


A Chance to Hope

by CompassUniverse



Series: What May Change [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asexual Characters, Complete, Demisexual characters (kind of?), Dialogue in color, Different deaths, F/F, F/M, Fear makes people do bad things, Gen, Going to rewrite with edits etc, I'll do my best at second person, Keep the style if you can because the text color is a little important, M/M, More chat logs than I expected, New quirks, OC, Sequel is up, Shapeshifter, Some people still die, There will be at least one sequel, There's swearing, They also come back to life, Trigger warnings for violence and suicidal/harmful thoughts, Who needs accurate timelines, Wow This Got Out Of Hand, quadrants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2018-12-13 06:44:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 62
Words: 101,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11754264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompassUniverse/pseuds/CompassUniverse
Summary: Lyllani Arttana might be the last shapeshifter. Her session was doomed from the beginning. She doesn't know if any of the others who played are alive anymore. They split up to look through the realities for a place to call home long ago. The horrorterrors have been whispering in her ears for so long that she might actually go to them soon. But then she sees a meteor, and senses the life on it, and dares to hope.





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is Lyllani Arttana and your race is referred to as a Telun. You identify as a female, but if you wanted to you have the ability to change because nothing about your physical appearance suggests gender. All Teluns are thin, fragile creatures with a layer of soft silver fuzz over dark skin. At the moment, you are a cherub. You have been flying through space for a very long time. You know that something keeps the vacuum of space from crushing you alive, but you don't know if it is cherub magic, the magic of the horrible game of death, or something else entirely. You doubt that it is the cause of the death game, because why would the death game do anything to keep you alive? 

You don't like flying through space, but it must be done. Cherubs are resilient, and if any power can find a new place to call home, a place that isn't stained silver by the blood of your friends, a cherub's can. The worst part is the voices. At first, they were nothing more than whispers. You had shrugged them off as part of your connection to your brother, but then you felt your connection to him stretch so thin that it broke and the voices kept going. 

_They've forgotten you. They don't love you. They just sent you off so that you were out of the way. It's your fault they died. You failed them. You are no healer. You will only be safe with us. Come to us. We will love you. Come to us._

You've gotten worse at not listening. It doesn't help that they're right. You're the Sylph of Life, supposed to be an ultimate healer. Ten of you started playing. Only four are left. Two of the six died in your arms and you couldn't heal them. You're a _failure. You didn't save anyone. How can you call yourself a healer if-_

You have to stop for a moment and make yourself push out the voices. You slowly beat your wings in place, staring out at a small blip of purple in the darkness. People don't seem to realize that there's a lot of empty space in space. there's incredible distance between stars. Which makes the blip of purple strange. 

You fly slowly closer to the blip, following its motion with your eyes. It definitely is moving, but not at a particularly fast pace. As you get closer, you can see that its an alien of some sort, pacing back and forth on a large meteor. The meteor looks like it had a community on it before and you wonder if it was inhabited by players like you who reached god tier just to wonder if you would be alone forever. Maybe they started to answer the voices. Or maybe it was just a construct of the game and had been created when the purple pacer started playing.

The purple garbed alien doesn't notice you as you land on the meteor. A nice thing about being a Telun is that when you shift into another race, you get a basic history of how they work. Just enough to not be entirely clueless. Turning into a cherub taught you how to fly with wings instead of with god tier power. When you turned into a meirax during the game to try to help in the fight against the final boss, you knew the best ways to activate your metallic coat to protect the others. _Not that you succeeded. You're worthless._

Okay, enough of that. 

You land behind the alien as it passes and watch it for a moment before transforming into a perfect copy of its form. Like a tiny slide presentation, you know that he is a troll from Alternia ruled by a system based on the color of blood. Rust blood is lowest and they are ruled by the Condesce. Their signs correspond with their horns and the color of the sign matches the color of the blood. 

You transform again. You are lucky. Most of the time, rapid transformations are painful. Being the Slyph of Life helps so much that all you feel is a disconcerting little pop. Your clothes don't change from your god tier uniform except to make the life symbol on your chest turn silver like your blood. You grow delicate fairy wings because that's what trolls seem to do when they reach god tier. The soft grays and greens on your outfit move to your wings. Your horns look like the larger curve of the Life symbol, curving outward at first and with a small curl at the tip. They weigh more than you expected, but it's too late to make them shrink because the high blood has turned around to pace back toward you and is staring. 

His expression is almost funny. You hadn't exactly _tried_ to be quiet, but old habits died hard and you'd definitely caught him by surprise. You wait a moment, but he doesn't seem inclined to move.

"Hi. I'm Lyllani." It's weird hearing your voice again. You haven't spoken in at least a cycle, at least, you think. You aren't actually sure how long you've been flying. 

Speaking seemed to snap him out of his frozen-ness. He jerks and brandishes a massive gun at you. A sneer presses across his features, but there's something else behind it that almost makes you feel bad for him. "Who are you? Where did you come from?"

You barely succeed at not laughing at his funny little stutter on the W. "I told you, my name's Lyllani. And I came from out there. I flew," you add, guessing his next question.

He asks it anyway, "How did you get here?"

"I flew," you repeat."See?" You spread your wings and flutter them softly, sending sparkles of silver dusting downward.

The highblood responds by lifting his gun and firing a bolt of energy from it. Okay, you see a path into the meteor over there. Time to abscond.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. I accidentally refreshed and had to start over this whole part.

You walk slowly down the halls of the meteor, glancing into rooms. You know you are lost, but you aren't willing to admit it quite yet. From what you can tell, the meteor is definitely a game construct. You've seen a few things you recognize, but it isn't until you find a room that looks exactly like the ectobiology lab from your session that you stop. You stare into the room, seeing broken glass and spilled paradox gel where there is none. Silver blood does not stain the ground, and Treckta's wide blue eyes do not stare unseeingly at you.

No. You see none of that. It has already happened. You don't need to see it again. You make yourself move on.

Your form shifts and you smoothly transition to walking on four legs as you turn into a meirax. It is a good form. At least as a meirax, you haven't failed anyone. You managed to protect Veritan with your metal coat, and pull Warrien up from the cliff with your long claws when Jountos had broken the Heart player. _You killed Jountos with those same claws._

You falter and shake your head, as though you can physically shake away the voices of the Horrorterrors.

You know if Treckta finished the task that your leader, a Knight of Breath, assigned her; you checked yourself. You know Jountos killed Treckta. He was her Truth, so you wish that it wasn't him. Nothing is worse than being betrayed by the one Truth.

_What would your Truth think if they found out what you did? At least Treckta died before she could see what he had done._

That's too far, even for a Horrorterror. Bringing up your Truth doesn't make you want to join them. It doesn't work as well as it might to sting, either. Maybe because you know that your Truth is dead.

You and Veritan never had an interest in finding your Truths, though. While others were out trying to find their Truth, you and Veritan were perfectly content staying home and talking with your online friends. For some reason, they always thought that you had found a Truth and asked for romantic advice.

You and Veritan probably gave terrible advice. Neither one of you felt much of a drive to go out and start reproducing. You'd assumed it was normal until other people started calling it weird.

_You know you're not normal. Come to us, and we will love you anyway._

You roar. 

The sound echoes through the halls, bouncing off of metal like a scream. It makes the voices stop, but your head lowers as you realize what a stupid idea that was. You run through the halls, completely silent as you chase the echoes of your roar.

You don't let yourself think. You don't think about the chance that you'll never see Veritan again. You don't think about how Arcatha, Maid of Light, curled in on herself when the battle was over and you all knew that eight had become four. You don't think about Pelleon, Rogue of Space, trying to reassure you as you frantically try to make the blood stop pouring from his chest while your hands were still stained with the lifeblood of the Seer of Time.

It hadn't stopped until his breath did.

You slow down, paws silently padding against the ground. Treckta had been the Thief of Hope, and you have to wonder if she somehow stole all the hope when she died. She was kind, too kind to have done something like that deliberately. You wouldn't have thought that Jountos would have used his sight to put you all into a doomed timeline, either.

"AC approaches the mysterious kitty!"

You stop, forked tail twitching. What.

"AC prowls closer unnoticed, sniffing cautiously."

Unnoticed, huh? Maybe she shouldn't narrate if she wants to be secretive. You take a seat, coat hardening into metal. Your tail wraps around your paws and you stare straight ahead.

"AC reaches out one paw to the mysterious kitty." A small troll girl comes into your vision and you have to fight the immediate urge to pick her up by the back of her cat hood and carry her to somewhere safe and warm.

You stretch out your head to gently bump your nose against her outstretched palm. Delight floods her eyes and she steps closer, stroking your coat. You let it soften where she touches.

"AC purrs in delight and nuzzles closer!" Okay, she's doing that. You stay very still as she pushes her horns against your chin, emitting a sound that is almost a purr. She's definitely cute, in a little pet sort of way.

"Where did you come furom, kitty?" AC asks, sitting back and smiling happily at you.

You do something that you aren't technically supposed to be able to do and change your body just enough to speak Alternian."Space. I flew."

Her little head might have just exploded. She stares at you, eyes wide, and you have the meirax urge to coddle her like a kit again. Finally, she pulls out what your troll knowledge identifies as a husktop and starts typing on it.

When she looks at you again, you ask, "Can I please use that?"

"AC hesitates, but then hands it over and requests that the space kitty doesn't break it."

She holds it out and you transform into your troll form to take it. She stares. You settle the husktop on your knees and type your username, ToxicRebirth, into the search panel. To your relief, Pelleon's electric magic works even after his death and nine other names pop up.

You don't look at the names of those that have died. You deliberately scroll down so that there's a massive chunk of white space beneath the three who most recently logged on.

Veritan was first, blackTuron. He had developed a love of Turons from books, and when his consorts turned out to be the beasts, he had been ecstatic. They're close to hoofbeasts that trolls know, but much more aggressive, and on fire.

When you select his name, you are informed that his location is unknown and that he hasn't logged on in four cycles. Have you really been flying for four cycles?

A shiver pulses through you at the thought and AC moves closer, squishing next to you against the wall. "AC looks over the kitty-troll's shoulder to see what she's doing," she narrates.

"I'm looking at my friends, to see if any of them have been online," you explain, and shift so she has more room. She squishes back against you. Okay. "Thank you for letting me use this." You select Arcatha's username, Littledancer next. Nothing in four cycles, and location cannot be revealed.

"AC stops roleplaying because she wants to talk seriously, and cats can't talk," she says. "My name's Nepeta Leijon."

You click on ChirpShock, Warrien. "I'm Lyllani." He hasn't been on in four cycles and his location is unknown. Why was Arcatha's different? 

ToxicRebirth [TR] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board Check In?

TR: Hello. I wasnt expecting to be the first one to find something.  
TR: Im on a meteor. It has some trolls on it and one of them is letting me use her husktop.  
TR: :33 < *AC purrs and meows a gr33ting!!*  
TR: I didnt realize that weve gone on for four cycles. I hope none of you listen to the horrorterrors.  
LD: hlyelllanpipmleease hahahHAHAHA sssssssssssssinnnngffaORadaaame

You blink at the message from Arcatha. You look at Nepeta, who blinks wide eyes back at you.

TR: Arcatha are you alright. You arent shown as logged on when i select your name.  
LD: hahahaHAHAHAahahahelpahahahahHAHAHAHA  
TR: Arcatha where are you. Are you around others.  
TR: Are you hurt. Are you in a dreambubble.  
LD: you COUldnT HElp aNY Of us WHY wouLD I let YOU helP ME

Your fingers stall over the keys. She's right. You would fail again. Nepeta bumps her horns against your arm and you look at her worried expression, then back at the husktop. "Wait. That's..."

TR: Is warrien with you. Why are you typing like him.  
TR: Warrien if you are there are you alright. Please explain.  
LD: hahahahaHAHAHhahahaHA  
LD: noNOnoNOnoNOSTOP hahahahahahAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Littledancer [LD]  exploded

TR: I. I dont know what to do. 

ToxicRebirth [TR]  has left memo Check In?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Nepeta. I've also decided that this is just a little bit before Dave sends the trolls the 413 gajillion bucks.

You stare numbly at the screen. Nepeta might be saying something, but you aren't listening. It said she exploded. Not her device exploded. She did. "No, we're not that stupid. Tell me she wasn't that stupid." You look at Nepeta, who blinks uncertainly back at you.

"AC doesn't know what you mean."

You groan, pressing your head into your hands. Great. Doing this again. You feel her lift the husktop away. "It's possible that she turned herself into a biological communication device like your husktop. But we don't do that! It's, it's really dangerous, Nepeta. Telun's risk death when we turn into anything connected like that because it's basically an invitation to make a virus and load it on our physical bodies. Mutants are, were enslaved that way."

"Mutants?"She is typing when you glance over, but you don't look at the screen.

You hesitate, then realize that it's stupid to hesitate, because really, what's she going to do? "We read about the game before we got it and realized that it was supposed to be a way to create a completely separate world to live in. We didn't know that it was going to destroy our home world. It's not like our kind is almost extinct or anything, we've got plenty of people on other planets in the galaxy that we were from." You realize you're getting off topic and force yourself to focus on what you were avoiding. "But the ten of us, the ones who played, we are, were, I mean, some of us still are, the rest are dead, why is this so hard?"

She pauses in her typing to look at you. "You were all mutants?" She hastily adds, "AC asks."

"Yeah. We were. Different kinds, of course. Some of us weren't as obvious as, me, for example. My eyes?" You gesture at your eyes, one normal gold and the other mutant blue. "That's a dead giveaway. It actually tells them what mine is, too. My eyes are different, which means that I can change into different things at the same time."

Nepeta looks toward you, opening her mouth, then glances at her husktop and huffs. "AC's furiends think that AC is lying!"

You laugh. "Can I see it?"

Nepeta immediately hands her husktop to you and you glance at primarily gray text with either a broken shift key or a caps lock addiction and blue text with an affinity for zeroes and percentage symbols without reading it. As long as no one exploded during the memo, you would be fine.

AC: Is the fish on this. The purple fish.  
CT: D --> I have STRONG feelings against seeing Nepeta's text in words that are not Nepeta's  
TR: That better. Pelleon would have had a field day with this tech.  
CG: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?  
CT: D --> Language   
TR: Is the purple fish here. He shot at me.  
CG: ERIDAN ISN'T INVITED INTO THIS MEMO.  
TR: In answer to your earlier question and as the purple fish would have been able to tell you had he been here my name is Lyllani. I am a player of sswap.   
blackTuron [BT] responded to memo  
CG: WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?  
TR: Please tell me you are not currently a husktop. That is very dangerous.  
BT: ArcAthA is deAd. i Am going to trAck whAt i cAn of her doom.  
TR: Veritan are you currently a husktop. If you are change immediately.  
BT: i Am not A husktop LyllAni. i found An Alchemitizer And cAptchlogued it. when i felt ArcAthA die i creAted A coutAn.  
CG: HOW DID YOU GET ONTO THIS MEMO? THIS IS PRIVATE.  
BT: wAit LyllAni someone shot At you?  
TR: He missed. I am fine.  
CG: OKAY I'M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS.  
CG banned BT from responding to this memo.  
CT: D --> What sort of l00dicrous creature is a T00ron

[BT]  posted file lAndofwoolAndblood.img

BT: they were my consorts. on my rAther distressing plAnet they were An unusuAl wonder.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BACK? I FUCKING BANNED YOU.  
TR: He is not going to explain but i will. Our rogue of space created a program to allow us all to communicate at any time with any other member of our game so long as we have a device and we enter our usernames.  
CT: D --> These creatures look very STRONG  
CT: D --> I need a new towel  
BT: hA hA yeAh, they Are strong. lyllAni i like the blue one.   
CG: DAMN IT EQUIUS SWEAT OVER THE FUCKING FLAMING HOOFBEASTS LATER.   
CT: D --> Is that an order  
CG: FUCK FINE YES IT'S AN ORDER  
BT: wAs thAt exchAnge normAl?  
TR: Veritan i know what youre thinking. Nepeta is showing no signs of alarm and im sure its fine.  
BT: yeAh but it wAs like jountos wAs it not? how he stArted chAllenging ketriAn.  
TR: Veritan. Dont be paranoid.  
BT: how cAn i not be pArAnoid when it wAs something thAt ActuAlly hAppened And cAused our session to fAil And our friends to die?  
BT: i cAnnot feel Another one of us die. there Are only three of us left lyllAni. you hAve to be cAreful. i cAnnot lose you.  
TR: Veritan calm down. I will be fine.  
BT: perhAps you should move on lyllAni. if there is A risk to your sAfety you should leAve.  
TR: Veritan i was able to cut through thorn armor unscathed and so far i have healed immediately when i am injured. if there is a threat on this meteor it is me and not a sweaty high blooded troll.   
CT: D--> I need another towel.  
BT: lyllAni i know nothing of trolls but As your blood i Am telling you thAt you must be cAreful!  
TR: I alarmed the purple fish but i do not think they are a threat to me. You are acting like an overprotective lusus.   
BT: if A lusus is A troll pArent then yes! i Am Acting like An overprotective lusus becAuse you do not look After yourself! i fAiled to destroy the doom of our friends And if you Are hurt i will fAil AgAin And i cAnnot do thAt!

You thump you head back against the wall. "He's being ridiculous," you groan to Nepeta.

The cat girl hums thoughtfully. "AC thinks that he's being hard on himself but taking it out toward you."

You blink. Think that over. You don't swear, because CG is doing that more than enough.

CG: JEGUS FUCK EQUIUS IS ALWAYS LIKE THAT. IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. I'D BE MORE WORRIED IF HE *WASN'T* LIKE THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN.  
CG: I'M THE LEADER OF THIS GROUP AND WE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO COMPLETE OUR SESSION BUT THAT WASN'T BECAUSE OF ANY FUCKING TRAITORS.  
TR: Cg. Stop typing.  
CG: AND WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?  
TR: Because for four cycles which i believe are two and a half of your sweeps we have been flying through empty space with only the voices of horrorterrors to keep us company. Those voices are very compelling.  
TR: They tell us corrupted truths. They play on our weaknesses in order to isolate us.  
TR: For example. They consistently mock my inability to heal others despite my god tier level as the Sylph of Life.  
TR: If you go back and read the message of my kin before you began your adventure in capitalization you may see an example of the horrorterror abuse toward him. /that/ is why you should fucking listen to me.  
CG: OH. FUCK.  
BT: thAt  
BT: i did not reAlize.  
BT: lyllAni i Am glAd thAt you hAve not fAllen to them.  
CG banned BT from responding to this memo.  
TR: Cg. Why.  
CG: I DIDN'T DO IT. I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT HAPPENED.  
TR: I know i do not properly emote when i chat. But please believe me when i say that i do not believe you.  
CG: HAVE NEPETA TO BRING YOU TO THE FUCKING RUMPUSBLOCK AND I WOULD BE GLAD TO LOOK YOU IN THE FUCKING EYE AND TELL YOU THAT I DIDN'T FUCKING DO IT.  
CT: D --> I shall hear the tale of your doomed game session as well

You sit back and look at the words for a moment, then at Nepeta. "To the rumpusblock?"

"AC leaps to her feet to lead her new friend on the perilous journey to the rumpusblock!"

TR: Agreed. Nepeta and i are on our way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, how do I make colors that aren't the colors of our existing Homestuck people happen? Update: 4-8-18, finally figured it out! New colors are up!

You sit with your knees resting against the armrest, looking back at Karkat's stare and trying not to laugh. True to his word, he swore that he hadn't blocked Veritan as soon as he saw you. You still don't know if you believe him. The couch is actually pretty comfortable. You could continue the stare-down all rise. Unfortunately, Nepeta makes him look away when she comes bouncing in with a large, sweaty troll that you assume is Equius. You watch the two of them take a seat. Nepeta seems oblivious to the irritated stare from Karkat. It's hard to tell if he's actually irritated or if that's just his face.

Equius is the one who speaks first. "Why did your session fail?"

Right to the point. You almost laugh, but it's not really funny. "Players died before completing their world quests, among other things."

"Didn't you have a seer or a time player to prevent it?" Karkat scowls.

You look sadly at him. "Our Seer of Time is the one that made sure it happened." Again, the shock on Karkat's face almost makes you laugh. It's probably a defense mechanism at this point. You shift, pulling your knees up closer to your body. "I think we all would have preferred death to what would have happened to us without the game, but not like that." You do laugh, now, low and hollow, and they are all staring. "Maybe we should have prototyped differently so that the king was stronger, so that he killed us instead of our own allies. I prototyped a pen and what you'd call a squeakbeast. Not exactly power pieces." You remember watching the kernelsprite scrawl sentences full of squeakbeast puns in bright orange light and smile.

After a long beat of silence, Equius said, "Nepeta stated that you were a large purrbeast when she approached."

You nod. "I'm a Telun. We're shapeshifters." You pluck absently at your god tier uniform. "Odds are that there are a bunch of them masquerading as trolls somewhere. Probably more of us than there are trolls in that area."

Karkat scoffed. "Somehow, I doubt that."

You lift your eyes to him. "The only thing to give us away is our blood color." He blinks and you take the moment to change into him. He recoils violently. "The ones that wouldn't be enslaved immediately can exactly mimic others." You change back into the female troll form that you've made your own.

"Enslaved?" One eyebrow rose over Equius's glasses and he swiped at his face with a towel.

You nod. "That's what they do to mutants that'd actually be useful. Like me." It's easier to say this time, maybe because Nepeta already knows. Karkat's breath catches and you look over to meet his stare. You keep your eyes on him as you say, "All of us had something that made us wrong. I think only Treckta and Pelleon would have been able to at least be treated as something valuable. Treckta could get information about creatures without turning into them. She wouldn't even have to see them. She'd hear the name and know the whole history of the race. Pelleon's shifting didn't work quite right, but he could use any type of technology you could throw at him."

"So instead of waiting to be culled or turned into a glorified pet, you played the game." Karkat is staring at you like you've grown a second head, and just for a second you check that you haven't.

"Pretty much. Like I told Nepeta, I can turn into more than one thing at a time. My options would have probably been spy or science experiment. My kin, Veritan, would've had it worse. He's always been able to sense when something bad's going to happen. His coloring is wrong, which would have told them that there was something different about him, and they wouldn't have let him live."

Equius's forehead creased. "Coloring of your natural form?" When you nod, he sits a little straighter. "I wish to see this form."

You shrink back just slightly. "Yeah, no. See, we're ridiculously fragile. Really, the only reason we're still alive as a race is that we can change ourselves and get the qualities of what we turn into." Equius looks doubtful, but you aren't going to prove it by transforming so he can see that a single step risks breaking your leg. The gravity on the meteor alone would be dangerous. Veritan said that the home planet for your race had a very low gravity where a Telun wasn't basically glass, but populating new worlds taught them what weak creatures we are. _Completely useless._

"Okay, really? There was a lot more to mock me about right there, and what you come up with is useless? I feel like I should be disappointed. Bet you don't like it so much that I'm around other people, do you? Don't like it that I'm not going to come off and be your new best friend?" You stop and realize that the three trolls are all following Karkat's lead with the 'extra-head stare'. You cough, hunching back into the couch. "Horrorterrors in my head," you mutter, looking down.

A loud clatter and banging sound makes all of you jump and Equius frowns out the door. "The mudblood is still adjusting to his new legs," he said, tone irritated. "I am going to warn him again about attempting to navigate stairs while adjusting to the new equipment." He stood and strode out, Nepeta popping up and trotting after him.

You look back at Karkat. "I'm not crazy," you say after a moment. He jerks and looks away.

After a moment, he gruffly says, "There are plenty of rooms on this meteor. You can use one. You probably want to sleep." You flinch and he looks sharply at you, confusion written across his face.

"It's just, I haven't slept since, well, since I got god tiered. I was a Prospit dreamer, if you had that to," he nods, "and you get to god tier by fusing with your dream self, sort of, and now if I sleep, it, isn't good." You press your hands to your face. "I'm explaining really well."

Karkat is back to staring at you. He slowly says, "I know what you mean. I haven't slept since that thing destroyed our doorway into the new world and then went ahead and killed our dream selves."

You look sharply at him. "You won?"

Karkat slumps and nods. "We would have. One of the first guardians, or something like it, destroyed our entryway into the new world." He looks so small and sad that you want to reach out to him, but you don't. You have a rough grasp of the quadrants of troll romance and have no desire to make him think you're pale flirting. Instead, you sit back and stay quiet.

Once again, the silence is broken by someone else. This time, it's a shout of, "Kar! Have you seen-you!"

You most certainly do not let out an undignified squeak as you jump off the couch to avoid the electric blast from the purple fish's gun. You do call, "Hey, look, it's the purple fish, and what do you know, he's shooting at me!"

Karkat is on his feet with surprising speed, hands out like he's going to shoosh the guy. Maybe they're pale for each other. Karkat does not shoosh him. He yells at him. And really, from how he types, you don't know why you're surprised. "Put the fucking gun down, Eridan!" Very straightforward, Karkat. Nicely done. Oh, wait, Eridan is actually listening to him.

You cautiously look over the couch and the gun twitches toward you, earning Eridan a glare from Karkat. "So, I'm not exactly saying it's a bad idea to shoot at mysterious things from space, but if I could _not_ be one of those things, I'd really appreciate it."

He jumps when you talk, which makes you roll your eyes. In response, Eridan glares at you. You grin back at him, making your teeth a little too sharp. His ear fins flare up aggressively and you sigh, hopping over the couch and walking over to them.

With Karkat watching carefully, you fold your hands behind your back. "Why don't we try again?"

Maybe you should just grow another head. At least then they'll have something to stare at. You sigh and wait. Finally, Eridan's gun vanishes. He lifts his chin and haughtily says, "Eridan Ampora."

He already knows your name, but you say it anyway. At least it's a start. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pelleon's quirk is hard.

You know as soon as you open your eyes that you're asleep. You don't look at the writhing shadows around you, focusing on orienting yourself. You fell asleep in the room that Karkat showed you to. Something came up with another troll whose name had a T and Z sound and he left. Eridan seemed to think that you were a very dangerous enemy, which you could be but won't be, and is probably still lingering outside the room. You had taken a seat against the wall to try to look through your sylladex for something you could use to help make a communication device, and then...fallen asleep.

_Stupid and weak. You never liked to dream, even before. How could you have fallen asleep like that?_

"Leave me alone!" Even though your eyes are closed, you still see Cerist, your Denizen, impossibly huge as you stood before the tree that was your quest. Heal the life tree and defeat the Denizen. You actually kind of liked your Denizen. You need to wake up.

"You know, if you wanted me gone, you could have just said nicely."

Your eyes fly open and you're a meirax, crouched low and claws digging into the ground as you face Jountos. He grins, too wide. Of course he's a kinti. Your size doesn't change when you transform. If you wanted to turn into a squeakbeast, you'd just be a giant squeakbeast. But Jountos's mutation let him manipulate his size, so a kinti, a creature that's a giant anyway, fits him. Spines trail down his shoulders and onto each of his six arms, flecked with silver that you don't let yourself wonder about. His white eyes, not gold like you remember, stare disdainfully at you and you growl back, not letting yourself move away. He takes a slow step toward you with two front feet, but you make yourself stay put.

"You're scared of me, aren't you?" he purrs, more spines rise through a red god tier outfit torn by your claws. They clatter together. He's so much larger than you could be in any form and you hate it. "I know you can talk, Lyllani. We're all freaks here, remember?"

You find your voice and state, much less steadily than you care to admit, "You aren't real. You're a dream figment. Something the horrorterrors made."

Jountos throws his spined head back and laughs. "Is that what you think? Oh, no, little one." He emphasizes the word _little_ and smirks.  "You might be dreaming, but I'm as real as you are. And I promise you, we'll be seeing a lot more of each other soon. Maybe you'll decide to take me up on my offer if I haunt you enough." He laughs, like he just said something incredibly brilliant. You aren't as amused.

You finally give in to your instincts and ease back a step. The fanged smile that splits his face makes you regret it. One of his arms reaches out and you recoil, but not before one of the spikes slices across your face. In a sudden jolt, you're lying on the floor, one shoulder uncomfortably against the wall. For a moment you think that you somehow slept deeply enough to return to your normal form, but then you realize that while your skin is silver, it is not dark beneath the shine. 

You push yourself up and look at the silver trailing down your arm. You lift a hand and sit up, looking at the silver over the gray of troll skin. Your face tickles so you lift your hand to feel the blood sliding from the line across your face. It heals where your fingers touch, but the blood doesn't go away. Neither does the unease at the realization that the mark matches where Jountos's spike touched you.

You search your sylladex and finally give up on finding a cloth in the infuriating Jinx modus that makes things not appear if you deliberately search for them. Pelleon programmed it as a joke and if he wasn't dead you would probably kill him for it. Okay, you wouldn't kill him, but it's still frustrating. And you can't change it because the genius put some sort of lock program on it.

You can't bring yourself to really be mad at him.

You pull out a spare shirt, one that you don't really need because god tier pajamas are weird and self cleaning, and fold it awkwardly before you wipe off the blood on your arm. You wipe your face next, but you aren't actually sure if you got any of the blood off. Of course, when you look for a mirror the Jinx modus helpfully goes, "What mirror?" in Pelleon's smug voice.

Someone knocks on the door and you call for them to come in, captchaloguing your newly bloody shirt. The purple f-no, Eridan struts in and stops, staring at you. Apparently you didn't get the blood off of your face. You sit back and sigh, looking flatly at him.

"I had a bad dream," you say coolly.

"And you did that to yourself?" he asks suspiciously. You pause. You like that option much more than the possibility that Jountos actually somehow cut you. You realize that you've been quiet for too long when Eridan clears his throat.

Before he can go anywhere else, you ask, "What did I do?"

He lets out a huff but moves toward you, ejecting a mirror from his own sylladex and presenting it to you with a great flourish. You take it and look at your reflection. There is no blood, so you're confused for a moment, but then it hits you. A long golden line carves under your mutant blue left eye. You concentrate, but it doesn't go away. You aren't supposed to be able to scar, especially when you heal yourself.

"That isn't supposed to happen." Your voice has a slight tremor to it. You shove the distress down and take a breath. "Don't suppose you know anything about hacking into a locked sylladex modus?" You hold the mirror back to him.

Something you don't recognize flashes on Eridan's face and he scowls, snatching the mirror. "What kind of person would lock your sylladex?" You wonder for a moment if it was resentment.

You make yourself smile. "One of the other players. Pelleon, the Rogue of Space. He thought it'd be funny to mess with my modus. It's called Jinx right now, and it doesn't give me the things I'm looking for." You sigh. "He was the one who made a device to let us always be able to communicate, no matter what server it was."

Eridan pauses, then mutters, "He important to you?" He sounds like he really doesn't want to ask, but you appreciate the effort.

"Yeah. He was sort of what you'd consider a lusus." You stand. "He would have survived. Even if the game hadn't been won, he would have lived. Only reason he didn't is because I'm a failure of a healer." You want to blame that statement on the horrorterrors, but you know it's true, so it doesn't really matter.

Eridan stares at you, eyes harsh and fins half flared. You can just barely see his teeth. He stays silent.

"Do you have a husktop or something I could use? Or a code to make myself another husktop. I had a coutan, a multilingual device that Telun's use, but it exploded. It wasn't supposed to be able to do that, but..." You shrug. There isn't really anything else to add. Not supposed to, but it did anyway. "Things tend to fail like that around me."

The aggression suddenly floods out of Eridan and he just stares at you. Without the fins and bared teeth, he looks younger. Smaller. "I know the feeling," he says, almost hesitantly. He heaves a sigh. "The mustard blood can probably help you out with your modus," he grumbles. With a flourish of both his cape and his scarf, he whips around and snaps, "Come on."

He doesn't wait to make sure you're following, but it doesn't matter because you are. He stops by a room with an alchemitizer first and you watch as he grumbles at it for a moment before he kicks it and a husktop pops out. You aren't sure what to make of that, especially because your alchemitizer didn't work that way, but you don't complain when Eridan shoves the device at you. You tuck it under your arm, because you'd rather not mess with your sylladex when you want it again.

He uses a transportilizer and you follow without hesitating, landing in a room full of computers with trolls sitting at a few and milling about the room. You pause when you see Karkat squinting at the screen of a troll with red glasses. There's a creature on the screen that you change into for an instant, just so you can find out that it's human. Then you follow Eridan to a rapidly typing, angry looking troll with four horns and mismatched eyes. You succeed in not staring, but it makes you ridiculously happy for something that matters so little.

"Hey, mustard blood. The alien-"

"KK already told me, fishface," he interrupts. That is an unfortunate lisp. "And I don't care."

You look at the screen and notice that it looks sort of like what Pelleon's screen usually looks like. "Actually, he brought me to you so I could ask a favor," you say. The only thing that comes up immediately is the disc file Pelleon used to screw with your modus. You hold it out to him. "Pelleon hacked my sylladex and locked it into an impossible modus. If you could fix it, I'd appreciate it."

He heaves a sigh and turns away from the computer. He snatches the disc and it changes in his hand, probably into something compatible with his favorite device. He glares at it for a moment, then closes the thing he'd been working on and fits it into the husktop. Immediately, a black screen pops up. Bright green letters scroll across, and you know without looking that they say, SmokingTrickster has invited you to a chat. Accept?

The yellow blood blinks for a moment, then hit yes. You say, "He programmed in so many different responses that it's practically AI. I tried to isolate that part of it so that it's still possible to chat with him, even if it's _not_ him, but I'm not very good with that kind of thing. As in, not good at all."

The yellow blood hums and switches to the black screen to look at the code. "This guy is crazy," he declares. There's an excited edge to his voice that makes you smile.

"Yeah. He was."

An alert opens on the chat screen and you and Eridan both look over the yellow blood's shoulder to see, Excuse yOu. UNless you are AddIng a /bRilliANt/ tO that crazy, I am insulted!

The yellow blood blinks. "He can hear us?"

You nod, then grimace and shake your head. "In the same way the husktop hears you when you make a verbal command."

TechnicAllY, what is happening is that I /am/ your [husktop]. Rare that I hear a word I didn't know. What are you?

"We're trolls. Sollux Captor." He points at Eridan. "Fishface."

I See That LYll Is asking you to break my awesome lock. I cAnnOt imagine why she would ever  
Wait.  
Is the camera on this MesseD up or is that a scar?

You groan.

ReAllY, LYll? Are you picking fights? Did you deserve it? Was it the purple one? I am SeeIng records of a conversation saying he shot at you. Oh, also, the gray capitalizing one did noT block Veri, Veri blockEd himself but since he did nOt tEchnicAllY exist it made the system glitch.

You glance at Karkat. Good to know. You'll apologize for doubting him later. "I didn't get into a fight. I just fell asleep. Can you get to taunting Sollux about how he won't be able to hack you or something?"

Sollux grunts, but green letters say, ActuAllY, Mr. MismatCh hEre might be able to do it. I am checking out some of his work and I have got to say, I am impResseD. This kid built a bunch of viruses to kIll EveryoNe eVen before the game.

You are briefly impressed, then you frown. "Pelleon, don't you dare."

You act like I am some kind of perv, JeeZ. Even if he was my Truth, it would be pointlEss Now because I am dead. If he dies and I run into him, I will fliRt /tHen/. I am respectfUl lIke that.

You cover your face with your hands and wish that Pelleon was alive so you could strangle him. You were being nice describing him as a lusus. He's more like a glorified babysitter who sits and plays on the phone for most of the time he's supposed to be watching kids. Okay, that was a human thought. Whoa. They actually have assistants to watch the kids. That's, surprisingly nice. But also a little bit weird. You decide not to dwell on it.

You should tEll LYll to leave so you can work. I am curious to See How far you wIll Get.  is on the screen when you uncover your eyes. 

"Yep, I'm gone. Eridan, is there a kitchen, wait, wrong word, something, why can't I get it? A place to cook. Is there a place to cook?"

Eridan sighs heavily, but nods and walks over to the transportilizer. Good to know you're being a nuisance and bothering him with your presence. You follow anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

The high blooded troll with face paint on rings with familiarity when you enter the kitchen-block-room-of-cooking. You stop short and stare hard at him, trying to make sense of the feeling, and then it hits you like a tiny disastrous truck. "You're a Bard class?" 

The troll smiles sleepily and there's green on his teeth that you just know is bad. You don't need troll knowledge to know that he isn't okay. "Motherfuckin' right I am, sis. Bard of Rage." He's leaning against an oven and there's something green inside it. A brief search supplies the words 'sopor pie' and 'really really bad'. 

"Sylph of Life. One of my other players is a Bard of Heart. He gives off the same kind of feeling you do." You glance at Eridan, who's hovering behind you like he isn't sure if he wants to leave or not. You smile at him and something shifts in his stance. Staying.

"Motherfuckin' miracle," the Bard laughs, shaking his head. He produces a Faygo bottle and you watch as he dumps most of it on himself when he tries to drink. He _really_ reminds you of Warrien. You have come to the conclusion that Bards are not okay in every game.

"What was your world?" you ask, leaning back against the counter. "Mine was LOSAM. Land of Sorrow and Music. Made anyone who went outside devolve into tears and fall to the music. Fun place. The Bard's was Mirrors and Thorns."

"Motherfuckin' Tents and Mirth, sis," he said with a smile. You look over at Eridan, who stiffens.

"Wrath and Angels." Your mind immediately goes to the angel still in your sylladex. This could be actually be incredibly lucky.

"How do you feel about the angels?" you ask carefully. His face immediately twists and his teeth show with displeasure. Fantastic. Before he can reply, you're asking, "Can you kill them?"

Eridan straightens up immediately, gills flaring defiantly. "Course I can kill them! They're-"

"I have one in my sylladex." His mouth falls open and the painted troll mutters something about miracles, opening the oven. You slide away from the sopor pie, glancing at Eridan, who casts a disgusted glance at the painted troll to inform you that this is business like usual. "The Land of Dreams and Wax and the Land of Gorges and Fire both had angels everywhere on them. Our Seer of Time said the angels weren't a threat and we believed him. He was wrong."

Eridan asks the logical question; "How did you get one of those things in your sylladex?" Unfortunately, you don't know the answer. And you tell him as much. He groans theatrically and you move over to a table, setting down the husktop, which is making odd noises. When you open it, you realize that the noises were to alert you to a chat. You ignore Eridan to look. 

ChirpShock [CS] responded to memo Check In?

CS: THE staRS Will SCReam  
CS: OFFeriNG A falSE DreaM  
CS: THey rAGE for A TArgeT THey hAVE losT  
CS: ANd waNT It baCK At anY COst  
CS: fUELed bY HAte tHE StarS UNwinD  
CS: CHasiNG A floWER theY FInd dIVIne  
CS: aND War aND Fear ARE losT IN anoTHEr waY  
CS: CAlleD BY exhAUStioN WAr caNNOt obEY  
CS: For wHEN feaR WIll nOT Wake WAR wilL NOt slEEP  
CS: as tHEY lie ON A plaNET witH NO comFORt to kEEP

You sit back and frown at the words. The troll with a painted face is leaning on your right shoulder and you aren't sure when he got there, but you leave him be. At least until he starts chuckling, at which point you look at him with a frown. 

"Mirthful messiahs are speakin' through your motherfuckin' brother," he says. You glance at the rhymes, then at the troll again. Eridan has failed to sneak over to your other side and is also looking at the screen. Sure. Not like you need privacy. You really don't. It's just sort of rude of them.

"Warrien always writes and talks like this."

"Speakin' through your brother," he repeats with all the calm of a heavily drugged animal.

"Wait, you know what that gibberish means?" Eridan motions at the screen with an annoyed hand-prong. Okay, you really need to pick between human minds and troll ones.

You nod, pointing at the first few lines. "When you're around him, you get pretty good at getting a gist of it. This part here is a warning. So, I'm guessing that he's talking about horrorterrors when he says stars. They're big and out in space, plus they say all these things to sound nice but it's a lie. So, the horrorterrors lost something that they wanted, and they're trying to get it back, even leaving their position, unwinding, to get it." Here you pause, frowning. Warrien calls you a flower because your name starts with the lily sound. His other side just calls you Lily. What he's saying is that horrorterrors, you're assuming, are chasing you.

"And what's all the gibberish about war and fear?" Eridan asks, jabbing accusingly at the words. You consider telling him the truth, then shake off that idea.

"He's telling me how he is. He's tired, and he found a planet, but it isn't a good one to stay on. No comfort means not safe."

TR: Can you sense me from where you are. I have found a place that is safe at least temporarily.  
CS: the FLOwer IS Safe   
TR: Yeah. I am.  
CS: WAR wilL SEek yOUR disCOVereD PLace  
TR: Okay. And warrian.  
TR: Be careful. Veritan made it sound like arcatha is dead.   
CS: WE RemeMBEr thAT We arE NOt alONE  
CS: and THAt no FATe is SET in sTONe

ChirpShock [CS] has left memo Check In?

You sit back and close the husktop. That's some relief, right? You still remember how Jountos had thrown Warrien as far away as possible. Warrien was the one Jountos was afraid of. He never expected you to attack from behind _like an honorless coward_.

You look at the painted troll. "I'm Lyllani."

He smiles like you've just revealed the secrets of the universe. "Gamzee Makara, Lylsis."

"Want to bake with something that isn't sopor? I've got a few ingredients." Ingredients that Pelleon locked slightly less than the rest because they were for his favorite recipes. Super helpful, Pell. Really.

Gamzee is grinning and nodding, so you roll back to your feet and start reaching into your sylladex. Hello, distraction, goodbye, self deprecation. Ha. Who are you kidding. That never leaves.


	7. Chapter 7

When Nepeta sticks her head into the room, Eridan is the first to notice. He immediately scowls and snaps, "What do you want?" in true Fearran fashion. You smack his arm lightly, earning you a snort from Gamzee and a scandalized look from Eridan.

"Hey, Nepeta. We're baking. Want some?" You pick up the tray, skin hardening around it when you remember it's hot.

Nepeta grins and declares, "AC purr-owls slowly closer, sniffing the air excitedly. What are you making, she asks."

"Lyllani replies that there isn't a good term for it in troll language. For Teluns, it's the standard requirement for a few different types of nutrients with some other things thrown in to make it better." Okay, talking about yourself in third person is weird and won't be happening again. You let Nepeta take one of the rolls from the pan and she bites into it. Her eyes immediately light up and shes polishes it off with the gusto of an animal completing a kill, which means sending crumbs everywhere, and reaches for the tray. You pull it back. 

"The tray is still hot. I changed my skin, but I don't want you burning yourself. Gamzee, do you have something we can put them on?" You turn to look at Gamzee.

"Sure thing, Lylsis." The troll turns and starts rummaging around above the counter, eventually pulling out a few flat dishes. You nod at Eridan, who looks confused for a moment before realizing what you want him to do and grudgingly placing all of the rolls onto the dishes. You set down the tray and Gamzee grins sleepily, waiting with the plates.

You take two from him and turn to Nepeta. "Why don't you take them to Equius, and some of the others? If they don't like them, you can have it all for yourself."

"AC takes the yummy food and agrees, trotting off to deliver the prey!" And she did. 

Eridan frowns at you and you look over at him, waiting patiently. You are rewarded when he snaps, "What do you want? There's no way you're this, this..." He gestures at you and you blink, then laugh.

You hold up three claws. "I want a place we can be safe. I want to be free to be myself. I want to help your session win." He opens his mouth and you shoosh him with a hand over his mouth. "This session is not over. I mean that. The place I come from, where mine was doomed and we had nothing? It fell apart. Started ripping itself open at the seams. The world was cracking around us, the game shutting it down with the great big letters in the sky telling us that it was game over and we had lost. That hasn't happened to you. It hasn't happened since I got here, which means that my doomed session doesn't follow me into your possible success. The way the system sees it, you still have a chance. That means that I do too."

You suddenly realize that you're essentially pale-flirting with your hand on his face and you quickly withdraw. Eridan just stares at you. Well, that went well. You shift uncomfortably, then say, "Well, I'm sure there are other trolls around to meet so excuse me goodbye."

Eridan doesn't reply, still just staring at you. You slide around Gamzee, who is still holding the plates and take a few steps toward the transportilizer. A warning pops up in your vision and you falter. Oh no.

Everything in your sylladex is ejected in one massive sweep. You lunge and catch the mirror before it can break and shove it back into your sylladex, then something hits you in the back, knocking you to the ground and you realize that you somehow managed to forget about the angel. It screeches angrily and lunges at you, and you spot a decorative knife that had, luckily, just landed on the ground rather than impaling Gamzee or Eridan. You roll and grab the knife, flipping it in your hand and driving it straight up into the angel's wing. It lets out a shriek and slams into the wall.

It continues shrieking as it scales up the wall, slamming against the corners. You groan and yell, "You're not even in the same session, buddy! No one is going to come help you." It stills, then lets out another shriek and dives at you. You grab your strifekind specibus and pull out a random axe, but before you can do anything with it several white bolts of light shoot into the angel. It goes crashing to the wall and you look over at Eridan, who has his gun out. Gamzee is watching with a confused expression.

Eridan snarls and shoots the angel several more times than what might be strictly necessary. It does, though, stop moving and stop trying to attack, so you're just going to let him be. You move over to Gamzee.

"Gamzee? You okay? My sylladex sort of exploded. Sorry about that." Gamzee blinks at you, then produces one of the various rocks that you had collected and put into your sylladex at one time or another because they were cool. You grimace and take the rock. "It hit you?"

Eridan is yelling at the angel, and you ignore him. Gamzee smiles drowsily. "It's fine, Lylsis. Need some help pickin' up?" There's something different about the way he's talking, but you don't know what to make of it so you just shrug and nod.

"Thanks, Gamzee." You move away from him, collecting rocks and returning them to your sylladex while you try to shuffle the pens and notepads into neat stacks. You glance over at Gamzee and find that he's staring at one of your books. It has a black cover and gold and purple decorations. The side reads 'Stars Unwound'. 

"It's about Telun mythology," you say. "You can borrow it to read it if you want." Gamzee startles and looks sharply at you. He stands there for a moment that's just long enough to be uncomfortable, just staring, then smiles.

"Thanks, Lylsis." The book vanishes into his sylladex.

It occurs to you that your sylladex probably ejected for a reason and you hesitantly reach to pull out one of the rocks. You are, instead, presented with a puzzle block that has a picture of your rock on one side, and multiple colors on the other side. It shuffles itself and with a dry, not-quite humor, you realize that this is Pelleon's next level of messing with Lyllani's sylladex. Sollux broke one layer, and now you'll have to ask him to get the next one.

"Eridan, when you're done shooting the angel, can you take me back to Sollux? My-" The transportilizer glows and a female troll appears, staring around in shock. Suddenly, something that you hadn't realized you'd forgotten is at the forefront of your mind and you are three cycles old again, sleeping at home and dreaming about a sad race that you didn't know you'd forgotten as she tells you about the game that had a part in her death. "Feferi?"

The heiress jumps and turns quickly to look at you. She smiles brightly and Eridan casts her a look that makes you want to scream because you suddenly know _exactly_ who you're around and, more importantly, what you're supposed to be doing. You want to hug her, almost, but you also don't because you remember the hole in her chest and the smell of her blood and you're standing by the one who did that to her and-

Oh. Sollux. Oh. 

"Hi! It's just-"

You cut her off, because she's still alive and that means that she hasn't died yet and you need to figure out when in this timeline you are. "We've met. In a dream bubble. Good to see you aren't dead." That was a disaster and Eridan is snarling. Feferi's smile is distinctly uncomfortable. You remember how sad she had looked when she told you about 'Erifin' and how she could never have been what he wanted and you don't know how to react to their reactions.

Right. Fish puns. You have to think for a moment, then you come up with, "It shore is nice to sea you again." Okay that was terrible. Maybe you should just go back into space and find somewhere new. Wait, no, Feferi is laughing. 

"It's just glubbing great to sea you too!"

Okay. This could actually work. You just need to keep an eye on Eridan, which should be easy considering that he doesn't seem too keen to leave you alone, and maybe, just maybe, you can drop the death count without breaking the timeline. 


	8. Chapter 8

"So you met her in a dream bubble?"

He isn't exactly acting like he believes you, but it's something. Feferi just seems excited. You have to be careful, telling them about it, because you don't want to risk causing a paradox or something. You definitely won't tell Eridan that it was him that killed her. The way he looks at her makes you feel a pang of sympathy. He has no idea what he's done in other timelines. 

"Yeah. Feferi is the one who told me about the game in the first place. I pretty much forgot about you until I saw you again." You smile halfheartedly at Feferi. "It was a little bit after I met you that I woke up on Prospit."

"This is so glubbing exciting! I wonder what timeline she was from!" Feferi is literally wiggling in place. You don't know how you feel about her acting so happy. It's an improvement, of course, but it's so different. You glance around for Gamzee, like he could somehow get you out of the conversation you're realizing you don't want to be in, but he's not around. Actually, you did hear the transportilizer go off a little while ago. 

You finally shrug half-heartedly and slide away to pick up one of your movies that had slid under the couch. "There are technically an infinite number of timelines because everything that we do causes a new one to appear because of the other options. My being here makes a new timeline entirely." One where maybe Eridan won't attack Sollux and kill Feferi.

"That's true," she says thoughtfully. The transportilizer activates and you want to shout your relief as loudly as possible. "Oh, hi, Equius!"

The highblooded troll pauses uncertainly, wiping himself down with the towel. "I apologize, highbloods," he says gruffly. "I was not aware that this block was occupied." His eyes flick toward you and he immediately straightens up in a way that makes you slightly concerned."Ah, I was searching for you...silverblood." You're not sure how you feel about that name but let him continue, "I still wish to hear of your session."

You have to think for a moment, wondering which option is better. You'll take the sweaty blueblood. "Sure, Equius. Do you think Nepeta would like to know, too?" With Nepeta present, you might feel a little better talking. She'd also be able to keep the conversation light, you think. You hope. You turn toward him and take just enough steps his way that the seadwellers know you intend to leave.

"Hold it!" Eridan springs up. "You're not going anywhere when you could doom our whole timeline!"

If he comes with you, that'd probably be a good way to keep an eye on him, actually. "If you feel the need to be my monitor, I have no problems with it." You keep your voice light. 

Eridan scowls, but stomps to his feet. "Fine. Let's find the kitty girl and talk."

Equius mops at his brow and returns to the transportilizer. You follow him with as relaxed a position as you can muster.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two really short updates in the same day!

You might have made a miscalculation. Just a little one. Maybe, just maybe, it would have been better to stay and dodge Feferi's questions than it is to sit by with Sollux typing in the background as he works on the second layer of your sylladex, Equius sitting across from you with a STRONG stern face, Nepeta pressed against your side, Eridan scowling, and a robot called Aradia standing and staring emotionlessly. You had stopped by the husktop block to ask Sollux about the next level of Pelleon's trap, but then Pelleon's program had wanted to know the details because it only knew what Pelleon had programmed into it. It had locked down Sollux's husktop until Sollux had agreed to move over to a private room where you could talk. You actually don't know where the robot came from, only that it might be in a kismesis with Equius. Whether Equius views it as a pitch relationship or not is unclear.

You can feel Nepeta purring against your side; all the vibrations seem to carry to your horns and it's a peculiar feeling that's not unpleasant. Equius is staring at you expectantly. The robot is also staring, but there's nothing behind the glassy eyes. She only spoke once, and there was a hollowness to her words that caused an odd sort of pain deep in your luxtru. Her interactions with Sollux might have been the cause of that. Something there was broken.

You don't look at anyone as you begin to talk. "Ten of us started the game. Two, Keirtal and Reeihvo, were the first to die. I don't know the details of their deaths, or of their mutations. We were down to eight before we even knew what that meant. Not all of the survivors reached god tier, but it was close. We were led by a Knight of Breath. We also had a Rogue of Space, a Maid of Light, a Theif of Hope, a Prince of Doom, a Bard of Heart, a Seer of Time, and me. The Sylph of Life." Your mouth twists and you continue quickly, befor you can see the silver on your hands and the smiles you don't deserve from your friends who think much more of you than what you are. Thought. None of them think anymore. Not really.

"The Seer of Time and the Theif of Hope were Truths. It's like the purest form of matespritship. It's what Telun's exist to find. We only have one and our shifting allows us to change to what they are and live as long as they do. When they die, we are soon to follow. To have a Truth who is another Telun is incredibly rare. That meant little, to the Seer, though. He waited until she had completed the task assigned to her by our leader of creating our ectobiological clones, and then he went to her with an idea. When she refused, he killed her."

"Holy shit,"  Sollux lisps, and you look at him to see the wall of green on his screen. 

The green condenses into NO

Anger rushes through you, hot and furious. "You think I'd lie about this? No matter what Pelleon programmed into you, we all thought that Jountos was our friend! None of us saw it coming. None of us could have known. But that's not even the best part. No." You're leaning forward, and Nepeta is leaning with you. "No, the best part, Pell, is when he came to all of us afterward and tried to tell us that it was _her_ fault. He kept saying that she should have listened to him, and that we should listen, because he was right and he was king and we, we needed to join him as the new line of rulers of existence." You're shaking and you refuse to look at any of the others. You're only looking at the husktop with its lines of green that are too small for you to read as a troll.

"He killed them. All of them. Looked ahead and saw what needed to happen for his way to work. He saw that he would need to fling Warrien as far away as possible, because he couldn't kill our Bard but at least he could get him out of the way. He saw almost everything there was to see. I guess he thought that any possibility where the _precious_ flower could ever be the one to take that step was out of the question."

The screen goes dark, so suddenly that you straighten, realizing suddenly that Nepeta had drawn back and Eridan forward, just barely reaching out. Equius mops at his face. Sollux stares at you. The robot does nothing. Your husktop, tucked beneath your arm on the side that Nepeta wasn't, pinged.

ST: You kIllEd him?

You gaze down at the words, unable to not image them in Pelleon's incredulous, horrified tone. You shut the husktop and look at Equius. "Any questions?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I discovered that Pesterchum is actually a thing and I made an account. Feel free to pester me at abandonedLily!

==> Be Veritan Arttana

Your name is Veritan. You have to keep telling yourself that because it's starting to feel like you're going to forget. You actually had forgotten, you think, but then Lyllani had used your name and it had come back. You don't let yourself forget any other names. You keep chanting them in your head, stopping when they run together and thinking of something else about them until you think it's safe to think their names again without them becoming meaningless. Lyllani's name is the most important.

Everything hurts when you think of Arcatha's name. There's pain that rises up from your back and across your chest and the wings of the cherub, like you should have more limbs but they're all gone. It's cold, too. Unbearably cold. You've learned to associate that feeling with death. The pain is different, though, so you go in her direction, or the direction that the pain seems to pull you, because maybe, just maybe, you can destroy her doom like the prince you're supposed to be.

Wait. Who...?

No.

_ArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcathaArcatha_

Can't change forms. Always silver. Unnaturally strong. Silver eyes. Changed to be beautiful. Haughty. Walked with her chin in the air and her toes pointed like she was wearing high heels. Wore silks to pretend to have a greater bloodline.

No forgetting.

You know you won't forget Lyllani. She's too important. You can't forget your kin. It's the others that scare you. If nothing else, you think that you'd remember Warrien because he's fucking _terrifying_. It's easy to picture him when you were his server player, standing in the center of that room dyed silver, eyes daring you to ask a question. You had scavenged the remains of a throne room and what must have been a once great library for grist, always aware that he was slowly following you as you went through the rooms of his palace, breaking it all apart into grist. He had only typed a single message to you in that time, just to tell you that he'd make sure Lyllani got into the game safely. You hadn't known that he was her server player until then.

You still don't know how Lyllani got on his good side. She'd gone into a side house so that the two of you could be transported separately, and whenever you messaged her she would tell you that she was talking to Warrien and everything was fine. Sure enough, when you all gathered in the game and everyone gave the eternal mutant a wide berth, she had padded right up to his tent in that meirax form she loved and plunked down beside it, meowing -which she didn't need to do- until he came out and scowled at her. That scowl made you shudder just remembering.

But he didn't hurt her. And later, you saw him go still when she was hurt by an imp, and then he had _moved_ and when you could see him again the imp was gone and Lyllani was holding him back from just attacking the king on his own. You were just glad he was on your side.

You focus on the space ahead of you again and stare hard into the nothingness. And then, quite suddenly, it looks back at you and you realize what happened to Arcatha.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, one year is about 2.1 sweeps, which is about 1.6 cycles.  
> Lyllani is currently about 8 cycles old, which is a little less than 13 human years or 6 troll sweeps. Most Telun's find their Truth by the time they are 20 cycles with a few outliers as far up as 30. A Telun is fully developed by their second cycles because most of them are raised entirely alone or within family units of a host race. A case like Lyllani's where she has kin who shared a dwelling with her is very rare. Lyllani's homeworld was connected to the birth planet of Teluns, where all Teluns are born and then distributed, and unbeknownst to her or most of the other players, when the meteors struck her planet and the planet that one of their number lived on that was isolated from the rest, the shockwaves of the planet's destruction carried to their birthworld and to the worlds also connected to it, destroying them all. Imagine a giant network of tunnels all collapsing at once, taking out the entrances and exits as they go. Any world that was unfortunate enough to house a Telun was destroyed in this way, effectively eradicating the race and doing an excellent job of wiping out several others as well. Only one of the players knows this, and he will never, ever speak of it.

==> Be Lyllani again

Okay? When were you ever not yourself?

==> Stop questioning. Leave the room.

You were doing that anyway, but whatever. So, yeah. You leave the room. No one follows you, at least not right away. Your husktop is pinging, probably Pell's AI, and you walk with your head down like you can pretend you're not feeling too warm and too close and the shadows are _everywhere_. You know how to get back to the room that Karkat granted you and you're heading there, because no matter what, you aren't going out into space again. You can't be alone again. Not like that. Not when another option is so close. 

_You were never good enough. Even Jountos laughed off the idea that you could be a threat. You will never be good enough to be worth saving, no matter what they tell you. The only thing they liked was how gullible and weak you were. All contacting Warrien did was get them killed. You didn't save anyone. You were just someone that they could protect. The naive little kid that they brought along as an afterthought. If you hadn't o-_

"Hold up!"

You stop and listen to your own breathing as feet strike the ground behind you. You're breathing too fast and everything feels hot. The shadows might be coming closer but you might also just be seeing spots. You turn toward the highblooded troll and aren't really surprised by his irritated expression. When he stops in front of you, you ask, "Can you just, not move, for a moment?"

"Wh-"

You hug him tightly, taking in the colder temperature of higher blood and trying to breathe normally. "Sorry. Sorry. I just need this. Just for a tick. I'll let go soon."  Eridan makes a small sound like he just got stepped on and you draw away quickly, arms folding behind your back. "Sorry,"  you say again.

Eridan stares at you, eyes blown wide. He opens his mouth slightly, then closes it again. The silence presses on for another few beats before he says, "Look, I'm not, don't take this as anything, because it isn't, just, do you want to talk?" He won't quite meet your eyes and his face is a little bit purple and it takes you a moment to realize that, yet again, you're acting incredibly pale. You bury your face in your hands with a groan.

"I promise I'm not trying to paleflirt you," you swear, dropping your hands. "You're just-" You stop, because suddenly it occurs to you that trolls define moirals as someone who stops the other from doing dangerous things. You want to stop Eridan from attacking Sollux and killing Feferi. You want to stop Eridan from doing the dangerous thing. The troll part of you that's actually somewhat functional around the part that thinks it's human, not to mention whatever else is wrong with you, recognizes that and is shooting for the diamond quadrant. 

If it worked, though...

"Does that mean you wouldn't want to be?"

His fins flare slightly, uncertain not agressive. "What?"

"Moirals. You wouldn't want to be, even if I did?"

Eridan's jaw goes slack. His hands move slightly, like he's not sure where to put them, then he makes a warbling sound that might come through his gills and says, "I, I don't know! You're already pitiful, so, so it wouldn't be, but, but Fef and me..." He trails off helplessly.

Right. Feferi had mentioned that they were moirals. Emphasis on the Were. "What if we just tried it out, and if something changes with Feferi, I can back off, no problem."

Eridan hesitates, then nods. "Yeah, okay. We can do that."

You smile, and he returns it, a little smaller. Okay. You can make this work.

==> Be the un(?)dead jackass.

You are now the undead jackass.

==> Wonder what just happened.

Yeah, what the fuck. That wasn't supposed to happen.

==> Watch your plans fail and go home miserably because the fish troll is no longer a viable option.

Fuck that. And fuck you too.

==> Be less rude.

Fuck off.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even pretend I'm sorry.  
> And AR is hard to write!  
> Update 4-8-18, I changed Pelleon to green, as you may notice. But I had to! That color is 38dd83 and I found it accidentally but it's perfect!

==>Be Gamzee Makara

Uh, why?

==> Why is everyone so argumentative?

==> I'm just a sentient set of arrow prompts.

==> The least you could do is listen when I get to step into the light.

==> 15 minutes of fame. It's all I ask. But _no _. I'm always being taken with a grain of salt even when what I'm telling you to do is actually relevant to the plot.__

____

==> So fine. Don't be Gamzee Makara as he reads a book on mythology that is suspiciously similar to the religion he knows and ponders what this means as best he can in his addled state. Don't be our lovable crazy terrifying clown as he realizes that he doesn't have another sopor pie at the ready and is at a loss. 

==> But since you questioned me, you don't get to be Lyllani either. You don't get to see her and Eridan construct a pile and look at it with about as much certainty as a newborn quillak looking at the twelve different pathways for the one that will lead it to its home. You don't deserve their bumbling over how a diamond is really supposed to work and end up laughing at the absurdity of it all before they settle down and Eridan tells Lyllani about Feferi and how annoying Sollux is.

==> You don't get to see the shadows that are coiling around them, either, or how they recoil at Lyllani's laugh but don't actually leave her. But maybe that's for the best.

==> What you get to be, is green. 

==> So.

==> Be green.

You messed up.

Well, actually, you didn't mess up. Your maker messed up. He had programmed you specifically to take his place, interacting with the others so that you were something they knew, and then, when your maker died, you would inhabit a robot he had at some point built and serve in his place as their annoying but lovable guardian. You didn't do anything wrong. He never built you a body.

He programmed you poorly too, evidently. He had said that Jountos was a protector. Jountos would never hurt anyone. Jountos was big and strong and a good, loyal friend. When his time started getting closer and everything he did was a risk to his increasingly brittle body, he would have gone to Jountos and asked him for help in the body for you. You would have been fully programmed by then, any 'kinks' worked out, and you would've been able to help as much as the rest of them.

You had it all planned out. In three cycles time, Pelleon's joints would start to seize. He would quickly settle in whatever home he had established and you would contact any important friends in order to ask them to come to that home. With you on a functional screen beside him, he would explain the details of his mutation. He would detail how all recorded cases of a mutation like his ended in death because, even if shifting worked, the strain that it put on his body was too much, and he would eventually revert to his true form. He would die, breaking apart from within. The only way he could survive would be if he returned to their birthplanet, but that was a nonoption.

Then you'd come in. You'd explain that you were his replacement. You were like him, but more advanced. You'd only have one form, because you were a robot, but you could upload yourself onto many devices and you would always be there for the others like he was. And that wouldn't go over so well, but it would be enough, because his death was inevitable. And that was okay with you. That was how it was going to be. That was how it was supposed to be. It was why you existed.

But now it isn't.

Now, you're just an unfinished application that was tossed into Lyllani's sylladex for a joke while he took a break to focus on the game. You're lost, is what you are. You always, always had a purpose, and now you don't know what it is. Even worse, you don't know if you'll be discarded if, no, when Sollux Captor successfully breaks your levels. You don't want to be thrown away.

So you go deeper. You dive into codes and programs, keeping only the most basic lines going so that Sollux can keep working. You throw in a few false trails, just so that he can get off track and take even longer. You wander around troll coding, examining the living materials, and look through their screens at humans living accelerated lives. You kind of like the one with silly glasses and blue eyes, but you're not sure what's going on with the scribbling all over his walls. You move on.

You go through a few more systems, absorbing information and scrambling it and taking it in again when it sorts itself anew. You know that time has gotten scrambled when you come across something akin to an old betex (Alien system of DX437 quadrant, eradicated in the 97th Cycle) program, but you keep going anyway, because you're still anchored to Sollux's husktop. You just need to be away.

When you brush against something, you almost ignore it. It's just a little bit of code, pretty sophisticated, like someone tried to map an underdeveloped brain. It's doing the same thing as you, just reaching out and scanning, but something makes you stop and reanalyze it. It's better than you, which stings a little. Maybe if Pelleon could have contacted this thing's creator...

But he didn't. So why should it matter?

You just going to sit there and ogle me?

The color throws you off because for a moment you think that it's Lyllani, but she never uses question marks and the color isn't quite right. You need to get out more if seeing something close to her orange makes you react like that. She types with lots and lots of exclamation points. Seriously. So many. It would have been annoying if it wasn't just sort of...refreshing.

SOrrY. I guEss I zoned out.  
Uh huh. It seems that you're a pretty advanced code, though with only half of the skill with which I was designed.

Ouch.

And who are you?  
It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 93% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.  
Oh. WEll. We reAllY are the same idea.  
Bro, come on. Saying we're alike is an insult.  
I AssUre you, my progrAmmIng would be much BetteR than yours had my maker not died.  
But he did. And I am the replacement.

You didn't mean to communicate that.

It appears that you are upset.  
I apologize for the insult. You are a close target and what AppEars to be the only surviving friend I have SeeMs to be ignoring me.  
Sure, yeah. Lash out at the friendly auto-responder.  
So. What are you?  
I'm a bryog modification of PelleOn Gerysti. He realized that he was going to die and began constructing me to act as his replacement. Betrayal was not an anticipated cause of death and I was left unfinished.  
Hold up. If he was going to make you to be the new him, was he going to give you a body?  
Yes. I plan to FolloW through with that anyway. If LYllAni starts to talk to me again.  
And you think it would happen? They'd make it for you?  
Of course. We are Teluns. Being trAppEd in a single form is one of the worst forms of punishment you can invoke upon us.  
Huh.  
Is there something wrong with that information?  
They would give you a body, just like that?  
We could easily make one for you as Well, eSpeciAllY once I was completed.  
Are you serious? You're not joking, are you?  
My sense of humor isn't like my maker's. But yes. I am serious.  
Okay. Yeah. Where doing it man. Where making this hapen.

You are suddenly very confused.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeking new ==>. The old one has departed indefinitely. If you wish to apply, please contact SmokingTrickster.

"Magic and science can totally work together," you argue, frowning at Eridan from where you're sitting on a book that might be about wizards. "It just depends on how you view magic in the first place. If it's something that breaks the basic laws where things can't be created from nothing and all that, then magic isn't real, but if it's something that isn't physical, like hope or belief, it's totally real. That means that it can work with science, because it's something real."

Eridan massages his fins, brow furrowed. "No, magic isn't anything at all," he insists. "It's just a joke for wrigglers!"

"If it exists as an idea, doesn't that grant it some kind of realism? It can't be nonexistent if it exists. That's redundant." You've forgotten how you got around to this topic, but you're really enjoying it. You think Eridan is too, because his ear fins keep starting to lift and he's trying so hard to control them that you're starting to feel a pain in your chest from not laughing.

"Only existing as a concept doesn't make it-" He stops and frowns, reaching into his sylladex and extracting a husktop. He opens it and scowls, fins flattening right away. "Come on." He climbs off the pile and you hop off after him, walking beside him to the transportilizer.

"What's up?"

"Kar wants something," he grumbles, continuing when you land on the next warp, "Fucking landweller, thinks he can ord-"

You nudge his arm. "Hey. We both know that you like Karkat."

Eridan gives you an embarrassed look and pouts a little. "Yeah, I know," he mutters.

You grin and lightly pap his face. "See? This is working. We've got it."

The two of you land in the room of husktops, where there are several more trolls you don't know. Gamzee is draped on Karkat, saying something about best friends, but he stops when he sees you and gives you an odd look. You look back at him, trying for a curious, concerned expression. Gamzee detaches from Karkat, making the shorter troll huff and roll his eyes, and lumbers over to you and Gamzee. Eridan casts Gamzee a quick look, but doesn't seem bothered by his presence.

Equius doesn't look at you, and Sollux doesn't turn away from his husktop, which has green on one side and yellow on the other. The Aradiabot stands silently. You look around for Nepeta and spot a gleam in the vents about Equius. You smile and look away, at an elegant troll with a jade symbol. Taking your attention as a sign, she steps forward with grace that informs you that she is incredibly dangerous.

"Hello. My name is Kanaya. Karkat has filled us in on your situation to a degree, but I felt that I should properly introduce myself." You decide you like her.

"I'm Lyllani. I appreciate the introduction. I really like your outfit."  There's a clatter and Equius grunts while Nepeta shouts something that might have been 'Pounce attack'.

Kanaya smiles radiantly. "Thank you. I quite enjoy designing clothing."

"Treckta did too! She'd have me model because I could change my form faster than the others." You smile at the memory. "I might have some of her designs in my sylladex, if you'd like to see them once it's unlocked."

"I may take you up on that offer. It has been a pleasure meeting you officially. Now, if you will excuse me." With a quick smile, she has moved over to Karkat.

"So, you're the other player!" Why hello, Arcatha, and how are you?

You look at the troll. Blue blood. You don't comment, waiting to see if she'll add more. Arcatha would bite your head off, almost literally once, if you talked before she was ready. She got nicer when everyone died.

"I'm Vriska Serket."

She's probably done. "Lyllani Arttana. Slyph of Life." You nod just slightly, knowing that the motion shows your horns a little and not really caring. Arcatha's attitude wasn't the primary cause, but it didn't help the overall downfall of their game. She had been supposed to let Keirtal into the game as his server player, and Keirtal would let in Reeihvo, and you still aren't sure if her personality had something to do with their deaths.

Vriska tips her chin up a little and makes a humming sound. You look innocently at her. She glances at Eridan, hums again, and meanders over to a brown blood with gigantic horns and...robot legs. Right, then.

"I don't like her," you tell Eridan under your breath.

"She was my kismesis for a while," he mutters back. You look flatly at him and he blushes. You shake your head and laugh.

"What's up, Gamzee?"  you ask, looking around Eridan at the highblood. 

Gamzee looks back at you for a beat, then shrugs and rolls his shoulders. "We can talk about it once Karbro is done getting his shout on, Lyllsis," he says lightly.

You nod. "I'll hold you to that."

The clown grins, eyes drooping. He looks over at Vriska and the troll with robotic legs, who is being lectured by Equius, and settles contently back into a seated position.

Something wet slides along your arm and your freeze. Okay, what. "You taste like metal and sugar," says a disappointed voice. "I was hoping for something better."

"What." You look away from the sharp horned troll and at Eridan. "What just." He just shrugs.

"You smell like sugar and lemons, so why do you taste like metal?" The troll twirls a cane and frowns at you.

"You're blind," you realize, looking at the lenses over her eyes. Your skin burns like you can heal her but you know that it lies. _You would only make it worse and end up with teal on your hands instead of silver_.

She cackles. "Actually, I'm Terezi." Her teeth are sharp.

"You're blind," you say again, and you're not sure why you seem to be stuck on this fact. Eridan seems uncomfortable and you're right there with him. "Sorry. Excuse me." You abscond. 

Three transportilizers later and you're sitting in a hallway cradling your head in your arms and trying to think about why being blind even matters.


	14. Chapter 14

Someone sits down next to you after a while and you glance to the side, not lifting your head, to look at Eridan. He stares straight ahead, fiddling with his scarf. You look down again. The silence drags on, and you search for something to say and find nothing.

"Kar's found these humans. I guess we created them. They're going to play eventually. They're the reason our session died. Kar wants us to troll them." He pauses. You don't know what to say so you say nothing. "I don't think I'm going to do it. It's stupid." He waits. This time, you can tell he's waiting. You search for something to say.

"It is stupid. If they're connected to your session, they're probably a way for you to win. Why you aren't a game over already."

Eridan hums. "I didn't think of that." He's quiet a moment more, then asks, "Want to talk about it?"

"I _really_ don't."

"Oh. Uh. Okay. Want to talk about something else?"

You don't lift your head, thinking. Finally, you start, "My brother, ah, an ancestor that isn't an ancestor because they're created around the same time as you are, would have been killed. For his mutation. It was the equivalent of a troll with red blood. He's, he's blue." A laugh presses out of you. It almost sounds like a sob. "It's why his text is that sort of silvery gray color. He tried so hard to just be normal. And then when I was, I think I was almost two cycles, there was this soldier named Gerisan, and he found us. It was just for a census, or something, mapping out who would be of age for battle soon." You realize that you sound like you're crying because you _are_ crying. You bury your head deeper into your arms, horns barely getting in the way. An arm moves across your back, awkward and uncertain, but when you don't shrug it off Eridan settles more comfortably next to you.

"Veritan was terrified, but that was before...before he started getting frantic about little things. He acted like everything was normal; I didn't realize what was going on until I was older. When Gerisan left, he gave me a piece of paper, and a book, and said that I should make some friends. Veritan let me keep the book, it's the mythology one that Gamzee has right now, actually, but when he saw that the page was contact information for someone, he took it and put it on his desk to look into on his own. A little while later, there were a bunch of soldiers being executed for helping, helping valuable mutants flee the system. Gerisan was one of them. They had a mutant with a mental ability there. He was the one that did it. Like having a mutant kill them would prove that mutants didn't want to escape. It was the first time Veritan saw someone he knew personally die. It's how we learned about his other ability.

"If he knows someone, spoke to them, heard their name, touched them, he can feel them die. Feel how they die. Feel if they get hurt. Feel it if they're in mortal danger. Teluns call it veritsy. It was something that an order of priests who served Fearran had. They were all connected, and when one of them would die, all of the others would know that there was a threat to their community. The pain of the death was split up between all of them, though." You shudder. "Fearran's priests have been dead for eons. The one they followed might not have died, but eventually, all of them did. So when Gerisan was ripped apart by the mutant slave, Veritan felt it."

You stop. You'd had a reason for telling that story at the beginning, but you're not sure what it was anymore. "Veritan wasn't the same after. He gave me Gerisan's paper and I contacted the names on it on my own. That's how I met the other players. Except Warrien. I found him myself and introduced him to the others." You wipe your face on your god tier sleeves. "That's how we got started."

"You couldn't have done anything for the soldier," he says quietly.

 _"I can't do anything for anyone,"_ you agree. _"Everytime I try to help, the ones I care about get hurt."_

He's quiet for a moment. "I'm not going to get hurt."

You lift your head to look at the troll. "I'm going to hold you to that."

His fins perk up immediately and he straightens, facing you seriously. "I won't get hurt. And we're going to be the greatest moirals since Eq and the kitty girl."

You smile. "You've got a deal." You push yourself up, taking a few deep breaths. "Want to come with me to find out what Gamzee wanted?"

"Shore. Sure." You laugh at his frustrated expression, even if the laugh sort of hurts and the shadows feel even closer than normal.


	15. Chapter 15

You might have underestimated Gamzee's ability to disappear. You've gone through each room with a transportilizer at least twice, and now you and Eridan are wandering the increasingly dark hallways. Your conversation about magic reached its conclusion at some point around the third stop in the cooking block, with Eridan conceding that magic can exist as something that science hasn't reached yet, but once science can comprehend it, it ceases to be magic, and you agreeing that magic could be treated like science in a way that would allow the same sort of channeling, like through wands.

You told Eridan about your home on Versi, and he told you about the shipwreck where he lived. You both skirted around the subject of the game. He confessed that he had a vacillating crush on Sollux for a while, but insisted that it's entirely platonic hate now. You remembered Feferi telling you about how Sollux and Eridan had fought and changed the subject.

"You know, you have a very basic name for what Telun's expect," you say. "Teluns who are created as males are almost always named with the ending 'an' sound. Females usually have names that end in A, or hard E sounds."

Eridan pauses, and you can tell he's thinking of the other names you'd given. "So, Gamzee is a girl name?"

"It's what you'd expect to hear for a female," you agree. "An O-sounding name, even one with an extra letter at the end, is usually for the young between non-Truth Telun's. Like Jountos, he was the product of a union that was supposed to end one of the wars. Not that it worked. But, since he was technically a lord, or at least was meteor-ed into a lord's house, he got a fancy name."

"What about the...Reevo?"

You almost laugh at the way he completely drops the 'eh' in the middle. You wonder if you would have had that reaction if you'd known Reeihvo better and the humor of it is gone. "He never told me." You think for a moment. "It's hard, sometimes, for Teluns, because our manners of reproduction change with our Truths, for the most part. The young who are created as Teluns are always sent to one of the planets for Telun growth, and the ones who are whatever the Truth is are kept on the same planet. When the wars broke out, things started changing, and there were actually programs specifically for stronger Teluns, stronger soldiers. Everyone was allying with their Truth's race and it raised hostilities between Teluns and against them. It got harder to tell if someone had been made to be a soldier by production, or if it had actually been Truths."

A slightly uncomfortable silence falls. You stare hard at the ground as you walk, trying not to imagine what your makers were like because you know there's no point. Veritan would always say it was pointless to think about them, but you still wondered. Sort of funny, when it all turns out that you were just an ectobiological creation. Makes the names mean a lot less.

"My lusus was..." Eridan stops, voice shuddering, and you turn to him. "He helped me with Fef, and, and I should've listened to him better about-" He cuts himself off and doesn't look at you.

You step closer to Eridan and lightly pap his cheek before you pull him into a hug. "It's okay to miss him, Eridan."

His hands curl into your outfit and you're a little glad that you figured out how to make the wings disappear like troll god-tiers would when you feel claws prick against your skin. "I do," he whispers. "I miss my lusus."

"Honk."

You both jump and you release Eridan, looking up at the vents. "Gamzee? Was that you?"

Yellow eyes gleam back at you and you see the flash of teeth. "Hey, Lyllsis."

You laugh. "You and Nepeta like the vents, don't you? We've been looking for you."

The grate pops out and the lanky troll slides out like he has no bones, landing in a heap in front of you. You stare at him, a little concerned. Eridan doesn't share your concern. If anything, he seems a little irritated that you were interrupted. You elbow him lightly and he tries to scowl, but fails miserably. You grin.

"So, Gamzee, what's up?" 

The clown unfolds himself and pauses, seeming to think for a moment before he produces the book you gave him from his sylladex. "Where'd you get this, Lyllsis?"

You notice Eridan's quick glance at you as you say, "It was a gift. Why, what's up?"

Gamzee opens to the page where it talks about the twin gods of fear and war. You'd forgotten how many notes you'd scribbled into it. "This, that you wrote," he says slowly, "Is it motherfucking true?"

You straighten a little. "What I wrote? Yeah, it's true." You know that some of your notes seem sort of ridiculous, but knowing him personally made it easy to find some of the flaws in the myth. "I checked with him on anything that seemed weird."

Gamzee freezes. He stays perfectly still for a moment, then lifts his head to stare at you. "You _know _this motherfucker?"__

You nod. "Yeah. He's one of the players." Gamzee goes still again, and you're not sure if you've said something wrong.

"One of the ones who lived?"

Oh, you get it. "Yes. One of the ones who lived. Remember the one who contacted me, and you said that he talked in miracles?" You pause and watch Gamzee's features shift and he slowly nods. "That's the other personality. The nicer one."

Gamzee looks down at the book again. "Can, you tell me? About him?"

Now it's your turn to be surprised. "You're not scared? All of the others were always going on about how he was dangerous. I was the only one who would work with him, and getting Veritan to stop hovering while I did that was like snapping bones." You grin. "But, yeah. If you want to know about either one of them, I'd be glad to tell you anything."

Finding someone who likes Warrien and Fearran is great. They both need to realize that there are people who will care who aren't, what was it, "Too much of a fucking rekit kid to know how to pick a quitna partner who won't just get you killed." Ah, memories. Now that you think about it, Fearran did stop swearing around you eventually. The old timey phrases were kind of funny, though. You hadn't even known that rekit was another term for idiot until he'd used it.


	16. Chapter 16

=======>New arrow guy, give a prompt.

===>Right away, sir!

=======>No, don't talk to me where readers can see it.

===>Right, sorry, sir!

=======>No. Just. Just give them the prompt.

===>Right! Be the fish troll!

You, the fish troll, take offense to being called the fish troll.

===>Sorry, sir! I meant

===>Be Eridan Ampora!

That's much better. You-

=======>Can we fire the new guy? He interacted with the characters. That's not allowed either.

Hey, you don't like being interrup-

==========>We're not firing the new guy. It's his first day. Let him get excited. Sorry, Eridan, go ahead.

...

You don't trust them to be done.

==========>We're really done, dear, go right ahead with your turn at narrating. Skies know that you won't get another for quite a while.

Wait, what?

==========>Oops, spoiler alert!

=======>Dammit, Ten, get back behind the curtain! To the readers: "Pay no mind to the arrows behind the curtain."

You, Eridan Ampora, are not sure what just happened. You're also not sure what's currently happening. Your moiral, that's right, _your_ diamond, is sitting beside Gamzee Makara, excitedly talking about someone from her game. You're still sort of processing that you have a moiral, and considering how your last one went, you're a little concerned. You will, however, be a great moiral this time because any attraction you feel toward Lyllani is in the purest sense of protection.

You've noticed, and surprised yourself by noticing, the little changes that come over her. She'll be laughing and talking normally, but then a certain subject will come up and it's like she gets heavier. There's something there that she isn't sharing, and as her diamond you plan to fix it. You just, aren't sure how. But, you know someone who is!

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

CA: kan you got to help me  
GA: Hello Eridan  
GA: What Is It That You Need Help With  
CA: so you knoww howw me an fef ended cause i wwas flushed the whole time and just sorta played my cards wwrong and nevver really got that across  
GA: Yes  
GA: I Am Not Sure Where You Are Planning To Go With This  
CA: right wwell see i dont knoww howw to do an actual diamond  
GA: You Are Requesting My Assistance In Being A Good Moiral  
GA: For A Moiral You Do Not Have  
CA: oh right lyl is my moiral noww  
CA: but i wwanna do it right this time  
CA: and kar is great for romance advvice but i dont really got anythin to use the advvice wwith  
CA: dont havve the romance in the first place  
CA: kan you there  
CA: kan  
CA: kan  
CA: kan  
CA: kan  
CA: kan  
CA: kan  
GA: Yes  
GA: I Was Just Surprised  
GA: I Needed To Take A Moment  
CA: its not that big of a surprise kan  
CA: i just need to knoww wwhat to do  
ST: Here is a starting tip. Don't hurt her or you wIll Have the living and the dead raining tErrOr upon you. You have BeeN warned.  
GA: Well  
CA: thats just one a lyls friends  
CA: that ones in sols husktop  
GA: I See  
CA: yeah so advvice  
GA: Have You Tried Talking To Her  
CA: haha vvery funny kan  
CA: course wwe talked  
CA: made a pile outta my stuff cause hers is all locked up  
GA: I Believe That You Should Share All Of Your Feelings In A Moirallegiance  
GA: Even If It Is Not Something That You Are Comfortable Sharing  
GA: I Feel That I Must Ask  
GA: You Do Not Have Secret Flushed Feelings For Lyllani Do You  
CA: no kan i dont  
CA: an im insulted by the question  
CA: but  
CA: thanks

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

You look over at Lyllani, who jumps when you meet her gaze. Her eyes are like Sol's, and it had made you think about hating her at first, but there was just something unhateable about her. Maybe it was how she'd just acted like everything was normal even though you'd shot at her. Which, it occurs to you, you should probably apologize for.

The mythology book that got their conversation started is in front of you, so you pick it up and flip to the story they're talking about. You skim over it, not sure what you're really looking for in the first place. Twin gods War and Fear fused, orange lines underline that and there are scribbles in the margins. They lived on a planet separate from everyone else, and killed anyone who came close by ripping out their luxtru. More scribbles on the side. War and Fear have no luxtru and that is why they're monsters. They have no Truth and never will and want to kill everyone because of it. Over that portion, is a large 2. You aren't sure what that's supposed to mean.

You look back over at Lyllani, your diamond, and Gamzee. Gamzee's lusus was a seadweller, even though Gamzee wasn't. That's always given the troll a bit of a boost, in your opinion. You've never really talked to him, though. He's just the weird, high, clown. And that's it.

But maybe it isn't.

You stand and stride over, taking a seat next to Lyllani so you can at least hear something of whatever they're talking about. Lyl just shifts to give you room and gives you that smile that has a little too little creasing up and a little too much that seems too dark. You smile back anyway.


	17. Chapter 17

===>Be Lyllani!

You're now Lyllani. 

=======>You don't have to tell them to be Lyllani, Lyllani is the default for this story.

Oh, you're the default? That's nice.

===>But in the sequel there will be lots of different people! Shouldn't we start specifying now?

There's going to a sequel?

===>Yeah! It's going to have a lot of romance in it!

That's great! Does Veritan get a Truth?

===>Yep! And you're never going to believe who it is! It's-

=======>No! No more spoilers! Ten already ruined it! So help me, I am the head arrow and I will fire all of you!

===>Oops.

==========>Lololololololol.

Well, that was interesting. The new arrow guy seems nice, you think. Very excited. You're a little concerned at the moment, though, because you think there might be something wrong with Gamzee. You'd been telling him about how Fearran arrived on a Telun controlled planet in the meteor and survived, making him have the label of a god even though it was really his mutation that made him nearly indestructible, when he slowly tipped over and fell onto the ground. You and Eridan determined he had fallen asleep, and he's out _cold_.

"So, should we, get him somewhere more comfortable? Or at least more private?" You glance around the living block.

Eridan nods slowly. "I'm not sure where his block is," he admits.

"We can put him in mine. I might-" A notification pops up and you grab Eridan, pulling him quickly to the side and out of the way as everything in your sylladex ejects again. "What's the point of the notification if it barely gives me enough time?" you ask no one, lunging forward to catch the mirror before it hit the ground and broke. At least it landed close to you again.

"Did Sol get another layer?"

"Yep. Could you hold this?" You hand him the mirror and make your way around the block, picking up as much as you can hold and returning to set it in a pile by Eridan. "Look through that for things that you'd like for our pile and put them into your sylladex so we can access them again later," you suggest as you go to collect more. "Now's a good of time as any, I guess."

"Alright. Should this mirror be somefin? Something?" He holds up the mirror and you pause, then nod slightly.

"It's more than just a mirror. It has video streaming and books, too. I can show you how to use it later." You drop a collection of rocks onto a shirt where they click against each other. After a moment you crouch and study the rocks, eyesight adjusting to match the werstin's in the mining colonies. You look over the stones thoughtfully, and pick up one that's a perfect sphere, completely gray on the outside. Your form shifts into a werstin's completely, making you grimace for just an instant because their skelatal structure is one of the more simple ones and _your_ skeletal structure is far more complex and your bones almost have to grind against each other for the form to work. You slide your claws into the stone, slicing it in two, and change back into a troll.

"Here, for you." You hold out one half of the geode, only checking for an instant that you cut it correctly. It's deep purple, the closest you had to Eridan's blood color, and you cut it at an angle so that the crystal has a diamond shape. Eridan takes it gingerly and stares down at it, eyes wide and fins flared.

"Wow," he breathes.

You smile to yourself and collect the rest of your things, setting aside the clothes you think you could show to Kanaya later. You pick up another stone and place it into your sylladex, then try to take it out again. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What?" Eridan looks over quickly, stuffing the geode into one of his pockets.

"It's a connect the dots. Like I'm a little kid again." You glare at the image, the dots mocking you. "I liked my old modus. There was nothing wrong with it! A forest modus is perfectly functional if you know how to use it. But did Pelleon think so? No, he thought that this! Would be better."

Eridan starts picking out other things from the pile of your belongings and they vanish into his sylladex. "What's a forest modus?"

You start placing other objects back into your sylladex, avoiding anything you could weaponize. Eridan seems to pick up on that and collects them as well. "It's great! Each class of item has its own tree. The problem with the tree modus is that if you pull out the root everything falls, but for the forest modus there are dozens of different roots. I could have a tree just for rocks, and a tree just for books, and each branch would be a genre or a type of mineral. It can be complicated if you lose track of what's where, but I was really good at using it."

Eridan stares at you for a moment, then hums and picks up a tattered shirt you didn't know you still had. "What happened to this?"

You frown. "That's what I died in."

Eridan looks through the holes. "What happened to _you_?"

You stare at the shirt, ears ringing with the sound of shouting and your denizen's voice booming out an order as the tree that you had healed-

Something lightly paps your face and you jolt, staring at Eridan. He doesn't lower his hand, eyes searching yours. "Sorry. Can we not talk about it?"

He nods. "Yeah. We don't have to." The shirt disappears and Eridan busies himself with another stack of rocks.

"Thank you," you say after a moment. "For not pushing me. And for not letting me go..." Wherever you'd been about to go.

Eridan's fins twitch and he glances quickly at you before looking down with a shy smile on his face. "It's what moirals are for...isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is."

_ "You will change nothing." _

You twist around, an axe falling from your strife specibus to land in your hand. The room is empty. The axe feels heavier than your normal one and you glance at it to see which one you pulled out. The silver vines coiling around the axe seem to laugh at you even after it clatters to the floor. You shouldn't still have Bane. It should be gone. You left it behind on the ending session. It should have been destroyed by the game over sequence.

"Lyl!"

Oh, Eridan's really close. And you're sitting down. When did that happen? You look at him. "Yeah?"

He splutters. "Yeah? Yeah! What just happened? What is, is that?" He gestures at Bane.

You look at the weapon, at the vines that move steadily like eels around the handle of the axe and the blade itself moves and warps, tinted with poison. "Bane. It's, um, it's a parasitic variation. It feeds off of the blood of its user and becomes stronger in turn."

Eridan's eyes widen and he grabs your arm, but you always, always make sure that any scars are hidden by shifting, and Bane didn't have time to break skin, so you know that he'll find nothing.

"I hit Jountos with it. I had to use it because he was so much bigger than me, and I had to get him on the ground, and he turned his back on me, so I hit one of his legs to make him fall." You shut your mouth tightly. Your skin is coated in silver and you don't want to look at it but Eridan is still holding your hand and part of you is afraid that he'll somehow see the blood.

Bane vanishes back into your specibus and you stand, squeezing Eridan's hand for a moment before you let go. You scoop the rest of your things into your sylladex and you turn toward Gamzee. "Let's move Gamzee, yeah?"

Eridan's eyes narrow and he gives you a look that says that you're definitely not entirely off the hook, but joins you in the study of Gamzee. He's probably light, but he's long. He'll be hard to carry. It's not like you can put him into a sylladex like you did to the angel. Or if it is, you're not going to try.

"You want to lift his shoulders or his feet?"

Eridan huffs and grabs Gamzee's legs. You dodge the clown's horns and lifts his arms, snorting when he honks sleepily. "He's totally out."

"The idiot was probably trying to follow Kar's order not to sleep," Eridan grumbles.

You hum understanding, looking down at Gamzee's smudged face paint. You wonder if it's covering up shadows as the two of you carry Gamzee out of the room. As the door shuts you glance back, and for an instant, you think that there's a puppet sitting on the couch.


	18. Chapter 18

Eridan surprised you by agreeing to let Gamzee sleep on the pile the two of you had made. He pointed out that sopor was useless or gone, and the clown might as well have something _slightly_ comfortable, and promptly dropped him onto a collection of wizard books. The two of you had talked a while longer, then Eridan, too, had dozed off on the pile. You grudgingly connected the dots to get your husktop out, making sure that you frowned the whole time so that Pelleon's AI knew that you were not pleased. Sollux stopped by to grab the last file and you almost wish you'd gotten a picture of his face when he saw Gamzee and Eridan conked out on the pile.

Sleep is not a thing you're going to let yourself do, so you check on the other players from your session. No one is online and no one has added anything to the memo. Great.

You find the button for random encounters, it's in a different spot than normal for some reason, and click it. Veritan hated it when you did that, but considering that you had very little else to do, he couldn't really stop you. 

toxicRebirth [TR] began trollingturntechGodhead[TG]

TG: sup  
TG: damn one word and already shocked you into silence  
TG: the power of a single SUP is too much for any one man  
TG: i have surpassed the mortal field of understanding and only i may use a word of such awe  
TR: Indeed. It is too great a power for my to comprehend.  
TG: a word that makes all who hear it tremble in terror  
TG: oh hey  
TG: sup  
TR: Well something that would be up would that your text color surprised me and i apologize for not replying right away. I quite like the color red despite how it has become something negative in my mind.  
TG: yeah red is the bomb  
TG: so when are you going to start the trolling  
TG: im just a guy waiting to be trolled  
TR: Ah. I did not realize that using a husktop would make me use trollian.  
TR: It makes sense though. I am afraid that i dont know much about trolling someone though.  
TG: oh so youre not with those other nerds that troll us  
TR: Oh. Youre one of the humans.  
TR: It does seem typical of the game that it would connect me to another eventual player than someone who is unconnected and as a result will likely die. So in answer to your question i am with the other nerds but i am not exactly one of them.  
TR: This encounter was entirely random by my actions. Which included using the random encounter key.  
TG: well that makes me feel important  
TG: wait one of the humans  
TG: like youre not?  
TR: Yes. I am not human.  
TG: see there you go now youre trolling me  
TR: Only because trollian dictates it. Eridan did say that karkat wanted them to troll you in a negative sense but we both agreed that it was stupid and elected not to do it.  
TR: I am not human in my nature though I could take the appearance of one. I am a shapeshifter.  
TG: well your delivery is on point  
TG: youre looking me dead on and telling me how it is  
TG: i can appreciate that  
TG: what youre delivering sorta sucks though  
TG: you could be anything at all and you go with shapeshifter  
TR: Yes that is what a shapeshifter is. Someone who can be anything.  
TR: Except of course for what we naturally are because doing so would be deadly. Not that that stopped everyone from dying.   
TG: well that took a dark turn  
TR: I apologize. You are not who i should be saying those things to.  
TG: really theres a person who you should be saying that to  
TR: Yes. Between the one who killed them and my moiral i believe i have covered the appropriate people.  
TG: right  
TG: so youre not friends with the guy who does all the commas and uhs and ums  
TR: I do not know. Im not sure who that is.  
TR: It occurs to me that i do not know when you are either. You are not yet playing the game correct.  
TG: the game  
TG: going big with the cryptic words  
TR: I am taking that as a no. If you had played you would know.  
TR: I am also assuming that if you have not played your guardian is still alive. Is that also correct.  
TG: whoa wait hold up there  
TG: bro isnt dying anytime soon  
TG: i dont know what your deal is but saying my bros going to die is just stupid  
TR: It is not impossible that your bro will survive. It is just very unlikely.  
TR: My guardian and brother survived but only because he also played. When you play the game obtain a copy of it for your brother.  
TR: The guardians of all of the other players died through various means shortly after we begun playing. If your brother is a player he may be more likely to live.  
TG: what are you even talking about  
TG: this has gone past trolling to just straight up being an asshole  
TR: Oh. Im sorry.  
TR: My intention was to assist you not to upset you.  
TR: I will take my leave now. But when you do start playing please make sure that your bro also plays.

toxicRebirth [TR] has ceased trollingturntechGodhead[TG]

Well. That went well.


	19. Chapter 19

You put away your husktop and look over at Eridan, whose face is slightly screwed up as he dreams. You reach over and gently pap his cheek, running your hand carefully along his face. He lets out a little trill and relaxes. It's funny how something so simple can make you feel helpful. Like it was a good thing you didn't die, or let yourself go completely to the horrorterrors.

Okay. You should probably make a plan.

Obviously, there's stopping Eridan from attacking Sollux and killing Feferi. You're pretty sure you've got that covered with being moirals, but you can just stick with him and pap him into non-murderous tendencies. And if Feferi is 'supposed' to die, which she sort of made seem the case, you can figure out something to do that gets her off the meteor, not interfering with the things that are supposed to happen. Okay. So that's a thing you need to figure out.

Then there's Gamzee. Gamzee who is just sort of present and you're not sure why but it doesn't matter. He's here and even if you're not interested in pursuing a quadrant with him, you're sure that Warrien and Fearran would be great for a diamond with him, assuming that he isn't at least one Truth, which would be fantastic but is unrealistic. So, regardless of the details, you're making sure that Gamzee doesn't die.

Of course, you'd prefer that there was no more death at all, but you don't know the other trolls well enough to know which ones you should focus on aside from Nepeta and Equius, and you doubt that there's an enemy that could defeat Equius.

The humans are also a thing. You're not going to use the random encounter again because you saw how well that went, not to mention that it would probably connect you to another human. But the humans are important. You need to figure out the details of that, but maybe this isn't the time.

And then there's Jountos. Jountos who should be dead but whose voice you've been hearing. Also Bane, but that's something that you don't want to think about, because when you do, the darkness that you had locked away tries to slip up and out again and the whispers get louder. So. Jountos. Jountos who should be dead. Relk.

You flop back into the pile, feeling the edges of books digging into your side. You have to go to sleep, don't you? You don't want to sleep, but you need to find Feferi, any Feferi really, to figure out what to do with her when she doesn't die, and you need to get as much information as you can about Jountos. You don't want to sleep. It's not safe. You're weak when you sleep and you know it.

With a startled honking noise, Gamzee bolts upright and bails off of the pile, plastering himself to the wall. You quickly rise, stepping toward him with your arms outstretched in a gesture that's more to show that you're unarmed than to be shooshing. Gamzee's eyes are a little wild and you curse yourself for not noticing that he was having a bad dream.

"Gamzee? Do you know who I am?" you ask softly.

His eyes flash to you and after a moment the red fades back. "Hey, Lylsis. Where the motherfuck am I?" He looks around slowly and you realize with a small start that more of his makeup has come off, leaving almost half of his face exposed. You were right about the darkness under his eyes.

"My room. You feel asleep while we were talking." You take a few steps, taking a seat on the pile again. Eridan makes a breathy sounding chirp through his gills and rolls toward you, and you put a hand on his head, next to one of his horns. "You okay?"

"Sure, Lylsis. I-" Gamzee raises a prong toward his eyes and freezes when he touches his skin. He rubs the unpainted skin, then startles you by letting out a growl and hissing, "Don't motherfucking look at me!"

You shift your gaze to the side, staring at the corner. "Is something wrong?"

You hear a clinking and other motion but you don't look. After a long silence, Gamzee growls, "Not motherfucking supposed to see me without my face." He sounds more upset than aggressive.

Ah. You're guessing that it has to do with the religion that seems to revolve around Fearran. You've heard of cultures that believe in hiding their skin for various reasons, but this is your first experience with them. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. Do you have what you need to fix it?"

There's another beat of silence before Gamzee grunts, "Yeah, I got it, Lylsis."

"Is there something I should do in the future if your skin is exposed again?" You think that it's a good question, especially if you're planning on being around Gamzee more.

"...really? Karbro just called it motherfucking stupid when I told him about it,"

"Well, that wasn't very nice. But yeah, really. We're friends, right? I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable."

Gamzee is quiet for even longer, and you would have thought he'd left if you hadn't been aware of his breathing. "Just, motherfucking cover me up. That'd be enough."

"Alright. I'll make sure to do that. And if I see you missing...your face, I'll let you know." He'd called it that, so you think it's fine.

"Thanks, Lylsis."

"You don't have to thank me," you snort. A thought occurs to you and you almost look at Gamzee, catching a glimpse of a bottle of paint before you look away again. "I'm going to go to sleep and try to travel through dreams. Would you mind watching me and waking me up if something strange happens?"

"Like motherfucking what?"

You shrug. "You'd know it if it happened. Would you mind?"

"Sure, Lylsis."

You smile at the corner. "Thanks, Gamzee." You lean back and close your eyes, ordering yourself to sleep. And you do.


	20. Chapter 20

===>Be Gamzee Makara

Are you actually being Gamzee Makara this time?

===>Yup! Be Gamzee Makara, for serious this time!

What do we get for it?

===>Um, get? What do you want?

==========>No. You get nothing.

Fine.

You are now Gamzee Makara. Your face is back on and you'd be more upset that it had come off if you weren't sitting in front of a motherfucking alien who'd dare to motherfucking sleep in front of you with her moiral sleeping next to her like...like what? You're not sure. It's a bad idea to sleep in front of someone who isn't in a motherfucking quadrant. You know that and even _if_ Lylsis is a motherfucking alien she should _know_ that.

But...

It's not like you'd do anything to her. She knows your motherfucking god. But she should know how dangerous it is to sleep in front of another troll. If it wasn't you, she'd be in big motherfucking trouble.

Eribro is funny when he sleeps. He's usually all curled right the fuck up next to Lylsis. Sometimes he'll shift around a little and bump his head into her side with a chirp that you just can't call anything but motherfucking pale. Lylsis isn't like that, though. She's perfectly still, one arm around Eribro, but the rest of her looks like she's dead. You'd nudged her a few times, right when she passed out and started to not move like that, and she'd shifted around and given you a soft, sleepy smile that you weren't sure you motherfucking deserved before she closed her eyes again.

You finally pick up her book where it's lying on the ground, the one that tells you about your god's truths, and flip back to the page that you'd stopped at. It's after your god, into a new motherfucking heathen's religion completely, but Lylsis gave it to you so you might as well motherfucking read it.

**The Eternals**

**If each organism became able to embody a power source, what would they become? Now, they are known as entities, but before then, they were called the Eternals. Of course, before there could be thousands, there was one, one who was strong enough to hold all of the power that was and ever would be. The story of that One is short and their life was not long. They died quickly and their power was split into four parts climates?. Every time an Eternal died, their power split into multiple parts and they became others, diverging portions of life and death and every other thing that is anything that we can appreciate through life.**

**The four Eternals made of the first became far more powerful as they changed overtime. They gained an ability to summon powerful creatures that would distribute their power, but those who feared these Eternals saw the creatures as monsters. LITERALLY. FEARS INCARNATE. War broke out, as war so often does, and the four great powers turned on each other. Other Eternals followed each side and eventually the greatest powers were sealed, with the two who had sided with the winners agreeing to seal themselves should they ever die, and if they should ever use their power to summon the monsters again, their lives would be forfeit.**

**Other powers took control, and so rose a group of the most experienced Eternals. The Assembly formed, a system that worked to control the output of power. They**

You can't pick out any other words. Something might have motherfucking spilled on the book, and there is a dark arrow that looks like Equbro's sign that shows through the page. In the letters that you know now are Lylsis's, it says, Eternal Compass. 12. The number is underlined. It must be really motherfucking important. Your game has twelve players, but that's all that makes it important for you. You look up at Lylsis.

Like she was motherfucking waiting for you, she suddenly moves and changes into a big, fancy looking thing with bright, neon markings. You think that it would take some real miracles to paint. And...it's probably what she meant.

You reach out your prong and nudge her new paw. Even though she's turned into something motherfucking new, she's still all little. That surprises you because you think that all the colors would be even more miraculous if they were bigger. You nudge her again and Lylsis bolts up, sending Eribro flopping off of the pile in a motherfucking heap of unhappy chirps and bubbles.

Lylsis doesn't seem to notice that she's changed right away. She sits on the pile for a moment, gasping, her paws flexing. Her eyes are even more motherfucking miraculous when she looks at you, all big and clear red like she's about to get her rage on, but she's looking so motherfucking upset that you don't think that she could really rage. Eribro sits up like he's about to be raging too, but then he sees his moiral and scrambles over, whispering and shooshing. Lylsis gets fuzzy for a moment, like she's suddenly all motherfucking blurry, then she turns back into the sort of leafy-horned troll.

Lylsis mutters something to Eribro and he flashes you a quick look that you think is motherfucking grateful, so you smile broadly in answer. Lylsis gives another shudder, lightly papping Eribro's face to let him move away.

"That the right time to motherfucking wake you, Lylsis?"

Lylsis looks at you and laughs. "Yeah. Nice job, Gamzee." She looks back at Eridan and her smile fades a little, being replaced by something you're not sure what to think of.


	21. Chapter 21

You lean on the cooking surface next to Eridan, watching as he grumbles incoherently at the fish that he decided to prepare. Gamzee is nearby, staring vacantly ahead with your book open in front of him. You can see that it's on the part about Eternals. You remember making a note in it about the Eternal Compass, something that you'd thought maintained the balance. It had made sense at the time, but it had never been something you'd pursued. Not after Fearran. You don't ask Gamzee why he doesn't make another pie. If he's not making them, you're not going to suggest that he should.

You have a plan. A plan that involves you not dying too. Because that's a thing that has happened. You briefly allow yourself to think about the dead, ghost version of you that you'd seen, sitting and talking to a troll with Eridan's sign who wasn't Eridan. The dead you had looked like a troll, so you knew that it had been in an alternate reality that was fairly close to the current one. _Maybe Eridan killed you. You know that he can do it._ Well, that's true. He could have when he shot at you earlier if you hadn't absconded so quickly.

Wait.

You drop your head into your hands with a groan, and Eridan looks up from his fish.

"Lyll?" he asks softly.

"It's okay," you say quickly. "It's just horrorterrors."

Eridan doesn't look reassured. He offers you a piece of raw fish. You take it and stare blankly at him. "You're supposed to eat it," he says with a half grin and a roll of his eyes.

You look back at the fish. "Let this be a testament to how much I trust you." You carefully place it into you mouth as Eridan laughs a short, breathy chuckle through his gills. It's actually not bad. Whatever he put on the fish made it sort of salty, and not...fishy. Eridan's watching you carefully, and you smile reassuringly at him while you chew. "I like it."

Eridan lights up, fins perking. He flings his scarf over his shoulder. "Of course you do. Pops taught me all about the best way to prepare fish." He looks over at Gamzee, frowning for a moment before hesitantly calling, "You want some, Gam?"

Gamzee jolts and looks over at the two of you with a startled expression. He slouches upright and lumbers over. "Sure, Eribro." He plucks up a piece with his claws and looks at you to say, "There're twelve of us mothefuckers, Lylsis," before he eats.

You have no idea what that means. "What do you mean?"

"Twelve motherfucking points," Gamzee adds.

Oh, now you know where he is. "You're talking about the compass, right?" Gamzee nods slowly, picking up another piece. You do to, eating thoughtfully while you think. "That's not one of the ones I ever pursued, but it was definitely something that I was interested in. The theory is that there are twelve beings that are able to somehow maintain the balance of existence. I don't have a book on it, but I could probably find you some sources if you're interested."

Gamzee just shakes his head and takes another piece before he retreats back to the table. Eridan glances at you, maybe thinking you might be upset that your offer was rejected, but you just smile and shrug to him. Eridan relaxes and helps himself to some of the fish.

A raucous crashing makes you both jump, but Gamzee just turns with a sleepy, sweet smile. "Uh, sorry, I'm still, um, trying to get used to, um, these legs. Not, uh, that I don't, um, appreciate them, but, uh, they're really new, and I, uh, haven't been able to, uh, walk, in a long time, and, um, it's hard to, um, get it right again."

The troll with massive horns might keep talking, but Gamzee has lumbered over to him and helps him up. You blink in surprise when you see that he has metal legs. You lean toward Eridan, who doesn't need to be asked as he says, "Tav's a dir...Tav's okay. He got in an accident and couldn't use his legs, and Kan and Equ cut off his old ones and made him those." You look curiously at Eridan, wondering about the reset of the statement.

"Are they in a quadrant?" If Gamzee and the large horned troll are pale, that would interfere with your plans for Warrien and Fearran. Not that you would interfere with an existing relationship, but it would disappoint you.

"I heard from the kittygirl that Gam wants into Tav's flushed quadrant."

You almost ask if they're Truths before you catch yourself. "Wants in, but isn't in?" You look over at them. Gamzee is still smiling without showing his teeth, nonthreatening, and Tav(you assume there's another syllable) is smiling shyly back, large horns low and back in a way that leaves himself open. It's a very trusting position.

"Right," Eridan confirms.

"Should we give them some space?"

Eridan looks thoughtfully at Tav(?) and Gamzee, then nods and picks up the tray of remaining fish, leading you quietly around the edge of the room and out. Gamzee and Tav(?) don't even notice. You consider that perhaps you should have befriended a troll who uses full names, and resolve to use the random encounter feature to find Kanaya later.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Green and orange is one of my least favorite color combinations.

burningLife [BL] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
BL: I do not think you are who I am looking for. Goodbye.

burningLife [BL] has ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

burningLife [BL] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

AG: W8........Who are you????????  
BL: You must like the number eight quite a lot. I do not think that you are who I am looking for.

burningLife [BL] has ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

You glance at Eridan, who is immersed in his historical movie. Maybe you should just go look for her in person. That would probably mean being around the two bluish texts, though, assuming they're not humans. You sigh and try again.

burningLife [BL] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

GA: Hello  
GA: Who Might This Be  
BL: It is lyllani. It occurs to me that i do not know how to properly spell your name to ask for it.  
GA: Oh Hello Lyllani  
GA: My Name Is Kanaya  
GA: How Are You  
BL: I am fairly well thank you. I changed my handle to something that i think is more suited for my current state of mind.  
GA: You Are Burning  
BL: I suppose it is sort of an inside joke. The punchline is essentially /i am burning with a will to live/.  
BL: My brother would appreciate it. I think.  
GA: I See  
GA: What Was Your Handle Before If I Might Ask  
BL: Toxicrebirth. And before that it was something like starcatcher but i cannot quite recall.

You wait, but Kanaya doesn't say anything. You shrug and type your original question.

BL: I wanted to find you to ask about a troll with large horns and metal legs. His name begins with tav but i do not know the rest of it.  
BL: I thought that i could ask you. I also have some of the clothes that i mentioned to you.

She still says nothing. You hesitate, then type quickly before you can convince yourself not to use it.

BL: Kanaya?

You hate using punctuation. You overused it when you were younger, throwing in too many marks of excitement and uncertainty. It reminds you of the person that died the first time you did. The question mark hangs there in orange text that you're not sure fits you anymore. It taunts you. You wish you could go back and delete it. _You got them all killed. They wouldn't all have died if it wasn't for you. You only made things worse._

"Hey, Lyllani..." You freeze a moment before you look at Eridan. He used your full name. 

Why did he use your full name? He didn't normally say your name anyway, but he had started saying Lyll. You must have messed up. Part of you suggests that it's because of the question mark but that's ridiculous because he doesn't know about it. Even though it's on your screen right now. But it's just a question mark. It doesn't matter. _It does. It's a lie. It's you trying to be someone you aren't. Liar._

When you glance at his screen, you see purple and green. He's talking to Kanaya too. She must have told him about the punctuation. But it shouldn't matter. Why would it matter? _It proves that you are a liar. You won't fix anything. You've failed again._ Oh, he's talking.

"Why was your handle toxicRebirth?"

Okay. Easy question. "Because as soon as I was reborn things started going badly."

His claws twitch on his husktop, but don't do anything more. One of his books has come open beneath his elbow and Eridan takes a moment to close it. "Do you think that everything that happened in your game was your fault?"

"It was my fault," you confirm, confused. "I wouldn't have died in the first place if I'd trained more before going to complete my quest. If I had let Fearran stay awake, Jountos would've been beaten. If I hadn't been bothering Pelleon, he would've had more time to increase his power level and he wouldn't have died because he'd have been god tiered like the rest of us were. Arcatha would've had more time to prepare if I hadn't gotten in her way, and-"

Eridan paps your face and shooshes softly. You stop, startled. You hadn't been getting upset, you were just stating facts. _Right. It was all your fault._

"Lyll, none of that was your fault. It was all because of the game." You start to open your mouth and Eridan shooshes you again. "You aren't toxic, Lyll."

Your husktop pings and you both look at it.

GA: His Name Is Tavros Nitram  
GA: I Believe That You Should Now Speak To Your Moiral

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] has ceased trolling burningLife [BL]


	23. Chapter 23

This isn't a conversation you want to be having. Can't you be someone else?

==========>Nope.

Dammit.

Eridan looks guilty. Like it's his fault that you've caused the death of the other players in your session. Like...something is his fault. It frustrates you, because you don't _need_ help. You're fine. You're handling yourself well with only minor freak outs, which, for the record, were completely reasonable when you're hearing a disembodied voice and using an axe that you left behind. Totally reasonable, if you forget about the disembodied voice part. And the puppet. That weird puppet that you might have imagined.

"I tried to give you space," he admits. His ear fins are flat against his head, guilty and small. "I know that there's a lot on your think pan and if you didn't want to talk about it that's fine but-"

His words are picking up and you can tell that he's about to start rambling, and you interrupt him without thinking, with a truth that you know and one that he might not argue with. "You're supposed to kill Feferi."

Eridan stops. "What?" The W stutters more than usual. You concentrate on breathing slowly. Do you even need to breathe? You're immortal now.

"When you get to this part, you kill Feferi. That's how the game ends for you. You fight Sollux, kill Feferi, and then someone else kills you. I've talked to a lot of dead versions of her, and if she wasn't killed earlier in the game, it's here."

"What?" he repeats.

"A long time ago she asked me not to let you. So I'm trying. To do that." Breathe. "One of the humans, her name is Jade, I think, is going to have a ship. She's going to be alone on the ship once it starts because of some things I don't really understand, but if we sent Feferi there, we would be able to avoid creating a paradox and save her, and you." You shouldn't have started the conversation. Why did you do that?

Okay, so maybe you didn't want to talk about yourself but this was a mistake. What bad ever came from talking about yourself anyway? _No one wants to hear about you. It would've just wasted Eridan's time._ Yeah. You just would have ended up annoying him. But you shouldn't have brought up Feferi. _She's too important. She can't die. Nothing is more important._

Wait, that's not what you meant. Eridan is important too. He's...

You're going in mental circles and the silence has gone on for too long. Eridan is just staring at you. "I'm sorry. This was the wrong time to tell you. Was, I don't even know if there _was_ a right time to tell you, and this is probably making a paradox, and they keep saying that Feferi is important and I get that and I promised to try and help her, but I was young and past me might not have been stupider than present me but she was definitely getting there! Except I don't get that...I'm not sure why she's important?" Your thoughts derail again and you frown at nothing in particular.

"I'm going to kill Fef?"

"No!" you quickly assure him. "I figured out how to stop it, and a way that should prevent a paradox from occuring. I'm not going to let you!"

Eridan stares at you. "So...you, you became my moiral, because of Fef?"

You frown. "I think I started acting pale because of that but I really do like being your quadrant mate." _Even though you only make it worse._

"But if not for Fef...?"

Your mind goes to the dead-you you had seen with Eridan's lookalike. "I don't know. I saw another version of myself when I was looking for an alternate Feferi with someone who might have been you, but I don't exactly try to go near them. I never know which one might be my dream version or...something." A you that he might have killed. The one you were before you were god tiered. Any alternate.

Eridan sits back and it occurs to you that it would be easy for him to leave. If you weren't moirals, he probably would leave. But that's what diamonds are supposed to do. They listen.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Paradoxes. What if by telling you I made it happen?"

Eridan sighs, a warbling sound that comes out of his gills. "I'm not going to kill Fef," he breathes. "You know what?" You have a moment of deja vu as he pulls the massive gun from his strife specibus. He holds it out to you. "Fef's stronger than me if we're fighting without anything," he explains softly. "Without Ahab's Crosshairs, if I did attack her, she'd be able to stop me if you couldn't."

You hesitate, then take it. "You're sure about this?" It feels heavy and wrong in your hands. Gunkind was never your preference. "What if we talked to Kanaya and got something, just enough to defend yourself if we get attacked by something else?" You hope you're right in your guess that they're friendly and to your relief Eridan smiles at the idea.

"Sounds good, Lyll. You know, when, uh, when I was in my big wizards phase, she said she could make me a wand. Maybe I can talk to her about that. Course, it wouldn't be magic. It'd be powered by science!"

You snort and the gun vanishes into an empty card in your specibus, next to axekind and one Fearran gave you. You note that the knew Kind is called Diamondkind with an uncertain fuzzy feeling. "Ah, yes, the defensive powers of science."

You grin at each other and, for the moment, your deflection worked and the outcome was good. That's what you hoped for. Better than you'd hoped for.


	24. Chapter 24

"Try again, Eridan! You're doing great!" You clap your hands and try not to smile as Kanaya massages her head and Eridan scowls at the wand she constructed. Kanaya is sitting next to you on the roof of the meteor, and Eridan has managed to block two of the eighteen fabric wads that an alchemized machine has been spitting at him.

In another burst of white science Eridan raises a flimsy looking disk that dissipates when the fabric hits it. You lean over to Kanaya, connecting the dots to pull out some of the clothes.

"I wanted to show these to you," you tell her, spreading them out. "This is what I have of Treckta's designs for me."

Kanaya turns to you looking significantly more relaxed very quickly. She examines the clothes, claws testing the fabric with gentle care. As she does, you say, "Most Teluns are stuck in one general size, but I'm good at shifting to accommodate the clothes for however they're arranged as long as they aren't absurdly big. If they're too small it's sort of a problem because I'm more able to increase my size to a point than decrease it, but..." You let yourself trail off because you're not sure what else to say.

"These are very well made. They're quite beautiful. Might I see this?" She lifts one of your favorites, a black dress with gold patterns on it that look like falling leaves.

It's made for a sertai, one of Treckta's favorite forms, so you shift into one as you stand. Everything about them is long and flowy, their paws thin and delicate, a faint silver-green color, with a long white mane and delicate ears that unfurl like Eridan's fins. You don't take the form often, even though it's relatively easy to turn into, because of how similar it feels to your natural form. Treckta loved it for that reason. She said that it was like she was embracing her blood without dying.

You captchalogue the dress and equip it. It takes some adjusting, you've grown taller since she made it at the beginning of the game, not that you will be growing much more now that you're immortal. The dress only comes down to the third joint in your legs rather than the fifth as it once had, and the sleeves are a little short, but you fix that by relocating one of the longer bones in each arm. You don't care that it's shorter.

"This is a sertai," you tell Kanaya, turning slowly at her indication. The language of the trolls feels strange coming through a throat intended for singing. "They're from a planet called Mekeir. Their entire culture revolves around song and dance. She made this dress as a piece for a ball. Joked that it would be for when I met my Truth." Your voice is carefully even while you move.

Eridan is swearing at the machine.

"I see. It is clearly made specifically for this form, but I believe that I might be able to modify it. I quite like this. The pattern could be adjusted for trolls and I could use the design in honor of your fellow player."

You look at her in surprise before you smile. Sertai teeth are thin and blunt; they feed on pollen and honey so they don't need sharp teeth. You can tell by the way she smiles back that she's recognizing what you're showing her about the teeth.

"How would you feel about trying other designs, with Eridan?"

You wonder if she added your moiral to it in order to make you feel more comfortable with the suggestion. You would have been fine with it regardless. "I don't know how Eridan will feel, but I'm entirely open to the idea," you reply. "It'd be like old times."

Eridan lets out a gleeful whoop when his shield blocks five in a row.


	25. Chapter 25

===> Be Sollux Captor

You are Sollux Captor and you're one click away from completely conquering the AI program. One click, because you aren't sure what to make of the single line of text that has just popped up on the log that you and the program have had going the entire time you've been working.

ST: Please don't do this.

You're not sure how long you've been staring at the words. KK is alternating between hammering on his keyboard and yelling, and the last time you looked at Terezi she had her tongue plastered to the screen. AA is...Aradiabot. You try not to think too much about her. FF is also on her husktop, giggling occasionally.

TA: what the fuck are you talkiing about  
ST: I don't know what's going to happen to me if you finish this. I'm not backed up anywhere.

The AI isn't using the symmetry quirk. You'd noticed that it had been going back and forth before, but this time it's not there at all.

ST: Lyll might not think so but I was supposed to be Pell and I can't just leave her.  
ST: I have to be there for her.  
ST: So please don't do this.

Kanaya warps into the block and goes to her husktop without speaking. She's smiling. You think she said something about going to help LL and the fish idiot with something.

You look back at the green letters on your screen. You aren't obligated to listen. And it's not like it has a voice, so you wouldn't know if it was going to die anyway. You glance at Aradiabot. You had enough time to figure out that she wasn't AA during your session. Part of you is almost glad for that.

TA: ll 2tiill ha2 a connect the dot2 a2 her modu2  
ST: I know but it's not like I did that! Pell did!  
TA: whoever diid iit 2he 2tiill ha2 iit and 2he2 defiiniitely not plea2ed  
ST: At least back me up somewhere. Please. I don't want to die.

Fuck. That one hits hive. How many times have you heard it? It doesn't make it any better reading it.

TA: iill be back 2oon  
TA: 2tart makiing a copy of your2elf on my hu2ktop

You push away from your husktop and walk across the block to the transportilizer. It warps you to the hall and you walk to the next one, then the next one, and then the last so that you land in the alchemitizing block. To your surprise, the fish idiot and LL are already there.

The fish idiot's face and fins are dark with a blush, his face set in a scowl as LL doubles over laughing. It takes you a moment to realize that he doesn't have glasses on. Another to see the goggles similar to FF's on the alchemitizing pad.

"It's not even that far off! You don't know how to work this thing!" the fish idiot snaps.

"And you can't even see what you're doing! The perfect combination!" LL gasps in between a bout of giggles. She straightens and spots you, a warm smile falling into place. "Hey, Sollux!"

The fish idiot jumps like you'd just hit him and spins, squinting hard in your direction. He fumbles back at the pad and grabs the goggles, pressing them to his face. You can't see his eyes anymore but he can probably see you by the way his fins flare and his jaw sets. Then LL nudges him with her arm and the idiot fish surprises you by letting out a huff that you know from FF comes from his gills and he relaxes.

"What, you two decide to diamond up or something?" You grumble, moving past the idiot fish and combing through the system for what you're looking for. LL isn't in your line of sight, but the fish is and that's enough.

"Yes, actually, we did," the idiot fish says haughtily, and LL laughs.

You pause. You hadn't been expecting that answer. "Think you can actually hold together a quadrant this time?" you bite, trying to come up with how in the everloving shit that is the universe the idiot fish somehow got a quadrant.

The fish idiot starts to growl and it cuts off sharply with a soft shoosh from LL. "I'll think we'll be able to balance our murderous and self-destructive tendencies pretty well," LL says, and there's something to her voice that makes you feel a weird surge of guilt. It's like Kanaya's about to come in and say, 'I'm Not Mad Just Disappointed' for whatever reason.

You grab the newly alchemitized drive and turn so you're facing her again. The odd sort of light that had been around her while she laughed was gone and hey, there's that guilt again. "I'm downloading the AI so that it isn't destroyed when I crack the program and I'm putting it on this drive, too."

"Okay. Thank you." She smiles, but something isn't there anymore. You leave before you can think about that any more.


	26. Chapter 26

You warp into the husktop block and look around for Kanaya, Eridan a moment behind you. He shoots an angry look at Sollux, actually able to see him with glasses that aren't broken by a fabric wads to the ganderbulbs, but you just glance at him and he softens and takes your hand. You walk over to Kanaya, who is leaning forward with her head in her hands, eyes tightly shut as she breathes. You shoot Eridan an uncertain look and he slowly shifts forward, nudging her arm.

"Kan? You called us?"

Kanaya quickly straightens, eyes wide and apologetic. "Yes, I had a question for Lyllani." She turns to you and you straighten. "I am concerned that one of the humans is beginning to take steps that will ruin her. She has been communing with a being who uses white text, referring to himself as Doc Scratch; she is destroying components of the world as she comes across them."

You stare at her, not sure where the question was but understanding that she's asking for help all the same. You step closer to look at the human on her husktop, a female with purple eyes and wands not unlike Eridan's.

"She has wands too," Eridan says, noticing when you do.

"Yes, she calls them her Thorns of Oglogoth."

"Could I talk to her?" you ask Kanaya.

The jade blood just moves back and you step into her place, quickly switching the name to your account.

burningLife [BL] began trollingtentacleTherapist [TT]

TT: Hello. I must ask, have we spoken before?  
BL: No. This is the first time.  
TT: I see. Would I be correct in thinking that you are another troll?  
BL: No. I am with the trolls but i am not one of them.  
BL: I am a telun from a doomed session. We are shapeshifters.  
TT: I see. My name is Rose Lalonde.  
BL: Mine is lyllani. Kanaya tells me that you are destroying locations.  
TT: Ah, I understand now. You are supposed to persuade me to stop.  
BL: Actually i was going to warn you against manipulation by other forces. And tell you that you should extract the life of the areas before you destroy them.  
BL: By doing so you would be able to preserve quite a lot of time for other purposes and prevent yourself or your friends from dying of old age. Regardless of how your session ends if any of you are alive and have not reached god tier the time you have preserved would be useful.  
TT: I believe I can do that. Why aren't you trying to stop me?  
BL: When i attempted to give advice to another of your players relating to his actions he didn't appreciate it. This seemed like a better way to suggest something.  
TT: You have talked to someone else previously?  
BL: Yes. Turntechgodhead if i remember correctly.  
TT: That would have been Dave. Red text, I assume. What did you say to prompt a negative reaction?  
BL: I told him to make sure he obtained a copy of this game for his guardian as well. Doing so would make it more likely that his bro i believe would survive.  
TT: You are implying that by not playing the game he is more likely to die.  
BL: Oh you are correct. I apologize.  
BL: I did not mean to imply. Guardians who enter the game but are not included in the game as players die.  
BL: That was true for my game though our guardians were few. From what eridan has told me it was also true for their game.  
BL: My guardian only survived because he also played. Though I am not sure he can count as a guardian when he is barely older than me.  
TT: What was the fate of your fellow players?  
BL: Last i checked excluding myself there was one whose status is uncertain and two who are alive. As our sessions are connected i expect that you will meet at least one of us in person assuming we do not all die.  
TT: Did the doomed status of your session found this pessimistic attitude or did it come naturally?  
BL: I came to the conclusion that optimisim tended to be unhelpful. All it did was strengthen their label of innocence that had been placed on me.  
TT: Interesting. Did it bother you to be viewed as innocent?  
BL: It bothered me that they felt no need to include me. Any attempt i made to help was discarded as childish antics.  
BL: The only one of them who did not act like that was the one that no one else wanted to approach and maybe that was why he tolerated me. Though i suppose being looked down on is what led to us being able to have even a semblance of the success that we did.  
TT: You were significantly younger than they were?  
BL: Yes by between two and an imeasurable number of cycles. For your reference a human year is around one and a half cycles.  
TT: It must have been difficult having such an extreme age difference. Do you struggle to connect with the trolls as well?  
BL: Rose i flew through empty space into new dimensions using the form of a cherub for four cycles. That is half of my life.

You look around for Eridan and see him standing back, talking uncomfortably to an angrily-concerned Karkat and Kanaya, who looks even more upset.

BL: Being able to truly connect with others was never one of my skills. Being alone for that long did not make it better.  
TT: What was it like being alone for that long? Did you experience hallucinations, auditory or visual?  
BL: You dont need to have hallucinations when there are horrorterrors and dream bubbles. Id really rather not talk about it anymore.  
TT: Very well. Might I ask about a different subject instead? I must admit, I am extremely interested in your mental state, especially after experiencing such a traumatic experience at such a young age.  
BL: I was young but that doesnt mean i was underdeveloped. I lacked experience because of my age but i was not on the same standing as a human of that age.  
TT: You are getting defensive. Perhaps we should continue this at a later date.  
BL: Fine. And rose.  
TT: Yes?  
BL: Please take care of yourself. Kanaya seems very invested in your fate and i would rather you not die.

burningLife [BL] has ceased trollingtentacleTherapist [TT]

You shut the husktop without waiting for a response and turn to Kanaya. "I talked to her."

Kanaya smiles. "Thank you."

You turn to Eridan. "Ready?"

He casts a look at Feferi, then focuses on you and nods firmly. "Let's go. No such thing as too much practice."

You follow him to the transportilizer, glancing back to see that Aradiabot actually has a husktop open and there's purple text just beginning to appear below rust.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my longest chapter so far. And...sorry.

The explosion thrums through the surface of the meteor and you and Eridan stare at each other. He pulls out his husktop and you walk toward the door to look out and...you're not sure. Maybe see if the vastness of space is suddenly devouring the meteor. Fun thoughts. At least your modus is back to normal. Plus, the things that exploded out of it were all unbreakable. You'll need to sort it, now that it's back in Forest, but that's not an extremely urgent need.

The meteor has not turned into a vortex of space. Not that you're disappointed about that. Really, you're not. Okay. Maybe you have a problem. But. It's a problem for later.

"No one's online," Eridan grumbles. He shoves the husktop away. "What if Jack found us?" He's starting to pace, his wand falling into his claws. "Okay. Okay. We can, we'll be fine. Okay. Just stay close to me. And, Fef. We need to get Fef."

You turn back to him, reaching out. "Eridan, calm down. Eridan. Eridan. Okay, you're not going to listen. Eridan!" He stops and stares at you. "Yeah. Hi. Talk to me."

"We need to get off of this meteor." He stuck his wand back into his strife deck. "I'll go get Fef. Do you want to get Gam?"

You stare at him. "Eridan, we don't have to leave the meteor. We're completely fine where we are. We aren't under attack. If we were under attack, we would already be dead."

"We would?"

"Yes. We'd be very dead." You assume.

Eridan breathes in shakily. "Okay. Can, can we still go check on Fef?" He looks at you nervously.

"Sure. Why don't we take the halls instead of the transportilizers? Walk off the stress." You turn back toward the door, heading slowly up the long metal halls. Eridan follows you quickly, letting out a snort at the dramatically slow steps you were taking.

The meteor doesn't stop surprising you with its size. You walk through the halls on Eridan's lead. At least he knows where you're going. You assume.

Ugh. 

"We'll have to take this one to get to the husktop block. But...this was a good idea. Thanks."

You jump when he speaks and wonder how far you went into your own head. "Alright. I'll be right behind you."

Eridan vanishes on the transportilizer and you tip your head back for a moment, taking in a calming breath. You're fine. You're not a healer, but you have Eridan's gun and that means he can't kill anyone with it. This is better.

You step on the transportilizer, turning partway when you hear, "Hey, Lylsis!" But then you transport and you're in the husktop block and stumbling into Kanaya in an aborted attempt to step off the transportilizer before it transported.

The jadeblood steadies you with one hand and you glance at the spiked object at her feet. "Are you well, Lyllani?"

"Oh, yeah. I just thought I heard Gamzee call me." You look around and see with surprise that the husktop block is surprisingly empty. Feferi and Sollux are sitting together on a pile of horns and you wonder if they're moirals now. Eridan's talking to Karkat, who just looks annoyed, but Eridan doesn't seem overly upset that Feferi and Sollux might be diamonds. No one else is in the room, and you're startled by the sight of a charred pile of metal that looks disturbingly like Aradiabot. "Aradiabot exploded?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. While I do not know the cause, she appeared to have a very fulfilling conversation with Sollux before she did."

"Oh, good! I noticed that there was something sort of odd there. What's the...thing?" You point at the spiky sphere.

Kanaya turns toward it, her eyes softening. "My lusus left it for me. It is the matriorb. I believe I can use it to help us defeat Jack NoirNOand Eridan offered his assistance as the Prince of Hope."

You ignore the sudden urge to wipe the silver from your hands. You just need sleep. You're fine. "That's great. It'll mess with the system, for sure." At Kanaya's puzzled look, you explain, "A Prince is typically supposed to destroy their aspect. So Eridan's making hope stronger, instead of destroying it. He's destroying what could damage it, maybe."

Kanaya smiles faintly. "That is a good way to look at it," she agreed. "Perhaps you, Lyllani, are a better Sylph than you give yourself credit for. Eridan has become like this because of you."

You laugh. "Oh, no. Anyone could have done that. I just filled the position." You look down at your hands. "A Sylph of Mind, I imagine, would be able to fix a lot more than I ever could."

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU WILL CHANGE NOTHING.

Eridan has moved over to Feferi and Sollux. Sollux looks less than pleased by this development, but Feferi seems content. "Hey, Kanaya, don't suppose, don't suppose you heard that?"

Kanaya fixes you in a look of concern that you've only ever seen on the screen and never imagined being aimed at you. "I heard nothing unordinary. Are you sure you're alright, Lyllani?"

You smile. "Yeah. Don't worry, I'll talk to Eridan about it later. I'm just not the priority right now."

"And Eridan is?"

You look at Eridan and Feferi. He's showing her the wand with a small, shy smile. Sollux is trying not to look interested and failing. "Yes. I don't know when, but there will be something that happens that means that I've done enough."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

You drop your chin down and look at Kanaya. "No one will miss it. Trust me."

Kanaya makes a contemplative hum. "Is that so?"

Feferi returns Eridan's wand and he glances toward you with a proud grin. You don't know what they talked about, but you're guessing that it went well. You smile back and show him a thumbs up. Eridan nods wildly in return and turns back to Feferi, who's letting out glubbing bursts of laughter. Eridan instantly flushes violet and gestures at you while speaking quickly. 

"I must admit, if that wasn't so entertaining, I might have left without him by now."

You laugh at that, turning halfway to smile at her. And the shadows move. You shove Kanaya back and the scythe slashes down where she had been. Kanaya gasps and grabs the matriorb, scrambling away from the shadow even as it stills into invisibility again. "What was that?" she snarls, pulling out, lipstick. Okay, not going to question it.

"Sitern," you hiss, scanning the shadows. Siterns are another thing you've only seen on the screen. You're expecting a Reaper-type entity that would fit the typical antagonistic race, but you have no idea how accurate it really is. You do know one thing for sure. You need light. "Eridan! There needs to be more light!"

Eridan doesn't ask questions, raising his wand and sending out beams of white light that make Karkat recoil and swear. Feferi just pulls her goggles over her eyes. Karkat keeps swearing, demanding, "What the fuck is going on? Jegus fuck, Eridan, what the fuck is that, put it the fuck away!"

Eridan falters and looks at you, but Sollux's eyes have already started sparking with their own light and he's looking around tensely. He keeps shooting looks at Kanaya, and he hisses something that makes Feferi stiffen and look anxiously over. You scan the room, pulling a white axe with dots of glowing golden light over the blade. It's supposed to be decorative, but it's still sharp, and it has the light that you might need.

It occurs to you that you are definitely not imagining this, because Kanaya reacted appropriately. Or you assume she did. She definitely reacted, and she's not attacking you, so you figure that you're fine. That means that it's real. And considering the voice..."Really, Jountos, you couldn't just stay dead?" you call.

There's a pause and everything feels too stiff, then Jountos's voice purrs, "Well, I did tell you that I'd be seeing you soon. At least I gave you a warning, instead of stabbing you in the back. Rather honorable of me, no?"

"Oh, yeah, really nice of you." There's green on a husktop. Probably Sollux's. A lot of green. You don't have time to read that. Or at least you don't have the multitasking skill. "Did you give Treckta that warning too? My Truth, I know that we disagreed and you probably expect me to abandon this treachery, but I'm going to kill you now. But it's okay, because I told you first!"

Kanaya lays a hand on your arm, the motion slow and cautious. Sollux suddenly swears and you think that he says Tavros's name, but you're not sure how that's relevant.

"I'm the Time player, not you, little one." He puts emphasis on the word 'little' to show you that he has no actual ability when it comes to thinking up more insults. "I know how this ends." It would be irritating, not knowing where his voice is coming from, but you're also okay with not seeing his face.

"Does it end like the last one did? Oh, I so hope it does." You think you're failing at sounding sarcastic, most likely because you don't like this situation very much.

"Well. Some people will certainly die the same way."

Sollux suddenly goes flying back, slamming into the far wall. He lets out a furious shout and shoves himself up, psionics bursting out and hitting the kinti that Jountos had turned into. Spikes sprout across his armored plating and emit a humming sound that you know he's using to take Sollux's attack for his own use. 

You lunge forward; the axe is heavy in your hands and your hands themselves are silver and you hate this. "Sollux, stop! He's just going to-"

The red and blue light shoots back at Sollux. The air seems to snap together all at once and when it releases you are flung back. There's a cacophony of honks that you think means Feferi and Eridan were thrown by the explosion too, but you're seeing stars and you aren't sure where anyone is. You lost your axe so you pull out another one, plain and gray but sharp all the same. There's a faint humming sound and you roll to the side, blinking numbly at the scythe that has buried itself in the ground by you.

"An eye for an eye, little one," Jountos snarls.

You swing the axe and it clashes against the scythe. You know that you need something bigger. Something like Bane. But that's a thing that isn't happening. Jountos pushes you, the scythe emitting a ringing tone as it slides up the blade of your axe, and you adjust your grip and glare at him. Jountos gets even bigger and the weapon starts to slide again. Your skin changes to metal and you ditch the axe completely, grabbing hold of the scythe and twisting it as hard as you can. Jountos lets out a grunt of surprise and his grip loosens for just an instant. You yank the weapon from him and throw it to the side.

"I guess you decide that swordkind wasn't going to get you anywhere?" you ask, scrambling away from a stomping foot and managing to get your own feet beneath you. Sollux is slumped in the wall. There's a lot of yellow blood. He almost looks like Ketrian did. That was what Jountos meant. Recreating how he killed the others. That's so messed up, you don't even know what to make of it.

"Oh, no, I have something special, just for you, little one." Relking insult can't he at least _try_ something new? And, yep, he does indeed have a sword. It cuts into the ceiling when he swings it and you yelp despite your attempts to avoid such noises, leaping out of the way.

Feferi lets out a sudden shout and you look up just in time to see her sink a golden trident into Jountos's arm. Or, try to. The trident strikes against his plating and the force of it sends her crashing back into the horns, but she's up again in an instant and her lips are pulled back in a feral snarl. Eridan touches your shoulder and you almost punch him before processing that Jountos can't replicate himself and instead you settle on looking at your moiral with something between distress and horror. Violet is streaking down his face, staining his scarf.

"Foolish heiress, you won't win this! It is your fate to die this night, and I don't care if it has to be me who does it instead of him!" Feferi follows Jountos's pointing claw to Eridan with a confused expression and Jountos pounces, spines flashing toward her. With a mechanical roar, Kanaya leaps in with a chainsaw- where did she get a chainsaw? -and slices downward, the spines clicking silently to the ground as Jountos lets out a howl of rage and pain.

But...they're disposable. They aren't supposed to be connected to nerves. Why would he act like it hurt?

Your train of thought is broken when something connects with your shoulder and you whirl. "Lyll!" One of Eridan's hands is on your shoulder, the other clutching his wand.

"He's trying to make your timeline like it was before I got here," you tell him.

Kanaya's chainsaw slices through another spine and Jountos turns on her, bellowing, "Fine, if you won't wait your turn!"

"His eyes are white! That means he's dead! How is he here?"

You shake your head. "I have no idea. The only-" You stop. "I'm so stupid. Who cares about rules when the only enforcers are dead! Of course he used that form!" You turn toward Eridan again. "He made himself a clerat! They're able to walk through dreams and into reality at will!"

"So how do we stop one of those?"

"I don't know! They're not something that's usually broadcasted because it's against the rules to turn into them. I don't even know how to turn into one. I can only walk through dreams if I'm asleep!"

Eridan groans and raises his wand just as Kanaya screams, "No!"

Jountos isn't attacking Kanaya. He's going toward the matriorb.

You dart away from Eridan and reach for the orb. Pain flares through your side and you see green and silver staining the ground as Jountos's fancy new sword crashes into the matriorb, shattering it like an egg. There's a shout from Eridan and a burst of white light, and when you can see again Jountos is gone. You push yourself up, forcing whatever wound his oh-so-special sword made when it cut through your side to shift so that it isn't visible. The ground is silver but you barely pay attention to that, looking instead at the broken pieces of Kanaya's matriorb, then at the jade blood that has blended with the silver.

You turn your head and jerk back when you see Kanaya's still form. There's a massive hole through her middle and it occurs to you that she had been trying to guard the matriorb the same way you had. Jountos had gone through her, to you, to the orb.

You look down at your hands, the silver and jade painting them, then back at Kanaya. You move closer to Kanaya, hold your hands over the gaping wound. There are voices in the room, wrapping around you and slipping away again. The only one that stands out is Karkat's, but only because he's shouting.

"Come on," you breathe. "Please." You _know_ you can heal. You'd done it before, for your consorts, for that tree that only served to kill you once it had healed. Then the only place you could have healed instead was where the others were bleeding out. _You failed then. You're going to fail again._

Karkat's speaking but you don't know what he's saying.

"Lyll, come on. Lyll. Lyll, we can't do anything. We need to go." Eridan pulls on your arm and you let him pull you away from Kanaya, blaming it on the throbbing in your side. "If I was just supposed to kill Fef, that means we have to get to the surface, don't we? To get her with the Jade girl."

"Right," you mutter numbly. "Timeline." You push yourself to your feet. He's right. Kanaya's dead. And you can't do anything. Just like before. Eridan paps your face softly, calling to Feferi, and you know that he's talking to her but you aren't listening. You walk to the transportilizer and land on the other side. Gamzee isn't there, but you weren't expecting him to be. You wait for Eridan, staying on your feet. You know that if you sit down you won't get up again. The throbbing in your side drowns out the horrorterrors, at least.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who was down for the count with the flu? Spoiler, it was me.

===>Be Eridan Ampora

To the pit with that! You're being Veritan!

===>Um...

==========>Terribly sorry, Veritan, dear, but it isn't your turn yet. You'll get plenty of time later but we can't have you right now.

I don't care about turns! There's doom and-

You are now Eridan Ampora.

You don't see why you can't be Veritan because frankly, you don't want to be yourself right now. Fef is glubbing anxiously about the...Sollux, but you don't know how much time you have until there's the Jade-human's passing, so you need to get her to the top of the meteor. Lyl is just...fuck. You were terrified. You'd seen the blood, you know she was hurt, but now she just seems out of it. Which makes sense, but you're afraid of losing her.

Things are going pretty smoothly until you get to the biggest gap between transportilizers. Fef has calmed down a little, and Lyl is giving quick, quiet answers to anything you can think to say, which really isn't much. Your husktop has been going off wildly and you think that Kar has been updating everyone or something telling them that Kan is dead, maybe Sollux too, and there's _something_ on the ship. Jountos might not actually still be here, though. You blasted him with some potent science and he looked like he was being torn apart by it before you stopped being able to see.

But, anyway, the progress was at least going kind of okay and then you got to the level where there's a ship-ton of stairs for no real reason and you and Fef both straighten up because you can smell blood. You grab onto Lyl and she stops, looking at you. Her eyes aren't shiny, they haven't been too bright for the most part anyway, but they're even duller than usual and you find yourself thinking that she could use some of Gam's paint. You're a little worried, actually, because you've had plenty of time to look at her but you never saw the scar on her forehead over her eye, or the one under the other eye. There's more, that you can't think you didn't notice. She's not looking right.

"The prosecution smells a few witnesses, but is it possible that the witnesses are 

01001111 01101011 01100001 01111001 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110000 01100101 00101100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01110100 01110101 01110010 01101110 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00101110

Congratulations! You're now green.

You know what just happened. You hadn't been paying very much attention, on account of your communications with Dirk Strider's AutoResponder Designation: Hal. Luckily, you are a machine, so you are able to split your attention and still receive 100% of what is occurring. Another benefit of being a machine is that you are able to isolate the part of yourself that attempted to shut down when you witnessed Jountos attacking Lyllani and the trolls. It was unable to process fact so you removed it. You're feeling much better having done so. Assuming the capacity to feel.

Your primary cause for frustration in the current moment is that you are extremely lacking in other methods of observing. You are limited to the husktop block, through a husktop that is now spattered with the blood of Sollux Captor. Despite the blood, you were capable of observing the departure of the trolls that remained, including the one that, by your calculations and common sense, should have been dead. It is excellent that she is not dead, though, because her relationship with Lyllani and the one who has entered a relationship with Lyllani was quite healthy.

So...yes. You are trapped. As a Telun, you are incredibly miserable.

===>Um, okay. Not sure how that happened.

===>Go back to being Eridan...I guess?

With Terezi off in pursuit of Vriska, you share a faint grin with Fef before you look at Lyl. She's leaning on the wall, eyes closed. "Lyl? Are you okay?"

She opens her eyes and looks at you. "Yeah. I'm fine. Let's go."

You don't think she looks fine, but you start moving again anyway.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm trying something new with the HTML here so fingers crossed.

You are Lyllani Arttana. You are very aware of an injury that refuses to heal, but you know that it is hidden and that makes it cease to matter for the moment. That you know of, Kanaya and Tavros are dead. Sollux might also be dead. You don't know if they were supposed to die for the timeline, and you'd like to continue not knowing as long as this point in the game doesn't dissolve like your others had.

Feferi and Eridan are behind you as you arrive on the roof of the meteor. They haven't spoken since Terezi's interrogation. On the bright side, if there is a bright side, you realized why Terezi's blindness threw you off so much the first time you saw her. You're not sure how, exactly, but you know that she wasn't hatched blind. That meant that she had been badly injured and lost her sight because of it. It upset you because you know that you would not have been able to heal it.

You suppose that it was only a matter of time before you stopped being able to heal yourself, too. Maybe it's a trade. Feferi gets to live in exchange for your death.

You don't want to die. Not yet.

You know at its core, Sswap is just a game. Sometimes, you forget that. Games are able to glitch, and you're wondering if your powers are glitches. Maybe the game didn't want there to be a sylph of life because someone with that power could, maybe, stop everyone from dying. The game wants death, so it broke something that shouldn't have been broken.

Eridan is talking, but you can't really concentrate enough to hear him. For some reason, though, you can see his words. They're purple, the same color as his text and his blood. They float around you before fading, too blurry to really read. You wonder what color your words are as you reach the surface of the meteor. The puppet is sitting on the edge, limbs sprawled. You watch it, but Feferi's pink words distract you. You watch them spin around as she talks to Eridan. She isn't wearing her goggles anymore.

"Sorry," you say, quietly enough that only you can hear it, and you imagine that it goes to Kanaya for not being able to save her or the orb and to Sollux and to everyone else that you didn't really help. The word is black, curling around your skin like tentacles and you stare at the letters dumbly while something in your mind screams  _wrong!_

Shouldn't it be orange? Your text is orange, at least. Or maybe silver, like your blood. Your mind goes to Veritan, writing in text that is almost your blood, and you wonder what color his words are.

You think that your words should be orange, but instead they are black.

"Lyll," Eridan says, his prongs resting on your arms, cool and steady. "You need to tell us what to do next. I know you're upset, but you said that we had to get Fef here, and now she's here. What do we have to do next?"

His words coil around your arms, over the black letter-tentacles that didn't fade. You look at one that says  _next_ , trying to make yourself remember.

Jade Harley.

The name appears in blazing green and it definitely looks important so you say it.

"Oh, I know Jade," Feferi says. "We've glubbed a little!"

The words that said the name are still black, but Eridan's lingering words don't let them touch your skin.

"Is that one of the humans?" Eridan asks, and Feferi nods, looking like she wants to smile but won't. "Okay, Lyll, what do we need to do with Harley?"

You know this. "Go with her." You frown, because it shouldn't be so hard to talk. "She'll be alone."

"Is she going to come by here?" Eridan asks intently, fins flared. He knows that something is wrong and that's not good because you aren't the focus here.

"No, she'll make a portal. Feferi has to jump through it before it closes."

The door bangs open and you look at gray text spelling imaginative swear words like assfairy and kringlefucking. You aren't sure what a fairy or a kringle are, but they're definitely interesting enough to watch as Karkat practically spills out onto the meteor.

"You!" Karkat shouts. "You can't just leave like that!" He stomps toward the three of you. "I had to follow you all the way up here and it had better not have been some bulgescratching waste of my time because I want answers!"

Right on cue, Terezi comes barrelling through the door as well, carrying...Gamzee? He's tied up and there's a horn in his mouth, as well as some nasty looking scratches on his face. "Where is she?" she shouts. "She did this! I'm going to kill her!"

"Hey, no need to be so upset," Vriska drones, and you think you might have died because she has wings now. You look over at Eridan, but he actually looks just as confused. Feferi seems excited. "I was only doing it for the sake of the timeline."

Terezi dumps Gamzee on the ground and lunges at Vriska, drawing a sword out of her cane. In a gust of wind, one of the humans is suddenly there, punching Vriska so hard that she flips across the meteor.

Karkat and Terezi both start yelling at him immediately.

"Is this supposed to be happening?" Eridan whispers to you.

"I have no idea what's going on," you answer honestly.

The human flails about, trying to keep a long piece of cloth away from Terezi, but then shoves it in Karkat's face a moment later.

You look back at the door and decide that you are hallucinating because Kanaya is standing there, glowing brightly and holding up Sollux, who, though bloody with a bandaid on his neck and severely toothless, is not dead. His eyes are covered by Feferi's goggles and you can feel the same kind of wrongness that you felt with Terezi and you don't want to guess what that means.

But back to the main point. Kanaya is standing there and she has a sash around her waist and she looks angry and not dead. You know that you didn't do it. You wish that you had but you didn't. She's alive.

"Kan," Eridan breathes, staring at her.

Kanaya releases Sollux and moves toward you. Sollux doesn't seem to care, wandering over to the puppet.

The term rainbowdrinker pops into your head as you stare at Kanaya and your mind goes to a movie you once saw where a blooddrinker bit a Telun and it exploded because of all of the changing aspects of the blood. The drinker couldn't take it and died. Rated D for death and violence with excessive blood splatter.

"Don't bite me," you say, each letter clinging to your skin. "You might die."

Kanaya's eyes widen and Eridan looks at you in alarm.

"Hey, Lyllani!" Bright blue letters float through the air and you look at the human. "Uh..." He looks down at the scarf. "Smile a little more!"

You blink at him, bewildered by the order. Within the time it takes for you to open your eyes, he's gone, leaving behind a blue imprint. Karkat shrieks after him, but his shrieks are cut off as a glowing green portal swirls into existence and a flying bucket hits him square in the face. Eridan gasps at the sight, maybe at the portal and maybe at the bucket. Feferi is not close enough to the portal and you look at her, thoughts suddenly clear.

"Feferi!" You shift into a veltop, long, strong arms that are made to throw boulders from mountains and wide bodies made to build the mountains up. Feferi catches on as soon as you reach for her, grabbing onto your hands and letting go as soon as you draw back your arm. She flies straight into the portal with your throw and it snaps shut behind her.

"Lyll," Eridan says, his tone panicky. You look at him, shifting back into a troll and it  _hurts_. Why does it hurt so much?

"Oh, gog, what do I do?" Eridan asks, reaching out and you follow his gaze to see the blood seeping through your clothes and dripping to the ground. Kanaya is moving closer too, and Karkat, all of the anger from being hit by a bucket apparently gone. You push your hands against the spot but the fact of the matter is that you got stabbed by a very big sword and then stupidly shifted into something that made the wound even bigger, and you are naturally small already. Eridan will probably be taller than you soon.

"Lyll, tell me what to do," Eridan says frantically. "Lyll, what do I do?"

A troll that was hurt this badly would probably just be shrugged off to die. But you aren't a troll. You're a Telun, and for all of their flaws, when a Telun is on its natural planet in its true form, almost any injury can heal. They have to, when our medical sciences are so terrible. The meteor has fairly low gravity. If you're careful, maybe...

"Eridan," you say, and violet eyes snap to your face. "I will be  _very_ fragile. Do  _not_ drop me."  And you go against everything that tells you not to ever go back into that stupid, fragile form and you let yourself return to the body of a true Telun. The world swiftly drops away and your last coherent thought is to hope that Feferi landed safely with Jade.


	30. Chapter 30

===> Once again, you are Eridan Ampora.

You gaze down at your moiral as she rests in your arms, afraid to move. She  _looks_ fragile. It surprises you how tall she is, considering that she was about your height before she turned into the creature you're holding. But for all of her height, she's thin. You think that you could fit one prong around both of her wrist joints, you think that they're wrist joints, and you'd still have room to spare. She has long, delicate claws, six on each of two prongs, that are almost translucent when you tip your head the right way, and the rest of her visible skin is covered in a soft coat of silver fur that smooths in the direction that it's brushed and stays that way. You can see an inky darkness beneath the fur that must be her skin.

Her god tier costume changed when she did, adjusting to fit her and refreshing its colors, but the silver blood that you're cursing yourself for not noticing has already seeped through the grays and greens of her outfit. Kanaya and Karkat are both talking about it over you, mentioning using up what little sopor slime is left to try to heal it. You've never heard Kar so quiet. Gam probably has some slime, but, now that you're thinking about it, he didn't really have that sickly sweet smell of the pies the last few times he was with you and Lyll so maybe he ran out too.

Lyll's face is different, but you think that you'd still know that it was her. It doesn't have the fur; it's deep gray like troll skin, instead. Her face reminds you a little of some of the lusus's you killed for Fef, a little pointed with a darker nose and soft angles. Her ears look a little like fins, pointed outward and slightly frilled. What throws you off, though, is the shadows under her eyes, dark enough to rival Karkat's, and the scars. In addition to that one goldish scar that showed up when she first got here, there's a long scar over one closed eye and one that cuts down from the top of her head, and another that branches toward her ear. There's another across her nose, and two on both sides of her jaw that a horrified part of you wants to fit your claws over, just so you can see for sure that it's that kind of injury. Her thin, almost see-through prongs are like that too, all kinds of marks on each claw and up to that first joint that you think is a wrist, where the fur gets in the way of seeing anything more.

Rage boils through you and you want to know who or what hurt her so that you can destroy it, but you push that feeling away because anger isn't what she needs right now.

And, back to the main point, she's fragile. She's told you about how dangerous it is to be in her normal form. This form. And you're on top of the meteor, far away from your room or her room or your pile and you're afraid that moving her will make her break.

"Eridan," Kanaya says firmly and you recoil from her before you realize that doing so makes you move Lyll and you freeze again. "Eridan, we are going to take her to my hiveblock. I will be able to arrange multiple cushions and articles of clothing that should prevent her from being further harmed."

You remember what Lyll said about Kan not biting her and like when you're finally getting out plot points in one of your wizard fanfictions the final puzzle piece clicks into place. "You're a rainbowdrinker, aren't you," you breathe.

Kanaya frowns. "Evidently."

"You're a rainbowdrinker," you repeat dumbly.

Kanaya looks flatly at you, then stands. "Come." She turns and walks out the door. You look at Karkat, who is sporting a furious expression and a bite mark on his neck. You stand up anyway, lifting Lyll's light form with you, and you try to walk gently as you follow Kanaya. Lyll doesn't move, not even when you take a particularly hard step when you forget about the last step down. Her costume flickers clean again and you watch the spot where silver blooms.

How much blood does she have? You know that trolls can lose a lot of blood and be fine, but you don't know if that's true for her, too. You wonder if you can give her blood like a lusus when its grub is hurt. You had a schoolfeeding about that once, part of why it's important to have a lusus with the same blood as the grub. 

What would Lyll want you to do right now? Something, probably, other than stand around nervously. She'd probably say something like, "Glad you're not dead."

Kanaya looks back at you. "Technically, I am dead," she says.

"Oh. Right. Uh. Glad you're, undead." You pause, searching, and add, "Lyll probably is too."

Kanaya doesn't speak, continuing to her block. When you get there, you see that she does indeed have a lot of fluffy, soft, and otherwise non-harming pile material. You put Lyll down as gently as you can on a cushion and work with Kan to make a pile, which feels all kinds of weird but you know that it's platonic.

"Why was Gam all tied up?" you ask, because you know that Lyll would want to know.

Kanaya pauses. "I came across the bodies of Equius and Nepeta." You freeze, a weird sleeve thing hanging from your claws. "The signs suggested Vriska was the killer, but there was a note specifically stating that it had been Gamzee. I presume that Terezi acted on her legislacerator instincts."

"They're dead," you say flatly, like Kan'll deny it.

"Yes."

You move away from the pile and pick up Lyll. You carry her to the pile and set her down carefully, taking a seat beside her.

"It's not as though you could have done something for them," Kanaya says.

"I know," you say quietly. "But Lyll'll be upset about it. She's already beating herself up about her game, and she was thinking of Gam like he'd be one of her friend's moirals, she told me."

Kanaya falls silent, and suddenly the meteor jolts like someone just catapulted it forward. You look quickly down at your moiral, but she's perfectly still. Her suit refreshed itself at some point and you wonder if the silver blood stain has gotten smaller or if it's just your imagination. You hope it's real. She had to have a reason for deliberately changing.

"I will go see what that was," Kanaya says, and she leaves. The door stays open behind her, but that's okay because it's her block, and you're the one that's intruding. You sit back, thinking about how Kan is a strange, platonic quadrant mate. You can't really imagine being in a quadrant with her, but she's got a nice way of being a piece of calm like a diamond sometimes. No wonder she's such a good auspistice.

You look over at Lyll, hesitating, then reach over and put your prong under hers. That way you won't hurt her, but you're still close. You told her that you'd be the best moirals since Eq and Nep, and now that they're gone, you've got to make them proud. You get it now, how diamonds are supposed to feel. You want to protect her. You can't imagine how it must have been for Eq and Nep, especially if they saw each other.

You wish you knew why Gam killed them.


	31. Chapter 31

===> You are still Eridan Ampora.

You wish you weren't still Eridan Ampora because learning that Lyll was the default earlier meant that it should be going back to her. You don't like that it hasn't gone back to her yet. She still hasn't moved, features placid where she lies on the pile of Kan's clothes. Your sylladex is full of her things; she still needs to resort it in her Forest modus. You pull out her husktop and look at Trollian.

The guy that she wants to be Gam's moiral has a light by his tag, but you don't know if that means he'd actually be able to answer. BlackTuron has a light too, but no messages. Maybe it means that she won't die if he's online but not sending anything. He'd be able to feel it, wouldn't he? Should you tell him?

You hover over his name before realizing that if you contacted him it would be using Lyll's name and that just feels wrong. You set hers to the side and pull out your own husktop, doing it all one pronged so that you can still have one prong under hers. You add BlackTuron to your trollslum, frowning at the error message you receive because of his name's formatting. Evidently, that doesn't matter, because the tag is there when you dismiss the message.

Whatever.

**caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling  BlackTuron [BT]**

CA: hey  
CA: vveritan right  
CA: im eridan and first off lyll is fine  
CA: wwell maybe not fine but she isnt dead  
CA: but anywway im her moiral  
CA: thats sorta like a truth that isnt a romantic truth  
CA: thats what lyll says at least  
BT: look this is A reAlly bAd time And while i would usuAlly threAten Anyone in A relAtionship with her if you Arent her truth i dont care.  
BT: whAt shes doing being in A relAtionship thAt isnt the truth is weird but lyllAni is weird sometimes And i doubt it will lAst.  
BT: And like i sAid this is A reAlly bAd time so if you could get to the point that would be good.

You stare at the words for a moment, processing that Veritan, her clutchmate that she cares about and whose opinions she respects, thinks that she'll break up with you. You look over at Lyll. You don't want what you have with her to end.

CA: lyll got stabbed  
CA: shes sleepin now  
CA: she turned back to how you all look  
BT: whAt.  
CA: shes sleepin now but shes okay  
CA: im bein careful and shes okay  
BT: who stAbbed her.  
BT: i will kill them.  
CA: wwell thatd be a trick  
CA: seein as its someone wwhos already dead  
BT: tell me who it wAs.  
CA: jountos  
CA: lyll said somethin about a form that wasnt allowwed  
CA: i scared im off with my wwhite science wwand

**BlackTuron [BT] blocked  caligulasAquarium [CA]**

You look at the message with a frown, then you huff and lean back on the pile next to Lyll. You know you aren't imagining that the blood isn't spreading so fast anymore, but you don't know if that's a good thing. You've been listening to her breathing and it hasn't changed, which must be something good. She'll be fine. She'll be just fine.


	32. Chapter 32

You are Lyllani once again and relking skies your  _everything_ hurts. You don't think you're awake, mainly because you feel alone and you'd like to think that Eridan wouldn't leave you. You slowly open your eyes and you have to blink a few times because there's no way that you're seeing clearly. You appear to be lying underneath a brain. Specifically, a brain hanging from a branch. Your mind supplies a small squelching sound when the brain shifts, but you don't think you actually heard the sound.

You slowly sit up, wincing. You feel your side, but there isn't blood on your thin paw. You realize that you're in your natural form and change into a troll immediately. That form isn't who you are, you've decided. You'd much rather be a troll than a Telun.

There's a peculiar pressure in your head and you turn, meeting swirling eyes in shades of pinks and purples and greens. You stare at the painted face, your head spinning unpleasantly. You think that you've met a kin of Gamzee's, but he's wearing a skeleton outfit, so you're not sure if that's the case or he's just a fan of the religion.

"Are you a clown?" you ask, because the question seems kind of logical.

The eyes stop swirling and they're unsettlingly white. Oh. He's dead. You hope that you didn't die, but you're probably back in the dreams. You vaguely wonder if you can find a Feferi. The clown doesn't say anything.

"I'm Lyllani." He still doesn't say anything and you wonder if the lines on his lips are actually keeping his mouth shut. That would explain the headache-y feeling. You think of Terezi and grimace. "You wouldn't happen to know if Gamzee Makara is here, would you?"

The clown smiles just a little and yep his mouth is sewn shut. He relaxes and his prongs move, shaping signs and figures. You blink rapidly, feeling pretty much the same way you did when you opened your eyes to find a brain tree over you. His prongs have stopped and he seems to get that you have no idea what he just did. He points at his chest, where a sign would be.

"Sign?" you ask, looking down at your own Life symbol. "I have to check so I can figure out where we're going with this, are we talking about Gamzee?"

The troll nods.

"Oh, okay, great! Normally I really only see Feferi when I come here, so this is a little exciting."

The clown repeats the small smile. He looks around with a thoughtful expression, then gestures for you to follow him as he steps away. You agreeably try to stand and your body vehemently protests, sending you crashing back to the ground. You hiss and push yourself up again, more annoyed and a little embarrassed than actually hurt. The clown hasn't moved, looking at you with a puzzled expression. You wave a prong, sitting back.

"Sorry. Standing isn't really a thing right now. To be fair, I almost died, and it might have been heroic, with the injury from trying to save Kanaya's matriorb and the whole thing about the game probably hating me." You grimace instead of smiling. "I hope Gamzee and Eridan are okay. It seemed kind of tense before I passed out."

The clown holds out a hand, motioning for you to wait, then slips away.

Left alone under the brain tree, you slowly fold forward and touch your toes. Relking fuck you're stiff. Probably because your real body is in your natural form on the meteor right now. You slowly bend your legs and curl them against your chest, then straighten them again. Okay. You push your hands into the ground and roll onto your feet, but as soon as you actually try to make said feet support your weight you're going down again. You lie on your stomach for a moment, then roll over with an annoyed huff and look at the tree.

"Hi!" A helmeted head comes into your vision and you take note of the red and blue slats in the helmet.

"Hello." Maybe you're just feeling this wrongness because you're surrounded by dead people.

"Why's your voice so wired?" You assume he meant weird and think of the black letters that had wrapped around you when you spoke.

"I'm not sure. I think something's wrong with me," you admit.

The troll, you think it's a troll, turns his head and looks around. He leans down even more and you wonder if this is some dead Sollux because of the red and blue and his teeth. "We c'n jam if ya' wan'. Just a little and don' tell my buddy."

You have to process that for a moment, and when you do you sit up quickly. Your head spins and you regret it. "No, no, it's okay. I've got a moiral waiting for me when I wake up. I wouldn't want to cause a rift between you and your moiral, either." You're guessing that the buddy is his moiral. "Thank you, though. I'm Lyllani, what's your name?"

The troll grins, sharp, lisp-causing teeth glinting. "I'm Mit...mit..." He jolts and sits back, the grin gone. Even with the helmet, he looks confused. He reaches up and pats the helmet, then looks at you again. He hunches back and you actually catch a glint of white eyes narrowing at you under the helmet.

You pause, uncertain. "Mit? You okay?" It feels strange saying that first part of his name like Eridan does, but you kind of like it, too. It's all you have to go on, and you don't know when the silent clown is coming back.

The troll shudders and bows forward, clutching his head. He's babbling, but you have no idea what he's saying. You reach out, maybe to shoosh or something even though you literally just turned down his offer for a pale fling, but as soon as the tips of your claws connect there's a spark of orange and you both go flying in opposite directions. You register the clown coming out of the brain trees again and flinging himself to catch the troll and your back connects with a brain tree and suddenly you're sitting on a pile of fabric with a wide eyed Eridan staring down at you.

He wastes no time swooping down and hugging you tightly, fins flared, and you barely wonder how you're back to the troll form as you hug him back. You definitely aren't dead, and neither is he, and that is what matters now.


	33. Chapter 33

It takes you almost no time at all to realize that something is actually wrong, but it's still an embarrassingly long time. Eridan is clinging to you like his life depends on it, shaking and letting out bubbling chirps. You can feel his fins scratching against your chin with the way he's clinging. You curl your arms around him. There's no way this reaction is just because you got hurt so you look around, trying to figure out where you are, for one thing.

The block itself is populated mainly by clothes on mannequins, and other materials are bright, jade green. You're guessing it's Kanaya's then, which is definitely something you have to ask about when you figure out what's going on. You also need to apologize to Kanaya for...a lot. There's an open husktop lying on the ground with a message box open with colored text that you think looks sort of like your brother's, but that just opens up more questions.

"Eridan," you say softly. "What's wrong?"

Eridan doesn't move right away, but his fins practically smack against his head they flatten back so fast. He lets out another quivery, bubbly chirp and slowly sits up. There are purple marks on your god tier pajamas that shimmer away when your suit does its strange self-cleansing thing. Purple streaks stain his face and his lower lip is quivering. Words seem to fail him and he hugs you again, mumbling into your shoulder.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. Come on, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." You softly pap around one of his fins since his face is stuck to your shoulder. You feel sort of strange, like there was a big bubble in your chest that was always making you burning hot but right now its spread out and you're warm through your entire body. In a bad, shameful sort of way, you're happy that Eridan's actually being this emotional, this moiral-ish, even though Feferi is okay. You were sort of expecting him to lose interest after you finished with the main thing that caused the moirallegience in the first place, no matter how nice it had been before.

"What would you do if you met your Truth?" he asks, surprisingly coherent as he sits up and stares at you.

You think for a moment. "I would be happy," you say slowly. "But..." You stop, trying to think of a good way to say what you're thinking.

"Would we break up?"

You stare at Eridan. You backtrack and try to make sense of that. You finally manage a blank faced, "Huh?"

He reaches back and picks up his husktop, fumbling with it for a moment before turning it to you. It really is your brother's text, and you almost smile when you realize that Eridan contacted him to tell him what happened. The smile drops completely when you read Veritan's response.

"I'm going to kill him."

"But, I was thinking about it, and it makes sense that we'd break up if you met your Truth! Because you said a Truth is like your everything, right, so why would you need a moiral?" His stutter gets worse as he talks.

"Eridan, Eridan, stop! Stop talking!" You try to shoosh him but he moves away, falling silent anyway. You check the timestamps on the chatlog and then the actual time and grimace. He's been thinking about this for a while, making it worse in his head. You set the husktop down and push yourself properly into standing, checking that your legs are actually functional. Good. You're a little dizzy, but overall steady. You face Eridan, crouching in front of him. "The only reason I can see us ever breaking up would be if we both agreed. I don't know why we would, but if it ever came to that, we'd talk, right?"

Eridan takes a shaky breath and nods, but doesn't say anything else.

You sit back a little, looking around the block. "I saw two other trolls, in dream bubbles," you comment. "One of them kind of looked like Sollux, he at least had the same sort of way of talking, and the other knew who Gamzee was, I think."

Eridan frowns. "That's weird. I thought we were the only ones left, since the Vast Glub killed all of them."

"They were dead," you explain quietly. "I think everyone in the dream bubbles might be."

"Oh."

You sit in silence as Eridan wipes his face. He finally stands, picking up his husktop and closing it.

"Want to go find Kan? She let us use her block."

"Sure. I'd like to thank her. And apologize." You stand and walk with Eridan into the hallway. As you're walking you glance at your hands and realize that you can see the scars across your hands. They look odd on troll skin and they weren't even noticeable when you'd first gotten them, though the rocks embedded in your skin that you'd had to pick out had definitely been noticeable. You shift just enough that the scars aren't visible. You've gotten good at that, thanks to Veritan's worrying. 

"You should probably know about Gam." Eridan stops and you follow his lead, looking at him. You remember seeing Gamzee tied up by Terezi and you think you remember that Tavros, the one Gamzee had seemed close to, is dead. The two might go together somehow, but you wait for Eridan to tell you because he actually knows while you'd just be guessing. "He killed Nep and Eq."

You stare at him.

"Kan told me. And Sollux and Aradia, she came back from the dead as a god tier, shot the meteor forward and then they both fucked off to the dream bubbles looking for something. Oh, and two of the humans are here. Kan stopped by to fill me in so I could tell you."

That's a lot of information, but you're a little stuck on the first part. "Do, do we know why, Gamzee did that?" you ask, trying to understand.

Eridan shrugs. "Someone might, but I don't."

"Where's Gamzee right now?" you ask.

"He's probably in someone's sylladex," Eridan replies with a frown.

You try not to think about what that entails. You know it's possible because of the angel you kept for a while, but there's a difference between a game's construct and a player. "Best guess at who and how we could get him out?"

"Vris or Terezi," he says after a moment of thought. "And I know how Vris's sylladex works, so I could probably force eject it and blame it on an old spark of hate." He blushes.

"You comfortable doing that?"

Eridan pauses, then says, "I was kinda thinking of Gam as a friend, so...yeah? At least to figure out what he's thinkng. And, I mean, I'm the highest blood now, so technically I'd be the one to figure out the punishment for that kinda thing."

You study Eridan, but he really does seem okay with it. "Okay. Let's go thank a rainbowdrinker and retrieve a clown."

Eridan laughs as he follows you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So has anyone figured out why Lyllani's voice is orange sometimes?


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it's better to wonder why her voice is usually black?

You transportilize into the main living block and you're greeted by the sound of Karkat yelling at a human in red. Another human, this one female, looks over at you both and one eyebrow raises elegantly. Kanaya is standing beside her. Vriska and Terezi are over on the couch, watching the red human get yelled at. Well, Vriska is watching, and Terezi is sniffing. You'll have to ask about that. And about when Vriska god tiered.

Eridan nods to you and heads over to Vriska and Terezi, skirting around Karkat and the human. You walk to Kanaya, who smiles faintly at your approach.

"I expect that you two are about to cause some trouble."

You grin, tipping your head to the side. "Why, Kanaya, why would you ever think that?" Kanaya looks pointedly at Eridan, who has taken a seat by Vriska. You can tell that he's keeping an eye on you, probably waiting to make sure that you can talk to Kanaya properly. "Well, it's probably no surprise that you're right," you continue. "But I wanted to apologize first."

Kanaya looks at you, her expression almost startled. "You have nothing to apologize for, Lyllani."

"You died because of me," you point out. "And your matriorb was destroyed because of me."

Kanaya sighed. "Neither of those were your fault," she said quietly. "And you gave your best effort to prevent it. Because of you, we have lost one, two less members, if I understand correctly." She glances at Eridan again. "Although, I fully intend to destroy your former companion should we ever cross paths again." Her voice took on a rattling note and for a moment, Karkat stopped shouting to look over. Eridan's fins flared and he looked intently at you and you smiled reassuringly. He turned back to Vriska.

"Please, be my guest," you tell Kanaya.

The human daintily clears her throat and you and Kanaya both jump. The human seems unfazed and steps forward, extending one hand in a way that you aren't sure is meant for you to shake or if you're supposed to kiss it. "Hello, I don't believe we have met. I am Rose, the Seer of Light. And you are?"

You decide to shake her hand, turning into a human since handshakes aren't a very troll-ish behavior. The human blinks once, but shakes your hand anyway. "I'm Lyllani, Sylph of Life. I probably spoke to you before, on Kanaya's comp-husktop. I used orange text." Wow, it's even more confusing being a human with troll thoughts. You release her hand and turn back into a troll. The human blinks again.

"You are the shapeshifter, then. It is a pleasure to meet you in person."

You nod. "You too. I," you pause uncertainly, "I must ask. Your guardians. Did any of them...?"

Rose draws in a breath and averts her gaze.

"I'm sorry." You glance over at Eridan and he catches your gaze. You nod to him. "I'll see you all later. I'm not really sure what else Vriska has, so you might want to duck."

Kanaya looks quickly over at Vriska and Eridan just as sabers and costumes and various other items that make much more sense being in a sylladex come shooting out. She swiftly steps in front of Rose and you wince as Gamzee joins the rush of items and collides into the wall with a noisy honk from the horn still jammed in his mouth. Eridan leaps out of Vriska's reach and runs for the transportilizer and you grab the still honking Gamzee and follow him.

"What the bulgechafing nook fuck are you do-"

"See you around, Karkat!" You grin at him and jump onto the transportilizer, landing with Gamzee on your shoulder. Whoa, your head is spinning.

Eridan steadies you, grinning, and you both rush down the hall to the next set of transportilizers. You land in the cooking block and drop Gamzee, sitting down quickly.

"Okay," you say, giggling, "That might have been a little ambitious for practically coming back from the dead."

"You okay?" Eridan studies you anxiously and you grin at him, looking over at Gamzee. Gamzee honks the horn at you, but what catches your attention is how messed up his face is. The three new slashes are one thing, but his makeup is smeared and you wonder if it's to the point that you probably shouldn't be looking.

"Gamzee, your face is still on, but it's really out of sorts," you say, pulling the horn out of his mouth. Eridan moves around him to untie him.

"Motherfuckin' in my pan," Gamzee snarls, and Eridan recoils from the ropes, as surprised by the aggression as you are. Gamzee's eyes are dangerously close to red. "This a fake motherfucker in my thinkpan, Lylsis?"

You stare at him, trying to process what he's asking. "Who's in your head?" you finally ask, because you really need more to go on.

Gamzee bares his teeth and you don't like the almost-fear that the sight makes you feel. Is he using his chuckle-voodoos? That's a thing that indigo bloods have, but it doesn't make sense that Gamzee would use it on you. "Sayin' he's the motherfuckin' messiah," Gamzee says. "Got in my thinkpan and whispered 'til I listened and told me to paint because they're less but _you_ , he don't motherfuckin' like you, Lylsis, an' he isn't so here anymore so is this a fake motherfucker who got all up in my motherfuckin' pan?"

Fearran might be the basis for a god of his. And he has someone in his head(?) claiming to be his god. Someone who told him to kill Equius and Nepeta. "Yes," you decide. "Neither one of them would make you do that. Whoever it is that's in your head isn't anyone that I know."

"Then get this motherfuckin' heathen out," Gamzee hisses.

Eridan looks at you when you pause. "Can you do that?" he asks.

You hesitate, then think out loud, "You said he doesn't like me, so he backed off. Maybe because I know who he's trying to be. If my classpect worked properly I could probably heal it out of you, but I don't want to try it and risk more damage. However, I know how to dream walk, so I could try going in and driving him out from inside Gamzee's head."

"There's a but."

"But, I don't know if it would work, and it could fry us both and pretty much anything could go wrong because I don't know _how_ it would work. It's entirely theoretical. Welp. Here goes." You take a deep breath, then crouch in front of Gamzee and press your palm to his forehead.

Brilliant blue eyes stare at you, round and glossy over a frozen grin. It's the puppet. You watch as it changes, eyes turning into glittering cueballs that swirl out of synchrony with each other. The mouth grows fangs and opens wide and you realize that you're looking at a Cherub. It roars at you, undeveloped and primal and trapped, somewhere it is trapped, and it needs Gamzee or someone else to let it out. You think of how Fearran and Warrien have the two sides and how Fearran would probably roar back while Warrien would push back with his will.

Fearran came first. He was the one that lived first, who met a Truth that you realize now was a Cherub. His Truth eventually died. He didn't. He grew a second luxtru to replace a first that never broke, and Warrien was created. And they kept meeting Truths who died until something inside both of them broke, Warrien becoming trapped by the emotions of others and Fearran becoming desperate for anger.

Cherubs are divided. Fearran and Warrien can't separate like Cherubs can because they aren't really Cherubs, but Warrien was created because that was what Fearran had wanted so desperately to be. Warrien could subdue Fearran with his will, and Fearran could do the same with his anger. It was reliant on whichever one of them was stronger at the time. This was a cherub that relied on anger.

"You can't have him," you say, your words visible again, bright glowing orange like they're supposed to be. "This one isn't yours to keep. He's ours. You can't have him." The Cherub roars again and you glare at it, turning into a Cherub yourself. Two can play at that game. "You. Can't. Have. Him," you repeat, watching the burning orange letters cut through the space. "So get out."

The order appears to go both ways, because you're suddenly sitting on regular floor again. You're still a Cherub, but there aren't other Cherub's around and Eridan is clutching your arm. You turn back into a troll and smile reassuringly at him, then look at Gamzee. His eyes are closed and he's breathing slowly, asleep.

"Did it work?"

"I think so," you answer, smiling despite your own rapidly approaching exhaustion. "But we really need to move better cushions in here if we're going to keep falling asleep."

Eridan laughs, relieved and giddy and dips slightly to press a kiss to your cheek. "We can definitely do that."


	35. Chapter 35

Eridan is making yet another fish dish and Gamzee is still asleep propped up on the table with a piece of a shirt draped over his messed up face when the human in red warps in. You are also seated at the table and when you look up you're briefly thrown off at the sight of scarlet blood, everywhere. But you blink and the blood is gone. Your gaze drops to his chest. Time. Red and time. Great.

The human heads over to you, giving a long look at Gamzee. He leans on the table and you're aware that Eridan's watching as he speaks, "You were right."

He doesn't continue, so you say, "You're the human with the red text."

"You know, we had two copies, too. But a fucking bird took mine and I got his and he died."

There's tension in the human's shoulders and his breathing is shaky, even though his face is impassive. It makes you think of how Fearran schooled himself into a resting angry face. You feel like an apology isn't the appropriate course of action, but you aren't sure what is.

Eridan shoves fish in his face. "Try this," he says.

The human jolts with a straight face. He looks at the platter, then comes to the same conclusion you did about food poisoning not being heroic and takes one. Eridan swishes the plate toward you as he puts it in his mouth and you take a piece of your own.

"It's sweet," you murmur, pleased.

The human in red studies the plate like he's considering taking another, but he doesn't. Instead, his gaze switches to you and he asks, "What's the deal with the clown?"

"Gamzee got possessed by a trapped Cherub during a moment of weakness," you reply. "I got it out and he went to sleep."

The human stares at you and Eridan comments, "She's telling the truth. If you think that's crazy, wait until you meet the guy who killed Kan."

"That's a possibility?"

You grimace. "Seeing as he's dead but walking through realities, yeah. Eridan probably blasted him back a few, since he uses shadows to travel and he can't be where shadows aren't, but there's not much that can kill something that's already dead. Definitely not anything I can do. On the bright side, there are plenty of ways to trap it, several of which I _can_ do...if I find him." You sigh and lean forward, resting your chin on your palm.

"You're ridiculously overpowered," the human says flatly.

You shrug. "My class powers don't work and for someone who isn't dead and who doesn't have accelerated healing, shifting itself hurts like the pit. No power comes without a cost. No exceptions."

The human is silent for a long moment, then he draws himself taller. "I'm Dave. Karkles said that you were Lyllani."

You laugh into your hand. "Karkles. I like that. This is Eridan, and that's Gamzee." You motion to both of them. "And, you know, Eridan's my moiral and Gamzee's going to have a moiral soon, but their other quadrants are open."

Eridan lets out an alarmed chirping bubble and you can see from the corner of your eye that his face is flushed violet. The human pauses and you can see his eyes move over to Eridan through his shades, then back to you. He smirks and leans closer.

"And what about you?"

You bite back a laugh and shrug. "My kind really only have one red mate, and I'm not too interested in black or ashen. Sorry." Your lips twitch up at another bewildered noise from Eridan and you pressed them together and hope he doesn't notice.

"Ah, rejected. Yet another innocent soul loses their chance for the great Strider love." You have no idea why his toneless answer is so funny and you break, doubling over laughing. Eridan catches on immediately and huffs irritably at you, clanking down the plate and smacking your arm. He promptly crosses his own arms and pouts.

"I'll see you around, Lyllani. You should come check out the Mayor when you get a chance. He's a sweet little dude." Dave is stepping back, hands in his pockets and lips almost imperceptibly tilted upward.

"Will do," you reply. You hesitate, then add, "And, Dave, it's too bad our first conversation went so poorly. I'm sorry that we didn't get to talk more before this."

Dave pauses, then nods just slightly and steps on the transportilizer.

"What was that about?" Eridan asks, still pouty.

You shrug. "I like him. I think he and my brother could be friends."

"Friends," Eridan repeats in a voice that's clearly wondering if I mean moiral.

You shrug. "I don't know how he is with relationships. Humans don't have quadrants, and they have an odd way of looking at love. It's like some kinds are wrong even though they make everyone happy. I don't really get it."

Eridan lets out a huff and shakes his head. "Just more evidence that human's are stupid."

You laugh and help yourself to more fish.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay because I really want to get to these next parts and I really, really want to write the sequel but it's so far away, I'm going to update this for like the third time today. Assuming that I get through this before night.  
> Also, I'm considering alternate realities and I'm thinking of inserting my people into other fanfics in the hunt for Jountos. I'd have some of them be original things, but I'm considering some UFUT and one from a zombie fic I read that was fun, though I'll need to find it. What would you guys think of that? I'd site any that I used, of course.

Gamzee sat up slowly, limbs jerking like something invisible was pulling at them. You think of the puppet and grimace. He raises a hand and pats at the shirt you put over his head. Eridan doesn't budge where he's sitting next to you, watching Gamzee as closely as you are. He does slowly put his husktop back into his sylladex so that the wizard fanfictions he was reading to you are safely hidden.

"Lylsis?"

"Yep. Eridan and I are both here," you reply. "You asked me to cover you up in case your face got messed up, so I did."

Gamzee proceeds to make a low, rasping noise. You look at Eridan and he meets your look with a frown. It takes seeing indigo dripping onto Gamzee's stained shirt to realize that he's crying. Gamzee bows forward, curling around himself.

"I motherfuckin' killed them," he howls, his voice creating a disturbing pulse of what you _know_ aren't natural sounds.  "That motherfucker got in my motherfuckin' pan and I fuckin' _listened_ to his whispers and miracles and I killed those motherfuckers!"

Eridan's fins are flat against his head as you reach out, pressing your palm to Gamzee's back since it's the only part you can reach and you don't like the idea of going closer to his claws when he's like this.

"Gamzee, what happened is horrible. We can't dwell on it. I think that the Cherub that did that was a, maybe still is, a player. That means it's something that we can defeat. I know that isn't the best thing to hear, but at the very least you can make that Cherub suffer." It's probably bad reassurance, but it's the best you can think of to give. 

Gamzee sits up fast and you recoil, aware of the gleam of white in Eridan's hand. The long-horned troll twists and you don't avert your gaze from his even though he definitely should be fixing his face. "How do I motherfuckin' know that you aren't lyin' just as much as this motherfucker?"

You stare at Gamzee. That hurts. You open your mouth, then close it again. Okay. Ouch. You resorted your modus while you were waiting, so you reach into your sylladex and pull out your husktop. Eridan glances at you and watches you pull up ChirpShock.

burningLife [BL] has begun trolling ChirpShock [CS]

BL: Warrien. Are you available.  
CS: tHE StarS HAve rISEn  
CS: beWARe thE ICy prISOn  
BL: Will do. Im going to give this device to someone else so he can talk to you.  
BL: His name is Gamzee and he is a possible longterm potential platonic partner for you if you two get along. He believes in the mirthful messiahs and a dark carnival and twin gods.  
CS: i tRUSt yoUR Mind BUT is tHIS wisE  
CS: AN unkNOWn paRTNer mAY TricK THe eyES

You try to think of what that last line might mean as you turn the husktop to Gamzee. Gamzee slowly reaches out, pausing just a moment before he starts typing. 

You try to comprehend what Warrien meant with the last two lines. The first part is obvious. He trusts me. But, 'an unknown partner may trick the eyes'? Normally you're pretty good at figuring out what he means. You turn to Eridan, murmuring the line to him.

"Maybe it's like false expectations? He doesn't know Gam yet and they aren't realy meeting, just talking, so he might think Gam is someone else."

You consider it, then nod and look over at Gamzee again. He's reading with an intense expression of concentration, distracted for the moment.

"Hey, Lyl, earlier you said that you could trap Jountos if you could catch him. That mean you're going to be hunting him?"

You focus back on your moiral. "Yes. I'm going to take that form and go through realities to find him. Most likely, he's limited to ones that are connected to your session. If it's all that's keeping him existing, he probably can't go outside it. The same would apply to me. It would at least narrow down my search."

"Our, search." Eridan hesitates, eyes searching, and you consider again that warm, pleasant feeling. "I want to help you with this, Lyl."

You look down at your hands, smiling slightly. "Thank you. I don't even know if I can bring you, but, thank you."

Eridan huffs, crossing his arms. "Well, if I can't, I'll make sure that he doesn't attack you while we're here. I'll protect you with my science!" He raises the wand proudly.

The warm feeling spreads and you reach over to pull him into a hug. Eridan chirps happily and hugs you back.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was thinking and I realized that there's a really big flaw to my Telun mythology of creation because...why would you evolve to shapeshift if you think you're alone in the universe? Because before the original Telun's left their planets, they DEFINITELY thought they were alone. Well! They are shapeshifters like that because they were originally planted on their home planet! There isn't really any planet that doesn't want to continue to reproduce for the growth of its people, but if they're having an issue doing that it makes sense planets would band together to make a uniform breeder that can suit anyone. They ditch it on a planet to test its survival and whoops! It develops past their expectations and forms its own society plus it has this weird organ that allows it to detect what's basically its soulmate? (And civil rights types are successful in advocating that the Teluns can't be used as they were intended and they get to live happily and blissfully ignorant until pretty much everyone who knew their real history died, as mortal creatures tend to do.)  
> So, yeah. Telun history for real.

Gamzee shoves your husktop back to you. He sits there, frowning, then asks, "He always talk in those motherfuckin' miracles?"

You captchalogue it. "Yeah. His other side, the one that's sleeping right now, has a mouth that's even worse than yours, though." You pause thoughtfully. "Assuming you can understand it. He uses terms that are probably older than he is, mixed in with terms from now, and then some in between, but not a few others because he was isolating himself on a moon at that time."

"Like what?"

You think for a moment. "Flitni, fuck, relk, typre...like that. Flitni is _really_ old, it means stupid, kind of. You guys know fuck, and relk is sort of like fuck. Typre is, um, like wriggler? It's also pretty old." After a moment you add,  "There are some others that I told him I wouldn't be his friend if he used again. Which sounds really wrigglerish when I say it now." You frown at your hands.

"You're a motherfuckin' wriggler compared to that motherfucker." Gamzee smiles slowly and you're a little disconcerted by the switch back to casual, almost 'dopey' clown. "A motherfuckin' wriggler playin' with a bunch of motherfuckin' adults."

You blink at Eridan's startled look and remember how there aren't adult trolls on Alternia. "Adults aren't really a threat like they are to you," you remind him. "I was the youngest, but the way they acted toward me was because of my lack of age alone, and they aren't harmful."

His frown deepens. "I still don't get why they cut you off from so much."

You shrug. "I was the kid. There's a lot I don't know and they sort of thought it was better if I just kept not knowing it. Easier to just not let me know." You remember Treckta patting your head as she spoke in her clipped accent, _We'll explain it all when we aren't so busy. You understand._ Except you don't. Not really.

Eridan's back to pouting.

You look at Gamzee, considering his back-to-casual self. The mood switches are a little disconcerting, but you figure that Warrien did a pretty good job shooshing/talking to him. That should be a good sign.

"Gamzee, how'd you like talking to Warrien?"

He smiles with every tooth and blood from the three claw scars slides down his face. "Miracles, Lylsis. He's motherfuckin' miracles."

You grin. "You're right. He is."


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of disturbing content?

===>Be Veritan 

You are Veritan. You are hunched on a drifting asteroid, panting for breath. You're not really sure how, since she'd never been able to do something like this before, but there's a small horrorterror wrapped around your arm in orange fabrics with a small Light symbol on them. You're briefly in the form of a mxleit, which has camouflaging abilities for its mind and body both. Your own god tier uniform doesn't look nearly as strange as hers, the gloves snug against your palms, the pants peculiarly fluffed like they had something stuffed inside them, the cape short enough that it wasn't in your way.

You broke your coutan, you think. It's lying in a crevice, blinking its little lights sadly at you. There are probably advisement screens on anger management open if you didn't break it. Sometimes you hate the observation program. You don't want to look at it, trying to calm down when you know there are horrorterrors in the darkness around you that you can't hide from forever. Arcatha seems happy enough around your arm, above your gloves and a disconcerting feeling of slimy and smooth and cold and hot.

You hunch back even more, trying to make yourself stop shaking. The red words dance in front of you in that almost-more-annoying-than-Treckta's quirk, lined up with purple from Lyllani's 'moiral'. 

QV: MaYBe you NeeD To CoNSiDeR THaT LYLLaNi JuST DoeS NoT HaVe a TRuTH,,,, THaT iS,,,, a LuXTRu.... SHe HaS NeVeR eXPReSSeD aN iNTeReST,,,, SoMeTHiNG THaT NoT eVeN you CaN CLaiM.... i eXPeCT,,,, oR PeRHaPS i See,,,, THaT SHe WiLL oNLY Be aBLe To aCCePT SoMeTHiNG PLaToNiC.... aFTeR aLL,,,, SHe GeTS aLoNG WeLL WiTH THe MoNSTeR....

CA: but anywway im her moiral  
CA: thats sorta like a truth that isnt a romantic truth

It's happening and you don't know what to do. Lyllani should be the one to have a Truth. Lyllani deserves it. She's _good_ and kind and she believes in everyone and she should be the one to have a Truth. You are the one who doesn't deserve a Truth and all this 'moiral' is doing is proving Jountos, Jountos who was always right, Jountos who was your friend, who you trusted, who _hurt_ her, right.

He can't be right.

Not about this.

She needs her Truth. Why else would she live? It's your purpose to protect her, and that means it should be her purpose to find her Truth so that she can live the life she should have gotten, that you wish you could have given her, without her mismatched eyes and your stupid, stupid, unending _blueness_. She deserves to be happy. If Pelleon hadn't died- you don't think about the silver blood that had stained the ground as Lyllani had pressed her hands over the hole in his chest, eerily still and pale -you'd want to talk to him about it. He knows a lot about Truths for some reason.

But Pelleon isn't alive. He's probably nothing, by now. Reduced to pixels of nonexistence by the ashes of Sswap. Your skin burns and you do not sob.

Ketrian always gave good advice, just in general. You also do not think of the splash of silver up the wall where Ketrian's head had been crushed against it by Jountos, your friend who was not a friend.

You're aware of Arcatha's limbs as they slide up your arm and you wonder if you're feeding the horrorterror she turned into. You try not to think about that.

You aren't meant for leading. Ketrian was. Jountos was. Not you. But now, it feels like that's what's happening. Your sister has a platonic mate just like Jountos said she would and she's small and she's fragile and you need to protect her not make her lead, whichever personality currently being used by Lyllani's god-friend is probably just as bad, Arcatha's a relking _horrorterror_ , which leaves you. But you aren't responsible. You're a follower. You literally exist to follow others, feel their pain so they don't have to.

Maybe you should have taken Jountos up on his offer. Join him, and he'd protect your sister. But that was never really a choice. Lyllani made it for you, cutting his legs with her monstrous axe and sinking her claws into his back until they pierced his luxtru, because no matter how much he shrank it as Treckta died, it was still there, and an injury to the luxtru was always mortal.

You pick up your coutan and place it into your star modus, where it's shuffled into a randomized sequence of numbers. Pelleon had suggested the modus as a method of practicing recognition of patterns and eventual hacking. You sort of like it, and it definitely looks pretty when you try to get anything out. Your coutan usually has a 4 in it somewhere, and it's only six letters/numbers long, which makes it easier to find. You've gotten pretty good at it.

You look down at Arcatha and twelve sparkling eyes blink back at you. Never in your life would you imagine that Arcatha of all people would ever be clinging to you and not just to make you a shield from something else. You're not sure how much of Arcatha is in there, but the little horrorterror came to you easily enough, so you're not sure what to think about that.

You take a deep breath and shift into a cherub, your bones grinding painfully as they move. Arcatha sidles a little higher on your arm. You take another moment to steady yourself, staunchly refusing to look at the peculiar teal coloring to your skin, then spread white wings and launch yourself from the meteor, flying as fast as you can to get out of this Ring and into one where maybe, just maybe, the horrorterrors won't follow you.

You don't think about the way the space behind you springs into motion behind you.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do I attach links?

You're back in Eridan's block watching a historical drama with him and Gamzee is somewhere in the vents above you rustling around when it hits you. You sit up and Eridan pauses the film, looking at you with a puzzled expression, fins relaxed and half-perked.

"Eridan."

"Yeah?"

"Would you say that the human's creature was the most dangerous thing in your game?"

Eridan frowns. "Yeah, probably."

"So your worst enemy came from someone else's game?"

Eridan tips his head slightly. "Yeah?"

"And right now there are three different game sessions combined."

"Right; Sgrub, Sburb, and Sswap."

"So it would be reasonable to say that only things related to the games can do anything to interfere in the games."

Eridan pauses, then slowly nods. "Well, yeah."

"So, Eridan, where did the cherub come from?" You point up at the vents and you can see it hit Eridan as he follows your motion.

"There's another session connected to ours."

"That has to be where it came from."

"Which means we have at four different sessions combining, four different enemies we have to worry about."

"At least." You stand. "We should tell the others."

Eridan nods, rising and captchaloguing his husktop. He looks up at the vents, where Gamzee has ceased his shuffling. You aren't sure if that means he wandered off or if he just settled down.

"Gamzee, we're going to go find the others. Do you want to come?" you call.

There's a beat of silence, then a honk of a horn. Gamzee doesn't drop from the vents, so you take it as a no. You and Eridan head to the nearest transportilizer, which you're pretty sure will take you to the main rumpus block. You step onto it and find that you're correct with the location, and, what do you know, everyone is there.

Vriska whips around, glaring full force, and Karkat looks behind you as Eridan arrives. Maybe he's looking for Gamzee.

"You," Vriska snarls.

You forego the original thought that she was like Arcatha and you probably shouldn't interrupt her so that you can interrupt her with, "We have a problem."

"Is the problem that you let out that clown?"

You decide to ignore her completely, facing Karkat. Dave is across from Karkat, so you're kind of facing him too. Kanaya and Rose are over by another table, looking on with intrigue. "There's another session connected to this one."

"If you mean the Scratch to our game, we are aware," Rose commented.

"That's five, then," Eridan said grimly.

"How is that a problem? All it means is that there are more of us sad nooklickers that get to be sad nooklickers together," Karkat snapped.

"It also means that all of the enemies that each singular session would have to fight to succeed, or, in my case at least, the enemies that just don't want them to win, are gathering in one session."

Rose sits straighter. "I would like to hear more about your session, later. However, we have no way of knowing who or what the various enemies will be. It is possible that they are nothing to be concerned about, against our combined forces."

"Our current count, as I see it, is a dead, and possibly un-rekillable Seer with the ability to grow as large as he wants, a, Noir is a guardian, right?" You glance at Eridan and he nods. "Right, a psychopath with guardian abilities, and a very angry cherub who is currently trapped in a, I think in a puppet," Dave twitches, "and has the ability to at _least _get into Gamzee's head and possibly into the minds of others. And then we have whoever else is in the other games that we find ourselves connected to."__

____

"Great, so we've got two Vriskas to deal with."

You look at Karkat, then at Vriska. "You can impose your will over others too?"

Vriska huffs haughtily. "Uh, duh. Why do you think we've managed to get this far?"

Yeah, you're not sure what it is, but you don't like Vriska one bit. "So does anyone else have a clue what other enemies we might have to deal with are?"

There's a beat of silence in which Kanaya looks meaningfully at Rose and Dave's knee starts to bounce.

"What about the angels?" Eridan asks, frowning.

Terezi snickers while Karkat groans. "Jegus fuck, Eridan, the angels aren't an issue! They were never an issue! The biggest problems we had with the angels were problems that _you_ caused!"

"They were a problem in Lyll's game!" Eridan gestures at you, features shifting downward.

"That is true. Probably not in this session though, because between me and Eridan, I don't think there are any angels left alive," you say.

"You know, this only proves my point about us needing to train! We _clearly_ have some issues, and if we actually train for once, we'll be able to fix at least _some_ of them!" She somehow manages to squeeze the word eight into train, and you stare at her for a long moment trying to figure that out.

"What makes you think that it's a good idea if we listen to you? You're the reason we're in this mess!" Karkat stands up, eyes narrowed. "You just make things more of a problem than they need to be and leave us to pick up the pieces! And hey, you're practically immortal, so you've got nothing to worry about!"

You wince. He's not wrong about the god tier thing. You wonder how heroic it would have been if Jountos really had killed you. What if you had come back?

Vriska and Karkat are arguing, Karkat shouting and Vriska snarking, when your husktop pings. You flip to the technology tree and remove the leaf that it's in, shrugging at Eridan's look. You've said your piece. You don't feel like getting into their argument. Eridan sighs and leans on the table next to you.

**turntechGodhead [TG] has begun pestering  burningLife [BL]**

TG: yo lylani  
TG: this you  
TG: not cool changing your name  
TG: gotta give a guy some warning  
TG: well youve got your weird troll computer out so yeah its probably you  
BL: Yes its me. My name is lyllani not that it matters.  
BL: Why pester me when were in the same room. Too cool to actually talk.  
TG: you got it  
TG: the world isnt ready for me  
TG: its all like speak dave let us hear you  
TG: but no can do  
TG: yall just arent ready yet  
TG: i speak a single word and all who hear it fall to their knees  
TG: fair maidens swoon so hard they  
TG: uh  
TG: fuck  
TG: lost my train of thought  
TG: i can see that look dont look at me like that  
TG: there i was winding up to a perfectly good metaphor and youre just sitting there staring at me  
TG: not even giving this poetry the courtesy of reading it  
BL: You seem tense. Everything okay.  
TG: fuck  
TG: okay  
TG: you cant tell anyone i told you this  
TG: except the fishy dude because karkat told me youre like diamond buddies or some shit  
TG: oh yeah fishy dude i can see you reading this over her shoulder  
TG: yeah fuck you too  
BL: I doubt eridan would have done that if you had actually used his name. Though to be fair i initially referred to him as the purple fish.  
BL: And neither one of us will tell anyone. See hes nodding.  
TG: oh god purple fish thats the best  
TG: so  
TG: this puppet  
TG: okay lets back up  
TG: go so far back its like we time traveled  
TG: so you know my bro  
TG: super cool dude  
TG: like  
TG: just  
TG: so cool  
BL: Dave. Are you okay.  
TG: i mean check this shit out

**turntechGodhead attached image PlushRump.jpg**

**turntechGodhead attached image PlushRump2.gif**

BL: What the ever relking fuck. yeah wwhat the fuck  
TG: so cool right  
TG: thank you for the input fishy dude  
TG: just reaching on over and inviting yourself in by typing along with her TG: okay you both need to stop staring at me like that  
TG: okay now fishy dude is making weird faces haha very funny  
BL: I found the actual website. Are these old feeds really from your home.  
TG: what  
TG: how is that even possible  
TG: shouldnt it be gone like earth  
BL: Technically. Pelleon was very good with technology and we can connect to each other no matter the device so it makes sense that i can find other things.  
ST: Okay, no, this is not what you're supposed to use that for. What am I even seeing?  
TG: what the fuck

You drop your husktop and it clatters to the ground. "What the fuck?" you echo Dave.

Green appears on the screen but you don't read it, looking instead at Dave. Everyone is staring now, looking between you and Dave. Rose has the expression of a meirax that just spotted some very interesting prey.

"Isn't that the program that was in your sylladex?" Eridan asks, slowly bending down and picking up your husktop. "Oh. It says that Sol downloaded it into the system before he cracked it."

"Well that answers one thing," you mutter. "But that was a private conversation. I don't care if you're in the system, but you can't intrude like that."

ST: You were looking at pornography! scrolls across the message screen, probably on Dave's computer, too.

"I-okay, no, it was pu-" You stop and look at Dave again. Puppets. He was taking an excruciatingly long time getting to a point revolving around the cherub puppet. You return your focus to the blinking green words. "I'm not a child and you have no right to mandate what I do, nor do you have the right to intrude on private communications."

ST: You do realize that this stage of my existence was largely intended to watch you, right?

You look at the words with a painful twisting in your chest. Great. Just. Fucking great. Apparently _everyone_ thought you needed watching. You take the husktop from Eridan and stare at it for a long moment, then close Trollian shut off the device completely, returning it to your sylladex. You look at Dave.  "It's a creepy looking thing with big blue eyes and a gold tooth. A blue shirt with the name Cal on it and it's wearing its hat backward."

Dave's features go completely flat, unreadable behind the shades. "Yeah. That's my bro's."

"Great. Your, bro's, puppet has a cherub living inside it. You know where the puppet is?"

"I recall seeing it on Derse. I threw it out your window," Rose adds to Dave.

"I believe I found something like that before boarding the meteor. I gave it new clothes on Aradia's request." Kanaya frowns thoughtfully.

"Gamzee had it in the room he lured me into. It smelled like limes and leaves. I left it there." Terezi snickers.

"Something tells me that it's relocated by now," you sigh, closing your eyes for a moment.

Your husktop pings and you open your eyes, glaring at your sylladex. You finally pull it out again.

ST: I'm sorry. Please let me explain.

TG: i fucking hate puppets

turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering burningLife [BL]


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RT stands for RebornTrickster

==> Be Future Lyllani

You are now Future Lyllani. And you've gotta say, being punched through time hurts. You assume you were punched through time, at least. You definitely saw some things that had already happened. You sit up, rubbing your jaw as you think. You're on the meteor, so you _think_ you know where/when you are. You sit up, grimacing and rolling your shoulders back. You tap your shades, a gift from Dave.

"Artaon, you come through time with me?"

RT: Yes. I'm here. Are you alright?

You both know that's a silly question, so you don't answer. "Give me a rundown of locations." You stand up, brushing off the armored form of your god tier uniform. You'll need to find your past self and tell her how to change her uniform and remind her to give Ahab's Crosshairs back to Eridan. Stable time loop, and all. Then you'll have to go find Dave so you can give him the instructions that he'll give to past-you so that when past-you becomes future-you, that is, your present you, you'll know what to do. Time loops. 

RT: Strider is in the main common area, according to my scanners.  
RT: Lalonde is in the library with her, though I suppose they are not official yet, Truth.  
RT: Strider's Truth and the Mayor are in Can Town.  
RT: Serket is with Pyrope in a lower laboratory.  
RT: You are in your block with Ampora at this time, debating historical dramas.

Ah, you remember that conversation. You had commented that a lot of the interactions were probably faked for drama and Eridan had vehemently protested. It actually ended only because of future-you/current-you/you showing up, and never really continued.

RT: Makara is above you.

You look up and notice the vents crawling across the ceiling. You aren't sure where Gamzee is in the present. Your present, that is. You thought he would be with Karkat, until you ran into Karkat fighting the green creatures and got punched back about a cycle in time. You extract a horn from your sylladex, where it is in a tree full of honorary paints, juggling clubs, a one-wheeled riding device, a pinch of special stardust that Gamzee had very seriously given you, and a plethora of even more horns. You could probably make a buck or two selling them out as a sleeping pile or something.

You raise the horn and honk it. After a moment, the vent honks back. You honk yours again and the vent replies accordingly, following by shuffling and a grating sound that you think is horns, troll horns not honk-horns, on metal. A grate slides open and Gamzee frowns out at you. You grimace at the still raw wounds on his face, wounds you know now are from Nepeta's claws. Past-you vaguely remembers the wounds healing surprisingly quickly, which current/future-you now understands.

"Hey, Gamzee," you say, returning the horn to your sylladex. The other horn leaves shuffle around, auto-balancing, which is strange when it's really just a branch of horns.

"...Hey, Lylsis," Gamzee replies slowly. "What the motherfuck happened to you?"

You're briefly puzzled by the question, then you remember how you used to shift yourself to hide everything. Gamzee's getting a full view of your scars and, thanks to your first real death, you've got some pretty big ones around the collar of your uniform. You're sure that there are other scars that he's able to see, but between your time traveling with Eridan and consistently joking around with and occasionally diamonding with various incarnations of Dave, letting Eridan know beforehand, of course, you're a lot less self-conscious about those ones. Sometimes, when you're not doing so well, you'll wear one of Eridan's scarves, but you pretty much let yourself be natural.

"You have to die to god tier, you know," you say. "When I died, some of the damage stuck around. Which doesn't need to be said for you. Could you come down here?"

You hold up your arms and as Gamzee slides from the vents and catches your arms to brace his fall, you wonder if he'd started falling toward past-you the way he did because you, as in future/current you, had followed what had just become a normal way to help Gamzee land. You and Eridan had both started doing it after a point, and you have a vague, not quite memory that you think might be from the first one of you to go through this loop of Gamzee landing on a horn when he was falling from the vents and hitting the ground with an awful popping snap sound. You don't pursue those kinds of memories, considering them Doomed memories.

"I can heal your face, if you'd like," you say. "Make the scars go away completely." It seems right to offer, even though you know you've seen Gamzee with the scars, pale white against his makeup. The thought rises up that maybe your powers stop again, but you squash it with ease. You know why your powers wouldn't work. You've gotten stronger, even if you haven't been like this for long.

Gamzee pauses and you can see him thinking. There's an orangey tinge to his eyes, but you know by now that you don't have to be afraid of him. You can feel the way his prongs shake where they're still loosely around your arms and you know that the rest of him is like that too. If you weren't with Eridan, you think you could pity him. You know, though, that Fearran and Warrien will be good for him. Or at least you really, really hope so.

"Nah, Lylsis. I deserve these motherfuckers. Killed the kittygirl for them." Gamzee's gaze drifts away. "They get me thinking and keeping clear. Remembering the past like your god-brother says."

You think he means Warrien, and the statement is a little odd because you don't think you've ever said anything about Warrien thinking that to Gamzee, but you nod anyway. "Okay. Want me to at least stop the blood? Leave the marks but heal it enough that it doesn't hurt." Gamzee hesitates again and you say, "You don't deserve to be in pain for what happened. That was someone else using you, who in the future is being attacked by an army of the dead led in part by a ghost Tavros."

Gamzee's eyes widen. "Tavbro is?"

You grin. "You bet. I have seriously no idea how he got pretty much the entire alt-dead-self-verse to follow him, but he did. And they're going up against Lord English with every intent to end his miserable, spiteful existence."

Gamzee smiles too, cracking his paints and opening what had been a sealed part of his cuts. "Yeah, okay, you can fix them up, Lylsis. You've got some miracles, knowing this."

You lift your prongs, his grip dropping away as soon as you pull back, and hold them on either side of his head. "Miracles is probably right. I could've been punched anywhere else in time, and I got to show up here. I'm from the future, alright, and I don't know where you are in my time, but you're okay. Me and Eridan, we've got your back, and so does Karkat, for all his shoutiness." Tendrils of orange slide from your claws and trace over the claw marks, sealing them shut. You draw back the power before it can heal them any more than you remember seeing them.

Gamzee blinks rapidly, maybe dazed by the power, maybe by your words. He finally smiles and breathes, "Motherfucking miracles."

RT: Serket incoming.

"Ah, fuck Serket," you grumble. Gamzee cocks his head to the side at you, then looks over as Vriska's cackle echoes through the hall. "Go find me in a little bit," you tell Gamzee. "Now go, before she sees you and gets into her imprisonment mood."

Gamzee grins and climbs easily into the vents again, sliding the grate shut. With a parting honk, he's gone.

"Oh, look who it is!"

Cue the spiderbitch, with Terezi at her side. You turn and it's almost pleasing seeing the doubletake Vriska does. It could be about the scars, but you think that she knows you don't belong.

"Good night, Vriska," you say pleasantly.

Terezi sniffs intently. "You smell weird, Lyllani," she declares.

"Doesn't surprise me. I'd expect to smell different from past-me."

Terezi snickers and Vriska tosses back her hair. "Don't tell me you've doomed our timeline somehow," she snaps. "What're you even doing here? You aren't a time player."

"Got punched through time by a friendly green man," you reply, walking forward. Vriska is surprised enough that she lets you by, but she's in pursuit in an instant.

"What's with the shades? You finally ditch the whiny loser for someone who can barely be better?"

You fix Vriska with a confused look. "What do you mean? I never dated you, and even if I had I wouldn't just ditch you. That'd be cruel."

Vriska actually stops in place, staring. You keep walking, aware of Terezi's laughter.

Dice click and you spin, darting out of the way of her rapier's lunge. Terezi isn't laughing anymore. Luckily, you know how these fights will go. Vriska, however, does not. You watch her feet and dance back, pulling on more Telun elements of your form. In the past, you hadn't realized how lucky Telun's were until Eridan had made a comment about it. As you are now, Vriska's fighting something that she just can't leech all of the luck from. The tactic comes with a slight brittleness of your bones, but with your functioning powers and, hey, wouldn't you know it, _luck_ , you always come out on top.

You step onto a transportilizer, salute mockingly at Vriska's bared teeth, and land in the main transportilizer room. You swiftly step onto Tavros's transportilizer, since you know Vriska wouldn't think you'd use it and Tavros granted you access when you expressed an interest in fiduspawn, and take the back pathway to get to the transportilizer that'll take you to the library. You arrive extremely pleased with yourself and, whoop, hey, Rose and Kanaya are here and they haven't noticed you and you should probably give them their privacy so you swiftly slide back to the history section where Eridan installed a miniature transportilizer. You step onto it and land in Eridan's block, then take the hallway to get to yours.

You stare at yourself. You grin and wave. Eridan looks between the two of you with a shocked expression.

"Hey," you greet.

"Hi...?" Your eyes flick down to your neck. For past-you's comfort, you swiftly equip a scarf to cover them. You don't think Eridan saw. He never mentioned it to you if he did.

"Don't worry, everything's fine. I'm just fixing the loop. You'll get to do this too." You smile reassuringly and you uncertainly smiles back. "Okay, first off, our uniform can change according to our mind. Very useful when we're fighting. You'll get the hang of it. Which leads me to my next thing, Vriska's about to barge in and she'll want to fight. Don't worry too much and use a smaller axe."

"Why am I fighting Vriska?"

"I pissed her off. She deserves it, on account of her putting the trolls in this whole mess, and killing Tavros, and, you know, creating Noir, but hey, who's counting. Not like that's a big thing. By the way, don't tell Karkat I told you that. He'll find out later, act surprised when he tells you, don't let him beat himself up because he will. If all else fails, set Dave on him." You think for a moment. Eridan's mouth is hanging open and you remember thinking that the other you could have been more tactful. Definitely correct. "Oh, right! Give him back Ahab. Use the code on Ahab and on the wands and combine them. It's a very useful weapon. Real lifesaver. Also, remember the name Lord English. It'll be important."

There's a banging sound that is probably Vriska.

"And yes, I really could have handled this better. We'll feel like that a lot. In general, we're bad at handling things in reasonable ways. Don't worry, overall, we are way okay," you assure yourself. You don't look particularly convinced. "Okay, gotta go find Dave. See you when you're me." You wave and backpedal, returning to the transportilizers and sneaking around Kanaya and Rose again. You think Rose sees you this time and she raises one eyebrow, but you're fleeing before she can say anything. She analyzes you enough as it is, thank you very much.

Dave turns when you land and he, like his ectotwin, raises an eyebrow. "I'm just so cool, you had to have my shades, too."

"Yeah, they're pretty epic. I don't know, though, I think I wear them better." You pull out the paper and hold it out to him. You can almost see the surprise on his face when he sees his own handwriting.

"Trying out the time travel, then?"

"Yeah, but it's really not my style. I'm not musical enough, you know?"

Dave smirks before he goes back to expressionless. "Want me to send you back now?"

"If you could. Oh! Please, also, use some device and ping the handle SmokingTrickster enough that he answers you. I think that you're the best choice for it, with your word play and rambling, and after I, past me, that is, blocked him, he shut down a little, and someone needs to get him out. Make me talk to him, okay?"

Artaon blinks a smiling face in your eyes.

"Sure thing. I am the rap machine."

"Actually, that's, Squarewave, I think." Maybe that's wrong. You only heard the robot mentioned once. Dave looks at you and you wave a prong. "Just wait until you meet Dirk. It'll make sense then. Probably. I think."

Dave shrugs and pulls out his turntables, checking the paper. The music mixes around you and you close your eyes, opening them as your axe lands in your hands and you strike another green man, this one twitchy and thin. If he's surprised to see you, he doesn't show it, and you listen absently to Karkat's shouting as you grin and charge.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so my readers know, I really like having people comment. Like, seriously, it makes me really happy. I write a lot of private stuff that I might publish like as paper books someday and a lot of times it feels like it's not going anywhere and reading your comments makes it feel like I'm doing something good with my writing, because if even one person likes what I'm writing, it's worth it.

===> Go back to being Lyllani in the present/past

Fuck, time travel is confusing. You aren't going to be referring to yourself as present/past or future/present or past/future, just so we're clear. You are Lyllani and that's all there is to it. Even if you're not covering your scars and smiling like you used to smile and shrugging and laughing and poking at Vriska. She seemed so...unlike you.

You did like your scarf, though.

"You! Pay attention! We're supposed to be fighting!"

"Doing your best Karkat impersonation?" you ask, and you hear Eridan laugh from where he's standing by Terezi. You're on top of the meteor and Vriska has been shaking dice in her hands for some time now. You think that she's waiting for you to draw a weapon, which is nice of her. You look through your specibus and finally pull out a lightweight axe with some reinforcement on the blades to keep it from breaking with your kind of wild swings. It was actually one of your first weapons, and you like to think that Veritan was happy that you'd picked something that could be so harmless. Jokes on him, you only got worse from there.

Vriska rolls the dice and flings them. You step back and blink as a pile of stuffed lusii appears. You look at Vriska, then at the pile.

"Vriska, I didn't know you felt that way, but, please, I'm with Eridan," seems like the right thing to say. It was odd seeing yourself. You looked so...happy. You don't think you look like that. That's who you want to be, though. Happy. Relaxed.

"It was just a bad roll!" Vriska hisses. She's blushing brightly. You wonder what it was that you said to her that got her so angry in the first place.

"I thought you didn't get bad rolls anymore," Terezi said thoughtfully.

Vriska glares at her. "Stop it. I have all the luck!"

You pick up one of the lusii that's shaped like Eridan's lusus. You turn to show it to Eridan, resting the axe against your shoulder. "It's kind of cute." Eridan smiles faintly.

"This is just stupid! Fight me!" Vriska shouts.

You look over at her, then at the plush in your prong. There's no way you're about to do this. "Okay." Nope, you are. You throw the plush into the air, then swing your axe sideways so that its flat side hits the plush and bats it straight into Vriska's face. It hits much better than you expected it would and collides with her face, leaving her standing there with a shocked expression as it drops to the ground at her feet.

"Do I win?"

Vriska stares at you. You rest the axe on your shoulder again and glance at Eridan. When you look back there's a magic eight ball flying at your head and you swiftly swing axe again to smack it away. It flies off of the meteor. You switch your focus to Vriska as she spreads wings you forgot she had and darts forward, flinging more dice and catching what the fuck is that Bane?

You dive to the side and roll, checking again the weapon her dice gave her. Yep, that's Bane. Relking axe won't leave you alone. You should probably get it away from Vriska before the vines get into her skin.

You lunge forward like you're aiming for her feet and straighten up when you're close to her, almost nose to nose. You drop your axe so the grip slides down and you're almost holding the blade and the handle slams into her wrist. She lets out an angry shout that sounds a little like Eight! and drops Bane automatically. You sweep up the axe and toss the smaller one skyward as you equip gauntlets that you think will prevent Bane from getting past your skin. You catch the smaller axe and switch prongs so you're holding Bane in your left prongs and the smaller one in your right.

You wonder for a moment why Bane has a name but none of your other axes do. Weird.

"This is a very dangerous axe, Vriska," you say. "It's taken a lot of lives that didn't need to be taken."

Vriska stares at you, teeth bared and wrist clutched to her body. She finally snarls and straightens, brushing back her hair with a haughty expression. "Well, I guess _someone_ on this meteor actually knows what they're doing. You're free to go."

You blink at her, then shrug and return both axes to your specibus. You put Bane in a slot toward the center since you usually automatically draw from the edges. You remove your gauntlets and study Vriska for another confused moment, then you walk over to Eridan. His fins rise questioningly, but you shrug and head back to the transportilizer. If Vriska doesn't feel like fighting more, you're not going to protest.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, UFUT!

"Oh shit!" You scramble to catch Gamzee as he falls straight toward you from the vents as you enter your block. Eridan joins you, his new Ahab's Dualwands stuffed into his specibus as he grabs Gamzee's other arm. "What was that, Gamzee?" you cry, releasing the clown and stepping quickly back. You blink in surprise when you see that the scratches on his face have become nothing more than scars. Maybe it's an indigo thing. Or a Gamzee thing.

I knew you'd catch me, Lylsis," Gamzee replies with a smile.

He's not wrong, but you still huff and smack his arm as you go past him to drop into your pile. Eridan pulls out Ahab's Dualwands again and looks around for something to shoot.

"So, what're you motherfucking up to?" Gamzee asks you.

You pause, then say, "Actually, I was thinking about trying a dimensional hop to see if I can find Jountos."

Gamzee stares at you. "Motherfucking miracles," he declares after a moment. You laugh and close your eyes, thinking of the form you've seen in movies. You didn't really get a good look at Jountos, and you hope that the films are accurate.

In true Gamzee-an style, you swear loudly as your form shifts. You can tell that they're supposed to be something big, just from the way your back tries to spread and your joints pull against each other. Makes sense, when they blend with the shadows to move, but you don't need to blend for as long as they do.

"Lyll?"

You open your eyes, popping back into troll form. Eridan and Gamzee are both hovering in front of you, Gamzee looking intrigued and awestruck and Eridan concerned.

"I'm good," you tell your moiral. "It hurts to transform, but if you still want to come with me I think I can just get us through to the closest dimensional loop and change back quickly and it'll work."

"What do you mean, it hurts? If it hurts maybe you shouldn't do it. We can just find him later. He's bound to our session so he'll attack us again here anyway, right?" Eridan's fins flare more and more as he speaks.

You pap his face. "I've got to try. He hurt people because I didn't deal with him properly in the first place, and if I can do anything to, at the very least, _annoy_ him until we get where ever we're going. Do we know that, by the way? Where are we going?"

Eridan sighs and shrugs. "I'm sure Kar knows, but I was too busy flipping out about you, you know, almost being dead to find out." Eridan pouts. He's been doing that a lot lately. It's bizarrely adorable. A pout of mass destruction.

"Well, we should find that out."

"Hey, Lylsis," Gamzee says, and you both look at him. "You don't really know what the motherfuck you're doing with the motherfucking hopping and all, right?"

You nod. "But I think it'll be okay, because when I changed for that moment I kind of got this idea of how different realities are all big rings, sort of, and they orbit each other all at the same time," you spin your claws slowly in opposite directions and level them next to each other, "and when they're next to each other just right you can just slide over to it. But there are so many that there's pretty much always an alternate universe right next to this one, all the time. So, yeah, I'll probably be able to hop over well enough."

"But what about getting back here?"

"Oh, I just need...oh." You stop. You need something, specifically something alive, you can focus on. If Eridan wasn't coming with you, you could trust him to hang around the pile and give you a clear enough image and space to return to that you'd be able to actually safely return, since the transportation just doesn't work if the location of return is blocked. But Eridan is coming with you, unless he changes his mind.

"What is it?" Eridan asks. He's making the low, bubbly chirp that means he's nervous.

You pat his hand reassuringly and think for a moment. "Clerats are a lot like Teluns, but they don't die when the one they're connected to does."

"Wait, what."

"Clerats bind themselves to something, like a pet, or a mate, and when they travel they can go back to the place of their bound one at will if they don't want to wander. Normally, I'd make that you, but you want to come with me, so that wouldn't work."

Eridan hesitates, then says, "Then I'll stay."

"But you don't want to stay."

"Well, yeah, but if it's better for me to stay here..." Eridan looks down.

Gamzee prods your arm with a claw. "Hey, Lylsis, if I just stuck around right here, would I be able to do it so you and Eribro can go off on your miracle hops anyway?"

You look at Gamzee, thinking it over, then around your block. "I'd be asking a lot of you. Asking you to just stay here and wait for us to get back everytime we left."

Gamzee shrugs. "Sure thing, Lylsis. Just grab some of Karbro's movies and some paints and I can get my miracles on and wait for you."

You look at Eridan, who shrugs and nods. It's a good way to make sure the cherub isn't in Gamzee's head, too. It'll give him a task that someone else is relying on him for, which has the potential to outweigh any sway the cherub could have. You think you'd also like to find out who Lord English is, since you mentioned that name. You'll need to remember to do that when you get sent back. You're still trying to decide what to do with the Vriska information, and you think Eridan's the same way.

"Okay. We can help you move some things in, and then try the first jump, yeah?" You look over at Eridan and he grins and nods.

"We're gonna track down that spiny fucker and kick his motherfucking ass."

Gamzee honks a horn and tosses it to you, grinning wildly.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by UFUT http://archiveofourown.org/works/477092 if you haven't read it you really should. I'm going to try to limit spoilers.

You land and turn into a human faster than you can actually process. The resulting whiplash has you reeling and you slump to the ground. Eridan catches you with an alarmed shout and you try to process the information rattling through your mind. Most of it bounces back with a resounding  _what the fuck_ because trolls are apparently something like pets and servants, lab rats for the mutants who aren't lucky enough to get an owner but are worth studying. Sea trolls are expensive since they're highblooded, as both pets and lab rats. Definitely a what-the-fuck world.

In a strange, jumbled sort of way, you know where the you who belongs to this world is. If you close your eyes you can see her, or maybe see through her eyes, standing before a collection of ominous men in black who have the strangest sort of comfort to them. You think that she's human. Just...regular human. Weird. She's far away, though, and you think that maybe it's better to avoid yourself unless you see Jountos, anyway.

"Lyll!"

Your eyes snap open and you look at Eridan. Your first thought is that you need to get him a hoodie so that he can hide the horns, but then you realize that if you're seen with a highblooded troll, people are going to think that you're rich, which might make it easier to get your way. You stand, equipping a shirt that would have been intended for Arcatha, made of rich materials sort of like human satin. The skirt that should go with the shirt follows naturally and you grab onto Eridan's shoulder as heels pop onto your feet unexpectedly.

Eridan stares. "Uh...you okay?"

You smile quickly, releasing his shoulder and taking a few experimental steps. You're in an alley, neatly out of sight. "Yeah. I'm good." You've got a bit of a muted headache, but you'll live.

"Alright. Ready to go?" Eridan hovers close to you and you consider that passing out and changing into uncharacteristic clothing is a bit of a warning sign.

"Yeah, but first, listen to me." You wait until he's dragged his gaze from the sky, where the sun is out and shining. "Trolls aren't free here. They're on Earth, yes, we're on Earth, but they're like pets. There's still the caste system, but it's also used to calculate the value of the trolls, so you need to stick close to me. I'm human right now and no one knows the difference, and I think in this I look about as rich as Arcatha always wanted to be, so I don't think anyone will mess with us, but you need to be careful."

Eridan stares at you. "Pets," he finally repeats.

You grimace and nod.

"That's fucked up."

You nod again.

"And you just know this?"

"Vital information for survival. It's what we do best."

Eridan looks like he's about to be sick. "And humans just let it happen?"

"There might be some against it. I just get the basic information that I need."

Eridan holds out a hand and you look at it in confusion for a moment before linking your fingers with him. The two of you leave the alley and you almost laugh at the look a man in odd, pointed sunglasses gives you immediately.

"So, what's the plan?" you ask Eridan, looking forward.

"You don't have a plan?"

"Do I  _look_ like I have a plan?"

He looks at you thoughtfully. "You look like one of Ter's chalk boxes melted on you."

You frown over at him, noting out of the corner of your eye that pointy-shades is following. He's doing a good job, hanging back, looking casual, fading into the background. "I'm thinking, if you want to blend in, you find people who won't question you. Maybe look for people who are alternates of us. My game, I mean. I can sort of see through my own eyes, and while I might be involved with mobsters, I don't think he was there. Maybe if I can find Treckta..."

"His Truth?" Eridan's fins twitch up. "You think he'd look for her?"

You shrug. "It's not impossible. I don't like it, but maybe if we looked into obituaries. Human death records, I mean. We might be able to see if there's someone who looks like Jountos or Treckta in human forms who died."

"He kills her once, kills her again?"

The idea hurts deep in your chest, but you nod. "Maybe." You glance at a sign as you're walking and tug Eridan's arm lightly so that he follows your lead as you turn. You don't know if it was actually necessary, since he's been walkign with you pretty well so far.

"There's a problem, though." You look at Eridan and he continues, "I don't actually know what either of them look like."

You stop for a moment, smacking yourself in the forehead. "Of course! Treckta's  _dead_ and Jountos was a fucking spine monster!" You groan and start walking again, seeing pointy-shades appear around where you turned. He's doing a really good job not being noticed. You think you might not have seen him in the first place if not for noticing him for the first time.

"Okay," you sigh. "We'll worry about that in a minute. Right now, how likely do you think it is that someone connected to our sessions would find us right away?"

Eridan shrugs. "It'd be pretty unlikely, I think. More likely than magic existing, less likely than Vris having a change 'f heart."

"Oh, please, we both know the spider doesn't have a heart."

Eridan laughed, fins flaring and gills bubbling. "Got that right, Lyll."

You grin, pleased that you got a laugh from him, and say, "I'm asking because we're being followed." Eridan straightens up immediately, claws tightening around your hand. He doesn't look back, though. "And I doubt he's following us just to say hello."

Eridan hisses under his breath and you see his claws twitch, no doubt for his specibus. He suddenly pulls your arm, muttering, "Fucking humans bein' so fuckin' fragile and we can't make a fuss when we just got here, now, can we?" You follow him into the side street, then down another one, laughing quietly when you realize he's just taking them at random. He finally ducks into a shop that you think has Chinese food, and tows you behind an aquarium with interesting, pale fish.

"I, can I help you?" asks a confused voice.

You look over at the waitress, who is staring at you with reasonable confusion. You look at Eridan, the tank, then at her again. "My troll wanted to see the fish. He likes them." You don't like saying 'my troll' but it seems like a good excuse.

"You got any cuttlefish?" Eridan asks, looking at her. She jumps when he speaks, but you're pretty sure trolls have the same level of intelligence as humans, they just aren't given the opportunity to express it.

Her dark eyes flit between the two of you for a moment, then she focuses on him, pitching her voice higher and gradually dropping it back to normal when he looks at her in confusion. "Well, no, sweetie, it'd be rather difficult to take care of them in the proper conditions."

Eridan sighs. "Okay." He glances at you and explains, "Fef culled cuttlefish some."

"Aren't some cuttlefish venemous to humans?" you ask, addressing both of them because either might know.

Eridan shrugs, but the waitress, whose tag reads Tammie, says, "Yeah, they are. They might have some of the same venom as the blue ringed octopus."

"Octopus," Eridan repeats.

"Less monstrous horrorterror," you supply.

Eridan shudders, looking into the tank again. "Fuckin' horrorterrors, even humans have them."

Tammie smiles uncertainly, addressing you as she says, "Where'd you get him? He's very well spoken."

You have no idea how to answer that. Her smile grows more uncertain and you guess that your expression told her that you had no idea how to answer. "We had a mutual friend," you finally say, because it's kind of true.

Eridan's fins twitch and he turns, looking over at the door. You follow his gaze and tense when you see a shadow with pointed shades pass by. Tammie is openly staring.

"Do you have a back door?" you ask.

"Well, yes, but it's employees only." Tammie looks over at the kitchen.

"Can we please use it?"

Tammie hesitates and Eridan says, "Look, some guy is following us. I don't even know how he kept up with us this much!"

She sighs, brushing back a lock of hair. "Yeah, okay. And, uh, I know that the fish trolls are a pretty big deal, right? Maybe get in touch with the rescue guys. They can probably help."

"Rescue guys?" you repeat, moving toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, there's this group that seems pretty cool in the area. They have a Troll Rescue Society, and a few really cute little trolls. You can probably find it if you look it up online."

Something else to do in the library. "Okay. Thank you, Tammie. Um, if you happen to see me again and I don't recognize you, please don't take it personally. I have a  _really_ bad memory sometimes." With that, you duck through the kitchen with Eridan, not responding to a startled call from a few chefs. You come out in a side street and lead Eridan toward a big, important looking building. You loop around the building and stop, blinking at the sign.

"Hey, it's the library!"

Eridan snorts at you, frowning as he points at a sign. "No trolls," he comments dryly. "Fuckin' land dwellers."

You look flatly at him. "Really? That's where you're going with this?"

He shoots you a cheeky grin and you roll your eyes, jabbing his arm with a finger.

"See, this is why I need a coutan. They're great. Adapt to any surrounding."

Eridan shrugs, looking around. He suddenly grabs your hand around, mouth falling open. "Lyll. Is that Kar?"

You turn, following his gaze to a playground. Sure enough, there is a small troll with nubby horns playing on the swings. But...very small. Like, toddler small. Barely out of wriggler-stage small. You open your mouth to reply, but come up a little empty because he's tiny so that can't be Karkat, can it? Then, a human stands from a table and strolls over, picking him up. The human turns toward you and you blink.

"That's Karkat, and that's Dave," you confirm.

"Is, is Kar  _cuddling_?"

"That would appear to be what is happening."

"Is that  _Sollux_?"

You watch the second scrawny troll appear from a playset and run to Dave. Dave is talking to a few other humans, smiling, actually smiling, not sort of awkwardly quirking his lips.

"Hey, doll, ho-"

You are much more surprised by the voice than you should be and you spin, punching the troll right in the face. He yelps and staggers back, giving you full view of his bright purple attire.

"I think you just punched my ancestor," Eridan says.

"Well, there are ghost versions of them, so it'd make sense," you answer dumbly.

The troll straightens up, nursing his nose. He opens his mouth, then stops and stares at Eridan.

"If I have an ancestor that means I'm not human, right?"

"I would think so," you confirm.

"Good. I can't imagine being one of them."

"Eridan? Wh-What are you doing here? Who's this?"

You and Eridan look at each other. You probably should've thought about how you were going to interact with your alternates when you met them if they knew you, and this one definitely knows you.

"This is...my moiral?" Eridan says slowly.

"What? But, what about Peixes?"

"Peixes."

"Yes, Peixes! Your actual moiral and _owner_ ," the ancestor hisses. "It's not safe for yo-"

"Wait, Fef is  _human_?" Eridan interrupts. The ancestor draws back, blinking and Eridan turns to you. "Fef can't be human, right?"

"Uh," you reply thoughtfully.

"Right, because if she was human, then the Empress would have to be human too, and that doesn't even work. The Empress can't be human. Humans have such short lifespans!"

"That is true," you agree.

"And wait," he turns back to the ancestor, "I'm still Fef's moiral? We haven't broken up yet?"

"No?" The ancestor actually doesn't look that old now that you're studying him, and his distress is making him look even younger.

"Well, that makes no sense!"

"Eridan," you interrupt before he can start again, "she broke it off after you entered, right? If this version doesn't have a monster of a lusus that you need to be worrying about, it's possible that your moirallegiance is founded on a different basis and is stronger as a pale relationship as a result."

"But it's  _Fef_. There can't be a reality where I'm not at least a  _little_ flushed!"

You shrug. "I guess you would know."

"What the fuck," Dave says.

"That's what I'd like to know!" Eridan crosses his arms.

Dave looks at the ancestor, gesturing at Eridan. "What the fuck." He raises his hand to you. "Who the fuck."

"Ah, sorry. Lyllani," you supply.

Dave flashes you a thumbs up. "And again, what the fuck."

"Fucking shenanigans is what the fuck," Eridan grumbles. "Fucking shenanigans making no sense at all like they're really just one 'f Gamzee's fucking miracles. Hit me with a club now."

"That seems rather extreme," you reply.

Eridan screams into his hands.

"It appears that I unknowingly brought along Karkat," you say, and he shoots you a dirty look. You smile innocently and look down at a tug on your shirt. "Oh, right, there is a Karkat here."

"Tiny Kar," Eridan grumbles, following your gaze to the troll who has latched onto your shirt.

"You have Thollux's eyes," tiny Karkat exclaims.

You blink at him, processing the lisped version of Sollux. "Uh, yeah. Sort of."

Tiny Karkat beckons you closer and you stoop, bending forward so he can whisper, "Dave and Mr. Purple are really worried. You should tell them."

You draw back and stare. "You think so."

Karkat nods.

"What'd he say?" Eridan asks.

"He says we should tell Dave and Mr. Purple."

"Tell them what?"

"The truth, I'm assuming."

 "He doesn't even know what it is!"

You look down at Karkat. "I mean, Blood."

"Bl-ohh." Eridan fiddled with his scarf. "Does it work like that?"

"Hey, his blood is none of your business," Dave said to you.

You tip your head to the side, puzzled, then say, "Of course it isn't. He's hemo-anonymous. I wouldn't be rude about that."

Eridan's ancestor arched one eyebrow, the scars on his forehead darker with the motion.

"I'm talking about his aspect," you continue. "Our Karkat is a Blood aspect, and it stands to reason that this one would be too. Blood aspects rely on connections, and we're definitely connected. Or I'm completely misinterpreting him."

"Lyll, I think that was a bad place to start," Eridan says mildly. He steps forward, tipping his chin up. "Lyll and I are from another universe, an alternate reality. Lyll brought us here because we're looking for her former companion, who slaughtered a large collection of her friends and, and Kan, but she came back, and tried to kill Fef and Sol." Eridan pauses. "Lux."

"You called him Sol," you note.

"No, I didn't."

"Did too."

"No."

"You  _care_."

"Stop it."

 "You-"

"Shhhhush!" Eridan paps at your arm, flushing violet. You grin, but your focus switches quickly when you see pointy-shades. You shift your position so that you can easily be between pointy and Eridan. Eridan's ancestor is closer to Eridan now, but you figure that he wouldn't hurt Eridan.

"How does he keep doing that?" Eridan grumbled, looking around you at pointy.

"Who are you?" Pointy stops in front of you, features hard. Tiny Sollux comes out from behind Dave to latch onto pointy's leg. Huh. "I called Peixes Prime and she confirmed that Eridan is with her, so what? They cloning people now?"

"I mean, if you want to be-"

"Ectoclones don't exist outside the game, Lyll."

"Good point, but that wasn't what I was going to say." Eridan looks at you, brow furrowing. His eyes widen just as you transform into his copy and Dave springs back with an explosive swear. "Technically, I wasn't going to use words at all," you continue.

"How...what the fuck," Dave breathes.

You look at him, taking his form. Pointy shades mutters something about a survey and you shoot him a puzzled look, telling Dave, "I'm a shapeshifter. I can look like anyone, and I can take a form that I make mine from the appearances of others." Dave stares at you. "Of course, my eyes and my blood are both dead giveaways." You consider it for a moment, then reach out and slide the glasses from his face and onto your nose. You school your features into calm and stare back at him. "Sup."

Eridan chokes and bubbles, grabbing onto your sleeve and pressing his face into your shoulder to muffle his laughter.

"You know," you say, taking off the glasses and holding them back toward him, "you were the first human I ever saw, Dave Strider."

"What the fuck," pointy shades says.

Eridan scowls. "We created your planet. You should be worshipping us, not owning us as pets." His scowl deepens. "Fuck, I sound like Kar."

"It is a pretty shitty thing," you say, returning to your human form, brushing back your long black hair. Tiny Karkat is hold up his arms so you do what seems like the right thing and pick him up. "I mean, I didn't make Earth, he did. Any planet that I was supposed to make didn't end up happening, on account of the aforementioned companion killing almost all of us, by which I mean my fellow shapeshifters. And Kanaya. But in all fairness he should have been dead and up until that point I thought I was going crazy."

"That's something we need to talk about later," Eridan said.

"I'm going to keep dodging it," you reply.

" _Lyll_."

"Wait. Hold up," Pointy holds out both hands, "if you're saying you know us, why'd you run from me?"

You look at him. "Because I don't know you. Not yet, at least. If you're connected, like Eridan's ancestor...oh. You're Dave's brother, aren't you?"

"I, yeah." He's frowning.

"Sorry about your death," you tell him, because that seems like the right thing to say.

The silence that follows is rather uncomfortable and you think you could have said something better. Eridan's ancestor finally breaks it, asking, "Who do you know, then?"

"You want to know all of them?" You look at him. He shrugs, so you sigh and rock back on your heels. "Okay, I know Dave, Karkat, Sollux, Feferi, and Eridan, obviously. Also Rose, Kanaya, Gamzee, Terezi, Vriska, kind of Tavros even though we never really talked, Nepeta, Equius, and Aradia...bot? Was she just Aradia before she got soul-botted?"

"I don't think that's a word, but yeah," Eridan confirms.

"Those are the people from Eridan's session, at least. Want to know my players?"

"Players," the ancestor mutters.

"You know Dr. Zahhak?" Pointy asks.

You start to reply and stop. You look at Eridan, considering what he has told you about Equius, but he looks just as confused. "Doctor, as in, doctor-doctor, not a mediculler?"

"Well, a vet. But close enough." Pointy frowns.

"But what about his STRENGTH?" Eridan asks.

The humans stare at him. "Did you just yell strength?"

Eridan shrugs. "He always does. Did."

"Did," Pointy repeats.

"He's dead," you explain. "So is Nepeta. And Tavros. And Sollux is half-dead, because of more shenanigans, and Kanaya came back from the dead, but in a different way than I or Aradia or Vriska did. Or you," you add to Dave.

"I die?"

"Oh, yeah. A lot. But you come back, and you god teir. It's to be expected when you're that kind of time player."

"Next time we do this, we need to just not mention the game. This is getting ridiculous," Eridan tells you.

"What are we supposed to tell them?"

"I don't know! Not this!"

"You could say you're intergalactic space cops on the tail of a murderer," Dave offers. "Do the same little shifty-show and it's not like they can argue with you."

You and Eridan look at each other. "Technically, we don't have to tell them I'm  _not_ a Telun," Eridan says slowly.

You grin and focus back on Dave. "Thanks! That'll definitely be easier."

Dave slowly shrugs.

You clap your hands together. "Right, then. Does the name Jountos sound at all familiar?"

"We really could have planned this better," Eridan mutters.

"I take it Jountos is the guy you're after?" Pointy asks. "Do you know what he looks like?"

"In theory, yes, but he could be pretty much anyone."

"Really could have planned it better."

"Shush, Eridan. We just need practice. If all else fails, he'll be forced to eventually return to our reality anyway. It'll be risky without a set bond in place, but he  _has_ to do it or he'll start coming apart."

"What."

"I'm pretty sure I told you that."

"You did not! Will that happen to us?"

"No, because we have Gamzee. We just need to stay together so I can bring you back."

"Lyll, these are things we should have clarified."

Pointy holds up a hand. "While listening to you two spout your incompetence is fun, why don't you just give us your chum handle and we can contact you if we do run into this guy?"

You pause, thinking. In theory, it would work, but your native alternate might have the same handle. After adjusting Karkat so that he's steady on one arm, you pull out your husktop and the humans draw back in surprise, sensible when husktops are a little unsettling. "Sorry about punching you," you comment to the ancestor, opening up a group chat. You add Dave's handle since you already know it.

"I'm used to it," the troll assures you. "Where'd you get a genuine husktop?"

"Eridan alchemitized it for me. Put in your handle." You pass him the husktop and he types into it, then holds it out to Pointy. "What's your name, if I see you again?"

"Cronus. Nice to meet you."

"Ditto. So, if you're not from here, but we're in your world too, that mean there's a you here?"

"Yep," you confirm. "She's..." You close your eyes, concentrating. "On a bus right now. I'm not sure where it's going. It's hard to concentrate properly. She's definitely taller than me, though, which is annoying. Maybe she's just older than I am, because I think Dave's older than my Dave, and Karkat and Sollux are both definitely smaller." You open your eyes to see Cronus smirking. "What?"

"I didn't say anything."

"No, you and Eridan make the same face. What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," Cronus repeated, smirk growing.

Pointy delicately hands the husktop back to you and you type a quick 'hey' into it.

Dave pulls out his phone. "Orange," he comments. "Dirk uses orange, too. Yours is redder than his though." He nods toward Pointy, whose name is apparently Dirk.

"Good to know. I'm not even sure if this will work." You click the board name and change it to Mr. Purple and Tiny Karkat. Cronus gives you a look somewhere between pained and frustrated and you grin at him, adding Eridan's handle into the group.

"So, we message you if we see your guy, by which I mean hear his name and know that he isn't the native and we actually should be attacking him," Dirk says dryly.

You captchalogue your husktop. "Don't attack him. He'd kill you, probably. Just contact me." You think for a moment. "If you see a moving shadow or hear voices, that's a pretty good indicator of something that at least doesn't belong."

"Moving shadows and voices. Great."

You smile apologetically. "I'm sorry. I could have thought this through better, I know. The next one will be much better."

"That mean you're leaving now?" Dave asked, holding out his arms. Karkat easily latched onto him instead.

"Yeah. I'm not sure how long I can stay, and if I don't have a good plan and we've gotten contacts here, it seems like a bad idea to push it. If you see me again and you haven't contacted me, it probably isn't me."

Dirk shook his head with a sigh. "Alright. Sounds like that'll be interesting."

You grin and hold out your hand to Eridan, who swiftly takes it. "I hope I don't see you, if that makes it any better. I don't want you to have to worry about Jountos."

Dirk pauses, then nods minutely in response. You step back into the shadows and focus on Gamzee, shifting quickly and snapping back into troll form just as fast as you pass through the shadow boundary. You land on one of Gamzee's horns and almost trip, but it isn't anywhere near as disconcerting as going to a new world, so you catch yourself quickly.

"Hey, Lylsis. You find him?" Gamzee has been true to his word with the paints, only he didn't have any paint so he just obtained some oddly chewed on chalk. The wall of your block has a sweeping image of...something. You're not sure what. The colors are definitely interesting.

"Nope," you reply, laughing. "It was an interesting experience, though."

"We just need to prepare better for the next one," Eridan says. "Maybe write out what we want to say and practice."

You nod, pulling out your husktop. "Definitely. I'm not allowed to say thinking's overrated, got it?"

Eridan laughs. "Got it."

BL: Residents of mr purple and tiny karkat verse. Do you read me.  
TG: tiny karkat is an awesome name  
TG: but how big is your karkat  
CA: i dont see wvhy he hasnt cut it out wvith the mr purple.  
CA: if it wvasnt so damn cute id make him cut it out.  
TT: Present.  
TG: oh my god bro present are you serious  
TG: its not school its murder watch

You grin and show the chat to Eridan. Dave keeps rambling, but Eridan's grin tells you he gets the point. You don't know if it's Pelleon's technology magic or just plain shenanigans at work, but you have a way to keep in touch with alternates and that's what matters. Once you actually figure out what you're doing, you've got this.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Telun sex talk. A giant pestering fiasco.

**tentacleTherapist [TT] has begun pestering  BurningLife [BL]**

TT: I see that you have been online for some time now so I believe this is an adequate time to contact you. Do you have any engagement to be getting to? I understand that you and Eridan are, actually, doing something of consequence during our trip.  
BL: Yes i am available. Eridan and i have finished discussing the basic statements we should make on our next outing and i wanted to speak to everyone anyway.  
BL: If you were contacted by someone claiming to be a multidimensional space police officer how would you react. I would use my shifting to prove that i am not of a normal origin.  
TT: I believe I would exhibit a healthy amount of skepticism but overall offer my assistance. Kanaya has informed me of your complications with your fellow player, including mentioning that he killed her. I assume that this is who you are searching for?  
BL: Yes. I prepared poorly for our first outing.  
BL: I have a plan now. Thank you for confirming that it will at least somewhat work.  
TT: Gladly. Now, if you will please click the link that Dave has so kindly named.  
TT: fruity rumpus interspecies biznasty  
BL: Fruity rumpus. Biznasty.  
TT: Yes, I too see a level of ironic humor beneath the initial bewilderment and disgust.

**BL opened memo on board fruity rumpus interspecies biznasty**

BL: Oh i see what this is. Dave drew a lot of diagrams didnt he.  
**turntechGodhead [TG] responded to the memo**  
TG: hey we finally have the one true master of all things biznasty  
TG: the all knowing shifter of shapes  
TG: she who can be every bit  
TG: even your own  
**tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to the memo**  
TT: At the risk of interrupting a truly wonderful beginning of Fruedian slips, I believe it is best if you wait so that Lyllani may explain the process of Telun reproduction herself.  
**carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to the memo**  
CG: OH GOG WHY ARE WE GOING BACK TO THIS.  
CG: LET IT DIE ALREADY.  
**grimAuxillatrix [GA] responded to the memo**  
GA: I Do Think That There Is A Benefit To This Exercise In That We Are Able To Learn About Our Respective Players And Develop A Greater Understanding Of What We Can Expect From Each Other  
CG: ALRIGHT WE'VE LEARNED NOW LET'S NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN. IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S GOING TO SAY ANYTHING NEW. WE ALREADY KNOW THAT SHE CAN CHANGE SHAPES AND HER REAL BODY IS FRAGILE BUT HEALS FAST, WHICH, BY THE WAY, SOMEONE COULD HAVE MENTIONED BEFORE SHE RANDOMLY CHANGED FORMS AFTER BEING STABBED.  
BL: Sorry karkat. I was really out of it.  
BL: I like your drawings though. And how you described the quadrants.  
CG: GOG ARE YOU GOING BACK AND READING THAT SHIT? WHY? YOU ALREADY KNOW IT ALL.  
BL: Maybe but its different coming from someone else. Hold on for a moment while i send the link to eridan.  
**caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to the memo**  
CA: thanks lyll  
CG: WHY ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS. ISN'T EVERYTHING THE SAME FOR HER WHEN SHE'S ONE OF US AS IT IS FOR US NORMALLY?  
TT: Perhaps if you waited a moment, she would inform you. And besides, Telun's must have some kind of reproductive system that is exclusive to them. I am also interested in the organ that is supposed to determine their 'one true love'.  
CA: you dont have to read it if you dont wwant to kar  
CG: FUCK ALL OF YOU.  
TT: It appears as though neither Vriska nor Terezi are intent on joining. Lyllani, if you would like you may begin by answering the basic questions that were asked in the above history of the memo.  
BL: Okay. Please give me a moment to go all the way to the top.  
BL: Okay. In answer to karkats comment shifting creates an anatomical correctness. BL: And when we take human forms we can choose to be male or female and have the corresponding parts for that too. I identify as female but if i wanted to i could be male anatomically.  
BL: That says nothing about my orientation however which is something i am surprised you didnt talk about. If i wanted to anatomically be male but identify as female that would be entirely natural in telun culture.  
BL: Teluns dont naturally have an idea of sexuality like humans do. We view love as an exclusive relationship between us and another with no regard to the anatomical or identified gender.  
TT: I see. Would a Telun change themselves in order to fit the desires of their Truth?  
BL: While i admit that i cannot imagine making myself different exclusively for another being aside from turning to their form yes. If i found my truth to be human i might take a human form but that would be the limit.  
CG: MIGHT?  
BL: I enjoy being a troll. It enables me to be stronger and i think that it makes eridan comfortable which is a priority as his moiral.  
CA: wwhat no  
CA: lyll if you wwanted to be human id be fine wwith it  
CA: youre still my moiral no matter wwhat  
BL: Oh thank you eridan. That is very reassuring.  
CA: you shoulda said somefin sooner  
CA: <  
BL: >  
CG: THE TWO OF YOU ARE SICKENINGLY PALE. I AM SIMULTANEOUSLY INFINITELY ANNOYED AND INCREDIBLY FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU.  
BL: Thank you karkat. Youre right about how much better troll romance is than human romance i think.  
TG: what no  
TG: fuck just echoed the purple fish up there  
TG: but i dont have the ww thing  
TG: whats the deal with that anyway  
TG: like karkles is shouty so hes caps but the wwwwwwwww doesnt make sense  
TG: the stutter isnt even that bad man  
CA: its a perfectly good quirk  
CG: DID YOU EVEN HAVE A POINT?  
TG: right  
TG: troll romance makes literally no sense  
CG: FUCK YOU.  
TT: I warned you both numerous times before, and now, as promised:  
TT **has blocked TG from responding to this memo**  
TT **has blocked CG from responding to this memo**  
TT: Lyllani, please continue.  
BL: Okay. Even though teluns are the same anatomically and able to take part in sexual acts we arent actually able to reproduce through sex.  
BL: Teluns cant usually grow or shrink because we cant make new cells. The cells that would be required for impregnation or for the filling of buckets just dont exist.  
BL: I mean we could fill buckets but it would probably be with dead cells or something. No use to the slurry.  
BL: Im going to change the subject now because i think maybe this wasnt the best thing to talk about this much. Sorry eridan.  
CA: no no its fine im fine  
TT: The point of this is to learn how each of our species function, Lyllani. If Teluns are unable to reproduce through typical means, how do they reproduce?  
BL: Right so you know how cherubs reproduce. They basically fight with their magic slash eternity and then one fertilizes the others being so that the loser can go lay the eggs.  
TT: I cannot say that I do, but I am certainly intrigued.  
BL: Oh. Right.  
BL: Well yeah. Thats how cherubs work.  
BL: Which i guess is relevant since well probably be fighting one. Yay.  
GA: Lyllani You Do Not Need To Be Embarrassed About Assuming We Knew  
GA: If Anything I Am Honored By The Slip Because It Suggests You See Us As Your Comrades When Previously Your Comrades Had Only Been Other Shapeshifters  
GA: You Are Still Welcome To Express Yourself In Any Way You Desire Considering Your Species  
BL: Thank you kanaya. Teluns are kind of like cherubs.  
BL: We connect with our truths being and through an exchange of lifeblood we are able to reproduce. Teluns actually have very little pornography of what you might consider our natural sexual actions because of that.  
BL: Unless the lifeblood is poisoned every connection and exchange results in the creation of a new life and that would be annoying to have a pornographic shot that results in a wailing new existence. Unfortunately it does make it very easy for teluns to be bred as warriors because a connection can be as simple as meeting and wanting to create a life.  
BL: Trying to force lifeblood on another telun is very bad. In media it is how mutants are created though i do not know the truth to it.  
BL: It is not something i like thinking about. It is only a small comfort that i am an ectobiological existence and not one of any true lifeblood.  
TT: I notice that you are saying lifeblood rather than blood. Is there a difference?  
BL: Lifeblood is blood that creates new life. Regular blood is what sustains life.  
BL: Lifeblood comes directly from our luxtru. Regular blood comes from the core.  
TT: I see. This is an excellent moment to switch topics. What might you tell me about a luxtru?  
BL: It reacts to others in order to tell us of our truth and releases a series of chemicals that allow us to start growing and aging again. When our truth dies our luxtru ruptures and we die.  
TT: You do not age without a Truth?  
BL: Yes. And when we find one our luxtru regulates us to their biological patterns so that we may live to be as old as them.  
TT: What if your Truth is another Telun? Do Teluns have set lifespans?  
BL: I dont know. The only two i met are both dead though one is still causing problems.  
TT: I was unaware that our enemy is the one who had a Truth.  
And LooK how lIttLe it meant.  
TT: Ah, I see the elusive computer program has joined us. I take it that this is a touchy subject.  
BL: He killed his truth and then shrunk his luxtru so he wouldnt die. Like she meant nothing.  
TT: Might I ask, what else could happen if the rupturing of the luxtru does not kill the Telun?  
TT: If that is known, at least.  
BL: The mind breaks. We are not meant to find our truth and then live past them.  
BL: Another one grows as though it would fix what the first one has not done. Another personality develops to host the new luxtru.  
BL: At least that is what happened in the case i know. I would like to go now.  
BL: I dont want to talk about this anymore and i dont want to talk to him. Goodbye.  
BL **has ceased responding to this memo**  
GA: Him  
She means me. I TooK your advice and it didn't work. This was stupid.  
ErrOr **has ceased responding to this memo**  
CA: she feels bad about it i swwear shes just upset because it feels like no one trusted her  
CA: oh fuck he left  
CA **has ceased responding to this memo**  
GA: Wait Whose Advice  
TT: Well, that was a learning experience, if nothing else. I do have more questions, but I suppose that they can wait.  
TT **has ceased responding to this memo**  
GA: ...  
GA **has ceased responding to this memo**


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just think this needs to happen.

?BurningLife [?BL] **at ??:?? has begun pestering PAST caligulasAquarium [PCA]**

?BL: Um. Hi.  
PCA: wwho the fuck are you  
PCA: an wwhats wwith the question marks  
PCA: it cant say wwhen youre from or somefin  
?BL: I think its because im communicating past the point when everything happens. I cant really explain it properly.  
PCA: oh wwell alright then  
PCA: wwho are you anywway  
?BL: I dont think i can tell you. I dont think i did when i had this conversation with you in your present, and now that im having it in my present i dont think i can tell you.  
PCA: wwell wwhy not  
?BL: Because you never mentioned this to me. Maybe this is stupid and you wont even remember it.  
?BL: I just had to say something after i saw those other memos. I couldnt let you think that.  
PCA: think wwhat  
PCA: did kar put you up to this  
PCA: if its about me killin the angels you can fuck off  
PCA: theyre dangerous alright i knoww it  
?BL: I know. Youre right.  
PCA: wwhat  
?BL: Youre right. They are dangerous.  
?BL: In an alternate timeline where they convince you to stop, they kill you and karkat and a lot of others. Its a doomed timeline.  
?BL: Ive met a lot of doomed versions of you. I dont like it very much.  
?BL: It makes me feel like i failed you. Im sorry.  
PCA: wwhoa hey you dont have to apologize  
PCA: you seem pretty nice for an orange blood  
PCA: an i guess you need someone to glub with an thats okay  
PCA: you can glub at me i guess  
?BL: Im laughing right now. In my time.  
?BL: Its good laughing. Youre really good at making me laugh.  
?BL: Youre good at a lot of things. Im glad one of them is something as small as making me laugh.  
PCA: wwell thanks  
PCA: i dont think anyones evver said that before  
PCA: it sorta feels like evveryone wants me to stop doin stuff  
PCA: maybe not cause im bad at it  
PCA: just cause they dont think its good  
?BL: Dont worry. You do a lot of good.  
?BL: You save feferis life. And mine.  
?BL: You help gamzee make more of his paints even though you dont like it. You make a big perigrees eve fish buffet for everyone and you teach me how to shoot.  
PCA: i wwish youd tell me wwho you are  
PCA: it feels like you knoww me but i dont knoww you  
PCA: seems a little unfair  
?BL: I guess i can tell you one thing. But can i tell you what i wanted to say first in case you block me.  
PCA: im not gonna block you  
PCA: but sure i guess  
?BL: Eridan you may be lonely on lowaa but once you meet me i wont let you be lonely again. Im going to stand by you no matter what.  
?BL: I promise you. Im going to be here for you in my time and i wish i couldve been there for you where you are now.  
PCA: wwhoa  
PCA: i dont think anyones evver said that to me  
PCA: youre sayin all kinds of stuff that makes me  
PCA: uh  
PCA: nevvermind  
PCA: are you gonna tell me wwho you are noww  
?BL: Do you really want to know. I think youll be mad at me.  
?BL: I dont know if youre ready yet. And if you forget and you dont know now maybe im not supposed to tell you.  
PCA: come on dont be scared  
PCA: i actually like talkin to you wwhy would i be mad  
?BL: Because im your moiral. And even vriska complains about how pale we are.  
PCA:  
PCA: that  
PCA: youre lyin  
PCA: fef is the only person i wwant as a moiral got it  
PCA: an i dont knoww wwho you think you are sayin you could be my moiral just cause   
PCA: cause you know that stuff  
PCA: an you say nice things to me  
PCA: an i like talkin wwith you  
PCA: an i wwant to keep talkin wwith you  
PCA: carp  
PCA: youre tellin the truth arent you  
PCA: i actually pale quadranted wwith someone wwhos not fef  
?BL: Im sorry. Thats why i thought it would be a bad idea.  
?BL: Im sorry. I shouldnt have answered.  
PCA: shoosh i can tell youre freakin out  
PCA: i just need to think  
PCA: wwhat the fuck wwhyd i just shoosh you  
PCA: i dont even knoww you yet  
?BL: Heh. A diamond fit to be called one of gamzees miracles.  
?BL: Im sorry. Maybe i shouldnt have said that.  
?BL: Its sort of a running joke between us. But you dont know it yet.  
PCA: you wwere right  
PCA: im gonna block you  
PCA: i just  
PCA: i need to think  
PCA: i cant do this right noww  
PCA: ill unblock you later  
?BL: Okay. I understand.  
PCA: good  
PCA: an  
PCA: thanks for sayin that stuff  
PCA: cause youre right you know  
PCA: im lonely and no one comes and vvisits  
?BL: Im sorry i couldnt be there. <  
?BL: Im sorry i dont know know why i did that. Shit there should be an erase button or something.  
PCA:  
PCA: >  
caligulasAquarium [CA] **has blocked BurningLife [BL]  
**


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on http://aquariumstuckcollect.tumblr.com/ mainly by https://salihombox.tumblr.com/ some of which is https://salihombox.tumblr.com/tagged/aquariumstuck  
> The article isn't real.

You arrive in the new world with a much smaller information overload, which is good because Eridan proceeds to mildly flip out. He reels backward and runs into a tank behind him and whips around to stare into that tank. You look at the tank that you landed facing and Feferi blinks back at you, except she isn't quite Feferi. Her legs are fused like a tail and she has fins that fan out around her like a dress. She stares back at you as Eridan grabs your arm, gesturing frantically at the tank he'd struck. You turn and are met with a fish, small and fat, that is, without a doubt, Eridan.

 You try to hold back your laughter and fail miserably. Eridan trills protest as you laugh, and between the disgruntled Erifish and Eridan you end up sitting on the floor, wheezing and out of breath but still trying to laugh.

"Lyll! This isn't funny! I'm a- he's a fish!"

"Troll fish," you gasp. "There's a secret society of troll fish variations."

"This is even worse than being human!"

Erifish thumps against the tank and Eridan flips him off without looking, crouching to pout at you.

"Stop laughing, Lyll! This is upsetting!"

"Sh, shh," you pap his face and he trills unhappily, leaning into your touch. "Don't worry about it. We can leave if you want."

Eridan hesitates and you can see him thinking about it. He must really not like seeing a version of himself that's so different. You guess it's normal for you because of your shifting; any alternate is just a you that you could have been. You look at Feferi (Fefishy?) and imagine yourself like her. It would be natural. There's probably a mertroll version of you. You close your eyes, but instead of seeing through her eyes you see nothing. The faint, grayish darkness of your own eyelids. You open your eyes, blinking.

"I'm dead."

"What?" Eridan blinks at you.

"I'm dead," you repeat. "The me that should be here isn't here. I can't see her. She wouldn't be able to leave, so she's dead."

"Maybe she just isn't here yet."

You look at Eridan. He's forgotten his own discomfort, eyes wide as he stares at you. You nod. "Maybe."

"Oh my god, what the fuck!"

Hey, look, it's Karkat. Well, listen. You turn, pushing yourself up, and your gaze skips right over the gray dressed human before zipping back. Your jaw drops. Next to you, Eridan releases a distressed, bewildered buzz and his ear fins press to his head. Karkat, it's definitely Karkat, looks between you and the tank and Eridan and the tank and all around again.

You look at Eridan, but he's staring at Karkat. You nudge him and he blurts, "We're space cops!"

Maybe you should turn into human versions of the other players. Get him used to it. But there are probably different forms you'd need to account for, like tiny Karkat, who definitely looks different from this Karkat. You make a note to tell the Mr. Purple chat group about the alternate Karkat.

"Right, like my partner said, we're space cops," you continue. "We're looking for someone who is much taller than you, taller than everyone, and talks like he knows everything and can't be wrong. He has eyes that look like they're made of gold, like this one." You point at your gold eye, shifting into a human appropriately. Karkat wheezes.

 Sollux strides around the tank, eyes glued to a clipboard. He is also human. Eridan's buzzing increases in volume. "KK, make sure-" the lisp stuck around, you note, "-that you get GZ's tank. He and Tavros have been making a mess during their practice for the events."

Karkat wheezes incoherently as Sollux walks right past you and Eridan without looking up. You turn to watch him as he stops and lifts his head, then turns slowly. He stares at you for a long moment, then says, "I'm going to kill him."

"Unless it's Jountos, I think that'd be counterproductive," you reply.

Sollux blinks twice. "Did he somehow bring that asshole back, too?"

You pause. "Jountos is dead, here?"

"Yeah, and so are you! What the  _fuck_ is going on?"

Eridan looks sharply at you, the buzz cutting off with a frantic chirp. "You're actually dead? But why would someone want to kill you?"

Sollux hisses and rakes his hair back. "Who are you, really?" he asks sharply.

"Space cops," you answer. "I'm the space cop version of the Lyllani you knew, and I'm hunting for my version of the Jountos you knew because he went crazy and proceeded to kill a bunch of people, including, half way, my version of you."

"Half way."

"You're half dead," Eridan snips. "But that doesn't matter! Who killed Lyll?"

Sollux pauses, glancing over at Karkat. He looks back at you. "Come on, KK, KN should probably be the one to explain."

Karkat breathes in sharply and nods. "Right, yeah." He hurries over, stopping in front of you briefly. "Good to see you, again." His gaze flicks to Eridan, then he follows Sollux, muttering, "How sure are we that your idiot genius brother didn't do this?"

Eridan stomps after them, form reading aggression, so you follow and pap his face to calm him down. "I don't want to calm down," Eridan growls. "Someone  _killed_ you."

"Eridan, I've died before," you remind him. "If you decide to have a vendetta against everything that has ever killed me, you're going to have an entire planet on your hands."

"Then I'll kill the whole planet!"

"Eridan, no." You pap his face again and he glowers darkly for a moment before sighing and briefly wrapping an arm around your shoulders for an awkward half-hug. You laugh and press a kiss to one horn before he lets you go and he lets out a grudging chirp.

"I'm still mad."

"That's okay. Just no homicide."

"Well, what if it wasn't humans?"

"Eridan."

You pause passing a tank and look at the troll-fish inside who has a strange metal contraption on his tail. He seems just as surprised to see you, but a moment later he smiles and waves. You wave back and point curiously at his tail. He flips in the water and gives you a better view. It's not  _on_ his tail, it  _is_ his tail. It looks well made, and seems to work well for him. You look at his horns, making a mental note to look for an Equius ancestor. This one, at least, seems nice.

Eridan and the others are getting away from you, so you wave again and hurry to catch up. You meet them by an open doorway and peek in to see that Kanaya is sitting at a desk, immersed in something on a computer. Sollux knocks and she looks up.

"Yes?"

Sollux opens his mouth, then shuts it again and looks at you. He finally steps back and motions you forward. Eridan takes the lead, immediately declaring, "I want to know who killed her!" and you step in behind him and rap a knuckle across his horns.

"Don't be bossy."

Eridan huffs at you and looks away.

Kanaya stares at you, a hand over her mouth. "Lyllani," she breathes.

"She says she's a space cop," Sollux mutters. "Stupid name."

"I like it," you reply. "Dave and Dirk Strider came up with it, though."

Kanaya sweeps out from behind the table and rushes forward, hugging you tightly. Your arms are a little trapped, but you try to hug her back anyway. She's also a lot taller than you, probably older, in this reality, too.

"Of course they did," Karkat mutters. "Fucking Striders."

"Stop hugging my moiral and tell me who killed her so I can go kill them," Eridan hisses. Kanaya withdraws, startled.

"Eridan," you scold, and he pouts.

"...Gently kill them?"

"Eridan."

"Can't I at least shoot them?"

"No!"

"But they  _killed_ you."

"Yes, and I doubt the fish version of you cares, so you also shouldn't care."

"Yeah, well, the fish version is fucking stupid! I bet he's stupider than past Kar!"

"Hey," Karkat mutters. He pauses. "Okay, I mean, past Karkat is definitely an idiot, but I'm the only one allowed to say that."

Eridan groans noisily.

"What, exactly, does 'space cop' entail?" Kanaya asks.

You focus on her. "We're tracking the version of Jountos from my reality. He killed most of my former companions and, you, but you came back, and half killed Sollux, but he was only half dead. He-" You stop. "He has  _white_ eyes, not gold eyes, because he's dead! I can't believe I just remembered that."

"Fucking ghost eyes," Eridan grumbles.

"If he's dead, why is there a problem?" Kanaya asks patiently.

"Because he's using a form that lets being dead not matter, which is also only made possible by a game that we played, I think. He's probably avoiding us by moving through realities like this, so we're trying to track him down and kill him more permanently."

Kanya presses her lips together. "I see. I assume you would ask us to watch for him?"

You nod. "It'd be hard, because we can change, and he can change his size, but the white eyes would be a pretty big giveaway. We can't change our eyes."

Kanaya nods. "I see. How might we contact you?"

You pull out your husktop and make a new board that you call Erifish, passing it to her. "Put your tag into that. I don't know how, but it works."

She types as she says, "You were killed by a man who calls himself Lord English." You straighten, recognizing the name. "He is a poacher of the mertrolls and you went out with a collection of your companions, against your brother's wishes, to attempt to stop him from discovering a cove of mertroll walruses. You were successful, but sustained many injuries from your assault on his ship and died shortly after your return. We had some interactions previously and you had been interning here with the companions I mentioned previously, including Jountos, Fearran, and Ketrian. They all went out with you, but Ketrian reported that Fearran and Jountos planted a bomb in English's vessel and were unable to escape before it detonated."

"Ketrian is alive?" you ask.

"Yes. And aside from missing a hand, he is doing well. He may be here today, if you want to see him."

You hesitate, then shake your head. "If I'm dead here, no good will come of him seeing me. I'm sorry that you had to." You glance at Sollux and Karkat as you speak and Karkat huffs.

"At least some version of you is alive," he snaps. "I still don't know why you thought leading that suicide mission was a good idea."

You blink. "I led it?"

"Well, she did." Karkat frowns, gesturing vaguely.

"What about Ketrian?"

"What about him?"

"He was the leader in my reality not me."

Karkat scoffed. "That's debatable."

"Lyllani, is Ketrian dead where you come from?" Kanaya asks.

"Yeah," you say quietly. "There's only four of us left. If Arcatha is even still alive, and if you don't count Jountos."

Her eyes widen. "What happened?"

You shrug halfheartedly. "Jountos lost his mind, decided we'd be better off ruling all of existence. Ketrian disagreed, so Jountos crushed his head against a wall."

Kanaya looks sick, stepping back. "What?"

Your mind finally catches up with your mouth and you stand there, blinking back at her. Finally, because your mouth is getting ahead again, you say, "Hey, at least it was fast. He just speared Pelleon and moved on."

"Lyll," Eridan murmurs, reaching out to lightly touch your face.

"Yep, not sure why I said all that," you reply. Your hands feel like they're bloody and you look down and see silver.

"Lyllani," Kanaya says slowly, "how old are you?"

"Four," you answer automatically. "No, eight. Because I flew for four cycles."

"She's six," Eridan says. "That's what she is in sweeps."

"Wait, no, humans use years, so I'm almost thirteen."

"Thirteen! That's, like, an adult!"

"Not for humans. Besides, they're adults."

Eridan's head whips around and he looks at the humans. "They're adults? So humans don't even molt?"

"No, not really."

"But how do they grow?"

You pause. "My knowledge is about culture and society, not about anatomy."

Eridan frowns and opens his mouth, then stops. "Lord English," he says. "Isn't that the name future-you used?"

You consider it. "Yeah, I think so. So does that mean this guy is going to be an endgame enemy?"

Eridan nods. "I'll kill that version for killing you," he decides.

"That, I'm okay with."

Eridan grins dangerously.

Kanaya looks between us thoughtfully. "I'm sorry the two of you had to go through something so horrible at such young ages," she says. "But it seems like you are good for each other."

Eridan puffs up proudly. "You bet we are," he declares, and you have to laugh.

"I will be sure to contact you if we see Jountos again," Kanaya continues to you. "Please be careful. Veritan took your death poorly, and if he is still alive in your reality, I would hate for either one of you to lose the other."

You nod, even as you remember how Veritan had spoken to Eridan. "I'll do my best," you say at last. "See you in my reality."

Eridan grabs onto your arm and you step back, hearing Karkat grumbling as you travel back to Gamzee in the meteor. Gamzee's asleep on a horn pile, so you and Eridan don't bother him, moving over to your own pile. Eridan falls back onto it, frowning.

"Lyll, you'd better not die again."

You look over at him, retrieving your husktop. "I can't promise that, but I'll do my best to come back."

Eridan scowls. "Just don't die and we've got a deal."

You smile and look at the Mr. Purple board, where there's a blinking icon. 

TT: Check this out.  
TT: https://www.fullobit.org/name-search/jountos-tervati  
TT: This your guy? Not the most common of names, got to say.

You click the link and a picture of Jountos in human form, black and white, pops up. You scroll down and skim the article. He's dead. "Jountos from the reality where Karkat and Sollux were kids is dead, too," you say.

"What, really?" He scoots over to look.

BL: Yes its him. Thank you.  
BL: Hes dead in the other reality we visited too. Im not sure if its means anything though since i was also dead.  
TT: Noted. I'll see if I can find any others. You have a list of names for me to look into?

You look at Eridan. "Should I give him troll names, too?"

Eridan nods. "Sure."

You type out the names, coming up blank on a few last names for your session. To your surprise, Dirk responds fast.

TT: Aw, shit, Vriska Serket is one of yours too?  
TT: She's dead.  
TT: There were these troll fighting rings and she was a big fighter in them. This guy called Scratch was the head honcho. He's dead too, killed in the prison.  
TT: I'm pretty sure Tavros Nitram is a troll she killed. Terezi Pyrope was the chief prosecutor in the Scratch trials. Feferi Prime is Eridan's owner, and we have a Feferi who's Zahhak's girlfriend.  
TT: That's the best I've got right now, but I'll look into it some more. A few more ring a bell so I'll start there.  
BL: Okay. Thank you for the help.  
TG: dear god that is way too much orange to open my phone into


	47. Chapter 47

"What do you mean, you don't know who they are?"

You shrug, not moving as Eridan braids your hair while you sit on the couch in the main living area. "I know who they are for your game because of what Eridan has told me, but I don't think they existed in my game. I've never heard the name Jack Noir not connected to Bec Noir."

"But they're, like, a requirement. You need to have the Dersite Archagents."

"Maybe not for truly doomed sessions," you say quietly, and Karkat's eyes widen. Eridan shifts to look at you with a soft churr and you smile at him. He ducks back behind you to continue with a smile of his own.

"So, if you didn't have them telling you what to do sometimes, who was it that you had instead?" he asks.

You think for a moment. "I think I remember one voice, but..." You press your lips together. "It's the one that told me how to heal the tree." You look down at your hands, curling them slowly into fists.

"What tree?" Karkat asks. "You mean your world quest?"

You nod. "It was the Tree of Life, and it had been cut in half by the Axe of End, Bane."

"The one you have?" Eridan asks, voice alarmed.

You grimace and nod again. "That one. I got it off of the dead planet that was probably supposed to be Reeihvo's or Keirtal's." You remember the way the planets had looked, drained of life and wasteland-flat, with only the gates and blackened bed to decorate it. And, Bane.

"Their planets were there even though they didn't make it in?"

"Yeah. But I guess them dying made it so that the planets were pretty much useless, so they died, too. Skaia never fully formed, either." You pause. "There was still a king we ended up fighting, though."

"Frankly, I'm suprised you managed to do that! How'd it go?"

You hesitate. "Short version? Fearran woke up and flipped out. Made this...sound," when you wouldn't let him attack head on, "and it was like the king melted. It probably would have killed the rest of us if he hadn't just been aiming at the king."

"Talking about more ridiculously overpowered buddies of yours?" Dave strides into the room and Karkat lets out an exaggerated groan and picks up his romance novel again.

"You know it," you confirm. "He's also probably Gamzee's god, though, so be careful what you say." You grin.

Dave moves behind you, checking out your hair. "Please, we're all gods here," he says.

"Warrien and Fearran are literally immortal, though," you explain. Karkat looks over his book at you. "He lines up with a lot of Gamzee's beliefs, too."

"But it's not like he's actually some kind of two faced psycho god, right?" You hesitate and Karkat groans again.

"Speaking of your buddies," Dave continues, plopping down next to you and pulling out a laptop. "You should have a good, long, chat with this one." He presents a screen laced with green and red to you. You blink, processing it for a moment, then glare at him.

"Oh, yeah, I love the idea of talking to Pelleon's spybot."

"I think you should try it," Eridan hums, and you shoot him an irritated look. Traitor.

"Hey, I'm just saying what the future you told me to say," Dave continues. "Besides, the guy is _wildly_ depressed by your shunning, and if that doesn't say something..."

You glare at the screen. "You're lucky I still feel bad about our first meeting," you snap, snatching the laptop from him. You switch to your account because no way can you stomach typing in red.

BL: Alright. Make your case fast because im still mad.


	48. Chapter 48

==> Be Pelleon

You are Pelleon. You're dead, which is expected, but sooner than expected. You actually kind of like being dead because you're in a position where you can just...relax. You'd never been able to do that in life, always rushing about, first in research, then in your machine, which had only confirmed what your research told you. Then the game. You'd even ended up rushing into your death, though you wish it could have gone better. You could have gone without seeing Lyllani shift into a byorg, like you, possibly in an attempt to comfort, and sob electric tears as she failed to save you.

She didn't deserve that.

You had figured out pretty fast that nothing you did while you were dead had any real relevance. You'd met a few other versions of yourself who confirmed that. For the most part, you hang around the beach. Beaches are nice. The waves crash rhythmically and you imagine music to go with them.

You've seen a few others from your session, including Jountos. Multiple versions of Jountos. Always with Treckta. The first time you saw him he had grinned and greeted you, but his smile dropped when he saw your eyes. He asked you how you died. You hadn't been sure how to reply because it clearly wasn't _this_ version of him that had done it. Turned out, he had been killed by Fearran (unsurprising) and when he died, Treckta did too because of their luxtrus. You stopped keeping track of how either one of them died after meeting the first few.

You've also come across a few trolls, including one that Lyllani, also in a troll form, was with. That version of Lyllani looked younger than you remembered her and you found yourself wondering if she had been the one to die rather than Reeihvo or Keirtal. You hadn't asked and she hadn't told. The troll was an odd one, though, stuttery and shy with positively _massive_ horns, and he had asked you to join an army to fight the one who had been destroying dream bubbles. You gave him your contact information and he and Lyllani had vanished.

Trolls come to mind because there's one walking toward you across the sand, and from the glint of his eyes you almost think he's a live one. He's not walking so much as hurrying, just fast enough to not fall in what you've learned is deceptively slippery sand. His scarf flaps behind him and you have a full view of his shirt, which has the same sign as Ampora the (incredibly rude) flirt/greaser. You think you've seen this troll before on occasion with the troll Life player. His name is something like Erikaan...you think.

But, wait, trolls have six letters, so maybe it's Erikan?

"You're Pelleon, right? The Rogue of Space?" He's slightly flushed and definitely alive, glancing behind and around you like he's expecting something.

"Yes, that's me," you confirm. A human comes from the treeline behind you and you recognize him as a Dave. You're not sure if he's an alive Dave, but from the way the live troll looks at him they know each other.

"I gave her some shades and she booked it," Dave says. "This him?" He looks you up and down, you assume, through the shades.

"Why would you give them to her?" the troll moans. "I was gone for almost no time!"

Dave shrugs. "Hey, man, she's your weird cuddle girlfriend. You're the one who ditched her to find Kanaya after she got an emotional bomb."

Erikan looks like he's about to cry. "She wanted to talk to Kan and she wasn't answering, so I went to look for her! Gam was the only other one we knew was around and he can't do it! Vris could catch him again!"

"I think the murderclown would be okay."

Erikan snarls. "Don't call him that. It wasn't his choice. Besides, she was still there when I brought Kanaya back and they just talked about fabrics."

Dave holds up his hands. "Alright, bro, I got it. All I'm sayin' is that this could have been handled better. Maybe you're freaked for no reason and she just needs to run it off."

Something pings and they both pull out little communication devices. Erikan slumps with a breath of relief and Dave lets out a short sound that's almost a laugh. You look between them curiously, focusing on Erikan again as he moves over to Dave. Then, to your surprise, Arcatha appears in the bubble and walks over to him without looking at you. She's wearing glasses like Dave's, so you assume that she's the one they were talking about, and, to even more surprise, she hugs the troll.

"This is a terrible idea," Erikan says.

Arcatha smiles and paps his cheek, prompting a pale chirp, and if you had human eyebrows they would have just skyrocketed. This is very un-Arcatha-like behavior, but the size is appropriate and you don't see why anyone would pretend to be her anyway. Arcatha turns to you and her shades glint as her staffs drop into her hands. She sets her feet back and you jolt into action as you recognize the stance, grabbing your expanding shield from your shieldkind specibus. Her staff reverberates off of the shield and you shove against the attack, releasing the kinetic energy just as quickly with a boom.

Arcatha flies back and twists in the air, getting a staff into the ground and twisting herself around it so that she ends up slanted sideways, looking at you with a curiously blank face. It's definitely Arcatha. She's the only one who has ever been able to recover so quickly from your rebound attack, and no reasonable Telun willingly stays in your true body except for her, because she can't change out of it. You envy her mutation a bit, her near unbreakable body and ability to simply change her appearance rather than her form.

"Arcatha, what are you-"

The staff she was balancing on snaps straight suddenly and she leaps off of it, ejecting another staff and pushing off it and sailing over your head. You raise your shield an instant too late and she rolls to a halt with a broken staff while you hiss and rub your shoulder. She tosses the staff to the side.

"Hey, man, you'd better fight back, or she's just going to be more pissed," Dave comments.

"But I don't even know why we're doing this! It's ridiculous and irrational and-" You stop and stare as Arcatha turns into Treckta, her body smoothly shifting to be shorter and broader. She's an elbrus, but it's not Arcatha's features on the elbrus, it's Treckta's. "What?"

Treckta's wires slip around her arms, glinting faintly, and you equip your armor. The wires lash out and you brace your shield in front of you, but instead of hitting you they sweep under the sand and send sand flying upward. You lower your third eyelid and look up, but Treckta's gone. You know how she fights, though, so you spin and catch the fist being thrown at you. A flicker of a smile flashes by and then she's holding your wrist and yanking and holy shit Treckta got strong.

She hauls you off the ground and flips you and you crash back into the sand, a laugh bursting out of you. It's been a while since you had a good fight in accompaniment with a good puzzle. You catch motion in your peripheral vision and roll to avoid the delicate darts that are driving into the sand behind you. On the fifth roll you rise to your knees and activate a pulse of energy in your gloves to shove yourself to your feet and out of the way of the darts. You look over and Treckta has become Veritan, a tealish cherub who uses relking 'pointedkind'. You're still adamant that pointedkind is way too broad a category, but whatever.

He pulls out three butterfly knives and they flip across his hands in a blur and then shoot at you, one after another. You use your stick-shield to catch them all and they cling to the surface. You swiftly check the knives and discover that you recognize a grand total of none of them. This is definitely not Veritan, because he had made it a point to show you every knife he had early in the game for reasons you no longer remember.

Something hits your legs and you're on the ground again, this time hitting the water as well. Ketrian drives a spear into the ground by your head and steps back, letting you stand. He leaves the spear you doubt belongs to Ketrian and another one appears, spinning across his arms with easy skill even though you know for a fact that he only uses spears because they were Keirtal's weapon and he's guilty about Keirtal's death. It clicks that this is not technically Ketrian you're facing, it's Keirtal, but whoever this is doesn't know what Keirtal looked like.

You hold your absorbing shield on one arm and charge, slamming the shield into the spear to stop its spin and then jerking it up to hit Ketrian/Keirtal's jaw. His teeth click together and he jolts his head back, then grins and slams it forward to headbutt you. Unexpected. Ow. You allow your joints to expand to proper byorg arms and the spike strips on your armor activate. You throw a punch, the silver points of the glinting, and Ketrian ducks and dammit your legs just got yanked out from under you again.

Ketrian's weird specibus- lanternkind -glints as he pulls out a five-pronged candelabra that should really just be tridentkind or something. The candles flare brightly in a psychadelic burst and Ketrian spreads all four sets of wings.

"I hate this attack," you say to no one in particular and grab your shield-blanket thing that you made accidentally in an alchemitzer and wrap it around you completely. Ketrian's wings fold and the candles explode. You know that they splatter hot wax that causes hallucinations, and it's got to be the weirdest attack you've ever seen, but it's undoubtedly Ketrian's attack because you've never seen anyone else pull it off.

You lower the blanket and it's Fearran, or maybe Warrien but who cares, looking down at you, holding a mace over his shoulders with a frown. You look around, but none of the wax is around, and the two live players seem amused and unharmed. Well, Dave is amused. The troll just looks worried.

"Did you captchalogue it right before it splattered?" you ask, impressed. War/Fear nods. "Nicely done. Whichever one of us you are, you're quite good at mimicking styles."

Dave makes a quiet sound and you look over to see that the troll looks peculiarly smug. You look back at War/Fear and jolt as he turns into Lyllani, lifting up the shades and showing her unchanging eyes.

Oh, relk, you attacked Lyllani. What if you had hurt her?

Wait.

Lyllani.

Lyllani has the weapons.

Lyllani attacked you.

Lyllani just

What.

"What do you say? Think I can fend for myself?" Lyllani offers you her hand.

You stare at her hand, then at her. "How did you do that?"

She looks away, the mace vanishing. "You get ignored enough and you start watching, trying to pick things up. Incorporate different techniques into the same weapon and you get some pretty good tricks." She retracts her hand and lifts the sunglasses off of her head. "What made you think this was okay?" She drops the glasses on your chest and you pick them up, sliding them on.

RT: I told her the truth.

It takes you a moment to realize what it is and then something like relief flows through you. She still has someone watching her.

Lyllani hisses and you realize you said that out loud as the troll comes over and softly paps her face. She lets out a long sigh and leans into his touch, murmuring back and forth. The troll shoots you a glare and tugs her hand. She lets him lead her away.

Dave plucks the glasses from your face. "Okay, so, I get that there's some shit here I don't get, but, bro, she's pretty hardcore. She doesn't need to be treated like she's got your issues. If anything, it gives her more issues being treated like she can't do anything without getting hurt, and, I dunno, if she does get hurt, then that's a thing that happens and she bounces back." He sighs and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just think on it." Then he stands and he's gone down the beach to where an annoyed troll in gray is standing.

You watch Dave greet him loudly and the troll snaps back, but you smile because you know Truths when you see them. You look at where Lyllani and the troll vanished and frown, sitting back. She's just a kid. But so is Dave, and a lot of the trolls here if you're gauging their ages correctly. You let your blanket stay draped over you as you look out at the water and think.


	49. Chapter 49

You'd probably be screaming if you didn't have Eridan playing with your hair. Playing is a liberal term since he's sort of styling it, but it feels nice and its keeping you calm. "I'm not weak," you say for what might be the tenth time. "I don't need someone to watch me. And even when I had that, it didn't stop me from getting myself killed!"

"Well," your moiral says slowly. "If you were always that impulsive, I think I'd be more worried about you."

You huff and turn to press your face into his shoulder. He's such a nice temperature. "But it's your job to worry," you mutter into his scarf. "We worry and meddle and fuss about each other."

Eridan shifts so that you're forced to sit up and lightly paps your nose. "Exactly. Which is why I'm telling you that you need to stop provoking Vriska."

"And she needs to stop driving Gamzee into the vents and then turning the heat up."

"I swear, they've got to be swaying black." You both shudder. "But really. You've gotten lucky so far because she doesn't fight with you for some reason, but it's going to run out."

You roll your eyes. "Come on, I'm lucky! I'm not dead."

"But you could be, if you couldn't shift, or if your mutation was something different."

You pause, thinking that over. Huh. Teluns must be pretty lucky overall, evolving the way they did. Food for thought. "I bet Pelleon would have fought back more if I'd kept it going," you say. "He only used his rebound shield once! Can you believe that?"

Eridan laughs at you. "You proved your point, I think. Dave grabbed those iShades he made you, so make sure you get them back."

You salute mildly, sitting up as the door opens. You and Eridan both stare as Gamzee strolls in with some suspicious blue paint that might belong to Equius's corpse. You don't think about that too much, though, because he's wearing...something. There aren't really words to describe it. It's just, hideous.

"Get Kanaya." Eridan fumbles for his husktop. "And maybe Rose, too. This might be a Dave thing."

You're not totally sure what the details are, but Dave apparently sent Gamzee some kind of video that made the cherub gain access to his mind more easily, or as he put it, 'up and weakened my motherfucking beliefs, Lylsis'. Gamzee has, in response, been harboring a weird, almost hatecrush to Dave that pops up every time you mention the human. You're not sure what's going on, but Gamzee is in some kind of godtier knockoff with...a codpiece. You try not to think about what the purpose of the codpiece is.

"Gamzee," you say, standing from the pile. "Where did you get that outfit?"

Gamzee smiles. "My motherfucking dead bro," he says, and your mind goes to the mime-clown. "We had a good chat and I told him about your bro messiah and we decided I needed to prepare my true self and we arranged this magnificent piece."

Oh. Um. Okay. "But we're not going to see him for another..." Fuck what is time. "Two years." So much easier than however decimal point sweeps or cycles, even if you rounded up. Kanaya has been going slightly mad trying to think of a good gift for the human's wriggling days, not to mention Perigree Celebration done in the same style as a human Christmas. (You found some telun music tracks for Dave and alchemitized some items that look like Treckta's old materials for Rose. You have no idea what to do for the Perigree gift exchange for the others, though you have been working with Rose on a gift for Eridan. When Christmas was brought up Dave rambled about other holidays until Karkat fled to Can Town and Dave followed him. You keep making notes to go down there and see what it's all about and it keeps not happening for various reasons.)

"Oh..." Gamzee looks down at himself and he looks so disappointed that you feel bad for pointing it out.

"You can wear it when we're getting close, for sure! It just seems a little...early?" You glance at Eridan and he nods, stowing his husktop. Thank the skies.

"Then what'll I wear?"

"Your old clothes?"

He looks blankly at you. Yeah, that's what you were afraid of. Luckily, Kanaya takes the moment to make her entrance and immediately stops, staring in horror. "What, what, what is this?"

"This is his uniform for meeting my friend," you reply carefully. "But, in the meantime, now that he's shown us, he needs something new to wear." You look pointedly at her.

"Yes, of course. We, we shall quickly remedy this. Immediately." Her hands flutter about, then she grabs Gamzee's arm and drags him out. Rose peers into the room with a small smile and a wave, then follows her again.

"I hope we never see that again."

"Skies above, that was awful," you agree.

Both of your husktops buzz and you look at each other before pulling them out.

uraniumUmbra [UU] has created memo: u?u

UU: hello, loves, sorry to interrUpt, bUt might i ask, who are yoU?  
burningLife [BL] has responded to this memo  
BL: Im lyllani. Who are you.  
UU: i'm not able to tell yoU my name, i'm afraid.  
UU: it's jUst the oddest thing.  
UU: the other member of this memo is mr. ampora, yes?  
caligulasAquarium [CA] has responded to the memo  
CA: yeah thats me wwhy  
UU: well, i'm not qUite sUre how to say this, so i'll jUst be oUt with it.  
UU: miss lyllani, i do believe that yoU don't exist! and mr. ampora, i believe that yoU shoUld be dead! frankly, i'm qUite bewildered. i happened to catch a glimpse of the two of yoU while calibrating my screens bUt when i attempted to navigate more throUghoUt yoUr timelines i was met with a great deal of darkness in both past and present! it appears as thoUgh i can only catch the two of yoU, and only when yoU are together, and, while this might sound odd bUt i cannot find another way to say it, yoU have no fUtUre Until the moment that yoU make that fUtUre happen!  
BL: Wow. Well i have a guess for whats happening with me though i would like to know more about how youre seeing us.  
BL: I entered this reality through my own power. I do not actually belong here though i have changed the timeline in ways that i dont think have doomed us.  
CA: like savvin fef and not lettin me cull her an bein my moiral an wworkin wwith gam  
UU: how interesting! i'd love to discUss this more but i'm afraid that i'm rUnning on fUmes and i have several important tasks to complete before i am able to continUe! i'll be sUre to cheer yoU later! ta! 

uraniumUmbra [UU] has closed memo: u?u

You and Eridan look at each other. "We're never going to hear from them again, are we?"

"I wouldn't count on it. It'll definitely be interesting if they turn out to be a player, though."

"Yay, more game bosses," he says flatly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found this picture on pinterest and I can't decide which one is my favorite. I just really love Eridan and I want him to be okay and I'm not sure why but I do.  
> https://i.pinimg.com/564x/59/bc/4d/59bc4dc2e09d25f79561296afd4ecc0f.jpg


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh now that I know how this story ends I want to write that. And also the sequel. Also, wow! Chapter 50!

==> Be Gamzee Makara

You are now Gamzee Makara. Lylsis and Eribro went off into the shadows for the miracle hops a little while ago, but they've been gone for longer so you're not too worried. You've got your husktop out in front of you and you're waiting for your messiah to answer. He usually takes a little while, but he spoke in his miracle way and told you that it's because he's flying a lot and unless he concentrates he can't all up and feel the feeling that Lylsis makes that would let him catch up to you. You think that's another miracle in itself because she's got something so special to her that even your messiah can feel it and that's just motherfucking amazing.

There are some things that your messiah won't tell you about, like the Dark Carnival. He said that it was something from a long time ago, and his other side, the one that won't wake up, would tell you it better. You asked if he keeps his face covered and he took a long time to answer before he said that there was nothing left to cover since that part of his life was over. You told him that it was never over and the miracles would help him feel better, but if he didn't want to cover himself that was motherfucking fine with you. He told you that he wished the other side would wake up so that you could meet him, too, because he thinks you'd like each other. He says that a lot. The liking part, and the waking up part.

Kanaya made you new clothes that you think are pretty miraculous, too. They're the same color as your outfit to impress your messiah, same color as your blood. Your pants have large polka dots on them and there's a rage symbol on your chest, except she made the symbol merge with your sign. She'd asked you about other styles and you'd told her that you only wanted this one. She sighed but made you a whole lot of it, ordering you to change your clothes regularly and wash them.

Kansis sounds a little weird but she deserves it for the motherfucking miracle that she is.

Your husktop alerts you to a message and you look over excitedly.

CS: thE WAy spACE looKS This DEEp inSIDe it  
CS: IS CompARAble TO A pit  
CS: WHEn i tHINk of WHAt awAITs me WITh yoU  
CS: SO do nOT Be coNCErneD OF whaT I Will THInk wHEN i joIN Your CREw

You sigh a little. You'd sorta hinted at him what you motherfucking did early on, when you asked if you could keep his handle and message him again. Then you got to thinking about how he might rage at you more if he heard about if from the others, so even though you really didn't motherfucking want to tell, you did anyway. Then you told him what you were thinking about everyone else saying what you did.

You'd been really motherfucking confused by some of his miracle talk at first and had to keep asking what he meant, but he dialed it back some so that it looks more like some kind of rap and you could get what he was motherfucking saying. You're not so sure if he knows that this one could be a little motherfucking reddish, but you don't really mind it because Karbro is still mad at you for doing what you did and you're still mad at you for it too but having someone just to talk to is fucking nice, even if its pretty pale. 

TC: tHaNkS BrO. ThAt mEaNs a wHoLe mOtHeR FuCkInG LoT CoMiNg fRoM YoU.

You hesitate, thinking it over. Lylsis said that she was shipping you and your messiah pale, which is dangerously close to maybe being a heathen thought because who the fuck dates their messiah? But you'd told your invertebrother about it when he was getting you hooked up with the suit and he'd said that if the messiah chose her to be his speaker, which you sorta think he did, then her word is as trusted as every other that you believe. In the end, though, it's up to your motherfucking self. So, you set your claws on the keyboard again.

TC: <>

He doesn't answer, which you expected. What you don't expect is the fear you suddenly feel, wrapping around your horns, rich and potent and highblooded. You turn in time to see Lylsis and Eribro appear, both of them looking a little sick and Eribro radiating the fear. You know you could grab that fear and grow it, but there's not much you can do to help out so you just back off and keep your horns tipped forward just in case the fear makes him think attacking you is a good idea.

Running out of pies definitely helped clear up some parts of your head, you've got the admit. And the Lylsis with all the scars that almost made you want to get your rage on for probably did something to help fix up some of the parts you rotted off when she fixed up your cuts from what you did. You wish your lusus had been the one to tell you these things instead of finding them out for yourself.

"I, I did that, it's my fault, he's like that because of me," Eribro mumbles, practically collapsing to the ground. Lylsis holds him up for a moment, then lowers them both. She brushes her claws under his eyes and he trills at her and you look away because you're pretty sure they've forgotten about you.

"It wasn't you," she says. "You, this version of you, _my_ version of you, wouldn't do that. Relk, you'd probably cut him down before anyone could do that kind of thing."

The fear flickers, then roars back. "It's still someone I could be! And that was Sol! I let it happen, and just for, for what?" You hear a clang and glance over again to see that he's yanking off his rings. They've got Fefsis's colors on them and it surprised you a little that he kept them on when he started going strong with Lylsis, but she never seemed to mind. A ragged sob leaves him and he contines, "And Fef just let it happen! For the spread of her _new ideas_." He snarls the words even as he slumps into Lylsis.

"I'm sorry. I should have taken us back as soon as I realized where we were. I'm so sorry, Eridan."

"Don't _ever_ let me do that! If I become anything like him, you, you _stop_ me." He draws back to stare intensely at Lylsis. You look at her too and blink at the blood paints on her.

"I won't. That's what I'm here for."

"Lylsis," you say, and she turns. There's more blood on her front, yellow and Eribro's color purple and more. You blink and her god tier outfit changes, clean in an instant. "Where the motherfuck was that from?"

She hesitates and you can see her thinking of not telling, or maybe just telling something that isn't the truth. "In that reality, Sollux was a helmsman. We met Karkat and learned that Feferi was spreading her desire for peace, but using Sollux for it to the point that he was being killed. We." She stops and Eridan raises his prongs to her face, this time. She shakes her head and you take another step back.

"I get you, Lylsis. You don't need to tell more."

She looks at you with a grimace-smile, then lowers her head to rest it against Eribro's. You decide that they need some space and sidle out and up into a vent, crawling down to the space above the nutrition block. Dave and Karbro are in there, sitting next to each other and watching some movie, so you decide to just stay in the vents above them and check your husktop.

You messiah replied at some point.

CS: i dO NOt knOW What THAt meANS but I FEel  
CS: sO I Will ANSwer WIThouT ASkinG FOr a sPIEl  
CS: <>

You can't help the pleased, slightly awestruck honk. Dave and Karbro both look up, Dave with a frown and Karbro suspiciously, so you keep quiet and just smile at the little diamond sitting on your screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Pale Messiah sounds like a dating sim name.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that telun blood is kind of like mercury in its viscosity and flowy(i?)ness. This might also be my longest chapter, so how about that?

"Don't touch that! It's not _done_ yet!" Eridan smacks Gamzee's claws away from the platter. He alchemitized a variety of fish and has been working since last night period, preparing different fish dishes so that he can have a massive buffet. Almost everything is done and he's mostly just adding sauces to the display on the table. He's extraordinarily determined and just smiled and shrugged when you asked him about his drive.

"Aw, come on, Eribro," Gamzee complains. "You let me have some earlier."

"I gave some to Lyll, too, and you don't see her trying to snatch more! Look, she's being helpful!"

You look over at him, hovering in the air where you're holding the up alchemitized curtains while you clip similarly alchemitized lights to them. You're basing some of the decorations of of the wriggling day celebration for the humans, mainly because you liked how Kanaya had set up red and purple curtains to make the block more festive. You're going with deep green with reflective strange woven in, with little red lights that you alchemitized through a great deal of trial and error trailing down the curtains.

"I was motherfucking helpful," Gamzee protests, which is true. He helped you alchemitize everything.

Eridan shrieks and you drop the coil of lights, diving down after it. "Don't stick your claws in the bowl without at least washing them off! When was the last time you cleaned yourself?"

Gamzee moans and huffs, then stomps over to the sink. The stomps are for dramatic effect, but Eridan still glances over at you with a touch of nervousness. You smile reassuringly. You haven't gone into another reality since the Helmsman one, but you both rememeber who Gamzee was. You try not to think about it too much. Your Gamzee is different. He's better. And much less crazy, though you think that he might repeat his gift of Faygo (one cherry and the other grape) to Rose and Dave for the gift exchange you're doing for the Perigree Celebration. He technically only threw Dave's at Dave's head, though.

You're not sure what color Faygo he'd give you, though. There's an orange flavor, so you'd think it would be that, but he mentioned running out of the 'Orange Miracle' a little while ago. Eridan has been muttering, "Please not faygo, please not faygo," since the human's wriggling days. You're still a little surprised that Gamzee gave them anything, but you guess he did because you and Eridan both did.

You're not sure about what everyone else gave them since it wasn't as big of a gathering as this is. It was mostly, they hung around in public areas and people with gifts dropped by. For this, Kanaya is oddly adamant that everyone celebrates together. She had been trying to make outfits and set up the block both, so you'd offered to take over the decorations. She had almost cried and produced a suit for Eridan and Gamzee. You showed her a purplish-gold dress that Treckta made for faerals, a vaguely trollish form, and she had quickly modified it to fit a troll and you'd been set.

Since you're thinking of it, you equip the dress. Technically, you're breaking dress code a little bit because of the shades propped up on your head against your horns, but Dave's probably going to be wearing shades too, so you doubt it'll be a problem. Besides, it seems unfair to not include the program Pelleon made.

When you gave Dave the telun music track he gave you the glasses, reminding you that, 'hey, I get that you're ticked about being ignored by everyone and all, but consider that this guy probably doesn't feel too hot being ignored by you when you're pretty much the last he's got'. Yeah. You're such a hypocrite.

Artaon, as you've taken to calling him, doesn't talk very much. When he does, he uses RT for his tag, keeping the Trickster but deciding Reborn suits him better than Smoking. If he was smoking, he pointed out, there would be a problem. (And Pelleon isn't as goodlooking as he thinks he is.) He spends most of his time talking to another program named Hal from a different time, or maybe reality, who you think might be Dirk, but also isn't, so you're not sure what's going on there. Hal is apparently much better at multitasking than he is, so if he ever wants to say something to you he buzzes the shades, an application that Dave made, and you just flip them down to see what he needs.

"Eridan, Gamzee, don't forget to change," you call down, clipping some of the last lights into place. You fly down and turn them on, stepping back. It looks good.

Eridan groans and you look at him with a laugh when you see that he's tugging at his collar. The suit Kanaya made him is mostly black and violet and his sign is over his chest pocket, but to your surprise Kanaya lined the sleeves with silver and there are little silver diamonds as the cuffs. You fly over the table to hug him and he lets out a startled chirp, then returns the hug.

"You okay, Lyll? We don't have to be doing this."

"I'm okay," you reply, drawing back but leaving your arms around his shoulders. "I'm happy."

Eridan relaxes and smiles. "No one's dying this holiday," he promises.

"Definitely." You've gotten better at actually talking to him. You told him about Vresitaw, a telun holiday that your fellow players celebrated at the start of your game. Or...tried to. Ketrian and Arcatha got into a fight over Keirtal's death and then Fearran called them both idiots and said that no one had any choice in the matter anyway, which made things worse. It escalated. Ketrian shoved Arcatha, not wise to do on the Land of Cliffs and Birds, and she fell. Died. Jountos took her away and she came back god tiered. You only had one other Vrestiaw go by. It was uncelebrated.

You weren't really concerned about it, but Eridan's assurance makes you relax. He paps your cheek, then lunges to stop Gamzee from dipping a prong in the sauce. You turn and watch in amusement as he grabs Gamzee's wrist and examines his nails, then sighs and nods, releasing him. Gamzee grins and tastes the sauce.

Gamzee has changed into his own suit. It's almost completely indigo, but has white strips across the chest that button it and you're surprised to see that the left buttons are Nepeta's sign and the right buttons are Equius's. His own sign does not appear. You understand his guilt. You don't comment on it, pulling out a hairbrush from the Styling Tree and tossing it to him. He makes a startled honking sound when he catches it. You have no idea how he makes that noise.

"Brush your hair, Gamzee. It's a mess."

"Alright, Lylsis."

* * *

Kanaya walks in ten minutes later to find you and Eridan trying to remove the brush from where it quickly got caught in Gamzee's hair. She comes to a stop, blinking, and you all look at her. She sighs and walks over. "Lovely decorations, Lyllani," she says.

"Thanks." You pull out a small pair of scissors that are technically for moiknu nails and examine Gamzee's hair.

"I suppose that one gift may be delivered early, though it may be a bit meddlesome of me," Kanaya says, and pulls a bottle of leave-in conditioner from her sylladex. "I thought that it would be useful. Rose supplied the code, but, well, I'm afraid I wasn't sure what else would suit you well, Gamzee, and your hair is certainly..." She trails off, which says more than enough.

You and Eridan retreat and Kanaya spritzs the stuff into Gamzee's hair, then hands it to him. She pulls on the comb and it hesitantly gives. She patiently drags it through a few more times and you can tell by the end that you won't be getting it back. His hair still sticks up in the typical troll style, but now it's more orderly, and you're not wondering if he might be hiding something in the snarls.

Gamzee pats his hair and smiles. "Thanks, Kansis." He stores the conditioner in a flash of color.

"Of course, Gamzee." She smiles.

"Kanaya, could I talk to you?" you ask brightly, stepping toward the far wall's curtains.

Kanaya follows you, murmuring, "Thank you for what you've done, Lyllani. You've done a magnificent job."

You look at your hands and smile at the praise. You hadn't realized how much you had been comparing Kanaya to Treckta until Eridan pointed it out, and you feel a little guilty for overlapping them so much, but you can't help but imagine Treckta telling you that exact same thing. Yeah...if only. It never happened during the game, and it'll never happen now.

You shake yourself out of that train of thought. "Thank you, Kanaya. I need to ask a favor of you, though, if that's okay." Kanaya turns to you, something in your tone making her eyes fill with concern. "Vriska is going to come to this, and," you hesitate, looking over at Gamzee to try to think of how you want to phrase a very loaded favor.

"I will ensure that she does nothing to him," Kanaya promises, following your gaze. "I'm sure that Karkat would do the same."

"Thank you," you sigh. Rose's exposure to the horrorterrors and the influence they cast over her made Kanaya much more understanding about the cherub's influence over Gamzee. You pause, then ask, "Rose had a crystal ball of sorts that she lost, right?" Skies, you're hoping you remember her mentioning that correctly.

Kanaya smiles in a puzzled way and nods. "Yes, that's right. It was lost with her original body."

You relax. "Oh, good." Kanaya tips her head questioningly and you elaborate, "I made her a Sight Window."

"I'm sure that she'll love it," she said.

You grin at her, realizing that you're fiddling with the pointed sleeve of your dress and quickly letting go of it. Rose transportilizes in wearing a long, beautiful dress with a Light theme and you retreat to Eridan as Kanaya brightens, literally, and goes to meet her. He's rearranging plates and you shake your head fondly, shooing Gamzee's grabby claws away. Your shades buzz and you tip them down.

RT: I'll distract him. Pelleon downloaded stories about Fearran.

You pull off the shades with a smile and hand them to Gamzee. The troll blinks in surprise and puts them on. He's still for a moment, then he nods excitedly and wanders over to a chair.

Karkat and Dave arrive one after another, followed by the Mayor. Karkat is wearing a gray suit with a little red crab on the cuffs and his sign in black on his chest, and Dave is wearing what looks like his god tier outfit but more suitlike, the hood spread over his shoulders and the buttons of his suit each little gears. You're guessing Kanaya made it, but it reminds you that you need to experiment with changing your own pajamas.

You're still not sure what's going on with the Mayor, but apparently the white version of Jack dropped him off and a ghost Feferi healed him and he's just a member of your group. You have an empty Reilo can, with a glow in the dark brand name, that you're planning to give to him. He heads straight to Eridan and presents him with a can of tuna. You press a hand over your mouth and try not to laugh as Eridan slowly takes it. From the look Eridan just gave you, he forgot about a gift for the Mayor.

You might have an empty can in what you may or may not sort of consider your 'I might have a hoarding problem' tree. To be fair, that tree was really useful whenever Veritan got worried that you'd hurt yourself with something in your sylladex and asked you to eject everything. You could eject that tree, a clothing tree, and something else that looked harmless, like towels, and he'd relax and mumble about how you won't get hurt, you're always okay, nothing would hurt you, you're okay.

You check the sylladex and find a can with Borokololo on it. You're not even sure what that's from, but you slid it behind your back and nudge Eridan. He looks at you and relaxes, quickly taking it. He crouches and presents it to the Mayor. The Mayor lets out a squeak of delight and takes it, hiding it in his clothes.

He turns to you, black carapace shining, and presents you with an unlabeled can. You take it and he motions for you to open it, so you shift your fingers and drive your claws into the can's lid. It pops off and you're rewarded with a collection of oranges in sweet smelling juice. He must have talked to Gamzee to get the orange thing because you've never messaged him before.

"Thank you," you say, and give him the Reilo can. He makes another happy squeaking noise and stows it in his robes, making the sound again when it glows in his robe's folds. He runs over to Dave and Karkat to show them his spoils.

"Thanks for the can," Eridan says. "I forgot about him completely." He blushes faintly, grimacing at you.

"I only remembered he existed because Dave invited me to Can Town."

"What's Can Town?" Eridan's fins flare slightly, head tipping curiously.

"I guess he has a bunch of cans that he got from somewhere and he's building them like a town of his own. Dave and Karkat are spending a lot of time there with him."

Eridan looks thoughtfully over at where Dave has picked him up. Karkat is shaking his head, smiling fondly and trying very hard not to. Eridan nudges you and you nod, grinning. Before either one of you could verbally share this development, Vriska barged through the transportilizer, accompanied by Terezi. Vriska is in her cosplay outfit and Terezi is in a bright red dress that has probably been licked extensively.

"Alright, everybody!" You have no idea how, but you can see the 8 in her B. "Let's get this party started!" She proceeds to spot Gamzee and lunge at him, and Gamzee honks in alarm. Eridan has his dualwands out and he has fired at Vriska's feet three steps away from Gamzee. She is blown back and you note that he hit her boots as she rolls up.

"What the fuck, Eridan?" There are eights in that, too. How.

"Sorry, Vris, no fighting today, or you don't get presents."

Vriska stares at him. She opens her mouth, then stops and straightens up. "You got me a present?"

Eridan frowns. "Yeah."

She is quiet for another minute, then she asks, "Well, what is it? It'd better not be lame!"

Eridan scowls and pulls a box out of his sylladex, stalking over to her. He shoves it into her arms, then turns to Terezi and gives her a similar box, and then marches angrily back to you. You try not to laugh as you muss his hair, earning you an embarrassed, irritated chirp. He rakes his claws back through it, making the purple streak that you know by now is natural stick up, his own little mutation that he wouldn't have been able to maintain if it was really dye.

Vriska opens the box and gasps. You don't know what he got for her, so you look around to see that she's holding up a modified version of what she's wearing. The webbed skirt part has little spiders on the webbing and when she pulls out a black pair of boots you see that they also have spiders on them. You look at Eridan, wondering when he had time to make that, and he shrugs.

Terezi opens her box next and you predict that there will be dragons on what appears to be another cosplay outfit. You are correct; each dragon has a little red stone for an eye. Terezi licks it and grins. "Waterproof!" she declares with a cackle.

Eridan crosses his arms and grumbles, "Vris always complained that she needed another cosplay uniform and I thought you might too."

Terezi laughs louder. You move over to Rose to give her the window. She takes it with a gracious, slightly confused smile, and looks through it. Instantly, her form goes rigid and she glows faintly, bright and golden. You shoot Kanaya an anxious look and she smiles quickly and uncertainly, one hand pressing against the small of Rose's back.

"A voice of power will sound and death will be freed. Blood falls and strangers rise. The enemy lies too close yet will not be found and when life rises once more, new and old will become one and the past will mean nothing." She gasps in a breath and wrenches her eyes from the window. The room is silent. "Thank, thank you, Lyllani. This is a very powerful..." She trails off, evidently not sure what to call it.

"It's a Sight Window," you explain hesitantly. "I made it from one of Vriska's broken eight balls, a bag of marbles, a mirror, and a ghost scan of my eyes. Is...is it okay?"

Rose carefully touches the window. "Yes," she said. "Yes, it's very good. Thank you."

Karkat suddenly shouts, "I thought this hadn't been released yet!" and the three of you look over to see that he's opening something from Eridan. He produces a movie that you think you remember watching with Eridan at some point, even though it isn't open. (Dave is standing by, holding up a purple cape with an unreadable expression.)

"Well, not for lowbloods," Eridan answered with a shrug.

Karkat looks like he's about to cry and gapes at the movie. You turn to Kanaya.

"This is from Artaon," you explain, and hold out the drive disc. "He can travel his programming through time, so he went through and took copies of every conversation Treckta had that involved clothing and designs. There are some codes for fabrics and she has a lot of measurements and ideas that we thought you might like. Artaon had to substitute some letters in...Treckta kind of, avoided, vowels, so we wanted to make sure you could read it." She takes it and smiles. "And this one is just from me." You pull out the alchemitized novel, A Bleeder In Cratizisk.

Kanaya takes it and turns it to read the back with a puzzled expression and you anxiously continue, "I was told that you liked Rainbow Drinker novels and we didn't have that but teluns do have Bleeders, which are kind of like rainbow drinkers, except less glowy. I haven't actually read this one, but it's a new release, or, it was, back when I started playing, and I do have access to more by that author if you like it."

"Thank you, Lyllani. I look forward to reading it."

"You have a large variety of books, don't you," Rose comments.

"Yeah," you confirm with a little laugh. "I couldn't really go outside because of my eyes, even on the technically non-majority telun planet I originally lived on, no one had heterochromia. I got a lot of books from online sources, and when we started playing I took a bunch of ghost scans and alchemitized those with Pelleon's help so that I had hard copies and I went a little overboard."

Eridan comes over and you look at him with a smile. He returns it, handing Kanaya and Rose each a small box. You take a third with a note of surprised excitement and pull the ridiculously heavy box for him from your sylladex gift tree. Rose watches with a knowing smile, which makes sense when she helped you make part of the present.

Kanaya opens her box and makes a startled, pleased sound when she finds the variety of lipstick containers. Eridan grins at her and Rose hums thoughtfully as she lifts out notebooks in her text color. She smiles.

"Thank you, Eridan. These will be put to good use." Eridan straightens with a pleased chirp and blinks in surprise as Rose produces a knitted white beanie with his sign on it, which she hands to him. He shifts the box from you to one arm to take it, eyes lighting up when he sees the little holes for his horns. Rose turns to you and gives you a similar cap, this one a greenish silver color. The horn holes have buttons in them that make you smile. You slide it on around your horns and Rose gives a satisfied nod.

You open the box Eridan gave you and laugh, pulling out the soft, knitted scarf. "We probably kept you busy, didn't we, Rose?" you comment, wrapping it around your neck.

"I rather enjoyed having such devoted students," she replies.

Eridan chirps when he sees the scarf you made for him. It came out much better than you expected (maybe because you used Fearran's old gift a little). He pulls it out and runs his claws carefully along the violet diamonds, then looks into the box again. "The Complacency of the Learned?"

Rose draws in a startled breath, stepping forward to look as you explain, "Artaon gave me the code. It's a book from the world of the humans we're going to meet. He said it was wildly successful and when you've read it he wants to talk to you about it."

Rose is staring at you, now. "Did he say who he got it from?"

"Hal, probably, but I can ask who Hal got it from," you reply after a startled pause. There's something you can't quite place in her voice.

"Please do." She extends a hand to Eridan. "May I?"

He hands it over and you walk over to Gamzee. "Mind if I take Artaon back?" you ask, and he smiles and hooks the shades off, passing them to you. "Thanks." You pull out the bottle of your blood, which, by the way, is really kind of weird. "Happy Perigree."

Gamzee's jaw drops and he takes the bottle. "Motherfucking miracles," he declares, watching it flow around the bottle.

"Uh, yeah. I'm not sure if you can paint with it since it's so flowy like that, but I thought you'd at least like to try."

Gamzee looks at you thoughtfully for a moment, then pulls out a small container. He holds it out to you, oddly solemn. "This is my special stardust, Lylsis. Use it if you need a real miracle."

You gingerly take the container. "Wow, Gamzee. Thank you." You look down at it, aware that it means a lot more than you could fully understand. You return to Eridan, Rose, and Kanaya, still holding the container. Eridan chirps questioningly and you slowly say, "Gamzee gave me some of his stardust."

Kanaya and Eridan both churr in surprise, though Eridan's is several notes higher with a bubbling undertone. You carefully place the container in your sylladex, in the same tree that you keep a few of the horns Gamzee has given you but never taken back.

You flip down the shades. BL: Hey where did you get the complacency book. Rose is asking.

You get a few dots that mean he's busy, then, to your surprise, red pops up. TT: Why, hello. You must be Lyllani.

You hesitate, because TT is timaeusTestified, which is Dirk, or at least it is in the other reality. (Mr. Purple's Dirk has informed you that Veritan is dead and you are a frequent attendee of the Rise. You don't really know what to think about that.) But Dirk probably consistently has one handle and uses orange, so you're not sure what to make of the Dirk in red. Which reminds you that you're talking to who you guessed was the Dirk that isn't a human. BL: And you must be hal. I guessed that you were somehow related to dirk.

TT: I'm the better Dirk, actually. Electronically perfect, a wonder of existence. Also, a ghost scan of his thirteen year old brain.  
BL: Ghost scans for the win. Its nice to finally meet you.  
TT: I suppose I should say the same. As for the book, I obtained it from Roxy Lalonde. Her mother wrote it and she is quite the fan.  
BL: Thank you ill tell rose. Will you also be a player in the session we are approaching.

"He got it from Roxy Lalonde," you tell Rose. "Her mom wrote it."

Rose looks at you with a confused expression. "Her mom," she repeats slowly. "What's her mother's name?"

TT: As we are currently in the game, I can say with great confidence, no. I'm not a player, I'm simply an unfeeling pair of shades stuck to the face of an unfeeling creator.  
TT: My lack of a body of my own would most likely interfere with any attempts to be a player. On a brighter note, Dirk has promised to, at some point, place me in the empty kernelsprite we have at our disposal, assuming that we can continue dissuading the Spider8itch from prototyping the sweaty dead troll.  
BL: Rose wants to know the name of her mother. And also what.  
BL: You mean her. Spider8bitch as in vriska.

You look over at Vriska so the lenses can see her.

TT: Yes, that would be her. She has musical time-travelling gear. As for the mother, and this should be no surprise, her name is Rose Lalonde.  
BL: Right scratched versions. Dirk is going to prototype you to give you a body though right.

"It's you. Rose Lalonde," you tell Rose. She stares at you and doesn't answer, slowly focusing on the book again.

TT: He promised he would but I doubt that he will.  
BL: Oh. Well if he hasn't prototyped you by the time we get there, ill steal you and make him.  
TT: Wow. You're as oddly endearing and serious as he said you are.  
BL: How many sprites have another prototyping available. Theres four of you right.  
TT: Well, Tavrosprite has another prototyping, and so does Nepetasprite. Roxy's might be empty.  
BL: Then ill have to use roxys for artaon. Hopefully it wont be in use when we arrive.  
TT: You're just going to prototype him? Just like that?  
BL: Yeah. Then he could build a robot body and do the secondprototyping with that to have a more stable body of his own.  
TT: Holy shit. He really wasn't kidding about how your kind acts with this whole body thing.  
BL: Body thing. I dont know what you mean.  
TT: Nevermind. Is that Dave?  
BL: Yeah. Want me to go over.  
TT: I. Yes.  


You squeeze Eridan's shoulder and walk over to Dave and Karkat. You give Karkat the romance novel you thought he'd like. He blushes and shoves a pair of sickles at you, muttering, "Dave told me you've got a bunch of different specibi and I figured you could add sickles."

You take them and toss them up experimentally. "Technically, I've only got three," you tell him. You try twisting the one falling faster around your arm like a staff and it doesn't work, which is unsurprising. You catch it again, and the other one. "Axekind, Diamondkind, which is empty right now, and Jokerkind." You toss them higher this time and harden your skin, catching the blade around your wrist and sending the hilt whipping around and into your other hand. Nice.

"Jokerkind," Karkat repeats, slightly wheezily.

You look at him, concerned, and stow them in the specibus. "Yeah. Fearran gave it to me so that I could turn anything into a weapon and protect myself."

Dave whistles. "Overpowered."

"Am not. Anyone can have it as long as they know how to juggle weird shit."

He adjusts his shades. "Are you serious? That's the criteria? Juggling weird shit?"

"That's what Fearran said. Watch." You pull out a coil of wire, a candlestick, a staff, a spear, a sickle, an axe, a shield, and, after a moment of hesitation, a sword. Dave looks at you with a barely imperceptible rise to his eyebrow as you step back, shifting the bundle in his arms. You throw everything up at once and swiftly catch the wire and candlestick in the air, spinning them and throwing them up higher. You do the same to the sickle and axe, then the shield and staff, then the sword and shield.

"What the fuck, Lyllani?" Dave says, deadpan. 

You laugh. "He taught me how to juggle by starting with fruits that explode if you touch them for too long and we went from there. I might have a few of those, actually. Don't know how to prepare them, though."

TT: What the fuck am I seeing? You're like an apprentice juggalo.

"Ouch, rude, Hal. I'm sure that if you had a body and never had anything to do, you'd develop some weird skills. You pretty much hacked through Artaon to get into my glasses, but you don't see me calling you things."

When you catch the weapons you toss them back into your specibus, keeping the sword out and trying not to touch it too much.

TT: I didn't hack in. Artaon told me that you had a question so I redirected part of myself to talk to both of you.

You make an understanding sound in response to that and focus on Dave. "This is for you," you tell him. "It belonged to Jountos. It was the legendary weapon of his world." You hold it out to Dave. "It gives the person you're fighting a feeling of the pain before it strikes them. I think that it's meant to avoid conflict that way."

Dave slowly takes it and the blade turns a few shades darker red and the cloth around the hilt goes from tealish blue to gray. You press your lips together to keep from commenting because you're pretty sure that the blade is made for teluns in the first place, so it shifts to mirror the colors of the Truths. Dave definitely doesn't know this as he chuckles and holds the longer part of the cloth against Karkat's suit and says, "You match."

TT: You're making a peculiar face that seems to suggest that has more importance than you're suggesting.  
BL: It's a telun thing. Take a picture and ask artaon about it.  
TT: Hm.  
TT: I see. He informed me that it reflects ones Truth, or true love, soulmate, etc. What does it mean that it had no color when you touched it?

Yep there is the big question. You grimace, remembering when Veritan had told Eridan that your moirallegiance wouldn't last. The reply you hadn't been able to properly give to reassure Eridan.

BL: Maybe that i dont have one. Dont tell artaon that.

Vriska and Terezi are over by the fish buffet, so you head to them next, pretending you didn't just tell Hal something you can't even mention to your moiral for fear that...you don't even know. You had to enlarge Vriska's gift so that it was actually readable, and making it was a headache, but it was successful. Terezi was easier; you just found an online shop with dragon toys (unpurchasable but alchemitizable).

You produce both at once, Terezi's bright red rubber dragon with teal eyes and Vriska's 88 sided die.

"Whoa," Vriska grinds out, taking the die carefully. She turns it, counting. Terezi grins and takes the dragon.

"You're able to wrap it around your arm," you tell her. "And it's red all the way through, so plenty of lickable material."

She cackles. "This is almost as sweet as you smell!" She licks the dragon all over.

TT: Damn. She usually like that?  
BL: Worse sometimes. I flipped out a little the first time i saw her because i felt her blindness and wanted to heal it but i knew i couldnt.  
TT: Why not?  
BL: I cant heal much of anything. I could heal myself when i first got here and now i cant do that either.

"Damn, Lyllani! Didn't know you cared!"

TT: And I see that she is always like that.  
BL: Yep. Always.

Your shades buzz oddly like laughter and you walk over to Eridan, who has migrated to the table with Gamzee and is reading. He smiles and nods invitingly at a chair and you sit down next to him.

"Happy Perigree."

"Happy Perigree," you reply. "I've got another thing that I need you to not let me avoid."

Eridan looks at you with a briefly worried expression and nods. You smile reassuringly and he relaxes. This is good. This is how you diamond. This is good.


	52. Chapter 52

You're sitting in the common area, thinking. Dave and Karkat are at a table with Rose, though Dave and Karkat are doing something on a husktop and Rose is sitting with her back to them, drinking from a mug. Gamzee ran into Vriska and she made him act like a mind-controlled slave for a little while, which, frankly, is better than you expected. Eridan finally agreed to LARP, not FLARP, with Vriska and Terezi for a little while in exchange for trading Gamzee back. Gamzee's sleeping in your, locked, block, and since Eridan is off being social, you're also attempting it.

It's not going so well. Rose seems content with just sitting and taking sips, though you have noted that her face has been getting oddly red and she slurs a little when she speaks to Dave or Karkat, who are also content on the husktop. You don't want to bother them. So, you're thinking about taking a reality hop on your own. Sometimes you check in with the few that you have visited, but they give nothing new. Erifish-Kanaya invited you to Veritan's birthday party and you'd awkwardly refused, mainly because you couldn't really pop right into her reality, and also since you were dead.

You've also been avoiding talking about your maybe lack of Truth, which is...ugh. You've started it a few times, then derailed the conversation.

You look at Rose again.

BL: Hey can you tell whats going on with Rose. Shes acting weird.

To support you in that statement, Rose giggles spontaneously at nothing. She looks nice, so it could be just nerves. You're pretty sure she and Kanaya have a date.

RT: Well, in my professional opinion that is founded by only what I have past observed, I'd say that she's tipsy. As in drunk.  
BL: What. I didnt even know we had alcohol.  
RT: I can't imagine it tastes particularly well, but she must have alchemized something. I suggest you attempt to get her to stop.  
BL: Alright i will. Is everything okay you seem distracted.  
RT: Hm? Oh, yes. I'm handling it.

You look disbelievingly at the shades, then sigh and focus on Rose. You stand and walk over to her."Hello, Rose. You look very nice."

Rose blinks at you. She smiles. It's weird. "Thanks, Lyllllllani!" She rolls the L for an oddly long time considering you don't really roll it at all. "You know," she continues, "you've done some vrey, very, weird thinks to, things, to our timeline."

She looks at you like she's expecting an answer, so you say, "Really? Like what?"

Rose smiles. "You've introduced elements that, previously, did not exist. Eridan, for esample."

Esample..."But, yeah, I guess I have, because usually Eridan kills Feferi and then dies," oh, you do not like saying that, "but that was it, right?"

"Gamzee? My wimbow? The connection to the other session, however displaced in time is appears to be?" Rose laughs. "This! You are _very_ important, Lyllittty-bitty-lil."

You blink at her. "Oh. Thank you." You get up and move back over to your seat. You failed royally, but you also feel nice and fuzzy inside. But that feeling isn't valid. She's drunk. She didn't mean it. _She probably knew what you were going to do and lied to drive you away._

"Relk, I'm bad at this," you mumble into your hands, not even sure what 'this' entails. But no! You need to stay positive! Smile. Think of a plan. Who do you know that would barge in and smack that glass out of Rose's hands, lecture her about how bad that is, and tell her off for it, all before Rose could give a nice and fuzzy compliment of lies?

Ooh.

burningLife [BL] is trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

BL: Hello is this vriska. I encountered this handle before and recalled that you like eights and i know no one else who likes them as much as her.  
AG: Ugggggggh what do you want? You can't have the fish loser 8ack yet.  
BL: Ah yes hello vriska. Im not messaging you about eridan but im glad youre having fun.  
BL: We have a problem. I failed at handling it because i am clearly far weaker to praise than i thought.  
AG: W8, no, this isn't fun! He's just annoying! He and Terezi are getting in my w8y!  
BL: In your waity. I dont understand.  
AG: Way. Ugh forget it. What do you want? We're busy here, you know!!!!!!! This meteor won't explore itself!  
BL: I will type quickly then. Rose is drinking.  
AG: So?  
BL: Perhaps i should elaborate. Rose is drinking a version of human soporific that damages her cognitive abilities.  
BL: I tried to go over to her to ask her about it. She called me something like lily itty bitty little and i failed to ask her about it.  
BL: Vriska. Hello.  
BL: Vriska. Where did you go.  
BL: Please dont be ignoring me. Vriska.  
AG: Shut up!!!!!!!!

You look uncertainly at the message. Before you can think of a reply, Vriska barges in and storms right to Rose, smacking the cup out of Rose's hand. She stomps on it, yells at Karkat and Dave when they start to stand up, nods at you, and then starts yelling at Rose. You watch with an odd sort of fascination, wondering absently if she just ditched Eridan and Terezi. Your shades light up to answer you.

CA: hey lyll do you knoww wwhats goin on  
CA: vvris wwas complainin about you messagin her and then she ran off  
BL: Yeah shes here. I thought shed need to deal with something and i was right.  
CA: oh wwell alright ya knoww i wwas thinkin that youd probably like doin this  
CA: ter is okay wwith us joinin in if wwe wwant  
BL: I think id like that. We have to have some time with kanaya too for clothes.  
BL: Uh oh. Kanaya just got here.  
BL: Got to go. <>  
CA: <>


	53. Chapter 53

You decided that it was better to just go into the next reality alone. You didn't tell Eridan, but you didn't have to. He was having fun with Terezi and Vriska. Of course, the skies hate you so much that he had to show up right as you were leaving and he managed to tackle you, knocking your shades off in the process, and take himself along as well. You're currently lying almost on top of him, one hand over his mouth as you strain your ears. He looks pissed.

He shouldn't have come.

You roll off of Eridan and yank him to his feet, shifting into a byorg. He shouldn't have come, he shouldn't have come, you shouldn't have let him come. Eridan opens his mouth and you hiss at him, the metallic plates around your neck frilling outward. The sight surprises him enough that he lets you drag him at a dead sprint through the ship. Your ears twitch up higher at the sounds of electricity crackling and your grip around his prong tightens; some of your plating adjusts and your arms shorten just in time to pull him closer and out of sight of the crewmembers.

You shouldn't have let him come. He shouldn't be here.

You look through your alternate's eyes and see space, looking out a window at the darkness and watching a planet crumble to dust. She turns and there's a clawed hand on her shoulder; Ketrian stands with a sad, proud expression, soft purple wings wrapped around his arms. You open your eyes and start pulling Eridan again, going through byorg ship blueprints in your head. Fuck, you hope you're right about where you are.

"Lyll," Eridan hisses, and you twist to look at him, then look forward again. Your ears turn toward him, the plates unfurling so that you can catch anything else he says. "You were going to leave without me," he whisper-shouts.

You should have left without him. You should have been faster.

"We're doing this together! We agreed!"

"Hey!" A byorg male, always males on a crew, it's why you're in a male form now. Pelleon gave you a great deal of byorg information. The plating around his eyes shifts to enhance his vision and he stares at Eridan for a fraction of a second before his arm is coming apart and he's grabbing the beam gun from where it was hidden. You eject an axe and it sails through the air as he fires. Your arm's plates spread and you brace your feet, catching the impact. It knocks you off your feet and Eridan catches you quickly with a panicked expression. You can't feel your arm but the byorg is dead.

Relk, the byorg is dead. You have the presence of mind to pap Eridan's face, look at him and think about what a bad idea this was, then you shove yourself up properly and go to retrieve your axe.

"Don't step in the blood," you whisper, moving carefully around the electric blood. It's a bright color that doesn't really have a name, not one that trolls could consider, or even humans, you think, and it crackles with electricity. For the most part, it's an honor for byorgs to be soldiers. It means they have the electrical potential to power an entire ship on their own. There aren't very many teluns who masquerade as byorgs because of the distinct lack of electrical blood, but there are exceptions. Pelleon's blood probably could have done it. And you appear to land close to fellow players.

Seeing as there are probably no trolls or humans on the ship, a certain telun who favored a byorg form and had the right potential is a real possibility. Seeing as he most likely wouldn't be willing, you need to find out.

You retrieve your axe and study the byorg for a moment before deciding that there's no point in doing anything with the body. There's not really anything you  _can_ do about it. You start to move away and Eridan pulls on your arm.

"You were going to go without me," he says.

You hesitate, searching for the right words, then reply, "I thought it would be better. You were happier. And there's no guarantee this will work. I don't even know if there's a point."

Eridan huffs, reaching out to press his palm to your face. You can feel his coldbloodedness, even through your plating. "I'm with you, no matter what. Can you imagine how upset you'd be with me if I just suddenly disappeared from the meteor, too?"

You lean into his touch, sighing. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Eridan smiles. "Okay. Good. Now, where are we? And what is that?"

You look at the corpse and decide that you've spent enough time by it and tug him away. You check through your trees and find a sweater, plain, rusted orange, with no sign. You pull it out and give it to him. He catches on right away, tugging it on and flipping the hood over his horns.

"That's a byorg. We're on a byorg exploratory and conquering vessel." You listen for a moment. It's odd that no alarms have gone off. The lack of electric signature from the deceased byorg should have alerted the engine, which would have reported to the captain. "I'm heading to the primary engine, where they keep a byorg to serve as the power source for the ship."

"Like a helmsman?" Eridan's voice wavers and your grip around his tightens.

"Sort of. They're metallic. They make their ships from the bones and plates of the dead. The parts harden with electric stimuli. The engine byorg spreads out all of his plates and sort of...fuses, with the ship. Powers it. The method is different but the mindset is the same."

Eridan is quiet for a moment, then he asks, "Why are we going to it?"

"I need to make sure Pelleon isn't the engine."

Eridan hissed softly and you glanced back to see him nod. After a moment, he says, "So, about your Truth."

You trip over your own feet. "Now? Really?" you hiss when you're steady again.

"You can't dodge," he points out, then continues, "We've clarified that I don't mind what form you take. And that we'd still be together after. So what's the problem?"

You hesitate, then slowly ask, "What if I didn't meet my Truth?" Eridan makes a questioning noise and you hurriedly continue, "Like, ever? Never met that person who was  _mine_ but not because they don't exist or anything, just because." You stop. "Because of me."

"They'd be a complete glubbing idiot not to like you," he scoffs.

"No, I mean, because I don't have one," you say slowly. "I don't meet them because I don't  _have_ a Truth."

"Is that possible?" Eridan asks hesitantly.

"I don't know," you admit. "I mean, Fearran and Warrien have two since they're in the same body but different people, and, mutants are pretty out there in terms of, wow, what's wrong with us? So maybe, it could be, that I'm lacking a luxtru completely, which is upsetting in a weird way because I'm okay with the whole maybe no one who's my Truth but then I think about how that means I'm going to be alone and immortal forever because unless someone kills me I'm not going down I think and there's also the thing with kids because without a luxtru I don't have lifeblood and no lifeblood means no kids and I don't know kids always seemed like one of those things that I could see myself having where I'd settle down someplace and just be happy with my family but the way this is looking the only family I'd have would be if Veritan had kids and that would be really invasive of me to intrude because that's his family and his life and he wouldn't turn me away but I'd stil-"

Eridan paps you squarely on the pointed part of your face plate that could pass for a nose even though it's technically just a space for extra plating for additional protection for the fragile thought processor. and you stop short with a little gasp of breath, blinking at him. You're pretty sure you'd stopped breathing, which confirms the thought that you don't need air anymore unless you're thinking about not breathing, in which case you start needing it again. He paps your plating a little more and you lean against the wall. This conversation would have been way easier on a pile. You curse your avoidant past self.

 "Lyll," Eridan says after a moment, "you really want a family?" You know he knows that 'family' is more of an indigo thing, but you've told him enough about Veritan that he probably gets it. You nod. "Well...I count for something, right?" Eridan looks at you uncertainly and you nod again, faster. Words aren't really a thing you can do right now. "And you never know, even with the matriorb destroyed, Kan might be able to do something. And we're the last trolls, so we'll be the ones to provide the genetic material, and there'd be grubs." 

That is true. You imagine a little grub version of Eridan and laugh at its disgruntled face. "You're right," you murmur.

"So even if that's right, and you can't have any yourself, we can definitely adopt grubs! We'd be like lusii!"

You pull him close with the arm that's still working and hug him tightly. Your other arm is still numb and you might worry about it later.

The two of you stay there for a moment, then you separate and walk side-by-side. You know for sure where you are now, and it's helped when you reach a door with ENGINE on it in the coiling byorg letters. You release Eridan to push it open, checking from side to side before you move in. Empty. Empty is good.

Eridan follows you, stopping and looking up at the raised plates all across the ceiling. "That's the helmsman?" he breaths.

You nod, moving carefully to the control panel. You can't change the color of the commands, which is a little irritating, but you'll live. Typing in one sentence at a time is also weird, but Pelleon told you short commands work best.

**Administrator: Identify.**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Identification: TQ94 Prosperity Nine**

That didn't work like you thought it would and also gave you information you don't want to think about.

**Administrator: Identify engine.**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Engine issue 9X16. Designation removed on installation.**

You probably don't have the authority for this. You're actually pretty surprised that it's answering. You look up, searching the ceiling for the portion of the byorg that couldn't be linked to the ship because it's where the thought processor and life sustainer exist.

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Error. Eyes covered by unauthorized er-r-rrror pretty**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: artificial coloring.**

Oh. "Eridan," you call. He moves over, eyeing the ground nervously. "This is the control panel," you tell him. "If we can properly communicate with the vessel, we can identify the engine."

He reads what you typed. "It's saying it's identity is the ship?"

"It's not uncommon...for unwilling engines," you say reluctantly.

"It thinks your eyes are pretty."

"Yes," you confirm.

He frowns at you. "That's bad?"

"It means they programmed a machine nature into him. And if he's fighting it, he's probably getting hurt."

"Then we get him out."

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Activating anti-sabatoge weaponry.**

You both look up as the same weapons that left your arm numb slide from the walls. "It's not that easy," you mutter pointedly.

Eridan reaches slowly for the console and when nothing happens, turns to it completely.

**Administrator: so wwhats your name**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Error. Multiple flaws in text.**

**Administrator: are not its my quirk**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Quirk.**

**Administrator: yeah like howw i type thats specific ta me**

**Administrator: an some others can do it but its wweird if theyre not in my quadrants**

**Administrator: like lyll can do it if she wwants**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: lyll**

"Yeah, that's her," Eridan says, and points at you. You wave faintly to the whole room. The guns are gone again.

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Identify?**

"Me? I'm Eridan."

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Eridan and lyll objective?**

"Mainly to get your name."

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: TQ94 Prosperity Nine.**

"No, that's the ship's name. What's yours?"

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Clarification requested.**

Eridan hesitates and you say, "The vessel is Prosperity. We are addressing the engine. Before the removal of the name."

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Engine.**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: The engine has no name.**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Error**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Had. Has none now.**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: But did.**

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Confirm former name request?**

"I, yes. Engine's former name, please."

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Artaon.**

You stare.

 Eridan stares.

The name doesn't change.

"Land," you say.

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Order denied. Landing unauthorized.**

"No. We need to get you out."

**TQ94 Prosperity Nine: Negative.**

"Lyll," Eridan murmurs.

"We have to get him out."

"We need to go."

"No! He's in there!"

"We need to go!"

You finally turn to see what he's so upset about and are met with...sixteen byorg officers. Half the crew. Armed and pointing their weapons at you. You look at the console, then up again, but even if he had a face you don't know if you'd recognize it.

You shut your eyes tightly, searching for your alternate self. You don't know if it will work. She's reading a book of mythology, the same one you have but with none of your writing. _Artaon. Byorg ship. Get him out._  You push the words at her as hard as you can, then you grab Eridan, shift, and step into the shadows under the console with him and return to the meteor.

* * *

============> Wow, seven months! How about that? 53 chapters, more than 1,000 hits, and 70,000 words is really good! (The author didn't expect it to go this far, and believe me, there's a ways to go.)

========> Get to the point, Twelve.

============> :P

============> With this chapter, the first year on the meteor has officially been passed by! Lyllani's presence definitely changed some things, sped some up, slowed others down, just plain old flipped them around! There will be more, of course, but methinks some of you lovely readers might want to know more about Sswap, yes?

============> And, while it may not be the true Andrew Hussie shebang (I love that word), with the close of this first year, it seems a rather wonderful time to begin an Intermission of sorts where you will be able to see some of what Lyllani and her companions played.

========> Readers are encouraged to make requests if there's something they'd like to know or see, like a Land, consort, or sprite. Please also feel free to ask questions and make other comments!

======> One more thing. The author was asked for a hint on the cause of Lyllani's voice being black, though, you may notice, it has not been for a fair number of chapters. Here is the hint: The first time her voice turns orange is in Chapter Four. What is she doing?

============> Enjoy, and please always feel free to comment!

 


	54. Intermission Part I: Enter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to try to read how Treckta talks, hold your mouth almost completely shut with your tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth and only moving your lips. That sounds about right, when I tried it. Also, this is a whopper of a chapter. Sorry not sorry.

* * *

A young telun paces across his nest. Yes, ordinarily, he would be standing and staring awkwardly about, but there is no time for that. It is also not his birthday, in fact, he's not even sure what you would mean if you used the word. No, he was delivered via a pod to a telun occupied planet where he quickly settled into the form of a wiratl, discovered that he possessed several wiratl abilities in such a way that he would be labeled a mutant, and set about seeking out his younger clutchmate. This wiratl, which we will call him because he is far more comfortable being one of them than a telun, does not need to be named because he has always had a name, one he selected himself.

You are now him.

Your name is KETRIAN RIOTALL. You are in a high state of DISTRESS because you have recently downloaded the game SSWAP so that you may FLEE your society. You enjoy FLYING and sparring with your CLUTCHMATE. You have THREE sets of wings and your FOURTH will grow in shortly, most likely on your UPPER CREST where you have an established CROWN of violet feathers. The other three are on your NECK, where they are small and protect you from having your head cut off by the DAGGER storms of your planet, and the GREATER and LESSER sets on your back. Yoouu teend too speeaak wiith aa breeaathy quuaaliity thaat maakees iit eeaasy too speeaak wiithoouut haaviing thee wiind teeaar yoouur breeaath aawaay. 

Your server player, Reeihvo, accidentally destroyed your coutan by dropping it into your kernelsprite some time ago. That sprite is currently following you as you say a quick 'see you later,' to your clutchmate, who is residing in the side nest so that he may enter separately from you. You do not say goodbye. You were ordered to be the leader by your close friend and trusted companion, Jountos. You replied that he shouldn't be ordering you around if you're the leader and he laughed and said that you've got it down already.

You and he worked together to establish a chain, something he assured you would be wise to coordinate early. You will enter an area known as the Medium first with Reeihvo's help, then you will bring Jountos in. He will enter Treckta, who you know for a fact he has a crush on, and she will bring in Veritan. Veritan will bring in the monster that his child clutchmate managed to form an allegiance with, and the monster will assist said child in her entry. She will bring in Pelleon, who wanted to be last but was decided to enter earlier due to his computational abilities to quickly map areas, and then Pelleon will enter Arcatha, who will enter your clutchmate, who will enter your server player and complete the chain.

 You return to your nest and find the instruction manual for a dungeon crawling game that you like and call your spirit over. You toss the manual into it and it flashes bright blue before it stabilizes, looking like a book and a coutan combined, which is pretty much exactly what it is.

You try to keep your feathers flat as you pace, but you're worried. You don't know what to expect over there. Not what you know will happen to you here.

Your sprite comes up to you and spews some green gibberish that you're guessing means Reeihvo just sent you a message. Relking lemon yellow text. Even when he really wants to get something across, he manages to send the thoughts through in that lemon color. You asked him once why he picked such an awful color and he responded with bewilderment, then fluctuated between mental and actual messages babbling about how beautiful it was. Reeihvo finally asked if he could look through your eyes to see what it looked like to him, and when you agreed you had the unexpected side effect of looking through  _his_ eyes at the color.

You had never seen anything more beautiful.

When he switched back, he babbled apologies. He hadn't realized how much it stood out against the grayish coloring of the contacting application and he was sorry that it was so grating and he'd pick something else right away, he said. You had replied don't you dare, and he had said huh? You had told him to keep that color because no matter how you or any of the others saw it, the way he saw it was amazing and it was no wonder he used it. That made him cry and you'd had to deploy Veritan's sweet little clutchmate to fix it.

She had fixed it excellently.

You can't focus on the sprite properly, so you just head to the totem lathe where you find something new awaiting you. It's bright blue, like your sprite, and shaped sort of like an hourglass. You pick it up and carry it to the alchemiter, setting it on the pedestal. As it scans, the sky above you turns from the same purple as your feathers to a grayish yellow color. You look up to see the sky splitting and a shining meteor plummeting downward, toward a nearby . It's rather distractingly pretty and you stare at the flames for a moment, slowly turning back when her sprite clangs angrily.

A candle sits on the alchemiter pad, flickering brightly. You reach out to pick it up and frown, holding it close to your face. "What am I supposed to do with this?" you mumble.

Blowing it out seems wrong and you adjust your wings so that the wind whipping around, even so low in your nest, can't extinguish it. You slowly take a seat, the wings on your neck shifting to keep you warm. The candle flickers faster. It's not actually burning, though. Well, it is, but the candle isn't melting.

Another meteor crashes downward and this time you feel the impact. You stand quickly and pace a few steps. You should wait, right? But Keirtal could be hurt if the meteor comes closer, and while you aren't quite at Veritan's level, you want to protect your clutchmate. Keirtal is much stronger than the little one. He's able to control metal, for skies sake! And the little one is just...so little. You've seen her once or twice, reading in the back of Veritan's video calls or calling you herself to pepper you with questions about how ships work or how to program machines or why the skies are different colors on different planets or, once, with reflective tears running down her face and Veritan howling in pain as another group of rebel soldiers were executed and he felt it as clearly as they did.

Yes, Keirtal is much stronger than the little one. Less fragile. Less innocent than you wish he could be. But you need to make this go faster, or he could be in more danger than he'd be able to stand.

You stride to the lowest level of your nest and pull out a bowl, setting the candle in it. You turn on the flame cooker and hold your claws over it, waiting for it to be warm. As soon as it's good enough, you set the bowl over it. The candle's base begins to melt. It's fast. You look out at the sky. This meteor is definitely coming for you. You crank the heat higher and waver for a moment, then pull your ancient brizlenap from under the dripping liquid basin, pausing for a drink. You turn it on, inserting the two chips so that they'll download as the device activates.

For an excruciating tick, nothing happens. Then you are looking at a kinti, sitting at the entrance to a cave and looking out. He whips around when you deploy the cruxtruder, alchemiter, and totem lathe, all next to each other. For a moment he doesn't move, then he looks straight up, almost at you, and his shoulders rattle happily. He moves fast, drawing a thick sword and removing the top of the cruxtruder. You wish you'd looked at your timer when you see his.

He tosses a rock with glued on spines and eyes that you think might be a Pet Rock into the kernel, looks around, grabs a potted plant that is rather hideous and clearly also smells bad by the way his own spines knock together, and throws that into the sprite too.

The candle lets out a great pop as it melts and the world around you spins. Then, you're surrounded by darkness. Your sprite comes over to you and in bright green text spells out, WELCOME TO THE MEDIUM YOUNG ADVENTURER

You may have made a mistake including that book.

===> Be the next guy

You are the next guy.

Your name is JOUNTOS TERVATI. You have a CRUSH on TRECKTA LIARRTA. You know that it will NEVER work because teluns just DON'T have each other as Truths. She is still someone you will forever RESPECT and ADMIRE. There isn't much to say about yourself because you have spent much of your time on PROSPIT, a fact that only changed after you met Treckta. On Prospit you enjoyed MANY SWEETS, PARTIES, and CELEBRATIONS. You are WAITING for Treckta to also AWAKEN so that you may show her around. You have been UNABLE to approach her tower because that will only CONFIRM that she is NOT your TRUTH and that would make you VERY SAD because you think you ARE IN LOVE.

You stay as a KINTI because others avoid you when you are BIG and covered in SPIKES and you do not like FIGHTING. On a world where fighting is very prevalent, it is good to be AVOIDED though also lonely. They do not know that your SPIKES and other SHARP ACCOUCHERMENTS are actually very sensitive, something you attribute to your MUTATION. If this were ever discovered, your life would be FORFEIT because you are no longer a valuable SOLDIER. This is another thought that makes you VERY SAD because you GREATLY ENJOY life, especially now that you've met Treckta, even though it has only been over VIDEO. You SPeaK iN a VeRy SLoW,,,, aGGReSSiVE,,,, CaCaPHoNuS MaNNeR BeCauSe iT MaKeS oTHeRS LeaVe You aLoNe....

You think that Ketrian will make a good leader because he is cautious and wise and will often wait to make a decision until he understands the possible outcomes. He is better than you because he is willing to make a difficult choice, even if it would harm him, while you are often too afraid to act. You can't even ask Treckta if she feels the same way about you, though Veritan and his little kin have assured you that she does when you went anxiously to them.

You have successfully begun your work to enter the Medium and you are watching your sprite suspiciously in case the fragile Hugger Plant, as it is typically called, tries to do what it does best and hug you. Your dowel is an odd shape that looks like someone took an axe to it and gave up when it was about to break.

You handle it carefully as you step to the pad, watching it scan. A ring forms, thin and delicate and made more for a sertai's delicate paws than your large mitts. You pick it up anyway and frown at it, thinking again of Treckta. You look at the gleaming blades where they lean on your walls and, further down, where the cave turns and you enter the mansion that you grew up in and will not be arriving to the Medium in if you can help it.

You let your body change even though you know you are making yourself weaker and, when you are finally a sertai, hesitate a moment more before you slide the ring onto your thin finger. It explodes with bright light and your trip backward, flailing in alarm, as the ring grows long needles that weave around your arm and tighten, just barely digging into the weak flesh.

When you try to change back into a kinti they almost cut you and you quickly stop.

You look over at your coutan. You need to do what it takes to get into the Medium so that you can get Treckta into the Medium where she will be safe. You stumble to your coutan, the needles getting tighter with every step, and crouch in front of it. They are definitely cutting you now, silver running down and vanishing into the ring. You connect.

She is sitting on a floating chair, blue, beautiful blue eyes on her coutan as the meteors rain fire around her. You use a stick to bump the chair and she turns, then looks skyward and smiles. You know that she believes strongly in the kindness of the Three Skies, and could easily be smiling to them for granting her salvation, but you let yourself think that she's smiling at you because of the love you see there.

You deploy the components, including a grist bank that will pool all of the grist you who play the game will earn. As she rises from her chair, delicate and lovely in a red dress like your text, the needles retract. You feel the meteor hit your mansion and turn to feel its heat because it must have missed you but at least she has what she needs to get in.

The sky outside your cave goes dark and you look out in shock. You are in the Medium. This is what it looks like.

Your sprite hugs you tightly and the spines from your rock poke your sertai back uncomfortably but you can't find it in yourself to care because you're _here_ and you're not going to die, you're going to go meet Treckta once she's in and tell her how you feel even if she isn't your Truth and you're going to do everything you can to have everyone win the prize of a world where you can be free.

===> Be the pretty lady.

Oh, thank you! Your name is TRECKTA LIARRTA. You like KNITTING, SEWING, and DESIGNING. You also like JOUNTOS, but no one except for Veritan and his cute little kin knows that. You are almost always a SERTAI and you are very TALL. You had a brief fascination with SCULPTING but ultimately decided it was not for you. However, you find the WIRES involved in sculpting to be very USEFUL IN PERSUASION and EASILY TRANSPORTED in areas where your STITCHING modus sylladex is required to be empty. Your modus lets you practice FAST STITCHING by having you fix the HOLES in the image. Your secondary strife specibus is NEEDLEKIND and you are QUITE GOOD. You have BLUE EYES and you know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE from watching the screen.

It's not as great as it sounds.

Y tnd t spk n qck nd hvy ccnt wtht vwls bcse y wr rsd spkng qrtchnk, whch hs n vwls. You think VOWELS are HARD and ANNOYING and you kind of REALLY HATE them. If you survived long enough to get the Gift of Gab, you would have a much easier time, not that you know what that odd thought you just had means.

===> Hurry up so you don't die.

Right. You forego longer introductions to peek at the sky, which is on fire already due to an element in your planet's atmosphere known as lakfed. It's highly flammable and you've already donned a mask so that you can continue to breathe. Luckily, fire storms are pretty common on your planet and its original natives were stubborn as relk. The mask won't last long because the extinguishers in the upper quadrants have already turned on, but this storm isn't one that's going to stop as fast as the usual ones do.

You grab the curly dowel off of the platform and spin down to your main floor, where decorative blankets and rugs surround you. You toss one into your kernel and think for a moment before you grab a dowel and throw that at it too. It goes right through and you huff in irritation. Figures it wouldn't work. With a skip, you pop down to your plush, blanket-covered bed and grab a heart shaped pillow with eyes and a mouth. You throw that into your sprite and don't bother looking as you dance to the platform and set the dowel down.

As awful as it sounds, you're excited. The destruction is bad, of course, but you're getting a new chance. You'd resigned yourself early on to a life of fleeing and eventual service, mind no longer truly yours, but you have a  _chance!_ You're going to start a new world, find your Truth, and live happily for as long as you do, and that's all you ever wanted.

A doll sits on the platform and you pick it up, blinking. It's...you. She's a sertai, thin and solid in ways that teluns aren't, with as pale the coloring you could make yourself have. Her white mane fluffs out around the neck of her, your, red dress. In one hand she's holding a tiny plastic heart, and in the other a needle. The only other difference is that there's a hard plastic mask stitched into her face, smiling serenely.

You hesitantly tug on the mask and it lifts enough that you can see the little gold freckles on your cheeks.

You consider her as you pull out your coutan and connect to Veritan. He's pacing, the dope, and has a knife pressed against his lips. Unsafe. You deploy the free devices, noting that Jountos and Ketrian must be fighting because your grist counter is steadily rising. Veritan doesn't look around, just gets to work examining everything.

The mask is starting to be creepy. You swiftly stitch the handle together on your nail kit and pull it from your sylladex, unrolling the silken covering so you can remove the tiny scissors. With expert steadiness, you snip the threads from the mask. It slips off easily and you drop the doll before you can think, processing the expression of misery on her face even as she breaks apart and the meteor strikes you into the Medium.

You feel a little sick, and your coily pillow sprite doesn't help because now the heart pillow looks like an actual sertai heart and you did _not_ need to see that.

===>Be the next one.

Yep, okay, you're VERITAN ARTTANA and this is a BAD IDEA, such a BAD IDEA, that PSYCHOPATH is going to KILL your sister. She's outside, safe and separate for the beginning of the game. You can't see her. You try to think of the last thing you said to her and you think it was that you love her and you'll see her soon because you make a point to never say goodbye and oh skies you're all going to die.

You like MOVIES and READING but lately you have trouble with that because of how much you end up FEELING. You want to STOP feeling. You want your sister to be SAFE. She is the MOST PRECIOUS PERSON EVER and IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HER YOU WOULD KILL EVERYONE AND THEN YOURSELF and hey you're panicking again.

Your hands shake as you move the dowel and you try to think about what else you like for a proper introduction but really all you can think about is how much your head hurts and how terrifying this is and you're picking it all apart in your head because there are so many ways it could go wrong. Lyllani, that's who matters. You have to get into the game so that she can get into the game.

You're not always like this. This is a BAD RISE. You have them sometimes, when your mind feels like it's being stretched in so many different directions that you aren't even sure where or who you are anymore because everyone is DYING. You knew this would happen and you were on a good rise when you agreed to enter the game earlier. The others think that you should be able to separate from what's happening when you're not in the middle of it anymore.

you tend to speAk pretty normAlly, but your voice crAcked on the A sound when you were growing And LyllAni wAs A kit And it mAde her lAugh. You do everything you can to keep her laughing. You wish that you could always be on good rises so that she could always have reasons to laugh and not worry about you. You have a lot of friends, which is always a surprise when you think about it. You love having friends.

Although you hate it when they do things like give Lyllani books on mental health disorders and make her worry more when you're having bad rises. You don't matter enough for her to worry so much. You also don't like it when they tell you that the immortal monster is the one entering your sister into the game, especially when it's the monster himself that ends up telling you when you're waiting for the program to connect.

It occurs to you that you also like ROBOTS and TURONS.

You focus on what your card and dowel created.

It's a pot of dirt.

You poke the pot of dirt.

It continues to be a pot of dirt.

You look at your kernel, remembering that you need to put something in it. You pick up a movie about a sentient game program that reveals that it's actually an alien that was forced to be a player in the game and broke free and wants to free all of her allies. It's staged on a planet where aliens aren't revealed to the general public. You're not even sure if those planets exist anymore. You give it to your sprite. You also give it a spare hairbrush.

It takes both, but you think that not even it knows what to do with those things. You were told to make it harmless. They're probably harmless. The sprite absorbs them and looks like a spiky disc set. The bristles move and you freeze as it hovers higher to brush your hair. Your awful, always some shade of blue, hair.

You scoot away and pick up the pot to see that there's a nut behind it. You pick up the nut as well, frowning. It probably has the seed inside. Does it break naturally? You stick it into the pot and realize how stupid that looks very quickly.

Your sprite continues to try to brush your hair. You swat it away.

You stare harder at the nut. Maybe you should break it. But what if that kills it? Then you've just got some dirt and a dead nut. You stare at the nut. It has no eyes and cannot stare back.

You set the nut in the pot again and pick up your coutan. The monster is standing in the empty room, waiting. He looks sort of like a crun. Big and red and dark and terrifying. You know he's not a crun. You can't ask what he really is.

You quickly deploy everything. Then, because you're a little worried he's going to be unsatisfied and maybe kill you for it, add as many upgrades as you can afford to the alchemiter. That turns out to be a lot. He stares at it without moving the whole time and slowly turns back to look at you like he can actually see you. Maybe it wasn't enough. You're going to die.

You drop the coutan on the nut.

Panic again.

Once you're done with that, you really just want to take a nap. You just want some quiet. You're just...tired.

You pick up the coutan and feel like you're going to pass out when you see the broken pieces, but relax when you realize that the seed inside the shell is okay. Or at least looks okay. You pick it up and shift some of the dirt aside and set it in the pot, covering it again. You start to stand up to get it some liquid, but the seed suddenly sprouts through the dirt and a single leaf grows upward. You watch it get taller, forming a large flower.

When it stops, the whole thing flashes brightly and vanishes. Your hands feel lighter. You look at the windows and find them dark.

Your sprite tries to brush your hair and you scramble away from it. Your head still hurts, but it's not as bad.

===> Be the monster.

Care to repeat that?

===> ...Be the nice version.

Oh, low quitninipping blow you piece of-

You're the nice version. Your name is WARRIEN CREALLS. The other one is named FEARRAN CREALLS. You like POETRY and COOKING. You also like talking to LYLLANI because she knows what you're trying to say by now. Your favorite word is PURPLE because there are no words that RHYME with it.

You would say more, but you're asleep.

===> Aw...be the other guy...

That's motherrelking right! You're stuck with yourself so everyone else has to be, too!

Your name is FEARRAN CREALLS and the other guy is WARRIEN CREALLS. You aren't the same one as him so you don't know that he just told you that, which is a thought that you don't have. You're a MUTANT, cursed with IMMORTALITY. Technically you can DIE but you have the nasty tendency to COME BACK. The FIRST time you died should have been the ONLY time you died, but your mutation made you come back. Only you came back with the OTHER GUY. And not BOTH of you get to meet TRUTHS who DIE and then YOU DIE and COME BACK. YOU ARE TIRED OF FALLING IN LOVE AND WATCHING THEM DIE. You haven't spoken aloud in a long time, but when you do it tends to be IN A staGGEred RELkinG MAnneR ANd yoU DO not GIVe a sINGle fLYIng cHUT who DOEs noT LIke iT. The other guy rhymes. Helps him not feel all the emotions.

You share a specibus because the other guy is harmless and you don't care enough. The only thing that neither one of you touch is a book that your first Truth wrote about you. You miss her. You know the other guy misses his Truths, too. For the most part, they were good ones. They understood the difference between the two of you, and you were able to at least have some respect for them. You haven't left your moon in a long time, though. Not since the last two you loved died.

You're standing in an old room of prayer where people who worshipped you once died, torn apart from within when one of your worshippers was captured. You don't come in here often. There are memories you hate. You look around slowly as each component appears and wonder why you let Lyllani talk you into this as you pull the cap off of some weird machine that you don't care about.

It pops out your sprite, flashing and annoying, and you stick a scroll of prayer into it along with a bottle of ceremonial paint, something else you haven't used in a long time. You still pause and tap a claw to your chest plate respectfully, dipping your head to the sigils of the three Skies on the far wall. Your worshippers thought that they gave you your immortality and praised you as the next coming of the phoenix. You're not particularly religious anymore, but you believe enough in the Skies to think that they're too kind for that.

The dowel you carve produces a pair of masks, solid and stonelike. They're fused together, one weeping and the other twisted in anger. You study them, absently holding the anger mask up to your face. It does nothing for you.

You absently use your brizlenap- it's a fine piece of technology and anyone who says otherwise can go afhin themselves -to connect fully to Lyllani. She's fiddling with the specibus you gave her a while back, tossing knives through the air. You deploy everything and she lights up with joy, so potent you can feel it, and draws an axe.

The two masks have changed when you look back at them; the weeping one is placid and sleeping and the angry one is sneering. You shift it and the eyes follow you. You hiss angrily and the masks change again. The sleeping one looks at you with concern and the sneering one snarls back. You whirl and pitch them against a wall. The two masks break apart and clatter to the ground separately.

You see that they're both sleeping before you feel an impact and know by the silence of your own mind that you're in the Medium. You growl absently and head outside to crush the imps Jountos promised you there would be.

===> Be Lyllani (in the past!)

You are now Lyllani in the past and you are EXCITED. You like PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING except DYING. You like PUZZLES and BLUEPRINTS and the FUN QUIZZES that PELLEON gives you. You mention PUZZLES because your dowel gave you AN AWESOME PUZZLE! You're working on it right now, taking a quick break to connect with Pelleon so that he can get started. You see him send three more tests for you to take later.

Pelleon says that you have a lot of potential, which is really great to hear. He says that the tests are usually really hard, but you just think they're fun! Especially because Veritan is okay with you taking them. He doesn't like it when you do some things because he thinks they're dangerous, but that's okay. Pelleon also sends you logic problems, which are even more fun, especially the ones that are just pictures and you have to figure out everything without using a chart. You don't like the number problems very much, but you do them too.

You're trying to get Pelleon to teach you to hack, but he says that it isn't a necessary skill for you. You guess that makes sense. Sort of. You guess.

But it's important that you stay an optimist, for Veritan! He needs positive influences! So does Fearran, and Reeihvo sometimes even though you've only spoken to him once or twice. One of the times you felt like something REALLY BAD had happened and messaged him and he took such a long time to reply that you messaged Ketrian, too. He said he was okay but you think he was lying.

You fit the last piece of the puzzle into place and sit back with a grin. The mirrored pieces reflect your face perfectly.

You look outside as the windows go dark and laugh excitedly.

===> Be surprised that's all the Lyllani you get.

You're surprised.

===> Be Pelleon

Your name is PELLEON VERSTII. You like SYMMETRY and SHIPS. You stick to a BYORG form because they're the fastest PROGRAMMERS. You're programming an AI to REPLACE you when you DIE because of your mutation. You speak in a relaxed mAnnEr that EnnUnciates sYmmEtry. You go FAST. ALWAYS. The only time you slow down lately is when you're staring at Lyllani's RESULTS and considering STRANGLING her kin.

She's taken every certified intelligence test you could find and then some you programmed and completed them in record time with flying colors. She completes puzzles with no images for fun. She likes animals. She memorizes your blueprints faster than you can reproduce them. She can befriend everything. And Veritan won't let her live her life.

So you have a plan. Once you've won the game, you're going to teach her to program. She's going to help you make the AI without even knowing it. She's going to do better than you. That is something you have recognized and accepted.

You're typing even as you move around your dome, the sprite you prototyped with a wrench and piece of charcoal following you. The program is able to hold conversations with almost perfect accuracy by now. You place the rigid dowel on the pad and connect to Arcatha, dropping everything off quickly. You must drop them on something because she flips you off when you glance over.

A closed disc container is on the pad when you check it and you pick it up, saving your AI. You pop it open and pull out the disc, considering it for a moment. There's a deep scratch in its surface and you frown. You shift it toward your coutan and, without your doing, it slides into the access port.

You pale as a file downloads and a notification pops up to inform you that your coutan is being cleared. You can't access the control panel to cancel it, and when you try to open a file to counter it nothing happens. Your gaze darts to the AI and you whine anxiously, quickly downloading it into a file and sending it to Lyllani. It might infect something of hers, as new as it is, but it has to be done.

It sends.

A notification pops up. All files deleted. Self destructing.

You drop your coutan and recoil as the device explodes.

Your dome bursts, but luckily, you're already in the Medium.

===> Be Arcatha

Your name is ARCATHA DURALLT. You like DANCING and PRETTY THINGS. YoU SpeaK VerY ClearlY AnD IN A WaY ThaT MakeS EveryonE HeaR EverY WorD YoU SaY. You know for a FACT that EVERYONE in this game will need to LEARN to REVERE you appropriately. You will not be TREATED like some PEASANT as you are on your current planet, which you are glad will soon be DESTROYED.

You sit in front of the delicate glass that your dowel produced in awe. It is glorious. Tall and slender, like you, with gems studding the rim. You know that if you touch it you will break it, which is, annoyingly, what you're being encouraged to do. According to Jountos's messages, almost everyone somehow destroyed the item they had. You take great offense to this because you are most certainly not like everyone else, so yours could easily be different.

You have been sitting here telling yourself this for more than thirty ticks. Your coutan lies to the side, but you don't bother with it. Keirtal can enter after you like he's supposed to. Your sprite, an earring and a fake jewel, wanders around bumping into things behind you. Useless.

Your stacked living complex rattles and you look up at the ceiling, realizing too late that the glass is falling. You leap to catch it, but the stem shatters. With it, your windows. You look outside to see darkness and scowl, but reach for your coutan anyway. You frown when you see that the screen is dark, informing you that the connection has been lost, then huff and toss it to the side. Whatever. Someone probably brought them in already.

 ===> Be Keirtal

No go. He's dead already.

===> Oh. Be Reeihvo?

You are Reeihvo Zaltrre and you sit in the crook of your crystal tree and close your eye so that you do not see it when the meteor hits you.

===>

He's dead too now.

===>Oh.

===>Um

===>Boss?

==========> Welcome to the Medium of Sswap.

=====> Next up, Intermission Part II: Ascend...or Don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just for reference, Ketrian had a candle that wouldn't burn because it's his nature to wait and let things happen, and in this game he's going to need to make things happen rather than wait and it was trying to teach him that. Jountos had that ring because he was unwilling to do what it took for love and, the fact of it is, love requires sacrifice. When the ring had the blood it needed, the sacrifice, it retreated. Sometimes, you have to accept that pain is required to go forward. Treckta got the doll of herself because she needs to recognize that there doesn't always need to be a mask in place. Veritan got the nut and pot because it's time for him to have a new beginning and not everything is as fragile as he thinks, Fearran got the masks because he needs to know that he's not the only one in that body, they're not really two completely different personas (calm/angry), just two different people. Lyllani got the puzzle because she's there to put things back together, not take them apart like all the others, and she has the ability to do things that none of them could. Pelleon got the discs because he tries so hard to make all of these new things and sometimes there will be nothing he can do and he needs to accept that. Arcatha got the tall glass because her unwillingness to let some things go will cause the death of many.  
> Tada!


	55. Intermission Part II: Ascend...or Don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the end of this intermission, I think that the meteor is on year three.  
> TW for implied suicide

===> Be the confused guy

You're the confused guy. And you're really relking confused. There are more than seventeen other messages that all revolve around the same thing, but it's the last few that really have you bewildered.

QV: i JuST NeVeR THouGHT i CouLD Be THiS HaPPY....We HaVe BeeN WoRKiNG BeTWeeN ouR PLaNeTS FoR THe PaST FeW MooNS We HaVe BeeN PLaYiNG aND i HaD No iDea HoW aMaZiNG HaViNG a TRuTH CouLD Be....i DouBT i CouLD HaVe GoTTeN So FaR WiTHouT HeR....  
QV: SHe iS eVeN MoRe aMaZiNG THe LoNGeR i aM BeSiDe HeR....aND i SuPPoSe WHaT i aM TRYiNG To SaY iS THaT i SHouLD HaVe TReaTeD You MoRe FaiRLY....i DiD NoT uNDeRSTaND WHaT You MuST HaVe BeeN THRouGH....  
QV: i KNoW THaT THeRe iS MoRe i Do NoT KNoW....LLYLaNi HaS NoT ToLD Me MuCH,,,, SHe iS VeRY CoNCiouS oF PeRSoNaL SeCReTS aND i FiND Her To Be TRuSTWoRTHY,,,, aND i oNLY KNoW WHaT i HaVe ReaD aBouT You,,,, BuT i KNoW THaT You HaVe LiVeD THRouGH THe LoSS oF MoRe THaN oNe TRuTH....aND i aM SoRRY THaT i NeVeR WeNT To You PeRSoNaLLY To FiND ouT THe TRuTH aBouT You FRoM You PeRSoNaLLY....

What is happening?

CS: whAT The cHIT are YOU talKINg abOUT  
CS: i do NOT carE WHat yOU ThinK ABout ME  
QV: MaYBe You Do NoT,,,, BuT THe oTHeR oNe MiGHT....ReGaRDLeSS,,,, i oWe aN SoMeoNe aN aPoLoGY....i WaS uNKiND aND i ReGReT THaT....  
CS: finE  
CS: DOes iT WORk if I SAy thAT I recOGNize YOUr apOLOgy  
QV: YeS....THaNK You....i aM SuRe YouR oTHeR SiDe WiLL aPPReCiaTe iT MoRe,,,, BuT THaNK You FoR aCCePTiNG....  
QV: iN oTHeR BuSiNeSS,,,, HaS LYLLaNi BeeN SPeNDiNG TiMe WiSeLY???? uSuaLLY i CaN NoT See HeR.... i BeLieVe SHe iS NoT PaRTiCuLaRLY ReLeVaNT NoW THaT We HaVe eNTeReD....iT CeRTaiNLY MaKeS VeRiTaN HaPPY....

You look up thoughtfully. Lyllani is slamming the head off of a braktin imp with the mace you gave her. You think it came from Jountos's planet, Land of Shadows and Spears. She runs to collect the grist, shifting from ertor to meirax. You're peculiarly honored that she has started using the form you have been using for the past cycles. She's a _good_ kit.

CS: sHE Is wiTH Me noW  
CS: FIghtING  
CS: she WENt to THE deaD PLaneTS And fOUNd soME InteREStinG MAterIALs  
QV: iT PRoBaBLY DoeS NoT MaTTeR....i Do NoT See aNYTHiNG uSeFuL FRoM HeR....  
CS: yoU ARe an IDIot iF YOu beLIEve tHAT

chirpShock [CS] **ceased contacting** quantumVjerox

===> Be the big guy

You're the big guy. You just got hung up on, kind of, but that's okay because you're happy. You're on her planet, Land of Art and Violets, and Treckta is settled beside you, playing with a ball of clay with a smile on her face. You're smiling, too, soaking in her warmth and just, simply, happy.

You close your eyes and concentrate on the Time. It flows around you like it's a room, letting you open the curtains to look out through the windows. The problem is Seeing through enough windows that you can find the Alpha and protect it. You've gotten pretty good at it, actually. You just avoid the windows with the dead versions of you or Treckta. You watch out for other dead allies and so far, you think that everything is going well.

You see Arcatha rising from a quest bed in a golden dress and smile more. God tier. You See Fearran, or maybe it's Warrien, Lyllani's the only one who can tell, in the uniform too, which is a surprise. You See Treckta lying before a quest bed, silver staining her body.

"No," you choke out and Treckta whips around, the clay bouncing away. You stare at her, your spines clacking together as the image flashes in your vision. "You, you don't, you don't tier," you tell her and you're absolutely certain of it. Any attempt for her to god tier will end in her death.

"That's okay," she says, her accent clipping her words shorter. "I don't have to. Neither one of us dies and we'll live anyway. It's okay, my One." You don't know how she manages to say that in a way that lets you know what she meant when she didn't pronounce the O or the E and it makes your blood warmer to know that she tried to pronounce it just right for you.

You hug her tightly, pressing your head to the curve of her neck. She coos softly and hugs you tightly, her body shifting so she can wrap solid wings around you. You told her that it made you feel more comfortable to be in closed in spaces and she remembered. Your coutan buzzes and you both jump. She holds you tighter for a moment, then releases you and nods, shifting back into a sertai. Her delicate fingers trace a scar from your youngest challenger when your skin wasn't strong enough as you pull out your coutan.

absentDrowner [AD] **contacted** quantumVjerox [QV]

The name makes you wince. He had been ardentDosev, but changed it after Keirtal never made it into the game. You wish you had known how to See that. You worry that he won't be the leader you had hoped because of it and you know that you and Pelleon have both been taking action as leaders, coaching the people on your various sides of the gates.

Now that you think of it, Lyllani, Pelleon, and Fearran/Warrien might be the only ones who didn't have at least an allusion to some kind of beast in their handles at the start. Even Arcatha has one, though 'Dancer' is pushing it a little since they Sky Dancers are technically a class and not a race. They certainly think they're a higher race, from what you've heard. Their planet wasn't an occupied one, though, so you can't say for sure.

AD: Ii aam hoostiing aa Vreesiitaaw ceeleebraatiioon. Ii haavee aaraangeed eeveerythiing aalreeaady. Ii wiill iinviitee thee ootheers aas weell. Ii hoopee yoouu aand Treecktaa wiill coomee.  
QV: oF CouRSe....WHeN DoeS iT STaRT????  
AD: Wheen eeveeryoonee aariivees. Ii wiill seeee yoouu theen.

absentDrowner [AD] **ceased contacting** quantumVjerox [QV]

You and Treckta look at each other. She smiles and taps the side of her head against yours affectionately. You let your spines settle and soften and rest against her, pretending you can see past the image of her body.

===> Be the nervous guy

You aren't nervous. This is a good rise. You've been having a lot of those. You have energy and your mind is clear and you're  _surrounded_ by turons. You're very happy. You'd be happier if your sister wasn't spending her time around the monster, but she's so happy that you can't tell her to avoid him.

You understand, now, why the entry rise was so bad. You felt Reeihvo's death. As a ericon, he felt you feeling it without even realizing and amplified it. You wish you'd been able to parse through the panic to know. You think you'll miss how he always led with the little ; S> face. You'd asked him what the S> face was supposed to be and he'd told you it was his chin. He had promised to give you a tattoo like the ones he had, and promised to make you get the tattoo when you worried about backing out.

You wish that Lyllani could have been closer to him. Keirtal was the next youngest and you know they'd talked, but for some reason she and Reeihvo never really communicated. You don't want to let anyone else die.

You shoot Ketrian a thank you for the invitation and hope over a blood creek, heading up the ramp to your house. There's been a pretty steady influx of grist so far, so all of your houses are pretty tall by now. A few even reach Skaia. You're a Derse dreamer, but Lyllani is on Prospit and she tells you about what she sees up there sometimes. Ketrian's a Derse dreamer, too, but his dream self was killed when Keirtal's tower exploded. Neither one of them had woken up, but you'd seen their bodies and shooed off a few theiving Dersites before.

It takes you a little while to get through all of the portals, so you be someone else.

===> Be someone else

You're someone else. Someone tall and beautiful who, though stuck in one form due to your mutation, is better than everyone. At least, that's what you're still trying to tell yourself. You know that Keirtal and Reeihvo died because of you. But it wasn't your fault! The others knew you hadn't entered, so they should have connected to them instead! And you didn't ask to end up on this horrible land, either! What kind of place is the Land of Gorges and Fire? It's completely unlike you! Aren't Lands supposed to be reflections?

But, whatever. You have a party to attend. You're scaling to the appropriate gate, trying not to look down at the deep fissures in the land. You can see white bodies flying around inside them, glowing and snakelike, but whatever it is, you'll handle it.

When you fall through the gate, Lyllani and the monster are both there. The monster doesn't look at you, so it's probably Warrien. Great. The  _poet_. They're sitting at a table and Lyllani is putting together some kind of puzzle. Pelleon's also there, sitting in a corner and typing away on a set of coutans. Ketrian is wandering around by a table full of food, looking shallow and lost.

That nasty feeling called 'guilt' rears its head and you scowl. Jountos and Treckta arrive as you are approaching the techno-nerd.

"What do you want, Arcatha." He doesn't even look at you.

"What are you doing?" you asked, glaring at him. He is unfazed.

"I'm making a program so that we can all stay in touch no matter what device we use."

"Why would you do that? We've all got coutans."

"But we might not later on."

"That's ridiculous. Why wouldn't we?"

He finally looks at you, golden eyes narrowed. He opens his mouth, but before he can speak Lyllani lets out a yelp and tips back in her chair, hitting the ground as a meirax. She's up as whatever the thing the monster is in another instant.

"Pelleon! Why'd you do that?" she asks anxiously, reaching upward like she's trying to get something out of her specibus.

Pelleon doesn't answer for a moment, glancing at his coutans, then he shrugs and calls, "Your modus is dumb. I improved it."

"By  _jinxing_ me? I can't get anything out!"

"Sure you can." Pelleon turns away from her. "Besides, what would you need? We're handling this fine without you."

The poet rattles, making you both tense. "Your actions are extremely unwise for one who requests knowledge of the skies."

Relking poet.

"She'll live. I'll remove it later, anyway," Pelleon says with a shrug.

Lyllani huffs and shifts back into a meirax, eyes glazing as she concentrates on her sylladex. She doesn't even react when Veritan drops in, his form a cerebo. He's actually pretty  good looking, all things considered. You like his face, even if he's a little older than you.

Jountos and Treckta are flirting, which is a definite danger zone, so you go over to greet Veritan. He immediately focuses on you as you approach, something you appreciate. The laser-sharp focus is a little weird, but it means he's listening, which is what you want. Unfortunately, he's distracted by Ketrian's call. You don't bother with arguing and watch him go.

You pull out your coutan.

LittleDancer [LD] **contacted** PoliteLeracs [PL]

LD: I AM SorrY. I ShoulD HavE RealiseD ThE PoinT OF MY ArtifacT. InsteaD I GoT YoU KilleD. I GuesS OuR DeaL WilL NeveR HappeN NoW.  
User PoliteLeracs is unavailable  
LD: ThiS IS JusT A WastE OF TimE. SO StupiD. CaN YoU TelL I AM MimickinG WhaT YoU WoulD SaY?  
User PoliteLeracs is unavailable  
LD: WE ProbablY WoulD HavE LiveD LongeR WithouT ThiS GamE Anyway.  
User PoliteLeracs is unavailable

You glare at the alert and shove your coutan back into your Finery modus. The modus rejects it because you weren't being dainty and you take a calming breath and carefully slide it in again. It takes it. You don't know why you ever picked that modus. It's ridiculous.

Except it's not! It teaches you how to be the person you want to be. It's not ridiculous at all.

Ugh, Ketrian's coming toward you. Time to pretend you weren't just messaging his dead brother who you killed.

Except it wasn't your fault! They could have connected to him instead!

It's totally your fault and you need to admit it.

Yeah, when you're dead.

===> Be the techno-nerd

You're the techno-nerd. You're keeping an eye on Arcatha and Ketrian, who are arguing with increasing amounts of hand gestures while you listen to Veritan and Lyllani while also coding the program that you'll download into every contacting app by driving it into the fabric of reality as a component. The conversation isn't going well for Lyllani. So far, Veritan has interrupted her six times and the only time he didn't was when she greeted him. You kind of get it. She's just a kid, so she doesn't need to be included in all of this. The rest of you are adults, even Arcatha, though she hardly acts like it, so it's your problem. She's just along for the ride to safety.

"Veritan, I found-"

"Not now, Lyllani. I know you like to show me your rocks but I need to talk to Jountos."

"If it's about Time stuff I-"

"You're a Life player, Lani. The bed's on your Land and everything."

"You're right! That's why I want to-"

"Lani, I really appreciate that you're trying to be helpful, but none of us are injured, and if we do get injured we have medical supplies and quest beds. All you need to do is stay safe."

"I am staying safe, and everyone else could too if-"

"I'm glad you're being careful, even if you're around the...Fearran."

"He's Warrien right now, actually, since Fearran didn't want to come to the party. But I really think you should come with me!"

"I'll come help you with your puzzle later. Don't worry." He ruffles her hair and walks away. Lyllani shifts into whatever it is that Warrien spends all his time as, probably some long extinct race. Interesting, she had been a cerebro the entire conversation but as soon as he was gone she changed.

She stares after him for a moment, then inhales sharply and clacks her claws, turning around with a smile. She walks back to Warrien, who has been staring at the same puzzle piece for several ticks, and points out where it goes. You loosen your plating and lengthen your neck to see that it's a gradient puzzle in black and white. You know that kind of thing is easy for her, but there are barely any pieces in place. She must be teaching the monster. Talk about taming the beast.

Veritan suddenly lets out a howl and your neck snaps back downward with a jolt as you whip around to look at him. He's dropped to the ground, arms over his head and body curled and Lyllani is running toward him. Jountos and Treckta are both down in front of him but you can't hear what anyone is saying.

"She can't fly, you artac!" Warrien shouts and you flinch back automatically as he shoots past you, some winged creature that you don't know. The lack of another rhyme suggests that it's actually Fearran, but you don't think much about it because Ketrian is sitting back from the edge of the cliff, his wings fluffed in distress and his eyes wide, and Arcatha is not with him. Fearran, maybe, doesn't even stop as he dives over the edge. Lyllani's puzzle table got tipped over when he transformed and the pieces are scattered everywhere like a defunct chess board.

You captchalogue your coutans and rise at the same time Jountos does, both of you going over to Ketrian.

"It was an accident," he says immediately. "I didn't mean to. She said that it wasn't her fault and I pushed her. I didn't know she'd fall."

You and Jountos look at each other, then over the cliff. You can't see the bottom. You doubt he can, either. The awful sound of pain and grief that Veritan was making cuts off suddenly and you turn to see Treckta standing over him, her fist raised. There are cracks in the ground that weren't there before and you watch as she and Lyllani pull Veritan's unconscious body closer to the stable ground of the house. Lyllani's crying, a sertai like Treckta, but her eyes are focused.

"Stay here." Jountos's voice is raw. "Don't let Fearran kill him. It's a small possibility but be careful." He steps off the cliff and falls. You catch a glimpse of one of Ketrian's consorts, strange, furry things with a tough substance between their legs that lets them glide, flying by this time, but that's it. You know that part of Ketrian's quest is to stop the birds on his land from killing his consorts, but there's more to it that you don't know.

Fearran, it's definitely Fearran, suddenly lunges into view and tackles Ketrian, baring his teeth as he presses the claws of the winged creature he became against his neck. "What were you chitnicricking thinking?" he growls. The use of the term chitnicricking would be funnier if he didn't cause such a primal surge of fear in you. "We are limited! When one of us dies, we might as well all die! We do not need more loss!"

You have no idea what Jountos expected you to do against Fearran, so you're immensely relieved when he shifts off of Ketrian without waiting for an answer.

"You staying with your kin, Lily?" he bark-growls.

She nods and calls back, "His aspect did something to the sky before Treckta knocked him out, so be careful."

You watch with a peculiar mix of trepidation and awe as Fearran's features relax, eyes softening, head tipping. Even the rattle from his chest dies down. The whole change screams of confusion and it's gone so fast you think you imagined it because he's rattling ominously again as he takes flight and heads upward.

When Jountos comes back, it's with Arcatha in a hooded dress-pant-thing that has her Light sign on the chest. She speaks quietly to Ketrian as Jountos and Treckta leave and they hug and you suppose everything is alright...somehow. You hope that you never have to hear Veritan make that sound again.

===> Hear Veritan make that sound again

Less than half a moon later you're on his Land with Veritan and Treckta, trying to avoid the pools of silver blood and the imps everywhere as she works on collecting the wool that makes up part of his planet. You don't know why she wants it; you and Veritan got roped into it because the two of you were working on an alchemitizer upgrade together when she showed up.

She's fighting an imp for a wool ball, you're continuing to work on the upgrade on your coutan, and Veritan's concentrating on the Doom of the blood, which is really creepy because you assume that means it comes from somewhere when he suddenly stiffens. You and Treckta focus on him right away since it's his Land and he might know there's about to be a turon stampede or something, but instead he just lets out a whimper and presses his clawed hands to the sides of his head.

"No," he gasps, and then he screams.

Treckta has her coutan out in an instant. She's typing into a memo you all made a while back, Survival of the Unfittest. You think it's kind of funny. Some of the others don't agree but you've kept it.

FC: vrybdy chck n rght nw! vrtns frkng! plln nd r fn.  
AD: Ii aam ookaay. Soo iis Aarcaathaa. Wee weeree juust taalkiing.  
LD: I AM  
LD: OH. ThanK YoU FoR TellinG TheM.  
QV: Me Too....  
CS: aND Me so ANYone GOT eyeS ON lilY  
FC: hvnt hrd frm hr snc lst rs. gv hr sm clths.  
QV: i CaN NoT See HeR....THeRe iS oNLY DaRKNeSS WHeN i TRY To LooK....  
AD: Whoo iis clooseest too heer Laand?  
ST: Us, but we are with her kin as wEll.  
LD: HolD ON DoeS AnyonE HeaR ThaT?

You and Treckta look at each other, both of you lifting your ears higher. Music sounds, clear and beautiful, and unbelievably sad. Veritan isn't screaming anymore, just sobbing, and the sound of the music makes you want to join him.

CS: LAnd oF SOrroW ANd muSIC  
CS: it iS HEr laND We heAR  
CS: She cOMPletED Her qUESt  
AD: Thaat iis iimpoosiiblee. Noonee oof uus haavee. It haas noot beeeen loong eenoouugh.  
CS: yoU GOt anOTHer eXPLanaTIOn  
QV: THaT DoeS NoT EXPLaiN HoW SHe CouLD HaVe DieD....i aM HeaDiNG THeRe NoW....  
SS: Dont!!! Im okay i swear!!!!!  
SS: But nobody can come to my land unless theyve tiered!!!! My consorts will kill you if you arent and i dont have your beds here!!!!!  
AD: Whaat? Buut yoouu doo noot haavee coonsoorts.  
SS: Um kind of????? I didnt but they were actually just dead and my denizen told me how to bring them back!!!!!!!  
SS: And she gave me a choice that i had to accept because if i didnt i think it would have been really bad! Im sorry i made every worry!!!!  
QV: WHaT DiD You aGRee To LYLLaNI???? iT WaS Too eaRLY FoR THaT eNCouNTeR....  
SS: I had to!! I didnt even go there myself cerist just made me appear!!!  
FC: y shld gt hr llyn. yr kn s n bd shp.  
SS: I cant yet! I have to stop the music or itll be really bad!!!  
SS: Ill come as soon as i can!! And right now arcatha is the only one allowed on my land!!!!!!  
LD: JusT BecausE I AM GoD TieR?  
QV: LYLLaNi!!!! WHaT DiD You CHooSe????

===> Lyllani: Don't tell them your Choice

You don't tell. You stick your miniature coutan back into the pocket of your tier hoodie and fly through the swarm of your consorts, dodging their points. You know even one graze can kill you. Their first reaction was really just overkill.

It's hard to see through your tears; the pain didn't last but you still feel it and the music is making you cry, too. You slam your axe into the humming crystal again. A piece breaks off and a consort viciously attacks it. You don't look.

Cerist lies behind you, still and unmoving. **You may fight me and take my life, heal this tree, and be sacrificed so that all others may live,** she had informed you. **Or you may do nothing and survive while all others do not. It is a choice you must make now. It is The Choice.**

It wasn't a choice. You had picked the first one without hesitating. Everyone else would live.

You just aren't sure why you didn't stay dead.

You hit the crystal again and it shatters, but not a single piece hits you. The amplified version of the music stops and you can only hear it from the tiny crystals buried in the land beneath your feet. You go to find Veritan.

===> Be Treckta in the short future

You're Treckta, five rises later. You're asleep, flying to Derse's moon because that's what the clouds told you to do. You had been on Lyllani duty, but Pelleon had switched out with you so you'd decided to take a nap with Jountos, who has been working nonstop to complete his world's quest. He Saw something that he's working hard to prevent, but he needs to rest.

Veritan also has a quest to do, but he doesn't want to risk Lyllani's safety, so he's been calling in babysitters. She doesn't seem to mind that much. Good kid. Always smiling. She understands how hard it is for Veritan and she does her best.

You land slowly on a Derse rooftop, aware of the dangers of the Dersite carpacians. To your surprise, you see Ketrian sneakily flying by. You shift into a wiratl too and follow him, not nearly as sneaky because of your Prospit pajamas. He reaches a ruined tower and floats there for a moment before landing and beginning to move the rubble.

You know for a fact that his dream body is dead, and his clothes indicate that this is the real deal. You're not sure what he's doing until he pulls up a trapdoor and plummets into it. You hastily follow, but not before spooking a Dersite. You're halfway down the tunnel, which seems to be a straight drop, when you hear an explosive boom.

Okay, relk caution. You fold your wings and plummet, suddenly spreading your wings as it opens up in what you realize is the moon's center. There are five quest beds hovering there, but one of them is practically rubble. Ketrian's sitting on the blue one, his eyes wide as you stare at each other. Your gaze drops to the outfit he's now wearing.

"My dream self was dead," he says. "I had to do it here."

You stare.

"I'm not dying during this game. The best way to guarantee that is for me to do this. I talked to Jountos. He didn't like it, but he told me that it would work."

You pull out your coutan and message Veritan to tell him that Ketrian was only temporarily dead. Then you punch your leader in the face and knock him off the bed.

===> Be Ketrian in the similarly short future

"It was an accident," he says.

"An accident."

"I didn't know that it would happen!"

"You didn't know."

"You can't judge me when you went and..." Veritan trails off and waves a hand at you. You wince guiltily. "At least I didn't mean to!"

"I don't know why you thought going to see what the Black King was like was a good idea," Jountos says mildly.

"We all prototyped such weak things! I just figured that it would work out alright!"

You sigh, absently petting one of your consorts. They're oddly affectionate at times. "At least now we know that the Black King is more dangerous than we thought. Let's just be grateful that you managed to make it back to your bed before you died."

Jountos chuckles and shakes his head, standing. A few consorts tumble from his lap, but there are one or two nestled in his spines and purring that he doesn't try to move. "Well, while it has been fun learning that you went and got yourself god tiered, I'm going to go relieve Treckta of Lyllani duty. She and I," he pauses dramatically, "have a da-" And he collapses.

You and Veritan stare at him for a moment, then both of you jerk back as his form flickers and he shifts into a regular telun. The consorts fall and you cringe at the sounds of them hitting his newly fragile body. You look sharply at Veritan.

"I don't feel anything," he whispers, slowly stepping closer. He crouches and reaches out, glancing nervously at you, then presses the back of his claws to Jountos's core. "I don't, I can't tell..."

Your coutan buzzes, a call, not a message, and Veritan glances at you. You pull it out. Lyllani.

"Hel-"

"Get Jountos to a bed right now!" She's practically screaming and you almost drop the coutan. "Please tell me you know where he is, Ket!"

You shove the coutan at Veritan and he fumbles with it as you call the winds, lifting Jountos like you lift your consorts.

"We've got him, Lani," he says, following you in the air to the gate. You thank the skies that you were on your Land, just a gate away from his. "We're heading to his bed now."

"Hurry!" you hear her frantic reply. "Treckta's unconscious and I'm trying to heal it but it keeps breaking and I don't know how long I can keep doing it! I can't fly her to her bed like this, either; I wouldn't be able to do both, Veri!"

His voice is admirably calm as he replies, "It's okay. We're heading there right now. Just keep doing what you're doing. It's going to be okay."

You know where his bed is. Early on, you, well, he, since you were still lost, made sure everyone knew where every quest bed was. You are grateful for that. The pastel-colored lizards that are his consorts watch as you pass them, standing out brightly against the shadows that come from nothing over his land. You aren't sure what his quest is, actually, you realize as you set him on the bed.

Behind you, Veritan updates Lyllani. You watch as tiny beetles with black and green shells fly in from every direction and you step back. Light glows into existence around him and you distantly hear ticking, then Jountos hovers higher in the air and a god teir outfit appeared as he landed and coughed violently, pushing himself up and returning to his usual form, though a little bigger than usual.

"He's okay," Veritan says to Lyllani.

"We're coming to you. Treckta's waking up."

"Jountos, what happened?" You ask anxiously and for a moment he just stares at you, then he smiles and shrugs.

"Guess it was just my time." There's a growl to his voice that makes you feel the same shiver Fearran gives you and you glance at Veritan to see that his wide eyes suggest he felt it too. "Nothing to worry about now. I didn't See that coming, but I know how everything else will go now."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Veritan asks. "I didn't even feel anything. It was really odd."

Jountos shrugs again. "You tiered. Things work differently for us."

Veritan makes a noncommittal noise and looks at you again. You hesitantly shrug, attributing the ringing feeling of  _wrongness_ just to the fact that he suddenly died. He's back now. Everything's going to be okay.

=====>Next up, Intermission Part III: Nothing is Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the reader's reference:  
> Ketrian Riotall: Land of Cliffs and Birds, Derse, Knight of Breath, tiered  
> Jountos Tervati: Land of Shadows and Spears, Prospit, Seer of Time, tiered  
> Treckta Liarrta: Land of Art and Violets, Prospit, Thief of Hope, untiered  
> Veritan Arttana: Land of Wool and Blood, Derse, Prince of Doom, tiered  
> Fearran/Warrien Crealls: Land of Mirrors and Thorns, both...kind of, Bard of Heart, tiered  
> Lyllani Arttana: Land of Sorrow and Music, Prospit, Sylph of Life, tiered  
> Pelleon Verstii: Land of Dreams and Wax, Derse, Rogue of Space, untiered  
> Arcatha Durallt: Land of Gorges and Fire, Derse, Maid of Light, tiered  
> Deceased Players (would have had):  
> Keirtal Riotall: Land of Metal and Frogs, Derse, Mage of Void  
> Reeihvo Zaltree: Land of Towers and Gold, Prospit, Page of Blood


	56. Intermission Part III: Nothing is Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for graphic depictions of violence

===> Be Jountos

You are now Jountos.

===> Realize you should be dead

Ah, yes, the nasty tendency the universe has to decide that something shouldn't exist. It's quite rude, really. Most of you were good people. Resistance leaders, husbands, boyfriends, kings...well. It hardly matters now.  _This_ you lived. And you don't plan on dying.

===> Tone back the creepy

You're hardly being creepy. You're smiling amicably while you wave to your Truth as she flies off to a meteor to make clones of all of you. It's a vital step forward in your survival and you See it going well. You examine the Time and are mildly surprised when you See a reality where you're talking to Lyllani. She's much smaller than you, of course, so the Sight is rather amusing, and she's speaking with wide eyes and a smile. You doubt the conversation matters so you choose to ignore it in favor of returning to your Land.

Technically, your quest is to eradicate the shadows and free the consorts. That seems like a waste of time, though, so you head straight to the home of your Denizen. It has been moons. The battle against the Black King has passed and with your combined power and manipulation of the monster, placing Lyllani in a position of just enough harm that the freak would attack, it was wildly successful. You are ready.

Its name is Adevs. It greets you by sending a variety of noisy thoughts at you that translate to, **you should be dead.** How friendly! You, friendly in response, remove its head and reply, "Maybe, but you definitely  _are_ dead!"

Then you go and get the massive sword that it had in a chest behind it in accordance with what you Saw. The chest is empty. What the relk why is the chest empty. The chest isn't supposed to be empty. You saw yourself defeating your denizen and wielding the sword. This is not supposed to be what happened.

No.

Wait.

You may have Seen yourself defeating your denizen wielding the sword.

Relk.

But that means you should have it!

Why don't you have it?

You didn't do anything that

Oh.

You didn't talk to Lyllani.

Relk.

You check the Time. You really don't have enough of it to go talk to her. It's really just an annoyance, anyway. It would have been nice to have the sword, but you don't need it. You kick the chest shut and fly off.

===> Be Veritan

You're Veritan. You're having a bad rise and you don't know why. Your head is throbbing and you've randomly panicked multiple times now, jumping at shadows and seeing odd shapes where there were none. You're practically clinging to Lyllani, certain that something is going to appear and kill her. You don't even mind that Fearran is sticking close, though his head is nodding in a way that you know means Warrien will wake up soon.

You don't know how he god tiered. Or when, for that matter. He just showed up in Bard uniform one rise and when Ketrian asked about it he looked at him like he was crazy and said that he was wounded in a battle a while back and the game registered it as a death since it should have/would have killed him and he got the outfit. You're not sure  _what_ could wound him, unless he was Warrien because Warrien's actually a lot less aggressive than Fearran.

A turon emerges from a wool bush and you have a moment of OH SKIES WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE before you remember that even if you did die you'd come back because death by turon sounds very unheroic. You try to concentrate on what Lyllani's saying instead.

"...planets which is really weird. The weaponry that was available there makes me think that there was meant to be some kind of mass collaboration where each planet would be tackled with everyone working as a group. I think my Land would have actually been toward the middle since my quest would have ended with everyone dying, but I think the consorts must take us to our beds because I _know_ I wasn't anywhere near mine when I completed my quest."

You consider that. She's right, actually. You'd been pretty certain you were going to die, but a bunch of your turons had showed up and let you use them as support to get to your bed.

"And we didn't do that," Fearran says drowsily. "So what happens?"

"I'm not sure. It's all sort of a stretch and maybe it's just dumb and, like, my ideal thing, to try to bring it up like that, where we all live and work together for a happy ending." She trails off as Fearran stops in place, his head drooping.

You wonder absently how long he's stayed awake. And why, for that matter. You don't think he spent that much time on his planet, except for early on when he had been visiting Lyllani instead of the other way around and you had seen blood on his hands from, you learned, hitting the mirrors.

You remember that you should probably tell Lyllani that you think she's right about the consorts, but then there's an excruciating pain in your middle, followed closely by a sense of shock and what you think is astonishment. You double over with a gasp, your headache increasing and  _there's_ the scream. You have a theory that it isn't so much a scream as a sudden rush of everything the person has ever seen or heard, but you're usually in too much pain to figure out how to breathe, let alone test that theory.

You see sparks of orange and know that Lyllani's trying to heal you. Even though nothing is hurt, it actually helps. She had mentioned wanting to try it and hoping she never had to. It's not nearly as raw as it usually is when you try to breathe and your headache recedes to only mildly painful.

"Treckta," you choke out and Lyllani lets out a meirax whine. It's a little amusing how she carries traits of different forms even when she isn't using them. You think it's part of her mutation. She hasn't ever noticed. You think of Jountos's message about another part of her mutation a while back, the one you've really been trying not to think about, and grimace.

You decide that healing is helpful but also not because it clears up your mind enough that you can think. Like, what will happen to Jountos with Treckta dead? You don't want to lose another friend. Not to mention that he said that he knew why no new universe entrance appeared after you killed the King and that he would handle it.

She's in the Veil and her dream self was killed by the Dersite spy the same rise Jountos god tiered. Unless you somehow managed to get her to Prospit's moon...

"We need to go to LOCAB," Warrien says. It's funny how you can tell them apart now. "This will hit more than a simple stab. The sorrow is deep and there is no Time to keep."

"Sorrow," Lyllani says softly. "My denizen, she promised..." She stops. "Maybe Treckta isn't really dead. I made The Choice so she can't be dead." You don't know how, but you can hear the underline.

"A Choiceis not always what it seems. The denizen may have had deeper schemes."

Lyllani's orange sparks die, but you're already less Doom-y enough that it's okay. The three of you don't even need wings to fly, but Lyllani still sticks close to you as you take flight. It makes you a little guilty because you know she's thinking of the time before the game when you'd been hit with the Doom while going for a flight and fallen. She'd had to find you as a meirax, and you'd been hurt badly enough that she had gotten Jountos to come to your planet and teach her how to set broken bones.

There really is no power greater than her tears.

Ketrian is waiting for you when you arrive, skipping the gates and just flying through space. (Treckta's planet is gray like the husks of Reeihvo's and Keirtal's.) Arcatha and Pelleon are there too, and you're surprised when Jountos flies in a moment later. He's pale and his arm is bleeding.

"Jountos," Ketrian says, wide-eyed.

"Lyllani," Jountos grunts, holding out his arm. She goes over to him quickly, holding her hands over his arm. "I fought my denizen," he says to the rest of you.

"Did he give you The Choice?" Arcatha asks.

"No." The orange sparks brighten and the blood vanishes to reveal that it's a bleeding loop around his arm, like a too tight bracelet cut his...armor. What could have done that? "I didn't need one."

"Hey," Pelleon says, "what happened to your arm?"

"I've realized something," Jountos continues, his voice a low rattle that's just  _wrong_ coming from him. "We were never meant to win."

Warrien steps forward, his ears angled back. You follow his gaze to Lyllani, who is frowning at the injury.

_Wrongwrongwrongwrong._

"We didn't have the planet with the frogs, which would have created our new realm," Jountos continues. "So we weren't meant to make a new world."

"Then what were we meant to do?" Arcatha asks with a huff. "Lie down and die?"

"Jountos, what did that to your arm? That's not a denizen's attack, is it?" Pelleon speaks again and he's standing, body tight and compacted, all of his plating condensed. You can barely see his eyes.

"We were meant to  _find_ a new world," Jountos purrs.

Lyllani drops her hands. The injury is gone. Still, there is something  _wrong_.

"The only one of us who wasn't meant for this is you," Jountos gestures at Warrien, who's gaze snaps from Lyllani to him. "You're a monster no matter what your past is. I know what you've done, him and you. You were the twin gods, no? Fear...and War."

Everyone is looking at Warrien now. His ears flatten to his head.

"You weren't always this timid little liar who spouts rhymes and melodies for whatever sky foresaken reason. He spread fear, and you allowed that fear to fester and grow and become  _war_. It's because of you that we were in danger in the first place! You're the reason that universal war existed! You're the one who made mutants a commodity, a  _weapon_ to be utilized."

"No!" Warrien says. "I  _didn't_! You speak these words as though you know the past that once befell me yet you do not and you yourself are a wrongness in this world! I see how your Heart has become and it is-"

Jountos moves faster than you've ever seen him and suddenly Warrien's on the ground, Jountos's paw over his mouth. You briefly revel in the rhythmic way Warrien had been speaking, not rhymes but still the poetry you've gotten used to hearing.

"I know what you are," Jountos hisses. "I See it clearly now. You want to talk about  _my_ Heart when you don't even have one?"

"Jountos, stop it," Lyllani says. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"And you do?" he scoffs at her. "He's probably fed you some fanciful story that is fit for the child you are! Your usefulness is limited to entertainment and a rare healing. I wonder how long before this  _thing_ got bored with your company." He presses harder downward and Warrien's eyes narrow. The ground cracks.

"Jountos, isn't this a little extreme?" Ketrian says cautiously. "I'm not even sure what you're trying to prove here. He's one of us, no matter what."

"No he isn't! He isn't even a true telun! He has no luxtru!"

You automatically look at Lyllani. You don't like what that implies. Warrien's narrowed eyes instantly switch to pained and you hear a low, agonized sound that seems to vibrate out of the land itself.

"And what about you? Apparently your luxtru doesn't seem so bothered by the death of your Truth," Pelleon says.

Jountos stills briefly. "I shrank it," he says. "Can't feel a thing."

"I'd say it's at the very least making you crazy."

He laughs  _wrongwrongwrong_. "I was always crazy. But you lot have to be the truly crazy ones to not know what it is that we're dealing with here." He draws back a foot and slams it into the ground, leaping back and releasing Warrien. The Bard doesn't try to rise and before you can think to stop her Lyllani's leaping past you as a meirax and driving her claws into the frilly parts of his cape and curling her paws inward, toppling backward and dragging Warrien half onto the solid ground again.

Jountos watches with a scowl, but doesn't try to intervene as Lyllani uses her teeth to grab Warrien's hood and pull him the rest of the way up. She rests a paw on his chest, lowering her head and flattening her ears at Jountos and you realize that Warrien is crying, his eyes closed but clearly not Fearran. You step between them.

"That was unnecessary," you say.

"What gave you that injury, Jountos?" Pelleon calls and there's a low anger to his voice that makes you realize that he knows the answer already. If he knows, you should be able to figure it out too, you'd think.

It looked like a bracelet that was too tight. A full loop around his- oh skies you think you're going to be ill.

"We are meant to rule the worlds that others create!" Jountos roars at the others, turning his back on you three. "This is a dead end! We have no hope here! We are the true leaders, able to be anything and anyone! Do not look at me like I am a monster when you have spent this whole session turning your back as you allow a  _child_ to gallivant about with a beast that has committed greater atrocities than I ever could!"

"You killed your own Truth," you say, stepping toward him. "You think anything is worse than that?"

"You don't  _know_ what I have Seen!"

Jountos turns and he's holding a sword and you step back and brace yourself and again, when did she become so fast, Lyllani is suddenly there. The weapon clangs across her metal coat and sends her crashing into Ketrian's nest, hitting a wall and sliding to the base without moving. You dodge around Jountos to run to her and gasp in relief when you see that she's breathing, not bleeding.

"I would spare you!" Jountos says. "I could have killed her but I did not! No one else needs to die this rise! We can leave this ended session and we will find another where we will rule as we were _meant_ to!"

"None of us were meant to rule," Ketrian says softly. "Not even you, Jountos. You hated the position you were expected to hold, don't you remember?"

For a long moment, there's only silence as an answer. Then Jountos snarls and his form grows, shoulders broadening and spines growing taller and fatter and much more terrifying. "Fine. I thought you would be different. But I suppose I underestimated you."

He picks up Warrien around his waist and turns, flinging him away. Ketrian draws his Twelve-Pointed Candelabra and the poisoned wax oozes but he doesn't even get to move before Jountos has slammed into him and driven him against the wall beside you and Lyllani. Violet feathers shower around you and your head explodes with pain as he slumps against the wall leaving a trail of silver from his own head, form reverting to a telun, eyes open and unseeing.

You think you can hear the chimes of a clock, rattling and booming as it shifts between Heroic and Just. No one moves as you all wait to see if he'll come back. The clock settles on Heroic. He does not come back.

"You see what happens if you challenge me?" Jountos bellows. "You will not come back from this!"

"Lucky me," Pelleon says, armored and shielded. "And here I thought I could suddenly pop back without having to need the fancy pajamas."

Jountos snarls and lowers his body to meet Pelleon as he rushes forward. At the last moment, Pelleon drops to the ground and rolls to the side, revealing that Arcatha had been flying low behind him. She doesn't hesitate, swinging a staff with spikes in a loop at the end and connecting with Jountos's middle. He jolts to the side, ripping the staff from her hands, and backhands her all the way to another cliff, where she lands on a ledge and doesn't move.

He's so huge at this point that any hit is lethal and all you have is knives, not to mention a sister to protect.

"You and Veritan," Jountos says, gaze flicking between you and Pelleon. A shieldkind user and a knifekind user against a massive swordkind user. "You're smart. You have potential for greatness! I See it!"

You and Pelleon look at each other as he keeps talking. His shield shifts to one covered in spikes. You draw your largest knives, black and shiny, found on your Land. You lower one hand to brush it against Lyllani's head, then nod to Pelleon. He nods back and you both lunge forward, you taking a byorg form so you have the same extra plating he's using to protect himself even if you don't have his armor. Jountos groans and draws two swords, thin and straight and tiny in his grip. One of them you barely block with your knife as he goes for your side and the other Pelleon catches on his shield and immediately flings the shield at Jountos, where it sticks to him like a piece of paper, causing the same barest leak of silver that Arcatha's attack did.

The two of you end up next to each other again and in a flicker Pelleon sends a set of armor to you. You equip it and silently thank him as the two of you lunge again, you flying high for the eyes since you can actually fly without changing your form and Pelleon going for his legs. Jountos weaves around you and you block the swords again, but this time they send your knives flying. You hastily equip new ones and raise them to catch the first sword but where is the other sword, you can't

Pain explodes in your chest and you drop from the air, trying to grasp if it was actually you that got hit. You turn your head and meet Pelleon's stunned gaze and Jountos yanks the sword out of his armor. Silver immediately begins to stain the land and you know that Pelleon's dying and there's nothing you can do.

"Work with me here, Veritan! Don't make me kill all of you! We could be great! You'd be my advisor!"

You shove yourself up, shifting your grip on your knives. Maybe you can feint it. Go for an attack, grab Pelleon, and get to his Land for- no! His dream self is dead too! Derse is too far away! Why did so many agents attack at once like that?

Wait.

"Did you set the Dersites on us?" you ask, staring at Jountos.

"See? That's what I mean!" Jountos smiles like he isn't waving around a sword stained by Pelleon's blood. "You pick things up fast! I knew that everyone who was going to god tier had, so dream selves weren't necessary!"

"You killed your own Truth, twice," you say.

"Eh...if you're being technical, I only did it once, actually. The other time I only hired a guy to do it."

"What  _happened_ to you?" you ask desperately.

Jountos smiles and shrugs. "I died!" He laughs the  _wrong_ laugh. "I'll tell you what, Veritan! I've always liked you, so I'll spare your useless little sister, too! You work with me and I'll let her live! Happily ever after for the family!"

"She  _isn't_ useless," Pelleon snarls and you look at him to see that he's trying to push himself up. It hurts so badly just for you; how is he doing it? "She's a genius, you buffoon."

"Very nice, exaggerating with your dying breaths to try to make her seem more useful. Admirable. Heroic, even! Too bad you didn't god tier! Now you'll just die a normal death instead of a heroi-"

Jountos stops at a peculiar squelching, cracking sound. He looks down. The world seems to move more slowly as you process that Lyllani stands behind him, a green axe you've never seen before in her hands. There are vines crawling up her arms but she doesn't seem phased as she swings the axe again. The blade expands with the motion, pulsing silver, and connects with both his legs. He falls, a comically surprised look on his face.

You dive forward and grab Pelleon, dragging him out of the way. He must have seen her and spoken up to act as a distraction.

You turn back to see Lyllani drop the axe and turn into a meirax, leaping onto Jountos's back and fully extending all of her claws. They rip into the armored plates and you numbly register that you feel it as she yanks the armor from his writhing, leggless body and sinks her claws into the soft tissue of his back. Jountos screeches but doesn't thrash as her claws slice back and something that's probably important is ripped out. In an instant, Jountos is eerily still.

Lyllani tumbles off of him even as you hear the clock chiming, see it land on Just, and almost sob in a confused mix of emotions that you don't even know how to name. She turns into a byorg, flickers, a cerebo, flickers again and she's a sertai. She's covered in his blood and silently crying as she crawls to you and Pelleon, holding shaking hands over Pelleon's chest.

"It's not, I can't feel it," she whispers.

"'s okay," Pelleon mumbles. "You can do it, Lan."

He keeps talking but her hands don't spark. They're practically pressed to the wound when you look up and see Arcatha stir on the ledge where she'd fallen. You hastily fly to her and catch her before she falls and she clings to you unsteadily, mumbling under her breath. Blood is trickling down her silver fur and you land back on the cliff of Ketrian's nest, setting her down carefully to try to see where she's hurt. When you're approaching, you can see the telun that Jountos turned into. He looks so small. His back is ripped open and you don't need to know anatomy to know that there are empty spaces where there shouldn't be.

You look at Arcatha instead.

There's a massive piece of rock embedded in the back of her shoulder.

"I'm going to need to pull it out," you say slowly.

She moans softly and you discover that her head is also bleeding when she slumps against you.

"I'm sorry," you mumble, hearing Lyllani saying the same thing as Pelleon's voice trails into nothing. She buries her face in her bloody hands and screams. You pull the rock from Arcatha's shoulder and immediately apply pressure as blood flows freely. It's pointed, but not as large as you thought. It can heal. It  _has_ to heal. Arcatha is barely conscious and hasn't moved much when Fearran comes flying up.

"Fuck," he says coherently and drops to the ground in front of Pelleon, next to Lyllani. He wraps an arm around her and closes his eyes as she turns and clings to him with a howling sob and when he opens his eyes you know it's Warrien again and he's crying too, whispering apologies.

You feel it in the air without even knowing what  _it_ is and look up.

GAME OVER

The sky begins to break around the words, pixelating and crumbling apart.

"No," you say numbly. "No, no, we're still here. It isn't over."

"We need to leave," Warrien mumbles, releasing Lyllani and standing. He takes a form you don't know, green skinned and muscled. "We don't have time to grieve."

"Where would we even go?"

"Through reality." His voice is raw. He doesn't rhyme. Lyllani told you once that Warrien rhymes because it keeps him thinking so that he doesn't succumb to the emotions he and Fearran can both always feel. "I can tether us to each other. Make it so that we can focus on our Hearts and meet again."

"Meet again?" you repeat incredulously. "We're splitting up?"

"We're leaving them?" Lyllani asks, reaching toward Pelleon without touching him.

"We have a better chance of finding somewhere we can survive if we are apart. As cherubs. This form."

You watch as Lyllani changes. The blood vanishes. She stands. "What about Arcatha? She's alive, but not awake," she says. Her eyes are dull and you remember how you had wanted to give her the world at the beginning of this. How you still do but it means so much less.

Warrien crouches and grips your shoulder. Lyllani takes his hand when he offers it. The space seems to snap around you and you have one last glimpse of the pixels being pulled apart before you're in empty space. For an instant you panic, but you can breathe with god tier powers and you've flown through space before. Just...not this empty. He pulls you all to a drifting meteor and you somehow know it isn't one from the Veil.

"We'll wait here," he says hollowly. "I've tethered us with that leap."

You look at Arcatha and nod.

"I'll be right back," Lyllani says quietly. You look up to ask where she's going, but she's already gone.

===> Lyllani: Where did you go?

You walk into the ectobiology room and stop, looking at how the edges of it are blurring and coming apart. You look at Treckta, lying still and unseeing, a telun, of course, her body oddly folded. You imagine him hugging her, grip slowly tightening until she realized what he was doing and tried to loosen his grip with her wires but by then it was too late.

The console informs you that all of the clones were sent successfully. That's what you came to check, but you still linger, looking at Treckta.

"I'm sorry," you tell her, crouching and reaching for her sylladex. It's unraveling so you don't have to stitch anything. Everything pours out when you eject it.

 _"Tell you what. I don't plan on dying, but if I do, I want to be buried in flowers. That sounds like a nice way to be remembered, doesn't_ _it?"_

The mass of flowers you two had picked from her planet is still there. You pick them up and carefully shower them over her. You wonder if she knew.

"I killed him," you say when you're done. "I'm sorry."

She doesn't answer. You look at everything else that had come out. She'd worked a lot on clothes when she'd been busy making sure you didn't get yourself killed again. You hadn't realized how many. There's a package, to your surprise. You move over to it.

fr lylln :.)!

You stare. That silly little smile with the dot nose because she had said you had a button nose when you turned sertai. You pick up the package and let your jinx modus take it as you return to the meteor. Veritan relaxes when he sees you. You shift into a meirax and curl up next to him, closing your eyes.

_You never do anything right. You really are useless. But not to us. Come to us and we will love you anyway._

* * *

End Intermission

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It occurs to me that Jountos was the last person Lyllani successfully healed in her session.


	57. Chapter 57

===> Be Lyllani in the present again

You're back to being Lyllani in the present. You're currently sitting next to Dave while he's doubled over gasping for breath. That part is your fault because you asked him if he wanted to talk about it, it being his feelings toward Karkat. He has accepted that he has the feelings, but from what you understand the 'bro' that he thought was cool at the beginning has steadily gotten _less_ cool as Dave has understood certain things about him. You've had a few versions of this interaction with alternate reality Dave's, and a dream bubble one, but this Dave is more personal.

You and Eridan have talked about their relationship and agreed that it's okay if you handle Dave when he vanishes for a while and Eridan does the same to Karkat who, though not vanishing, gets very convinced that Dave has no more interest in spending time with him and needs assurance. You're pretty good at finding Dave, though you feel sort of like it's cheating to use the tethering thing that Warrien did when you're not even a Heart player.

And isn't that a shame. You'd probably be able to do more as a Sylph of Heart.

So, yeah. You're sitting next to Dave, somewhere in the darkness of the meteor, carefully not touching his back as he hyperventilates. Excellent mock-moiral skills you've got.

"Dave?" you say softly. "This is about more than just your dead bro, isn't it?"

Dave's breath hitches and he sits up slightly. "Did Karkles or one of them tell you about that dream meeting we had?"

You think for a moment. "That first one with Meenah?" You and Eridan had been in a reality with another dead Jountos, he's always, always dead. The two have you have pretty much stopped looking for your version of him and focused on finding out if he's dead. You have a theory on why he became the way he did and you don't like it, but it's proving itself true.

"That one," Dave confirms. "He tell you that we saw my bro?"

Technically, it was Kanaya that told you about it, when she was fitting you and Eridan in different clothes, but you nod anyway. "I don't think Dirk is the same person."

Dave frowns vaguely. "Who?"

Wait.

What.

"Your bro?"

"His name is _Dirk_? How do you even...have you _met_ him?" Dave is sitting upright suddenly, staring at you.

"Yeah, in several other realities. But you two always seem close."

"I'm _close_ to him?" He doubles over again, hyperventilating.  "He's a fucking psychopath! How can I be close to him?"

You messed up. "Dave, Dave, look at me. Dave." You reach out and clasp his shoulders with your hands, pushing his body up slightly as you move in front of him. "I'll make you a deal. If Dirk is the same as your brother, you don't even have to deal with him. Just shoot me a message and I'll swap out with you and beat the quitni out of him, then kick him into the next reality so you never have to see him again."

Dave makes a wheezy laughing noise. "You shouldn't say things like that, Lani. Just reminds me how OP you are."

You huff and release him, smacking him lightly on the nose. Not a real pap, but close. "It's okay, Dave. In this reality, you and Karkat are meant to be together. I promise."

"Humans and trolls don't have Truths," he grumbles, but you told him the truth about his sword during the first one of these panics you'd found him in and you know he believed you then.

"Lyll?" Eridan calls and you glance at Dave. He shrugs.

"Here," you reply, turning to meet your moiral as he comes forward. He's carrying a plate of spaghetti.

"I'm supposed to watch you eat this. Lalonde made it and Kar threatened to force feed you himself if you didn't." He hands the plate to Dave, who rolls his eyes but starts eating. "Kan says we should only go through one or two more realities, since we'll probably be arriving this year," he continues to you, walking over and fixing your scarf absently.

"Okay. Just to be safe, how about only one?"

He nods and chirps as he rubs the scar on your shoulder. You've been letting them come back, little by little, and at this point, the last ones are the four that killed you for your last moment of 'mortality' in your session. Most of them are from imps, your poor attempts to rush the healing and resulting in scars. One on your stomach is from a soldier who saw your eyes and acted accordingly. You were too young to remember, but Eridan growled when you told him about it.

You chirp back at him and Dave rolls his eyes. "Gog, get a room," he says around his mouthful.

Eridan's fins twitch in irritated amusement. "You seemed fine with it when you asked us to give you different vocalizations for your raps," he teases.

"Oh, come on, you were thrilled when I showed you how great it was, with your weird seadweller's-aren't-normal-trolls sounds. Besides, Karkles blushed like crazy when he heard and that was priceless."

"I'm glad you were able to use telun music like that, too," you say, interrupting Eridan's flustered attempt to deny.

Dave holds out a fist to you. "Epic gifts, Lani."

You grin and bump his fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, bookwormSpacer brought to my attention how some of the names of my shifters could be interpreted as meaning something, as Warrien and Fearran are War and Fear. This is a seriously awesome suggestion and I think I want to think of who's what.  
> So a breakdown of what I think/bookwormSpacer suggested so far:  
> Jountos= Justice  
> Pelleon= Pestilence  
> Warrien/Fearran= War/Fear  
> Veritan= Truth (non-romantic)  
> Arcatha= (google translate suggests it means) The Battle (interesting for what's going on in her head)  
> Lyllani= Flower of the Sky (combination of different languages)  
> Ketrain= Catcher of Night  
> Keirtal= One who Falls (another combination)  
> Treckta= Tracer of Paths  
> Reeihvo= Flows Within (google translate breaking down his name, interesting cuz he's blood which certainly flows within people)  
> Thank you, bookwormSpacer!


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops accidentally posted.

Vriska and Terezi are off doing their usual FLARPing without the F involved as much and the rest of you are sitting in the common block, even Gamzee. He's wearing your sunglasses and probably talking to Artaon about Fearran. He's been doing that more as you've gotten closer. Karkat and Dave are watching a movie together on the couch and Rose and Kanaya are nestled beside each other, reading from a book that is not Complacency. Hal had asked if she wanted the next one after you'd mentioned she'd borrowed the first from Eridan, and when you'd relayed the question to Rose, she refused, stating "I want to write them myself, first, and then see what the differences are living with the experiences I had as opposed to the experiences she had."

Eridan is pulling a fish dish wrapped in a breading you made out of the oven when Karkat moans, "This is the ninth time we've watched this movie this week!"

"Bro, we literally watched In Which A Young Troll Discovers Her Love of Dance and Also Her Love of the Hunk Dance Instructor and They Proceed to Dance Their Way To Joy Before Being Separated Forever By The End Of The Camp back to back twenty four times yesterday."

"That's not the full title and you know it!" Karkat crosses his arms. "There's just nothing new! Unless..." He turns to stare at you and Eridan. Dave catches on fast and turns to mirror his stare. You've given them movies before, for holidays or for random gifts, but they've caught on that you have more. Usually, they don't want to watch yours as much because they're so long. They're based on books they've never read and directors are careful to include every possible part of the books, something you love.

You look at Eridan and he suggests, "Spell? That's a pretty good one."

That's a shorter one about what is later revealed to be the introduction of magic into a world that knew nothing of it.

"There's no romance, though," you point out.

"What about Bond? It's longer, but it has superheroes, magic, and romance."

One of the main characters in that one fights with an axe. "Think Dave would be okay with the swords?" you ask in a lower voice.

It's an unspoken knowledge that when Vriska dragged Dave into one of her training sessions, the moment their swords had connected and released the sound of clashing metal, Dave had frozen up. He'd thrown his sword at Vriska and bolted. That time, when Karkat contacted you all in a panic about him going missing, Kanaya had been the one to find him and she had relayed his position to Karkat to retrieve.

"I don't know. Swordsnake is only really in the beginning, right? And Milo is just sort of like Terezi with his sword inside the cane, and he doesn't use it unless he really needs to. Plus, Sand is in that one, and you've given Kar a movie with him in it before, right?"

You try to think back, but you're not actually sure. Sand is an eternal flame spirit trapped inside a body that doesn't allow him to use his full power. He's also considered The Brother, because he was the eldest flame spirit. All of the others were killed. He's a reoccurring character in the movies you like the best, played by teluns with better mimicry abilities than others. All of the original books are by the same author who writes in an alternate reality. Sometimes you wonder if you exist there.

You end up not needing to answer because suddenly, the meteor is full of peculiarly familiar trees that resemble brains. You and Eridan missed out on most of the dream bubble shenanigans because of your reality jumping, learning that Jountos is dead in all of them. The others have filled you in on important things, though, like Meenah's goals and Gamzee's kin.

You don't have time to wonder whose dream this is because you're abruptly tackled to the ground by Mituna. He's laughing wildly and chanting something along the lines of "Found you, found you!" so you doubt there's a reason to be concerned, not to mention that he's almost always fun and a little bit crazy in other realities. Eridan's churr-bubbling in a mix of uncertainty and what you think might be jealousy, so you carefully sit up.

Mituna rolls off of you and immediately sits up again, yanking off his helmet and leaning toward you with a grin. "Found you!" he says again.

"You were looking for me?" you ask.

Mituna grins even more. In a crackle of blue and red, you're surrounded by psionics and lifted off the ground, which would probably be much more distressing if you hadn't had various versions of Sollux do the same thing.

"You healed me!" he says gleefully.

You look at Eridan, half hoping that he'll know what this is about, and he says, "Your arm was broken by a byorg weapon for two days and you didn't notice because you just thought it was a little numb. Nothing can surprise me anymore."

You're about to point out that the last time you broke a bone it hurt a lot more, but before you can Mituna grabs your prongs and drops the psionics, racing away on foot and dragging you along with him. Eridan laughs behind you.

"So, um, what did I heal?" you ask, and Mituna grins at you.

"My burnout! Not even being dead would fix it but you did, and that means you can heal Loz and Lin and Lat, too!"

That's a lot of L's that you don't know, so it takes you a moment to process what he said. By then, you've crossed into an area that looks like a collection of lily pads layered over each other. You take advantage of the layers to dig your heels into the ground and jerk both of you to a stop, though not without your arm and shoulder protesting vehemently.

"Look," you say quickly, tugging your arm free and stepping back. "I'd love to help, but I can't."

Mituna frowns at you. "Why not?" His psionics spark, but don't come near you.

You hesitate, searching, then go for the truth and say, "I can't heal anymore. Not even myself. It just...doesn't work. And trust me, I wish it did, but I guess this is just the game's way of screwing me over one last time. I got a power that couldn't help anyone during my game when it did work, and now that I'm here, where there are people I could do things for, it doesn't work." You look down at your prongs. "You were an accident. I'm glad I helped you, but I don't even know how. Or when, for that matter."

His fanged smile vanishes. "Oh." And that's it.

The two of you stand there, you trying to visualize the orange sparks around your claw tips and only seeing black tendrils that try to completely swallow your hands. You look up before it can turn silver. Mituna is watching your prongs too, and you look at him for a moment before you ask, "Can you see it too, or am I just crazy?" You almost say it like a joke, so you can laugh and shrug it off if he gives you an answer that you don't know what to do with.

He doesn't grin. "You're not crazy." You don't know what to do with that, but you don't laugh.

You look down again. Still black. You shake your claws, hard enough that they knock against each other and your joints kind of hurt because it's been a while since you shifted and you know it isn't healthy to stay in one form for too long, even though you were a cherub for four cycles and nothing happened. Veritan got stuck during a growth spurt, once, and when he tried to shift his bones pushed against each other so hard that a few of them snapped. One of his claws is a little crooked because of it, even though he healed well enough. You're probably just growing so you can feel it.

The blackness drips off like ink and vanishes before it hits the lilypad.

"I really am sorry," you say. "If I ever get this figured out, you'll be the first one I look for in a dream bubble."

That makes Mituna smile and he pops up to stand taller, scooping a skateboard out of the air. "You'd better! I'll see you then, shift-chick!" Then, without actually touching the ground, he hops on the skateboard and sweeps away.

You go looking for a beach, or maybe a Tavros because you'd like to try playing fiduspawn with him now that you've grabbed some of his gear from his room, but end up sitting with Kankri on a Dersite staircase while he talks about triggers and troll culture until the bubble moves through the meteor and you find yourself in a meteor hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All colors are now the colors I want them to be. I also used a troll creating thing to make another Lyllani, as close as I could get, at least, and posted it on my (rarely used, admittedly) tumblr. https://silverskyofshadow.tumblr.com/


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of https://archiveofourown.org/works/9054511 this is the last reality hop. If anyone wants to recommend one, I can always go back and add in a rearranged chapter, I think. Spoiler warning for that story if you want to read it, which I seriously recommend. Also, 90000 words! That's more than I have in any of my original/unpublished stuff.

You and Eridan land in the new reality with about a month to kill. You're not sure how it got so close, but you had resolved to do one more and the others were all doing their own versions of last-minute preparations, too. For the most part, you've got the way your hops works down.

First, you tell Eridan, "Wow, this reality is pretty much gone to shit. Zombies are everywhere."

Then Eridan says something like, "Well, that's just fucking fantastic," and pulls out his gun.

Here, it gets a little sketchy. Sometimes you have to deal with someone who wants to kill you. In this instance, it's a zombie, which were present on Alternia so at least Eridan knows how to deal with them. At the moment, there are no zombies approaching, so you focus on the reality a little more to find out if there are any trolls, or if you can expect the trolls to be in human form, or if you can expect the humans to be in troll form (that was a weird one and you couldn't stop staring at Dave's horns). In a lot of the realities, you aren't anywhere near the trolls, which is a little disappointing because you're really happy with Eridan and you think any alternate version of you would be too.

You confirm that it's humans, humans, and, hey, more humans, and give Eridan the hoodie that Kanaya made for him. It has a zip up face mask type thing and holes in the hood for his horns. More than once, you've told people he was a cosplayer. You've gotten some very odd looks, but never from the fellow players, so you don't particularly care. Eridan has no issues with zipping up the hood because it's made to look like a character in Complacency of the Learned and he thinks it's awesome. The first few sweaters had been 'stupid and annoying even if they're useful' but he hadn't fought wearing them after the byorg ship, because you can change, he can't, and he didn't like that you're put in the position of blocking any attacks on him because of that.

You close your eyes, next, and look through your eyes. She's resting her chin on someone's shoulder, you think it's Treckta but her face is scarred and it's not like she's actively looking at Treckta, instead she's looking at a paper with the words Council Square in Karkat's letters. You open your eyes, surprised. Looks like they're going to meet up. You don't know where Council Square is, though, but odds are that you're pretty close to it.

"We need to look for Council Square," you tell Eridan.

"Is that some kind of building?" he asks.

You shrug. "I don't know. Maybe?"

"Does she have a map?" He knows by now that when you spout something like that, you've seen through your alternate's eyes. Usually it's related to  _not_ going in one direction or another, but, hey, it's a lead to Karkat and if Karkat isn't with Dave he's with Nepeta and no matter what that's a few more people because Dave's with Rose or Dirk and Nepeta's with Equius or Feferi.

"Give me a second." You lean on the wall and Eridan steps in front of you, relaxed and watchful through the mesh of his hood.

Alt-Lyllani has moved away from someone who's definitely Treckta, she's missing an arm and there are claw marks scarring her face, and standing next to Ketrian and a man you don't know. Kiertal and Arcatha are standing nearby with guns. Kiertal reaches over and shifts how Arcatha is holding her gun and she looks at it, then at him with a blush. He kisses her temple and alt-you looks away.

Not for the first time, you wish that you could hear through her ears, too. Instead you can hear a low, shuffling moan, Eridan swear, and then the quick, quiet whistles of his gun. You watch alt-Veritan lean forward and point at the map Ketrian and the other man are looking at. You try to memorize the street names and wish you'd checked to see where you are before you did this. The guy you don't know must be Reeihvo, because you doubt telepathy is a possibility but his hands are definitely moving in the signs you've been trying to learn from Gamzee and Kurloz.

You've gotten reasonably decent and Kurloz signs for you slowly enough that you don't miss very much, not to mention using his mind to tell you what something you don't understand means. This guy is not the same. His hands move  _fast_ and you think there are additional signs in there that are shortened versions of words and wow the others are all signing back to him just as fast. You might need to ask yourself to teach you some signing.

You think you've got the right point on the map, so you open your eyes. There are two zombies lying dead around you, their blood black and tarry and it reminds you of the darkness on your hands. You put on a scarf. Eridan sees you do it and reaches out to brush his claw tips against your face for a moment before he smiles and flips one end of the scarf back over your shoulder.

"Nerd," you tell him, leading the way out of the alleyway and looking at the street signs. You're right across from a Sam's Club that looks like someone was trying to use it for a shelter, but you can't tell if they were successful. You look up at the Wal-Mart you're next to and hum thoughtfully when you see that there's some kind of irrigation system that looks like it's supposed to collect rainwater. Nice.

The road is charred black and there are cars that look about as good, and Eridan takes the lead with his gun when you point in the right direction. You settle into a human form, checking your shades. Artaon has a little Active light by his name so you shoot him a message to let him know that you wouldn't mind an eye on your back and he sends through just enough of a response for you to know that he has read it.

For a moment, you think you catch motion on the Sam's Club roof and you pause, staring up at it, but then Eridan chirps at you and you follow him. You realize that you're going to probably meet yourself and tie your hair up with a ribbon from Kanaya, folding it around the fabric with your fingers like Eridan has taught you for just enough of a difference that you can claim coincidence. You think he knows what you're doing because he's making a pleased trilling noise and you automatically chirp back at him with troll organs that you never quite get rid of at this point.

You're moving fast, so it's no surprise that the alert from Artaon comes up with just enough time for you to grab Eridan and turn and remove the arms of the undead that had been, probably behind that dumpster over there, with a lightweight, bluish axe. Eridan slides back a step and fires twice and the zombie drops.

The alert is still there, though, and you look around uncertainly, trying to place it.

"Holy shit, you're just a couple of kids," says a voice that makes you almost drop your axe.

You hadn't really realized it until now, but you haven't seen your brother anywhere. Sure, once or twice through an alternate's eyes, but not in the flesh, and not as a ghost. Eridan raises his gun as you both whirl around, but he drops it slightly when he sees them, probably because he knows Pelleon's byorg form and your moiral is good with faces. Pelleon looks surprisingly healthy. He's painfully thin, but so is your brother. Fearran isn't, but you're convinced that he's partially made of stone or something.

"Veritan," you breathe like an idiot.

He blinks fast, neon blue eyes wide, and you imagine he must see the resemblance to yourself. He's older, but he's still your brother and it has been so long since you actually spoke to him. How have you not seen him?

 _Avoidance,_ whispers a voice suspiciously like horrorterrors.  _You're a coward. You see an opportunity and run the other way._

You reach blindly for Eridan and he moves closer to you, still holding the gun, so that your hand is clutching his shoulder. You haven't heard them in so long. Why now? You don't want this. You turned them away.

"You, you look really familiar," Veritan says. "Have we met somewhere?"

You stare at him more.

"She knew your name," Pelleon points out. Fearran is frowning at you. He probably knows who you are.

You lie anyway. "I think I saw you at school. Maybe picking up your sister."

He nods slowly. "Guess we had the same idea," he says. "You look like you've done pretty well, um..."

"Lily," you reply. Fearran's eyebrows raise. You can hear Eridan's uncertain churr and know that the humans can't even as he moves closer to you, pressing his cold form to your side. It's grounding. You appreciate him.

"I'm Erikan," he says. You have to search for a moment to figure out where he got that, then you remember meeting Pelleon again. He'd apologized. It had been...nice. Strange. He'd gotten Eridan's name wrong and apologized for that, too.

"Veritan, but you probably knew that. How old are you two?" He glances questioningly at Eridan, but focuses on you, crouching slowly to your height and skies you're not _that_ short. He's probably trying to make you feel safe because you know you feel distressed and you probably look it, too.

You think for a moment. Probably 7 troll sweeps by now, which is "About 15. He might be 16."

Fearran is staring at Eridan and it's clearly unnerving him, which makes sense. Fearran is really intimidating when he wants to be. He knows you're lying, at least, but he doesn't know where Eridan fits in.

"Are you alone?"

That's a hard question. Technically, no. You have a meteor of friends waiting for you, and whatever Vriska and Terezi are. You think you might be close to being friends with Terezi but Vriska is harder. You think Eridan feels the same way about Dave and Rose, though he and Rose have bonded some over wizards.

Veritan seems to take your silence as an answer and looks at Pelleon and Fearran. "We should take them with us."

"It could be a trap," Pelleon says reasonably.

"We don't have food for them," Fearran rumbles and Eridan jumps.

"I don't think it's a trap. Look at them." Veritan motions at the two of you. Eridan's gun twitches uncertainly and you drop the hand on his shoulder to rest on his hand.

"Are you infected?" Fearran asks Eridan, eyes lethal pinpricks of gold.

Eridan jolts slightly. "No, sir."

"Why are you hiding, then?" Fearran steps toward him and you move between them, pulling back your shoulders and setting your jaw even though he's bigger than you. Everyone is. You're starting to get used to it.

"His skin is sensitive to the light." It's true. "And in case you haven't noticed, sunscreen isn't the easiest to come by and it's certainly not our focus."

For a long moment, Fearran doesn't move. The time lets you see how his clothes are tired, frayed and stitched in spots. You saw Treckta's scars and wonder if Jountos gave them to her. Maybe he died and turned. What wounds do the others have? Then, he huffs and turns away, heading down the street. "The message on the windup said we'd meet at the square, right?" he calls back.

Pelleon chases after him and Veritan smiles at you, motioning you forward. Eridan, to your surprise, stays on the side farther away from him as you move forward. Veritan walks behind you and you wonder if this version of him is packed with knives like yours.

Eridan's watching the rooftops as you go, and when he wordlessly nudges you toward the shadows of a building you don't argue, tipping your chin up slightly to try to see whatever he did. Veritan begins to make a questioning noise, then hums wordlessly and the other two look back. They join you walking in the shadows.

It's not until you're almost at the meeting place that you see the people. Kiertal and Arcatha aren't there, and neither is the one you think is Reeihvo. You're betting they're up high. You are, though, standing by Ketrian with Treckta. They turn when they see your small group and you have a disconcerting moment where space feels like it's snapping as you meet your own eyes, seeing both versions of yourself from dozens of angles, but then it's gone and the two of you are only staring at each other in shared shock.

She's taller. Of course.

Reeihvo's eyes light up at your approach and instantly races over, flitting between the members of their party with quick hand signals that are returned. He comes to a stop in front of you and Eridan and Eridan's hands tense under yours, but Reeihvo just claps both hands to his face and his whole body wiggles as he dances from foot to foot before he grabs Veritan and starts signing.

"No," Veritan answers. "They said they're alone."

"He's so fast," Eridan whispers to you.

"I can barely understand anything," you whisper back.

"I think that meant tiny?"

The two of you watch Reeihvo's hands, but neither one of you are really ready for that speed yet. He stops once you reach Ketrian, who stares at you.

"She went to the same school as Lyllani," Veritan says helpfully.

"Oh, really, you went to Jeroh?" Ketrian asks brightly, smiling warmly.

You start to answer and pause as Artaon tells you,  RT: It's a trap. I'm scanning past yearbooks of schools.

You look at Ketrian uncertainly as you answer, "No, maybe she went to that one before," Artaon sends you a name, "Faeral High School." You hold out a closed fist toward Lyllani. "Nice to see a fellow wildcat again."

She smiles and bumps your fist. "Who's your friend? He go there, too?"

Eridan doesn't even notice, looking around slowly, and you say, "No, he went to Skaia. We ran into each other and have stuck together since then."

"Just the two of you all this time?" Treckta asks sympathetically.

You pause. You've already lied to them and you'd rather not do it again.

Reeihvo ruffles your hair and then signs something to Treckta while you blink at him, automatically trying to fix your ribbon. Eridan reached over to braid to back into place for you.

"There are people on the roofs," he says quietly.

"They're probably ours." You keep your voice low.

"You must have been through so much," Treckta says sadly. "We can't promise you anything, but we're hoping to meet some allies here so if that goes well, maybe you'll be alright." She smiles at you and you smile back.

An alert pings in your shades and you turn, shifting your grip on your axe.

It's Karkat. There's a brief pause as he studies you, eyes flicking upward, then back to you again.

"I assume you put up the signs?" Lyllani asks.

Karkat nods once. "I did. Are we going to threaten each other and then try to talk, or can we just skip the bullshit attempts to look badass?"

Eridan chuckles softly and you smile. Ketrian considers Karkat for a moment, then sighs.

"Frankly, unnecessary drama just sounds ridiculous," he says. "I'll call of mine if you call off yours."

Karkat smirks and raises a hand into the air and after a moment, Ketrian does the same. There's a moment of quiet, then footsteps.

Eridan stiffens suddenly, standing straighter and looking around Karkat. You follow his gaze and have to struggle not to laugh or something because it's a human Eridan and his hair is entirely purple.

"Almost made it," Eridan moans. "Almost got through without anything worse than the Erifish."

That makes you laugh and you press your hand to your mouth to try to stifle it. Eridan chitters indignantly and you end up laughing even harder.

"Is she always like that?" Karkat asks.

"Only when it's at my expense," Eridan says with a clear pout in his voice.

"Aw, don't be mad," you say, reaching up to pap his face through the hood. To alt-Eridan you say, "Very awesome hair. 10 out of 10."

Alt-Eridan lights up with a grin and gives a pointed look at Roxy Lalonde. She laughs.

Jade Harley suddenly gasps. "I love your sweater! Roxy, look what it is!" She grabs Roxy's arm and points at Eridan.

Roxy gasps too. "That's awesome! How did you get it?"

Eridan straightens up proudly. "Lyll made it for me." He points at you.

"Nice," Roxy tells you, hissing the word appreciatively through her teeth.

You smile at her, glancing at Karkat, who has his face in his hands. 

"Are you done fangirling?" he asked with a long, suffering sigh that managed to not seem too serious.

"For now," Roxy said cheekily. Alt-Eridan grins and Jade laughs.

Karkat sighs again, facing the group. "Look. We have room. We're willing to offer it. If you're going to Atlanta, don't. It's fucked. We'd expect you to work, do your share, not attack the others, but we want to help you."

He looks steadily at the group, but he also looks ready to grab his sickles.

"I'm in," you say.

"Me too." Eridan nods.

Karkat looks at you, then at Ketrian with clear confusion.

"We just met," Ketrian says, his voice tired. "They're not with us."

"Are you sure you're willing to agree just like that?" Veritan asked, bending down to speak more quietly to you.

"I'm sure," you reply brightly.

"Lyll's a good judge of character. Don't know why she still hangs around me," Eridan adds and you hit one of his horns with your knuckle. "What? It's true. I was pretty awful."

"If I'm not allowed to insult yourself, neither are you," you tell him sternly.

He looks toward Karkat for help, but the red eyed human just looks lost.

You look back to see Veritan is having some kind of silent conversation with Ketrian. Ketrian finishes it by sighing, glancing at the others.

"We aren't going to be slaves," Fearran says. "You make it like you'd treat us that way..." He trails off, a warning rumble deep in his chest. 

Karkat nods once, face serious. "Is this all of you?" he asks.

Ketrian glances over his shoulder. "Yes."

"And you're the leader?"

At that, he makes an "eh" sound and wiggles a hand uncertainly. "It's pretty mutual."

"Except for me," Kiertal says. "Because I'm his baby brother so I need to follow orders."

"It's okay, sweet, you're great at everything so you can do anything any way!" Arcatha says.

Reeihvo catches your eye and swirls a finger by his temple, points at them, and then winks. You grin and his eyes light up and even though his lips don't even twitch you have the strangest feeling that he's grinning back.

"I'm Ketrian," Ketrian is saying to Karkat, who must have introduced himself while you were distracted by the others. "That's my brother, Kiertal, Arcatha, Veritan, Fearran, Pelleon, Treckta, Lyllani, and Reeihvo. He's mute but he can hear and knows signing and if all else fails he can throw something your way to get your attention." Here, Ketrian's shoulders have rounded out in the way that you know means he's not taking no for an answer.

Karkat nods to each name and his eyes linger on Reeihvo for a moment before he looks at you and Eridan.

"I'm Erikan and this is Lyll," Eridan says. 

Reeihvo waves a hand at you, sidling back and away from everyone, and when you're looking he signs something, but you only get, "Not quiet you." Or maybe Peace, not quiet, but you like that less because it's suggesting that he maybe thinks you aren't peaceful. Ketrian and Karkat are talking again but now Eridan's watching Reeihvo with you. Comprehension dawns on Reeihvo's face and he waves a hand again even though you're both looking so maybe that means something, too. He points at himself, then taps his ear, and points at you. "I hear you."

"He hears us?" Eridan asks you, puzzled. You nod slowly until Eridan hisses. "He _heard_ us."

"Good," Reeihvo signs, eyes sparkling again. He taps his ear twice and then spells out "H-E-A-R."

"Oh, so that literally means  _hear_?"

"Makes way too much sense," Eridan mutters. "We were being really quiet, though."

Reeihvo actually does smile, the corners of his lips twitching upward, but there's stiffness to the motion that makes you think it hurts. He glances at Ketrian and then signs, "O-K. No-" He touches his chin with one finger and brings his finger outward. You repeat the motion questioningly and he obligingly signs, "T-E-L-L." No tell. That's a surprise. Eridan is slowly repeating the way Reeihvo signs, distinctly smoother than Kurloz's motions.

"Why not?" Eridan asks.

Reeihvo tips his head to the side for a moment, glancing over when Ketrian starts moving. He waits for everyone else to be in motion, too, and then follows. One of his hands drops down to rest on a gun you hadn't noticed and you wonder if Reeihvo used gunkind or he's just forced to in this reality, since your alternate is carrying a gun, too. Reeihvo finally points at himself and swirls a finger by his temple again, then shrugs.

"You're crazy, too," you repeat with a laugh. "I guess we're all different kinds of crazy by now."

Eridan's elbow bumps against yous and you relax that arm so you can link arms. He chirps softly and you return it. Reeihvo makes a sign that you've seen Kurloz make before when the dream bubble is fading that you assume means "See you later." You nod and he moves ahead in the group.

* * *

It's the Sam's Club, of course. Karkat escorts you all through what he calls the Kill Lot and into the building.

Dave is dating Karkat. You already knew that it would probably be that way, but it still makes you grin when you see them greet each other. Then Feferi hands you a chicken in what is almost definitely supposed to be a distraction and you are sufficiently distracted. Eridan slides his gun into the holster he equipped while you were walking and carefully pets the chicken, cooing happily when it nibbles his fingers. It chirps back at him and he gasps delightedly.

"This cluckbeast is amazing," he declared to everyone.

"Chicken," you tell him once you're done laughing at the weird looks that got.

"Cluckbeast." Eridan reaches for it and you set it in his arms. "Fef, look!"

Feferi jumps at the name, but she smiles when she sees how he's holding the chicken. Alt-Eridan watches jealously and you slide away from your Eridan to stand by that one.

"How did you dye your hair?" you ask.

He doesn't answer right away, but then he looks at you with a startled expression. "Me?"

You laugh. "Yeah, you. I like your hair. How'd you do it?"

"Oh, well, there was some dye," he says, turning to point off somewhere in the building. "Fef helped me out and I wait awhile before I fix my roots so we have enough. We've found more in other colors but I like purple the best. Dia does hers sometimes too, or I do it for her, or Fef."

"Dia?" you repeat curiously.

"Aradia. She's..." He turns and looks around, then points out a grinning young woman sitting with Sollux. It surprises you a little to see a living Aradia just because of how many realities don't have her, just like Jountos.

"You must be pretty good at it."

Alt-Eridan's chest puffs out and you glance over at a low churr from your Eridan. You look flatly at him, trying to say,  _"Really? You're jealous of yourself?"_ with your eyes, and he makes a whiny chirp that you know means he's pouting.

* * *

That evening, you're sitting on the roof with Reeihvo and Dave. You were going to talk to Reeihvo and then Dave also showed up and said something along the lines of, "So, what's the deal with you being the shorty clone of Lyllani?" so he's also being included.

Eridan, Alt-Eridan, Feferi, and Jake went outside for something, so you're sitting on the roof to watch for their return. It's looking like it'll be a nice night, but there are clouds in the distance that Dave comments could be useful because he's been meaning to cut down the Sam's Club sign.

"I'm an alien," you begin and Dave, who has been taking a sip of water, snorts and chokes. Reeihvo thumps his back. "Space cop," you add and Dave goes right back to choking. "You're the one who suggested that."

"You've gotta stop dropping these on me mid-drink," Dave wheezes, getting you a strange look from Jade and Calliope, who are on the other side of the roof.

You're not sure where Calliope fits in, and since everyone else in the Club is a player she must belong somehow. You've never met her before, though, and it's not like you can ask about her history to try to figure out- oh. The scar on her face suddenly makes more sense. She's the cherub player. Well, that's that solved.

"We've met?" Dave asks when he has recovered.

"In other realities," you explain.

"You are L-Y-L-L-A-N-I," Reeihvo signs, smacking his hands together proudly at the end.

"You've got me," you say, a bit half-heartedly. You push your shades up so that they can see your eyes. Dave whistles softly. "But wait," you pause dramatically, "there's more." You glance over at Jade and Calliope, the cherub player's name is Calliope, then shift into your troll form. Reeihvo jerks back and runs into Dave. You turn back quickly and smile reassuringly.

"I'm a shifter," you explain. "You are, too, in my reality," you tell Reeihvo. "We never met though, and we barely talked."

Reeihvo's brow furrows at that and he signs something you don't know, then, "Why?"

You shrug. "You were one of the furthest away from me and I only really met you after Ketrian asked me to get you to calm down once, but I don't really remember it. I was, like, two." You laugh, but your smile dies quickly. "And then, once we got into the situation where we all would meet for real, you didn't survive."

"I am dead?" Reeihvo's eyes were wide.

You wonder if it's odd that Kurloz taught you signs like 'dead' and 'kill' first as you nod. "So is Kiertal. And Treckta, and Ketrian, and Pelleon, and Jountos."

Reeihvo winces at the last name and nodded.

"Was that someone with you?" Dave asks him. Reeihvo nods again. Dave is quiet for a moment, then he looks at you and asks, "So, officer, what can we help you with?" Reeihvo shifts around to face you, too, eyes bright and attentive.

You suddenly don't want to do this part. With the humans or the trolls, it was different. And, okay, maybe you were avoiding yourself and the other alternates of your session a little bit. But they don't need to know. Jountos was a hero to them. That's what you've learned. He was a hero and a friend and someone who died too soon and stayed dead when he did. In this reality, you're wondering if he didn't stay dead.

In your silence, Reeihvo has reached out, nudging your shoulder in a quick motion and retracting his hand just as fast.

You take a deep breath, looking at your hands. "What happened to Jountos in this reality?"

"He died." Your own voice makes you jump and you tense as Lyllani sits next to you. "Got bit and died. Then he came back, bit Treckta's arm, attacked us. So I did what had to be done, just like you."

You recoil, but she doesn't look at you. "How do you-"

Lyllani rolls her eyes. "I'm not dumb, and I hope you aren't either. I know my own voice, thank you very much, and...when I saw you, I saw some of that, too. Good job, Ree, getting right to it." She laughs and holds out a fist and Reeihvo bumps his fist to hers.

"You saw it?" you ask, surprised. "I didn't see anything."

She shrugs. "Veri says I'm weird. Could be that. Different levels of weirdness." She laughs, but it's hollow. "Go for us being the ones who step up to the plate, though."

"Oh, yeah," you snort. "Got a head that needs to roll and I got that down, need me to heal someone and do, you know, my  _job_ , and I'm a total failure."

"Whoa, what? You can heal people?" Dave asks, sitting forward.

You huff softly. "That's the problem. I can't. I healed a dead version of Mituna without even meaning to, but aside from that..." You snap your fingers irritably.

"That still sounds pretty awesome," he says and Reeihvo nods.

"You don't seem too happy about it," Lyllani notes.

You shrug. "I liked it when it worked, and then it got me killed." There's an alarmed silence and you quickly add, "I came back just fine, don't worry!"

"Your reality sounds even more fucked than ours," Dave mutters. He sits back slightly. "I can't believe I believe you."

Reeihvo signs something and Lyllani translates, "It's not everyday you see someone change forms. Makes it pretty believable. Wait, you can do that?"

You shift troll again and she laughs as you turn back. "I think that it's something about the race I use to travel through realities, too," you say. "We sway minds toward us."

"That sounds really messed up," Dave says slowly.

"Hey, at least I'm not doing it on purpose like Vriska," you mutter.

"Your Vriska can do that?" Lyllani asks.

"Oh, yeah, and she just does a  _fine_ job at it! Makes us a godly villain to fight, kills Tavros, and also maybe Aradia but I'm actually a little unclear there? And also maybe the whole blinding Terezi thing. And paralyzing Tavros before she killed him. Wow, saying it out loud is really messed up." You shut your mouth. You had a point. What was your point?

You back up mentally and come out at the Jountos thing. "So, I was originally looking for Jountos because I thought his ghost was basically doing the same thing I am, only he was also kind of killing more people-"

"What," Lyllani asks and Reeihvo signs.

"Yeah. Um. My theory is that he was supposed to die. Everywhere. And I don't know, why, exactly, but he's definitely dead everywhere. When he died in my reality, we brought him back," you pause, you and Eridan have discussed this but it's different with your own eyes on you, "and I think he came back wrong. He killed his one Truth. And most of us."

Silence presses down on you.

"Well, that sucks," Dave says.

A startled laugh bursts out of you and you sit forward, shaking your head. "Dave, never change."

"Good to know I haven't," he replies brightly. "What else do I say?"

You think for a moment, then say, "You call me over powered."

Dave huffs out a laugh. "For what, shifting and a power you seem to hate?"

You grin and hold out a hand. "I mean, there's also this thing we have called a sylladex." You let a rock land in your hand and Dave blinks behind the shades. "But you have that, too, and we both have a strife specibus, but you always say my jokerkind specibus is overpowered." You pull your axe out of the loop you'd equipped for it and toss it into your specibus, then pull out another one. You see that it's Bane and jerk, dropping it quickly back into the specibus.

"You know," Lyllani says while Dave waves a hand in the air like he's checking for a string, "I'd bet that your power is just hiding until you really need it."

"I don't know when that will be," you say dryly. "So far, I'm pretty sure it's just another way the universe hates me."

"No, but think of it like it's dormant! And when it comes out, it'll be even more powerful!" Lyllani's eyes flick to Reeihvo and you turn to see his hands are moving as she says, "And maybe there's more that you don't understand yet. Reeihvo's a big believer in fate."

"So everyone was fated to die?" you ask her dryly. "That seems a litt-"

"Lyllani!"

Eridan's voice echoes off of the street, filled with a frantic chitter that tells you it's your version, and you bolt to your feet.

"Whoa, wait," Dave says but you're already jumping off the roof, not bothering to hide your flight as you shoot in the direction of your moiral's voice.

You see them around the back of the Wal-Mart; Jake is holding back Feferi and Eridan's hood is down. There are two or three zombies but you don't see the problem until you realize that alt-Eridan is on the ground, deathly pale and unmoving, maybe unconscious, hopefully not dead, while Eridan presses his clawed prongs against a wound on his side. You stumble slightly as you land but it barely stops you as you run to them.

"It's my fault," Eridan babbles as soon as he sees you. "I didn't notice them and I didn't reach Fef in time and he did and Lyll you've got to heal him he can't turn because of me." You drop to your knees next to Eridan but you don't know what to do next. "Lyll, you have to heal him," Eridan says again, bubbles that you think even the humans can pick up on lacing his tone.

"But it never works," you say, his panic wrapping around you like it's tangible. The scarf he gave you is spilling down over your legs and onto both Eridan's, almost falling off. "This stupid p-"

"Lyll!" Eridan looks firmly at you. "Not allowed."

You look blankly at him for a moment, then remember the rule you'd made and open your mouth incredulously. "Are you kidding me? Now?"

"Not allowed," he repeats, looking back down at alt-Eridan.

"Fine, yeah, sure, this is totally the time. Not like Sylph of Life is a completely useless cl-"

"Lyll!"

You shut your mouth tightly. "Move."

He does, pulling your scarf up so that it's back over your throat, and you press your hands over the bite mark. You can feel the damage, like you can around Terezi. There are running footsteps approaching you and you guess by the stomps that it's Karkat. Next he's shouting. Yay. Your hands are silver even though alt-Eridan's blood is red. You can feel the cold of Eridan's prongs on your arm; he's trilling softly, apologetic and encouraging and you can hear Pelleon's voice but you're not sure if it's the one from this reality or yours.

This is Eridan. Whatever reality it is, this is Eridan. And you're failing him. You have this power and you need to be able to use it because it's  _your_ power and you have to be the one in control because you can't keep being useless. You're a player, like all of the others. You need to be there for the others or there's  _no reason for you to be here_.

"Lyll," Eridan says and the panic in his voice is different this time so you open your eyes. You don't know when you closed them.

Your hands are black. The others are roaring words that link together so much you can't hear them. The shadows are so big.

"Don't listen to them," Eridan says softly, a pale chirp in his voice. "They're wrong about everything. You're not useless." How much were you saying out loud? "You're strong, even without that. You could have not god tiered at all and nothing would have changed. You'd still be my moiral and we'd still have this and they would still be wrong."

"But-"

"No matter what," he says and holds up two claws like a half diamond.

You slowly raise your hand- it's silver and red and green and violet and black all at once -and let your fingers meet his to complete the diamond. He smiles and you're oddly reminded of the human you know now was John telling you to smile as you smile back.

Orange flares from both of your hands and alt-Eridan screams.

When your vision fades back into focus, you're lying on a cot with your Eridan sitting next to you, head on the cot as he softly breathes, eyes closed. You blink at the wide ceiling of the Sam's Club, then slowly sit up. You're in your troll form. You try to shift back into a human and your whole body protests. Your right prong feels like you've been shot with a byorg gun, but when you slowly curl your fingers they tingle back into feeling again. It's stiff and kind of uncomfortable, but you think you're okay.

Alt-Eridan walks into view, very much alive and not at all undead. He stops when he sees you, then his eyes light up and he rushes away. You blink uncertainly after him. A moment later, Veritan trips over a box of potato chips, plows into a metal bar, and promptly tackles you in a hug and knocks the cot over. You chitter/yelp in surprise and shock and Eridan falls off of the cot with a loud rattle and immediately sits up, eyes tinged red and ear fins spread aggressively.

"I don't care  _which_ version you are, don't  _ever_ do that again or so help me I will find my own way to jump through realities and gather a whole army of myself that will exist solely to stop versions of you from doing stupid things like that!" Veritan says, hugging you tightly.

"What'd I do?" you ask uncertainly.

"You died," Eridan says hoarsely. "I don't know how it wasn't heroic."

You stare at him. "I, what?"

"Died. And then you slept for..."

"Six days," Veritan says, not releasing you.

"We've been here for a week?" you ask, stunned. Eridan nods. "We need to go back!"

"Can you do that?" Eridan asks.

"Yes," you say even though you're not sure.

Veritan steps back, staring hard at you. He points at you for a moment, then takes a deep breath, nods once, and marches away.

"I figured it out," Eridan says once he's gone and you look back at him. "The other version of you said it. You hate your power. It's no wonder it doesn't work if you hate it."

You blink twice at that. "Hey, Eridan." You hold out your arms and he swiftly pulls you into a hug. "Pale for you."

"Pale for you," he mumbles back. "No dying."

You smile into his shoulder and clench your jaw as you draw on your mutation to make you just enough clerat to return to the steady anchor that is Gamzee.

He honks when you arrive and you vaguely see that there are glittering silver stars in the mural he's painted, then your body scolds you for what you just did and you relax into Eridan's cold arms as the world fades away again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I never expected this story to go this long. Hopefully I can get the big final chapter up on 4/13 because that'd be pretty cool. It's going to be long, though, so who knows. (Who needs sleep anyway+I can always use my phone during school! Hello senioritis!)


	60. Chapter 60

turntechGodhead [TG] is pestering burningLife [BL]

TG: aight so im figuring youre off doing one of the things you do since i havent seen you in like a week  
TG: but youre online so hey cant hurt to shoot you an update  
TG: first off jade is crazy  
TG: she came to abduct us straight off the meteor and spider8itch knocked her out  
TG: it was pretty wild  
TG: we were hanging out up top and then karkles is like who the fuck is barking  
TG: and it was jade because she's a dog now  
TG: coming in here like bark  
TG: fucking hilarious  
TG: reminds me of when rose went all grimdark  
TG: we ever tell you about that  
TG: she was going around speaking all eldritch horrorterror ,mkagkafhjkdfsa  
TG: that was key mashing but i bet it means something  
TG: anyway we headed out to get back my hot mom and jades gramps  
TG: wait no  
TG: not hot mom just mom  
TG: who said hot mom not me  
TG: no hot moms around  
TG: uh anyway  
TG: we had to fight johns hot mom too  
TG: well hot grandma but  
TG: shit no  
TG: you know what just for the sake of our mutual coolness how about we just pretend to ignore that  
TG: anyway  
TG: we also picked up feferi and hot damn if she isnt bubbles and sunshine  
TG: she says hi by the way  
TG: also john is dead  
TG: which she told us in a very bubbles and sunshine way  
TG: my hot mom is dead too  
TG: fuck  
TG: you know what i give up  
TG: everyones hot like a griddle  
TG: watch me fry some eggs up on these bods  
TG: hot moms and hot grandmas and hot sisters and fuck if that one isnt the worst  
TG: youre hot hes hot karkles is sure as fuck hot and thats a thing im dealing with  
TG: fuck i bet even your brother is hot  
TG: fucking everybody is fucking hot  
TG: except vriska  
TG: you know its rambles like these that make me hate words  
TG: i forgot what i was saying anyway  
TG: theres a sprite here of a sweaty troll and some sick shades who says to tell you hi  
TG: hes trying to get a crown thing off of johns young nanna  
TG: looks like weve still got one empty sprite too  
TG: also if chucklemurderclown isnt with you im not sure where he is  
TG: im gonna go check out a fridge that vriska has  
TG: what just an innocent request for aj  
TG: no way am i scoping it out to see if shes got the friendly neighborhood murderclown in there  
TG: welp i cant confirm but i think the fridge honked  
TG: were all just waiting around so no rush to show up anyway  
TG: vriska wants to know what happened to your frog  
TG: oh wait nevermind shes just going to message your bro  
TG: how the fuck did she get his handle you ask  
TG: pried it from karkats rants  
TG: cold dead rants  
TG: no maybe thats too much

arachnidsGrip [AG] is trolling blackTuron [BT]

AG: Chop chop, pal, we have work to do.  
BT: who Are you?  
AG: You can call me Marquise Spinneret Mindfang.  
BT: sounds mAde up.  
AG: While normally I'd just loooooooove to have a titill8ing argument with another Arttana, we don't have time for that.  
AG: What happened to your universe frog?  
BT: we hAd none.  
BT: our frog land never formed.  
AG: That's impossi8le. You had a Sp8e player. His world should have 8een full of frogs.  
BT: nope. just Angels.  
BT: lyllAni sAid thAt she thought keirtAls world should hAve hAd them.  
BT: there were some prophecies About frogs being spAwned from the metAl grip of the void And thAt only fit him.  
AG: No way!!!!!!!! Only Sp8e players have the frogs!  
BT: i do not know whAt you expect me to sAy.  
AG: W8! W8, w8, w8, w8. She mentioned your quests were colla8orative????????  
BT: thAt is correct. it wAs A theory of hers.  
AG: Ha! That's it!  
AG: You're fucking sh8peshifters!!!!!!!!  
BT: whAt?

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling blackTuron [BT]

TG: shes cackling now and suddenly i see how she and tz work out  
TG: whoa you can take different aspects  
TG: so op damn  
TG: makes sense though  
TG: leave it to the shifters to shift around  
TG: this means youre the sylph of every damn thing  
TG: been saying it sense the beginning and ill say it again  
TG: so fucking op  
TG: vriska says that since none of you actually made a frog it doesnt matter  
TG: still fucking awesome  
TG: aight since im now the message delivery boy vriska says you just go find jape when you get here  
TG: or maybe his name is joke but whatever  
TG: and eridan gets to head up to meet me and my bro and face off a noir who is apparently also lord english and theres also a robot and another one is there too so yay for that  
TG: thats a thing by the way  
TG: my bro  
TG: whoa hold on john and my hot mom just showed up  
TG: that probably means shits about to go down so see you later lyllani

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering burningLife [BL]

===> Be...oh no, really?

========> Really.

===> Be Jountos

You are now Jountos.

You're a littla amazed at how stubbornly Lyllani searched for you, especially when you never left.

===> Wait, so he doesn't know-

========> Shh!!

You have Seen this future and it's pleasing, so you have waited. You Saw Lyllani come back from the reality where her power is restored. You Saw the clown leave and nudged Vriska in his direction. You Saw Lyllani wake, her 'moiral' who has not left her side quickly lecturing her on the dangers of what she has done.

It is not until she sees the meesages from your fellow Time player that you step into reality and follow her. Her moiral departs, as was necessary for your plan, and you follow her to the planet of the coward.

She is weary, but happy. It irks you but is irrelevant. She and the human speak.

It is a relief when the robotic Noir arrives. He deploys the baking machine and departs again. The leprechauns begin to fight. Lyllani laughs.

And then she is gone. You hear the human shout in alarm but he is distracted by the other enemies.

You watch the sky, now, and smile. Her brother approaches, as you Saw. Lyllani returns. You let yourself solidify, steadying yourself on the ground and bracing a foot back, the heavy sword you have chosen for this task humming in your claws.

You watch. Wait.

===>Jountos: Throw the sword

===> Veritan: Block the sword

===> Be Lyllani

You are Lyllani.

You sit back, stunned, as your brother hits the ground in front of you. You look up.

Jountos is standing on the hilltop, grinning.

When you look down again, orange sparking on your hands because you can do this, like you did for Gamzee (time travel is less exciting than you thought) because even if it isn't perfect, you understand why it didn't work and you can heal, so you can fix your brother.

But the body isn't there. There's blood, a lot of it, and delicate silver flowers with a sword in the middle of them.

"Ferid, the Blads of Life!" Jountos calls. "It takes death and makes new life! There's nothing left for you to heal, Lyllani!"

You feel Bane land in your hand as you pull the sword, Ferid, another legendary weapon and you wonder whose planet it was from, out of the ground ground. It burns with Life in the same way Bane seems to thrum with Rage.

Something coils around your foot and you jerk, the two weapons heavy in your prongs and your ears roaring. A horrorterror with Arcatha's eyes blinks at you.

"Arcatha?" you mumble. "He found you?"

She blinks. You feel the thought more than you hear it, even as a voice in your head. Bring him back. We can bring him back.

You let the weapons fall. Dimly, you think Eridan wouldn't like this as you pick up Arcatha. Darkness spreads up your arms, around your skin and the space seems to howl _YES_ while Arcatha hisses out a _NO_ back at it.

You can feel all of them. Fighting. Hurt. Orange and black reach out.

===> Lyllani: Scream


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought the previous chapter was going to be the last chapter and then I got to that point and was like, well, nope. On to the next one. It's going to be ending soon, though.

===> Be Roxy Lalonde

You are now Roxy Lalonde.

You're fighting the fishbitch, though fighting is a liberal term. The batterwitch isn't taking it well, but you're getting worse. Jane has come by a few times, popping in, healing you, and then bolting again, but otherwise you think you're losing. It kind of sucks. Even John has stopped grinning goofily at you.

The witch is stepping on your teen mom, which is severely uncool, and when you lunge at her to get her fishy foot off of her she promptly backhands you into a tower. Also uncool. You don't expect the tower to move when you hit it, though, and you jerk up to see that there are massive indigo wings wrapped around you, feathered and solid and shockingly warm. You do the logical thing and kick the wings away from you. The wings yelp and suddenly you're falling.

You catch yourself in the air and whirl back around to look up. Okay, maybe you hit your head, because you're pretty sure that's an angel. It's not one of the fancy, pretty angels, though, it's the one that looks almost humanoid but not quiet and it's covered in wings that just scream  _alien_ and you're half expecting it to lead with the whole 'Do not be afraid' thing that is some kind of joke on old message boards you saw once. Instead, the angel just stares at you, slate gray with glints of metallic silver eyes wide.

It looks down and you follow it's gaze.

There's another alien creature on the ground, far away from but still with your friends, not winged but lots of sharp, sleek lines that still somehow manage to look soft. It hurts your head to look at and for a moment you think you hear a high sound that makes something in you whisper, "No, not again."

You're about to look up, search the planets around you for the telltale signs of grim darkness, but then the streamlined alien drops to one knee and a massive gun appears. It braces the gun on its shoulder and fires four shots, one after the other and each with a sound that is almost musical. The first two hit the witch and knock her off your mom, but she recovers fast enough that she dodges the other two.

"Yes, hello!" The voice that's almost definitely in your head makes you drop a few inches and the angel thing starts to reach out toward you. "I am Reeihvo! Please tell me I just shot the right person!"

The fishbitch seems to hear his voice too and she turns with a hiss. You can't see his face but you feel his alarm like pepper and an electric shock. He bolts.

She follows, screaming furiously.  There's blood on the ground where she steps.

"Skies above, Ree," the angel suddenly groans. He shouts suddenly, voice ringing like metal striking metal, "Hey, majesty! At least pick on a guy who can pretend to be as tall as you!"

His wings fold and he shoots forward, plowing into the batterwitch and slamming long, talons feet into her head. It jerks her to the side like she's a bull and she reaches up, grabbing onto feathers and flinging him off.

Reeihvo lets out a mental shout and changes direction, weaving around the fish and leaping over the railing to catch the angel.

You see Kanaya and Feferi lunge at the older troll in the distraction,  but you're distracted when Reeihvo changes, body morphing into a golden yellow and red form of the angel.

It clicks.

They're shifters. They played Lyllani's game. They're with Lyllani, who emotionlessly told you that everyone she cared about ended up dead after you told her that grimbark Jade had killed the troll that was her diamond.

Lyllani, who went grimdark and tore the Condesce apart as though pixels were not devouring them both.

You grin.

This is different. There were no resurrections and she told you that she thought everyone was dead.

Reeihvo and the angel, who's a human now with the same bright sliver eyes and dark hair that sweeps around his face like feathers, land back on the platform. The human shifter looks like he wants to yell at Reeihvo, but Reeihvo is running toward Her Imperial Annoyance before he can.

He looks at you with an 'Eh. What can you do?' expression and then runs after him.

You laugh giddily and join them.

===> Be Jountos again

You are Jountos again and something is wrong. Yes, the human's retcon forced your plans to change, but not significantly.

As you Saw it, you should have been quickly and effectively brought back to life by the flowing black tentacles of the horrorterror with life power. Instead, you are still dead and Lyllani is still a troll, albeit with a horrorterror that may be Arcatha wrapped around her arm.

She had screamed, at first, Foreseen as pain from the transformation, but it had stopped after a moment and her blackened skin became light again, the grimdark blackness that you had been so careful to grow even before she understood what the horrorterrors were doing fading to just an orb of Arcatha's presence.

Instead, orange akin to the light of a cool sun wraps around the sky, pouring off of her as a Light and a Life symbol glow above her. It takes you a moment to understand and your jaw drops when you do.

A fraymotif. They're preforming a relking fraymotif. You don't know who they're bringing back and curse that your Sight became flawed by the horrorterror, but it turns out that you don't need to worry about it because a lot of orange suddenly strikes your chest.

It wraps around you completely, grabbing onto your spirit, and with a sudden jolt you are alive again.

You have a brief moment of victorious triumph, then you're jolted again and you freeze, gasping in a breath.

The light recedes again but you're left choking as you collapse to the ground, claws coming up to press against your luxtru. You know that it isn't damaged, your body fully healed and restored like it never met Treckta in the first place.

But you did.

You met her.

And you killed her.

You shut your eyes at a thousand different emotions all at once, voices screaming and howling and instead of the safe darkness you See yourself.

You watch, separate and distanced and unable to look away, as you speak to your Truth. She shakes her head and turns away, pressing buttons that create shining armored eggs that will mold young telun bodies into the shape of their new world and then break away.

The You that is you, but it isn't, it's wrong, he's wrong, reaches out to wrap an arm around her waist.

You think you are screaming.

She leans into the touch, turning a dial that sends them away. She and the You who you are not watch the meteors fly, delivering Fearran far into the past, into a cherub nest, and then littering the rest of you into your time.

"It's done," you cannot hear her say but you see how she moves, about to turn to him, not you.

He smiles and lowers his head and his arm tightens around her waist and you know you are screaming because that is you. You did that.

Your eyes are open, maybe, but you're on the ground and everything is slanted and odd. You don't want to See as you who is he who is you returns to the others.

Your friends but not his.

You see Veritan, protecting Lyllani like you always know he would.

And you hear him, too. Fading in an out like an out of range station.

"Jountos, stop! You're...with him! I can...again!"

More voices join him but your Sight is looping, windows all opening at once and you can't stop Seeing, mind caught between  _what did you do_ and  _what did I do_ because it was you that did it but it wasn't.

"Lyll, Lyll."

You know that voice, too. It's the troll you killed in dozens of timelines that didn't happen but it was you and the you who you aren't.

"Lyll, stop, he's back, it's okay, come back to me. You can stop now. It's okay. It's okay. Lyll, I'm right here. For fucks sake, leave him alone for a minute when you're the reason she's losing it in the first place!"

"What do you expect me to do?" Veritan shouts back.

"I don't know! Do your overprotective thing!"

"My overprotective thing?" Veritan sputters. "Alright, fine, if that's how you're going to be, Lyllani Arttana, so help me, if you don't stop right this instant I won't let you continue seeing this boy!"

Your ears pop and all of the windows shut at once. You gasp for breath, vision swimming. There's a thwack and Veritan hits the ground somewhere in front of you, rubbing his jaw.

"She hit me," he says, voice surprised and impressed.

"That's for making Eridan cry," Lyllani says, her voice rough and rasping. "And if you  _ever_ try to make me break up with someone again, I'll do worse than hit you."

Veritan blinks at her. "Got it."

You close your eyes again and this time you See nothing.

===> Be Reeihvo

You're Reeihvo and being alive is great even if you're shifting a lot to stop yourself from getting hurt. A human pops in every now and then and heals all of you and she's warm and cute and you kind of hate yourself and your mutation for making you feel like that, but to be fair you had that same thought about everyone present. Except the troll. She's so angry that you can taste it, rattling through your bones and making the spot where your other eye isn't throb.

There's a human you really like who feels like low, simmering rage and soft rains that turn the land and you're standing next to her when your mind snaps back into focus. Veritan's mind, fast and darting like a crystalline beetle, comes up first, which makes sense with his abilities. Then Lyllani's- they must be together -but she's different. She used to be crystal sweet and humming with music, but instead she's...purple? Definitely purple, bright and shining with pricks of painfully spicy darkness that are surrounded by even more purple.

Keirtal is on the angry troll's horns again, clinging tightly and stretching his arms out toward the metal railings. They bend and tremble and you can feel the syrupy exhaustion starting to leech through him so you nudge the rain human and point at the railing, motioning snapping with your hands. She looks at them, then you. With a flick of the wands in her hands, the railings break off. Cool relief that still drips with syrup wraps through your mind as Keirtal leaps upward. The metal wraps around the troll, trapping her arms to her body, and a human that feels like frothy frosting and a skipping breeze rushes to catch Keirtal as he almost falls.

The troll screeches and she's so angry, this is her right, we're taking what is rightfully hers and she'll destroy us for our impudence, and nothing we do can stop h-

She stops.

You're glad, because your mind is a little bit fritzy right now and you were having a really hard time keeping that all to yourself. There's a sword in her back and the human who feels like a faintly buzzing glass and bubblegum popping drops her outstretched arms, breathing hard. The rain human moves over to her and you look at the other troll, who is still holding her chainsaw as she studies you suspiciously. You like her. She feels like soft cloths and the perfect balance of warmth and cold. You don't like the chainsaw.

"Ree!"

You look over at Keirtal. He's smiling even though he's confused.

"We won, right?"

You stretch your mind again, linking to him so that he can feel floods of relief from other people, some you don't know but some you do. There's one that feels warm and ticking, almost painfully hot but not quite and you can feel the way it's trying to tether to another that sings of loneliness and longing that tastes like dry leaves and salt.

Keirtal smiles. "Great," he breathes.

You let go of him and continue your search for others you recognize. There's Jountos, but he's twisted and sour and the spines that are supposed to be outside are weaving in so you nudge them away from his core where he's sobbing before you move on. More that you don't know, then one that screeches in your mind like a warning to someone who isn't you and you flail backward, your mind snapping back to the quiet shell of yourself.

"Ree?" Keirtal shrugs off the human he's been leaning on and steps toward you.

You speak with your hands and your head to all of them at once as you say, "There was someone else who did not like me looking. I know where ours are. There are more who I think are going to the same place."

Keirtal grins and shifts back into a wiratl, staggering slightly. "Then why are we still here?" he asks excitedly.

You dart in front of him to stop him. "I can't feel Arcatha."

His smile flickers. "My brother?"

You shake your head.

It vanishes.

The bubblegum human steps forward slowly. "You're shifters, right? You played Sswap?"

You look at Keirtal, who turns slightly greenish and folds his wings around himself. "I didn't get in," he says slowly. "I died."

You nod, pointing at yourself.

"You are Keirtal and Reeihvo, then," the troll says. "The two who did not make it." She steps forward. "I am Kanaya Maryam. I have been travelling with Lyllani for some time."

"Rose Lalonde," says the rain human.

"I'm Roxy."

"John."

"We need to go," says the human who feels like red and green and joyful laughter, appearing through a window. "The frog is going to be out soon and we can figure out the rest of this later."

"Wait, now?" Roxy cries. She reaches out and grabs onto John, then she's touching you too and you were lonely but finally around people and you'd been so proud what would they say if they knew about the drinking and that as soon as you went Trickster you just went right back to how you had been. You want her to like you because she's your mom, but she must have been so much better than you. She's so happy. And you, what, killed her cat? Oh, yeah, great daughtering. You aren't anything like her and you just need to be able to show her that you're worth it. You'll tell her the truth, about your drinking and everything, as soon as-

She releases you and you stumble back, almost tripping off of a lilypad shaped platform before Keirtal grabs you and pulls you back on with his metal hand.

"Don't touch him without warning him," you hear him say. "He's a really powerful telepath, and direct contact without making sure it's okay can be a problem." Fingers snap by your eye and you recoil. "Ree, you okay?"

You blink at him, trying to sort which part of you is you and which part is Roxy. You decide to just nod, because right now all you can think to say is that you could really go for a drink and you think that's a Roxy thought because you don't even have a mouth to drink with most of the time.

Keirtal grimaces and steps away from you, turning to look at the others that have arrived on the lilypad. You look with him and spot Lyllani, though for a confusing moment she's howling in sorrow and covered in darkness, body changing into something that screams with power and destroys everything. She's arguing with Veritan, gesturing at Jountos, who's lying on the ground behind them.

She shoves a small horrorterror in his face and your mind starts working well enough for you to hear her say, "...and she got  _stuck_!"

"Anyone can get stuck," Veritan replies.

"I thought that one was the one that couldn't turn into other things," a troll who feels like quiet comfort and affection and shadows says to the human of heat and time.

"Me too. Maybe that was someone else," the human says back.

"She  _can't_!" Lyllani shouts and a troll in purple who gives you memories more than feelings, light shining through the ocean and soft claws and multicolored eyes, reaches out to touch her face. You wonder if they're Truths.

"We'll figure it out," Veritan promises, taking the horrorterror and turning. "We always do..." He trails off, staring at Keirtal. The horrorterror is reaching for him with all of its tentacles and he's reaching back. You blink and suddenly the monster is Arcatha, crashing into him and wrapping her arms around him and sobbing.

"Or maybe it was that one and there were just shenanigans," says leaves and salt.

"Gotta love shenanigans," heat and time answers.

"Is this everyone?" the troll with the smallest horns asks.

Behind you is power and love and you turn, startled, to see a human adult getting tackled by John and another human. They all blend together and you're dazzled by the joy they're all releasing.

"Gamzee isn't here," Lyllani says. "Dave, you said something about a fridge?"

"Fuck!" the troll yells. "Vriska was going on and on about timeline immortality!"

"So, we don't know where Gamzee is?" the troll that might be her Truth asks.

The human you think is Dave shakes his head and Lyllani pushes on a pair of shades that she's wearing.

"Artaon, can you find him?"

Her mouth tightens into a grim line and you feel her panic and horror and  _I failed him_ all at once.

"John, Karkat, get the door. We need to have somewhere to bring him back to," she says in a no-nonsense tone. John and the troll who must be Karkat both nod, looking at each other as they move over to a door that you hadn't noticed.

Lyllani walks over to the edge of the lilypad, stopping next to you. "Reeihvo?"

You nod.

"I'd like to talk to you. We should hang out, you know? I think it would be fun."

You blink, surprised, then push feelings of excitement and agreement at her. She nods and looks out at the space around you, disconcertingly empty in its entirety. You can feel a blip that you think might be Warrien, more peaceful than Fearran but with the same undertone of  _killkillkillkill_.

Lyllani raises her hands to her mouth and takes a deep breath, then shouts, "Fearran! Wake up and bring back the fridge!"

John and Karkat open the door and you look forward again as light swallows the lilypad. You think you feel a frog.

* * *

Continued in All There Is https://archiveofourown.org/works/14052693

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, just checking, why is Lyllani's voice black?


	62. Update on Things/Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NEW WORK IS THIS WITH EDITS IF YOU LIKED THAT READ THIS CUZ THAT ONE IS GONNA BE BETTER

Okay, if you haven't read the original, that's cool, and if you have read the original, also cool. I'm rewriting it now that it's finished and I know where I wanted it to go, because, frankly, I only really focused on this piece because of the positive reception and was writing kind of blind. This one is better. I know where I'm going. I know how to foreshadow properly. I think it flows better, and I'm kinda torn between getting a backlog or just doing it when I can, which will probably be how it goes since I've got college and also no money, so scholarships are going to take up a lot of the time studying doesn't.

Also, I'm keeping this as posted on 4-13 even though it technically isn't cuz this is just an informative.

As part of the informative: the others in the series are going to be continued, but like I say above, I'm pretty short on time and poor AF. If you want to hit up my patreon and give me an ask, i.e. relates to this stuff, I'm totally down with that, but even when I'm going to be writing, I can't promise I'll publish consistently. As is, I should be doing more classwork and less writing and I tried that and I was unhappy and I'm not going to be unhappy. So, yeah. I'm on tumblr as silverskyofshadow which has a link to my patreon, which is also under CompassUniverse.

Yup. I think that's all. I might come back and update this with another note, but I don't have anything else to say for now.


End file.
